His gaze fell to Sergeant Hawk’s left hand. The man wore a silver band on his finger. “Sergeant, what is that?”
The man grimaced and tried to cover his hand. “I don’t wear it in uniform, sir. Only here in private, with my wife.”
Vicious glanced at Lenny’s left hand. She wore the same type of ring on her finger, the band thinner and more delicate. He noticed then that she wore no collar around her neck. “You don’t wear a collar.”
She touched her neck and looked worried. “Only in private, sir. I abide by the rules when I’m outside my home.”
Vicious waved dismissively. “I’m not worried about rules and regulations.” He sat forward. “Is this a custom from your planet? Is this to do with a vow exchange?”
Lenny smiled. “Is that why you’re here? You don’t understand our way of doing things?”
He nodded. “I believe I may have inadvertently hurt Hallie’s feelings. I want to learn about your culture.”
“That’s very thoughtful of you.” She glanced at her husband and grinned. “Hawk wasn’t so sweet in the beginning.”
“Lenny,” he said warningly but she just laughed and kissed his cheek. The sergeant looked uncomfortable and wouldn’t meet Vicious’ gaze. “I assumed my way of doing things was the best way, sir. It turns out I was wrong.”
Vicious chuckled softly. “Yes, I’m beginning to understand this too.”
“In our culture, after a man finds a young woman he’s sweet on, he asks her father for permission to court her. It’s a slow, gentle process, Colonel. There are chaperoned walks and letters and picnics. We attend public dances together and exchange small trinkets. Love grows slowly, you see?”
“Yes.”
“When we marry, we stand before our friends and family and exchange vows to love and cherish in sickness and health, in times of plenty and in times of none. They come from our sacred book that came with our ancestors from Earth.” Lenny looked a bit wistful. “Some couples write their own vows. My parents did.” She paused and looked a bit uncertain. “A wedding ceremony is a big thing to us. It’s not the same as being Grabbed and hauled off to a sky ship, Colonel.”
“Yes, I see that now.” Even if Hallie hadn’t wanted to get married, he bet that deep down inside, she’d wanted that kind of commitment. Instead, she’d been snatched up and forced into a marriage with a stranger.
“Colonel?” Lenny dared to touch his knee. She smiled encouragingly. “Look, these marriages, they don’t always start off on the best foot but most of us end up very happy.” She moved her hand to Sergeant Hawk’s thigh and gave it a squeeze. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”
He nodded. “Thank you, Lenny. I appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions.”
“Of course, sir. Um, would you mind if I visited Hallie?”
“Not at all. I’ll have Hallie contact you.”
Vicious thanked them and left their quarters. He felt numb as he waited for an elevator. Once inside, he hit the stall button and leaned his forehead against the cold metal.
His heart ached. If Hallie had been planning to run away all along, how much did she hate him for Grabbing her and forcing her into their marriage? His chest tightened so painfully he felt sure he was having a heart attack. Would he lose her now? Would she want to leave him? Could he bear to keep her here against her will?
All this new information swirled in his head. He needed time to process it. But first he had to figure out how to apologize to Hallie in a meaningful way. Hell, after everything she’d been through, she deserved so much more than a simple “I’m sorry”. He just didn’t know how to do that.
And then it hit him.
He hit the activation button and rode the elevator down to the shopping center. He just hoped they had what he needed.
Chapter Ten
Hallie heard the front door open. She nervously rose from the couch where she’d been reading and turned to face the entryway. Vicious entered the living room and caught sight of her. His steps faltered and he paused. Was he upset that she’d gotten dressed in one of his shirts? He hadn’t given her any instructions and she’d gotten cold while he was away.
She noticed the blue gift bag dangling from his hand. Finally, their gazes met. Awash in anxiety, she gripped her hands and hoped he wouldn’t yell too loudly when it came to a head.
Vicious crossed the living room and walked around the couch, stopping when he was only inches from her. His intense gaze unnerved her. She swallowed and waited to see what he would do or say. His fingertips grazed her cheek and drifted down her neck. He grasped a handful of her hair and rubbed it between his fingers. She was surprised to see such sadness in his blue eyes.
“Shorter suits you.”
She frowned up at him. “What?”
“Come here, Kitten.” He took her hand and tugged her over to the big chair he favored. He dragged her down onto his lap.
She perched awkwardly and fidgeted with the hem of the shirt she wore. “I got cold. I hope you don’t mind.”
He caressed her bare thigh. “I don’t mind. I’ll get you some clothing of your own tomorrow.”
“Thank you.”
“Hallie?”
“Yes, Vicious?”
“Look at me, please.”
His slightly pleading tone worried her. She turned her face toward him and gazed into his eyes. “What is it?”
“I’m sorry about this morning. I was upset and didn’t know how to communicate with you.” He brushed his palm over her knee. “I should not have left like that. It was wrong. I’m sorry to have hurt you.”
She imagined it wasn’t easy for a man like Vicious to admit he’d been a jackass. “I think I could have chosen my words better. I didn’t mean to make you feel rejected or to imply that what we’re building is less real or important than the bond my sister and her husband share.” She gripped his hand. “It’s just different, Vicious. It’s not bad, you understand? We’re just starting from a different place.”
“I understand.” He kissed her cheek, his lips lingering on her skin. “I spoke with a woman from your village. She helped me understand the differences between our cultures’ ideas of the mate bond and marriage.”
“Really? Do I know her?”
He nodded. “Her name is Lenny.”
Shock tore through Hallie. “Lenny Greenmarket is on this ship?” Excitement filled her. “Oh my goodness! Can I see her?”
Vicious smiled. “Of course. She asked to see you. I told her I’d pass along the message. You’re welcome to invite her to visit as often as you like.”
Another thought struck Hallie. She touched her hair in the same way Vicious had. The sadness in his eyes… “Did Lenny tell you?”
Vicious seemed reluctant but answered honestly. “Yes.”
“I see.” Fear soured her belly. “So now you know that I’m a criminal.”
Vicious made a disgusted sound and grasped her chin, forcing her gaze to meet his. “You are not a criminal, Hallie. You’re a young woman who chose to fight for something she believed in deeply. I know that I jumped to the wrong conclusion yesterday. I think I may have scared you by assuming you worked with insurgents. It never crossed my mind that someone as young as you would be involved in political dissidence.”
“You’d be surprised,” she whispered. “Our parents and grandparents seem content with the way things are but those of us in the younger generations are totally over it. By the time I was twelve, I knew things had to change. I’d watched my mother die in agony and my baby brother too. Later, it was my stepmother and stepbrothers.” She shook her head as those awful memories tried to take hold. “When I was given the red feather the summer I turned fourteen, I accepted the invitation. I knew things had to change.”
“Red feather?”
“It’s the symbol of our peaceful rebellion. You’ve seen my passport. It has a white feather on it. The symbol of purity, purity in thought and body and mind,” she said. “Well, the Red Feather symbolize
s the blood we’re willing to spill for change. Our own blood,” she clarified. “Each of us who takes the vow promises to never harm another but to be willing to give our lives in defense of the movement.”
“You chose that at fourteen?” He seemed in awe of her.
She shrugged. “You went into a military academy even younger than that, right?” He nodded. “It’s no different. You and I both knew what we wanted to do even as children. The Red Feather? We’re just normal people trying to get others to wake up to what’s wrong with our society. We want medicine. We want science. We want proper educations for all children. We want what they have on the colonies. And why shouldn’t we? We’re all descended from the same planet, from Earth.”
“Yes, but the people from the colonies came from more progressive, scientific ancestors. Your ancestors wanted to shun technology so my people shielded them.”
“My ancestors aren’t alive now. I am. My generation wants more. We want freedom, Vicious.”
“You want to stop the Grabs?” His eyes betrayed his fear.
“Some of us do,” she admitted. “It’s no secret that I’m no fan of the ritual but I took a more moderate approach to them. For some women, being Grabbed is the only way out of Harper’s Well or Connor’s Run or Grogan’s Mill, Vicious.” She squeezed his hand. “I can see now why so many of them try to bribe their way into the winners’ circle of the lottery. This new life of mine is so much better than the old one.”
“I want you to be happy.” He cupped her face. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes. You just have to tell me.”
Hallie’s heart threatened to burst. Vicious looked at her with such adoration and hope. If ever there was a man who stood a chance of making her truly happy, it was Vicious. She touched her forehead to his and closed her eyes. He slid his arms around her. “Just don’t ever stop being you, Vicious. You make me happy. Just the way you are.”
“Truly?” Uncertainty filled his voice.
“Truly.” She savored the sensation of being held in his big, strong arms. His warmth soothed her but a twinge of guilt stabbed her belly. She had to tell him the truth. All of it. “Vicious?”
“Yes, Hallie?”
“I, um, I actually am a criminal. Like—for real.”
She held her breath as his head popped up. He grasped her shoulders and pushed her back a little so he could stare down at her. “Say that again, Hallie.”
“I’m a criminal, Vicious. I broke some of the Alliance laws.” She figured it was all out there now. She might as well tell him everything. “Quite a few of them, actually.” She hesitated while she mentally counted them up for him. “Seven, I think. Wait. No. Eight.”
His face had gone hard as stone. “What laws, Hallie?”
She licked her lips and wondered if she was stupid to trust him. “Aiding and abetting. Trafficking. Forgery. Transport of stolen property.”
He held up his hand. “Enough, Hallie.”
Tears burned her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not sure that’s true.”
She lifted her gaze. Vicious studied her carefully. “No,” she admitted. “I’m not sorry I broke the law to help others.”
“What, exactly, did you do, Hallie? And you must tell me everything—or else.”
“I’m a very good artist. The Red Feather provided me materials and I forged passports for women and children trying to leave Calyx. I was paid a certain amount per passport. I also led escapees through woods and maintained a section of our secret route. That’s how I got the money to send my sister away.” She hadn’t spoken that truth aloud to anyone—ever. There were whispers around her village, of course, but only a select few of her fellow Red Feathers knew the truth. It actually felt good to get it off her chest. “We have paper passports on our planet. They’re easier to forge, you see?” She lifted her wrist and touched the raised bump where her chip had been implanted. “Much different than the ID chips your people use.”
Vicious closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the chair. Fear crept into her belly and spread through her chest. Would he turn her in now? She’d probably just compromised him by telling the truth. He could be in real trouble if he didn’t report her.
“Don’t worry, Vicious. I’ll turn myself in so you don’t have to.”
“What?” His eyes snapped open and he shot ramrod straight in the chair. His arms tightened around her. “You will not.”
“It’s all right, Vicious.” She blinked fast to clear the tears blurring her vision. “I know what it’s like to struggle with doing the right thing and trying to protect someone. It’s not easy. I won’t put you in that position. Let me turn myself in and I’ll swear that you had no knowledge of this.”
He seemed taken aback. “You would lie and go to prison to protect me?”
“Of course,” she replied matter-of-factly. “It’s not your fault you chose a criminal. I won’t let you ruin your career over me. You’ve only known me for a couple of days. I’m not worth risking the position that you earned through years of hardship and sacrifice.”
“You are,” he said tenderly. “You’re worth it to me, Hallie.”
She reeled in shock. “You can’t mean that, Vicious.”
“Have I ever lied to you?”
“No.”
“Then know I mean it, Hallie.”
She gulped as emotions overwhelmed her. “What are we going to do now?”
“Nothing.” He shrugged. “That was your old life. This is your new one.” He stroked the back of her neck. “Can anything be proven?”
She shook her head. “I doubt it. The passports I forged were just bridge paperwork to get the women and children fleeing Calyx into the colonies. Once there, they were taken to shelters where our sympathizers helped them gain proper digital passports that meet Alliance standards. The women running the shelters are incredibly careful. Everything is burned. Besides, Bernie’s was the last one I ever did. She’s been gone three months. That evidence is long gone.”
He relaxed a little. “If this issue ever comes up, you will let me do all the talking, do you understand?”
“Yes, Vicious.”
“I’m owed quite a few favors by friends in the judicial system. I’m sure it can be argued that you were working on a humanitarian mission. As I’ve already told you, we turn a blind eye to ships like the Shepherd. We’re not exactly innocent when it comes to smuggling people off your planet. Also, you were underage for most of it. We don’t punish minors.” He combed his fingers through her hair. “Was it hard?”
“Forging the proper seals and such?” She gave a little shrug. “It just took some practice.”
“And the newsletter Lenny told me about?”
“I’ve always liked to draw. When Ro—a friend,” she quickly covered, “brought up the idea of putting together a newsletter to get out our message, I suggested we do drawn panels. Very few people finish school in my village. It made sense to provide the information in pictures.”
“When did you leave school?”
“At twelve,” she said sadly. “Father decided that it wasn’t good for me. I was asking too many questions, apparently.”
“The wrong questions, I’m sure.” Vicious didn’t sound happy. “That won’t happen here, Hallie. I know we collar our women and have sexual relationships that are confusing to you, but we require all children, male and female, to attend at least twelve years of school. Advanced education is encouraged. Our daughters will go to college, whether they like it or not. Our sons will go into the academy.”
She snorted at his certainty. “You have it all mapped out, huh?”
His lips twitched. “Well you certainly shot all of my best-laid plans straight to hell. I’m sure our children will do the same.”
She laughed. “If they take after their mother, you’re in for a rough eighteen years.”
“No doubt.” He kissed her then, his lips moving across hers with such gentleness that it brought tears to her eyes. “Are w
e all right now?”
“Yes.” She kissed his jaw. “We’re better than all right.”
His fingertips moved down her neck. “I’m pleased that you trusted me with your secrets, Hallie.”
“It felt good to tell you.”
“You can tell me anything, Hallie. I swear to you. I’ll always keep your confidences.”
She caressed his cheek. “I’ll do the same for you. Always.”
“Here.” He reached down and grabbed the gift bag he’d placed on the floor. “I got you something.”
She eyed the bag with some suspicion. “The last time you brought me a bag, I had to wear a cat mask.”
Vicious laughed. “I promise you’ll like what’s in here.”
She still wasn’t convinced. Knowing his tastes, there could be all sorts of kinky things in that bag. “Is it a sex gift?”
“No.” He grinned mischievously. “But I’m hoping if you like it, there will be some sex afterward.”
Hallie gave him her most prim and proper smile. “We’ll see.”
She took the bag from him and placed it on her lap. She’d never been given a gift like this. Tufts of white tissue paper crowned the bag. A small handmade tag bearing one initial—V—dangled from the handle.
Excited and curious, she pulled out the tissue paper and tilted the bag so she could see the contents. When she realized what was in the bag, she couldn’t stop the sappy grin that tugged at her lips. She reached in and retrieved the boxes of colored pencils and crayons. There were sketch pads and colored pens too.
“Vicious,” she breathed.
“I know these aren’t high-quality but they’re all I could get my hands on today.” He picked up one of the boxes of colored pencils and studied it. “I’ll put in a special order for proper art supplies once you write down what you need.”
“These are better than anything I’ve ever owned,” she murmured, her throat tightening with emotion. “I used expensive inks to make the forgeries but those weren’t mine. We kept them hidden away in our work site. These,” she hugged the boxes and paper to her chest, “are all mine.”
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