“Yes. I understand.” Terror gestured to his leg. “It wasn’t like that, Vee. She just wanted to patch me up. That’s all. I would never touch your wife.”
He should have known that. He should never have doubted his best friend or Hallie. She loved him. She’d taken a public shearing over turning on her friends. She would never have betrayed him by committing adultery. His stupidity made his stomach ache. “I’ve really fucked this up, Terror.”
“We all make mistakes, Vee.” His gaze moved to the open doorway of the master bedroom. “She loves you. She’ll forgive you.”
“Yes. I’m sure she will. She probably shouldn’t.”
“You should be more concerned with Hallie forgiving herself.”
“What?”
“I can see it in her face. She’s tormenting herself with the guilt of killing Dodson. She’s not going to let it go, Vicious. It’s going to twist her up inside. You’ve got to help her.”
“I will.” He had to deal with Terror first. “Do you want me to call a medic?”
Terror shook his head and held out his hand. “Help me up.”
Vicious nodded and stood. He reached down and grasped Terror’s hands. With one swift tug, he pulled the man to his feet. Eye to eye, they stared at one another. Vicious finally spoke. “You’re my best friend in all the universe, but if you ever put Hallie in danger again, I’ll finish this thing we started today.”
Terror didn’t blink. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
Their peace made, Vicious walked Terror to the door. He waited until Terror was on the elevator before returning to his communication console and contacting the med bay. Terror would be annoyed but he needed to be looked at by a medic. Vicious gave orders to have someone intercept Terror and haul him back to the infirmary, under armed guard if need be.
His friend looked after, Vicious headed into their bedroom. He heard the shower running. He sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at the floor. How the hell did he fix this?
She needed him. That much was clear. That much he could do without screwing it up.
Vicious peeled out of his uniform and boots. He entered the steamy bathroom and caught sight of himself in the mirror. Hallie had cleaned away most of the blood but his bottom lip was swollen and his nose a bit red. He’d be sporting a nice bruise on his temple by tomorrow morning. Explaining that one at the office was going to be fun.
He stepped into the shower with Hallie. She had her eyes closed and her face in the water spray. The sight of her shaking shoulders tore at him. He’d done this. He’d forced this confrontation and the ugly truth out of her. He’d accused her of the very worst.
“I’m sorry, Hallie.” He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face against her neck. “Forgive me.”
She pulled her face from the spray but wouldn’t look back at him. “How could you think I’d betray you like that?”
“I’m not proud of myself, Hallie. I heard something and jumped to the wrong conclusion.” He couldn’t believe how emotionally he’d reacted. There was a time when he’d have verified before acting. Why hadn’t he just asked her?
“I know how it sounded. I really was just asking him to get out of those bloody pants and on the bed so I could stop the bleeding.” She shivered in his arms. “We were just lucky it wasn’t a truly deep cut. If he’d nicked an artery, he would have died there on the floor of that hotel room.”
His gut lurched at the possibility. Hallie would have been left alone to deal with two dead bodies and the very real threat of retribution from Dodson’s people. “You’re never going anywhere with Terror again.”
She made a short laughing sound. “Terror and I agreed that was for the best. I’d like to not ever have to kill someone again.”
Vicious ached for her. “I know it’s hard, Hallie. That first time is always the worst.”
“That’s what Terror said. Apparently, it gets easier.”
“For some men, maybe,” he agreed cautiously. “For me? No. I still feel the weight of the lives I took in battle. The ones in close combat are especially difficult to carry.”
She sagged in his arms. “I wish you’d been there with me. I needed you so much but I only had Terror. He tried but he’s not very comforting. He basically told me to suck it up and forget it ever happened.”
Vicious winced. “I shouldn’t have dodged your calls. I’m sorry, Hallie.”
“It doesn’t really matter. I wouldn’t have told you over a call. I just—I needed to hear your voice and see your face.”
The longing in her voice killed him. He hesitated. “Do you think you can ever forgive me?”
She slowly turned in his arms and placed her cheek to his chest. “I already have.”
The depth of her love and forgiveness stunned him. He truly didn’t deserve her kindness and generosity. If the tables had been turned, he was sure he’d have held on to that grudge for a long time. He wasn’t proud to admit that but it was true.
“Let me bathe you, Hallie. It will help.”
She surrendered to him with a small nod. He took his time washing her body. His palms spread the foamy lather over her skin, following the curves of her small breasts and the gentle slope of her belly. Kneeling down, he washed her feet, taking care with her toes, and then slid his hands up her legs to her thighs and back. He rinsed her slowly and swept his hands up and down her body to wash away the soap.
His fingers tangled in her hair as he worked her favorite shampoo into a thick lather. She leaned back against him, her hands resting on his thighs. He swirled his fingers over her scalp and tried to decide what to do once they were out of the shower. He had an idea of how to help her relieve the guilt but it was a bit unorthodox.
She spluttered a bit as he nearly drowned her while rinsing her hair. He laughed and pulled her back. “Sorry.”
She whacked his arm but laughed. “Pay attention.”
“I’m trying,” he said. “It’s been so long since I’ve touched you, Kitten. You’re making it hard for me to think.”
He quickly washed and shut off the water. He stepped out first and wrapped a towel around his waist. He reached for her and helped her onto the thin mat. She stood still as he rubbed her dry with a towel and squeezed most of the water from her dripping hair. He wiped at his chest and back and dried his short hair while considering his options.
“Hallie, do you trust me?” He draped their towels over the bar.
“Yes.”
There was no hesitation or uncertainty in her answer. He held out his hand. “Come with me. We’re going to try something a little different, Kitten.”
She grasped his hand and met his gaze. “Okay.”
He led her out of the bathroom, into the bedroom and to the door he’d kept locked since their first night. She hung back a bit when he stepped inside the darkened room. He tugged on her hand and raised a questioning brow. She nodded and followed, showing him such bravery.
Inside the room, he adjusted the lights to a dim setting and played with the temperature controls. He liked his rooms nice and cool but Hallie seemed to like them a bit warmer. With what he had in mind, she was going to need the added comfort of some warmth.
He dropped her hand to check on his equipment. Virtually all of it was unused and new. He’d picked out the various implements and pieces of furniture with a new wife in mind. He smiled at the silly notions he’d harbored then. By now, he’d planned to have introduced his new bride to everything in here. As it was, she’d touched the restraint table and nothing else.
When he turned around, he found Hallie next to the restraint table. Her fingertips glided over the gleaming metal surface. He wondered if her memories of the table were good or bad. Possibly a mix of both, he reasoned. She lifted questioning eyes to him. He shook his head. “Not tonight, Kitten.”
Instead, he sat on the nearby spanking bench and motioned for her. “Come here, Hallie.” He pointed to the spot in front of him. “Kneel.”
She w
ent to the floor gracefully, sat back on her heels and placed her hands on her thighs. He bent down and moved her hands into the correct position, her palms up toward him, and widened her thighs. He saw the slight furrowing of her brow. No doubt she’d already committed his preferred kneeling position to memory. She was nothing if not considerate and thorough.
He cupped her chin and forced her gaze to meet his. “You feel guilty for killing that man.”
She nodded. “I took a life, Vicious.”
“A pathetic, disgusting life,” he corrected.
“But still a life,” she replied. “I’m not a judge or jury, Vicious.”
“Dodson was a pig. He was a monster. He’d already spent fifteen years in the Kovark prisons for murder and rape. He put those scars on Terror’s face.” Vicious touched the scars along his neck and shoulder. “He put these on me.”
Her face showed surprise. “I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t tell you.” Vicious caressed her face. “You did what you had to do.”
“I made a split-second decision to kill one person to save another. It’s still murder, even if in defense of a friend.”
Her statement confirmed his fears. “You won’t feel better until you’re punished.”
She didn’t say anything. She simply swallowed and blinked. He could tell she struggled with that realization.
“I’m going to help you, Kitten.”
“How?” Her question was breathless and soft.
“I’m going to show you pain. You’ll suffer your penance under my hand.” He tipped her face and lowered his until their noses were only inches apart. “Are you afraid?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He let his thumb outline her mouth. “If it’s too much, if you can’t handle it, you say ‘white’ and we’re all done for the night. Understood?” She nodded dutifully. Vicious lowered his mouth and kissed her deeply. She lifted up to meet his searching tongue. When she trembled, he pulled back and rubbed her cheek. “Let’s get started.”
Hallie shivered under his intense gaze. Fear rattled her belly. The slight quiver of panic made her chest hurt. Pain? Punishment? Could she really go through with this?
Vicious would never really harm her. That she believed more than anything. Whatever they were going to do was going to hurt, yes, but it wouldn’t inflict lasting harm or damage. As she gazed into his blue eyes, she realized he understood what she needed. The guilt of having taken a life, even a rotten one, was too much for her to move past without some kind of punishment. To receive that under his loving hand was exactly what she needed.
“Come here.” Vicious patted his lap. “Hands on the floor. Head down.”
She followed his instructions and draped herself across his lap. He was so tall and she so short that it was a stretch to put her hands on the floor. He shifted her a little on his lap, tilting her forward enough that she felt off balance. His big arm clamped down across her shoulders and held her in place. She flinched when his hand caressed her bottom. He’d smacked her backside before, that evening he’d brought home the cat getup, but that was playful. This wouldn’t be.
“Ow!” She cried out and twisted as his massive palm cracked her right butt cheek. His hand quickly descended on the other side and then returned to the right. “Ow! Oh! No!”
“Hush.” Vicious spoke sternly as he delivered the unending smacks. “You deserve this. You need to be punished.”
He was right. She’d done a bad thing. A burning sting blossomed across her bottom. The uncomfortable heat spread as his hand whacked her again and again. She’d never been spanked like this. Ten whacks was the usual around her house for bad behavior. This? This was ceaseless and sharp and so much worse because she was naked across Vicious’ lap.
“Please,” she begged and tried to wiggle off him. “Please, Vicious.”
“No.” His hand fisted in her hair. He didn’t pull or yank or cause her pain but the knowledge that he could kept her still. “Take it, Hallie. Accept your punishment.”
She lowered her gaze to the floor as he beat her ass. As the humiliation and embarrassment of having her husband spank her started to fade, something new took hold. It felt almost…right.
All the guilt she’d carried the last few days welled up inside her. She choked on the ugliness of it. The memory of what she’d done, the way she’d stabbed that man in the neck and then helped Terror get rid of the body, to dispose of it like so much garbage, made her ill. She sobbed against Vicious’ thigh. Each painful pull of air stretched her lungs and made her stomach burn. She’d done a terrible thing. She needed to suffer for it.
Her bottom was on fire now but Vicious showed no signs of letting up. She cried and pleaded but he didn’t show mercy. His big hand found a rhythm that tormented her. Still, the pain and guilt of what she’d done raged inside her.
His hand stilled on her backside. He caressed her lower back and the space between her shoulders. “Are we done? Have you forgiven yourself yet?”
“No.” The answer tore from her throat on a nasty sob. “Punish me, Vicious. Make me hurt.”
He went rigid beneath her. In the next instant, he stood and tossed her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Her bottom hurt but it wasn’t enough. The guilt clogged her throat, made it difficult to breathe.
Vicious set her on her feet and made quick work of securing her arms overhead in some kind of device. Leather cuffs like the ones she’d worn the first night squeezed her wrists. They were hooked to a large ring dangling from a chain mounted to the ceiling. He adjusted the slack on the chain and forced her onto her very tiptoes.
Still, he wasn’t done. Vicious put cuffs around her ankles and spread her thighs wide. He fixed chains to the cuffs and hooked those into small rings protruding from the floor. She balanced precariously now. Panic momentarily overrode the guilt.
He stepped away and returned with a towel. Even in this frightening moment, he showed such tenderness as he wiped away the saliva and tears and snot from her sobbing session. The towel was discarded as he walked to a tall, thin metal chest on wheels. It reminded her of a toolbox. He opened a drawer and removed two shiny silver clips attached to a chain.
She gulped at the sight of them. That night at the general’s party, she’d seen women wearing those.
“No!” She tried to pull back but there was no escape. “Vicious, please, not that.”
He silenced her with a punishing kiss. “You asked for this. I’m giving you what you need.”
He bent low and swiped her left nipple with his tongue. He sucked it gently, forcing it into a stiff peak, and then clamped one of the clips onto it. She hissed and tried to jerk away but his mouth had already descended to her right breast. He performed the same procedure there.
Breasts aching and nipples pinched, she inhaled a shuddery breath. He picked up the chain dangling between the two clamps and lifted it to her neck. There was still enough slack that the clamps didn’t pull. Vicious quickly remedied that when he opened the ring on the front of her collar and hooked the chain there. Instantly, her nipples were tugged and buzzing.
“Oh! Oh no!”
“Sh.” He kissed her cheek. “Learn to accept the pain, Hallie. Feel it.”
She gulped as his words penetrated her confused mind. He moved around behind her now. She wanted to turn to watch him but the slightest movement of her neck pulled on the clamps. The sharp bite was too much so she stayed stock still.
Another drawer opened behind her. He retrieved something. Whatever it was, it made a strange whirring sound as he moved his arm. The first thud of the thing landed on her backside and she gasped. “Ah!”
“It’s a flogger, Hallie.”
Knowing what it was didn’t make it any easier to accept. The first few whacks were soft but heavy. The weight of the material impacted her bottom with enough force to make her cringe. It wasn’t bad so much as different.
Until Vicious increased the power behind each smack of the leathery tendrils, that is.
Her gasps turned into cries as the flogger hit her bottom again and again. Her tissues, already sore from that spanking, now protested the sharp, heavy thud of the flogger tongues. She rose even higher on tiptoes, her calves burning and arms tensing, and tried to escape. It was no use. She was caught and forced to endure her punishment.
Her mind turned to another time she’d been forced to receive a punishment. Then it had been about humiliation. Having her head shaved in front of her village had marked her as a law breaker and a criminal. Even worse, it was the same punishment reserved for the prostitutes discovered by the village police. Anyone who saw her after that immediately believed her to be a whore. She’d learned then to ignore the disdainful looks or the pitying gazes. She’d learned to move beyond what people thought and be content in what she knew to be the truth.
In some way, this experience was the same. The pain Vicious produced with his hand and that flogger began to surpass the pain of her guilt. She still felt so twisted up inside. The flashbacks of that night tortured her. The hot blood spilling over her hand, the gurgling death rattle as the man finally expired. She could feel the cloth in her hand as it wiped away the congealed blood on that hotel room floor. She closed her eyes as hot tears poured down her cheeks.
She sobbed loud and rough. It was an ugly cry that racked her body with spasms. Behind her, Vicious tossed the flogger to the floor. It hit with a noisy thump. He wasn’t finished with her. She knew because she wasn’t finished with herself. The catharsis he’d promised still hadn’t arrived.
His hand tangled in her hair. He tugged her head back, forcing her chin up and the collar around her neck to pull taut the chain attached to those awful clamps. She gasped in pain but Vicious soothed her with his mouth. His lips followed the curve of her neck and touched her jaw. His mouth against her ear, he whispered, “I love you, Hallie.”
Before she could answer him, he stepped back and popped her bottom with something hard and unforgiving. A cane, she realized a second later.
“AHH!”Hallie screamed as the sharp, angry pain striped her backside. “No! No! Oh.”
Grabbed by Vicious: 1 Page 21
