by Elle James
Her back stiffened. She preferred to fight her own battles, if for no other reason than to prove she could. “Well, I could have taken him out. But it worked out for the best. No blood to clean up is always a good thing.” Roxi stared at his chest, afraid that if she looked into his eyes, she’d forget her name, much less what she wanted to say before she chickened out.
“And your point about the kiss?” he prompted, touching a finger to her chin, lifting it, forcing her to look him square in the eyes.
She fell into his green-eyed gaze, her own unflinching, though her cheeks burned and her core flamed. “Why did you kiss me?”
He blinked and answered without hesitation, “I wanted to so badly, I had to.”
Her brows V’d toward the bridge of her nose and a sick feeling filled her belly. “Do I remind you of your wife?”
Decker shook his head, brushing a hand along her cheek. “No. Not in the least. She had short, dark hair, brown eyes and pale skin.”
Almost opposite of Roxi’s light blond hair and blue eyes. Her skin had the soft, healthy golden tan of one who enjoyed the outdoors as much as possible.
Decker’s brows rose. “Why did you kiss me?” He stepped closer, his fingers resting on her arms.
Holy hell, she wanted him to pull her against him. Her gaze slid to his lips and her tongue snaked out to moisten her suddenly dry lips. “I kissed you because…because…” she sighed, “because I couldn’t not kiss you.” She touched her fingers to his chest and whispered, “And I want to do it all again.” Her confession left her open, exposed and vulnerable.
Decker’s fingers tightened on her arms, but he didn’t haul her against his body. “Are you sure? The last time we kissed you ran off like a scalded cat.”
She curled her fingers into his shirt tugging him closer. “I promise not to run this time.”
“Why did you run? Did I do something to scare you?” He stroked his hands down her arms, sending tingles across her nerve endings.
Roxi, the tough bar owner shook her head, her eyes rounded, a tremor shaking her beneath his hands. Obviously, she wasn’t as tough as she thought she was. Hell, she was shaking, afraid he’d turn away and leave her standing there after confessing she wanted to kiss him again.
What was his question? She blinked and thought before answering, “No, of course you don’t scare me.” She snorted softly. “I scare myself.” Her gaze dropped to where her hands twisted in the fabric of his shirt. “You see, I’ve never felt that…that…intensity of desire as I did when I kissed you.”
“And it scared you?” He traced his finger up her arm, across her shoulder and cupped her cheek. “Do you want to kiss me again and see if you’re still scared.”
She gave him a tremulous smile. “Could I?”
“Darlin’ you don’t even have to ask.” He bent until his mouth hovered over hers, allowing her to close the distance.
When she did, her control slipped, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, dragging him closer.
His hands curled around her hips and pulled her against him. If she’d had doubt about his attraction to her, she didn’t after his erection pressed into the softness of her belly, and she could think of even better places for him to press into. She closed her eyes, reminding herself to take it slowly.
Roxi was a badass on the outside, but on the inside, she was as vulnerable as a virgin and she didn’t want to scare him away with her inept sexual abilities.
HOLY HELL. Decker held her like a china doll, afraid he’d break her if he wasn’t careful. Was he ready for this kind of commitment? She deserved a man who wasn’t as screwed up as he was. Decker wasn’t sure he wanted anything more than a roll in the sheets. He wasn’t over the death of his wife and the survivor’s guilt he’d lived with since.
Roxi laced her fingers through his hair, urging him closer.
He couldn’t resist. Decker traced the seam of her lips and she opened to him. He swept in, claiming her tongue in a long, sensuous thrust.
Her breasts pressed against his chest and she moaned into his mouth.
The sound spiked his arousal, shooting a bolt of electricity straight to his groin. He skimmed her lower back and downward over the curve of her ass, cupping her cheeks in his palms.
She shifted, parting her legs to straddle one of his, the apex of her thighs rubbing over his taut muscle.
The tension stretched tight, Decker’s grasp on control teetered on the verge of complete abandon. If he didn’t stop now, he wouldn’t be able to, and he knew it had to be Roxi’s choice for how far they did or didn’t go. Coming on too strong, pushing her up against the wall and taking her in the middle of the living room could frighten her and make her run again. Sure, she’d said she’d scared herself, but how much of that fear had to do with how aroused he’d obviously been?
Though it took all of his concentration, Decker pulled away first and pressed his forehead to hers, his breathing ragged, his heart thudding against his ribs. “If this is as far as you want to go, tell me now. If we go any farther, I can’t guarantee I can stop making love to you.”
“Who said I wanted to stop?” She bunched her fingers in the fabric of his shirt, dragged it out of the waistband of his trousers and pushed it up over his head.
Decker tossed it to the side and curled his fingers around her hips.
Roxi ran her hands over his bare chest, the tip of her tongue darting out to moisten her lips. “Your muscles are so hard.”
He captured one of her hands. “Darlin’, you’re killing me.”
She stared at her hands on his chest. “Because I’m touching you?”
“Hell, Roxi. Just being with you makes me crazy.”
“Crazy good or crazy bad?” She twirled her finger around one of his small brown nipples.
Decker groaned. “Crazy good, in a way that makes me want to be bad.”
She leaned forward and kissed the nipple. “What if I want you to be crazy bad?”
“I don’t want to scare you.”
She trailed her fingers down his chest, across his abs to the rivet on his jeans. “Then let me get this party started.”
“Okay. I’m all for you taking the lead.” He raised his hands in surrender. “As long as you tell me when, or if, we’re going too fast.”
She gave him a half-smile. “Thanks.”
Anything that would move toward the possibility of getting naked with Roxi was all right in Decker’s books. God, he hoped that’s where she was headed, or he might explode.
Roxi took his hand and led him toward the open bedroom door.
Decker squeezed her fingers, excitement building inside.
Once through the door, Roxi turned to face him and dragged her tank top up over her head and let it drop to the floor. A shiver rippled across her body as she stood in front of him in her bra and cutoffs. She flicked the rivet through the button hole on his jeans and tugged his zipper down.
His erection sprang free into the palm of her hand.
Roxi curled her fingers around him, her eyes widening. “Wow, are you always this big and hard.”
“Jesus, Roxi.” Decker gripped her arms and clenched his jaw to keep from tossing her on the bed and making insanely passionate love to her. He closed his eyes and drew in a deep, steadying breath. “No, I’m not always this way. Only when a beautiful woman wraps herself around me.” He tipped her chin up, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “Darlin’, have you never made love with a man?”
A shadow crossed over her face, her pale blue eyes darkening, and she closed her eyes. “I’m not a virgin, if that’s what you mean,” she said softy.
“Roxi, look at me,” Decker said softly. “You didn’t answer me. Not really.”
She opened her eyes, her brow puckering, her fingers releasing him. “I’ve been with a man before.” Her voice was low, and hard.
He cupped her cheek. “I take it you didn’t consent.”
“No.” She stepped back and spun away, her arms wrapped aroun
d her bare middle. “I was raped.”
Red hot anger seared through Decker. “The bastard deserves to die.” Tucking himself back into his jeans, he zipped, leaving the rivet unbuttoned. He gripped her arms and pulled her back to his chest, holding her lightly, allowing her the option of escaping easily. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against her hair. “Have you been with a man since?”
“No.” She waved her hand and let it drop to her side. “Every time a man tried to make love to me afterward, I panicked.”
“Have you shared your fears with any other man?”
She stiffened. “No.”
His heart fluttered. She’d told him. That had to mean something.
“Maybe what you need is to be in control. If you want to make it happen, take charge in the situation.”
“What if I do something stupid?” She stared out at the moonlit sky.
He took her hand and raised it to his lips. “You can’t do anything stupid. You’re a strong, independent woman.”
“To a certain extent.” Roxi faced him. “I’ve hidden myself away on this island for so long, but I haven’t been idle or a recluse by any means.”
“You’re friendly with your customers, and they love you.”
She grimaced. “Yeah, except that Len who was such a butt.” Roxi sighed, stared out the window again, and went on, her words short and emphasized. “The point is, I’m a business owner and I deal with people all day and night. I should be confident enough in my own abilities to enjoy a reasonable sex life.”
“Hey, I won’t argue that point.” He grinned. “I have a lot at stake here.”
Her shoulders relaxed as she faced him again, a wry smile twisting her lips. “Thanks for being patient with me.”
He intertwined his fingers with hers. “Tell you what, if you still want to get down and dirty, I’ll do my best not to interfere too much. I’m all for equal opportunity, as well. You can be on top.”
She laughed out loud and touched his chest. “Are you always this accommodating?”
“Honey, you have no idea how difficult it is to keep from holding you so tight you can’t get away. I want you in the worst way.”
“Then we’re not stopping now?” Roxi said, a smile spreading across her face.
“Not unless you want to. But you’re in charge, and I’ll do anything you want me to, within reason, of course.”
“You mean that?” She stared up into his eyes, her own round, trusting.
“I do.” He spread his arms wide. “I won’t touch you, unless you ask.”
“Would you touch me now?” she asked.
He chuckled. “So soon?”
Her blue eyes darkened. “The sooner, the better.”
Decker dragged his finger along the curve of her jaw, down the long straight column of her neck and across her collar bone. He glanced up to gauge her reaction as his hand drew near the swell of her breast in the lacy white bra.
Her gaze fixed on the hand gliding across the plump swell of her breast.
“Tell me to stop, and I will,” he said, praying she wouldn’t.
“Stop.”
Decker’s fingers froze on the edge of the lacy undergarment.
Roxi reached behind her and flicked the hooks on her bra, releasing them. Then she shimmied the rest of the way out and tossed the bra over the nightstand. “Now, where were we?”
Decker’s heart leaped, and his erection jerked.
Roxi raised one of Decker’s hands and laid it across her shoulder. “I hope I didn’t kill the mood.”
“You couldn’t,” he said, his voice strained from pulling way back on the reins. “Not the way I’m feeling right now.”
Once again, her fingers traced down the front of Decker’s torso and farther south to the zipper he’d just pulled up.
Roxi eased it down again. This time, when he poked out of the denim, she paused briefly to fondle him and then pushed his jeans downward.
Decker toed off his boots and stepped clear of his jeans. Naked in front of her, he reached for the waistband of her cutoffs. With his fingers on the button, he caught her gaze. “Are you okay with this?”
She nodded. “I’d feel a whole lot better if I were naked too.” She grinned and guided his hand to the button, helping him release it.
He shoved her shorts over her rounded hips and followed them down to her ankles. Decker dropped to one knee and helped her step out. Then he caressed her ankles, brushing his fingers along the insides of her legs, rounding to the backs of her knees and skimming the tenderness of her inner thighs.
He’d show her that making love was completely different than having a man force himself on her.
Chapter 8
Roxi sucked in a breath, her heart hammering in her chest. The closer his fingers moved toward her center, the weaker her knees grew until they wobbled, refusing to hold her upright. She placed her hands on Decker’s shoulders to steady herself.
God, he was beautiful—his body hard, tanned and sexy. And his cock was thick, jutting out like a sword to pierce her.
A shiver rippled over her body and that familiar ache built at her center, spreading outward to every nerve ending in her body, making her ultra-sensitive to his touch. When he swept his fingers across the triangle of fabric covering her sex, she moaned.
Immediately his hand stopped, and he glanced up, his brows furrowed. “Are you still okay with this?”
She nodded, biting on her lower lip, her entire body burning with desire, eager for him to take it to the next step.
And he did. Slipping his finger into the elastic waistband of her panties, he dragged them down.
Impatience made Roxi help things along, quickly shucking the constricting garment. Free of all clothing and wanting him inside her, she grabbed his hand and backed toward the bed.
When she bumped into the mattress with her bottom and the backs of her legs, heat rose in her cheeks. This was it. The first time she’d have sex with a man since she was thirteen. She’d avoided it with all the boys she’d dated from high school and beyond, until now. Every one of them gave up on her when she refused to go beyond second base. Either that, or she’d stopped answering their phone calls or told them she was busy until they quit calling.
The master of avoiding the inevitable, Roxi was glad she’d waited. With Decker standing naked in front of her, the possibility of making love never appealed to her more.
Holy hell, he was freakin’ hot. She could stare at his naked form for hours and never get tired of seeing all those toned muscles and hard planes. Her core tightened in anticipation of his rigid staff gliding into her channel.
Oh, sweet Jesus, let it be soon!
Decker slid his hands around her middle and down over her bottom. He scooped her up.
Her legs naturally wrapped around his waist, her entrance poised over the tip of his cock. She tried to ease down over him.
Decker shook his head. “Not yet. I haven’t even started the foreplay.”
“I’ve heard foreplay is overrated,” she said, her voice breathy, her breasts pressing against him. His chest hairs tickled, making her even more aware of every part of him touching her.
He laid her on the bed and pressed his lips to hers in a brief kiss. “We also need protection.”
She bit her lip. How could she forget? After she’d been raped, she’d waited for two weeks, wracked with worry that she might be pregnant. At thirteen, she knew she was in no way ready to be a mother. Roxi had never been happier to start her period. She’d cried in the bathroom at school, embarrassed and relieved at once.
She’d felt dirty after the man had forced himself on her. Embarrassed, frightened, ashamed and violated. Although the man had said he’d kill her if she told anyone, she couldn’t hide it from her mother. As soon as Roxi’s mom came home from work, she knew something was wrong. Finding her daughter curled on the floor of the bathroom, bawling, was a sure sign all was not right in Roxi’s world. Her mother had wrapped her arms around her and taken
her to the hospital.
Roxi suffered the humiliation of the rape kit and recounting her story to a female police officer. Unfortunately, her attacker had never been caught.
Roxi pushed thoughts of that day to the very back of her mind and focused on the man standing beside the bed in all his naked glory. This was not a dirty bastard preying on young girls foolish enough to walk alone at night.
Decker was a man who knew how to please a woman in the most sensual way. And he was about to unleash his techniques on her. He slid onto the bed beside her and leaned on one elbow. “Still okay?”
She nodded. “But does it always take this long to get to the point?”
He grinned and brushed a strand of her hair out of her face. “Sometimes longer. You can’t rush perfection.” Then he winked.
Her heart fluttered and her skin tingled.
“You’re an incredibly beautiful woman.”
Roxi didn’t think of herself as beautiful. Passably pretty, but not beautiful. But when Decker looked at her like he was at that moment, with hunger in his eyes and an intensity that was hard to resist, Roxi felt sexy, desirable and incredibly feminine.
Decker tucked the hair behind her ear and dragged his knuckles across her chin and lips, then drew a path down the length of her neck to the swells of her breasts. He paused to lightly pinch the tip of one nipple.
Roxi’s back arched off the bed as if of its own accord. She touched the apex of her thighs, pressing down to sooth the ache growing at her core. No amount of pressure would ease the torment. She realized the only cure would be to take all of Decker into her to fill the void. And how she wished he’d get to that part soon. She wasn’t certain how much more foreplay she could stand and not come apart.
Leaning over her, Decker sucked one of her nipples into his mouth, tongued and nibbled it until Roxi whimpered, her body on fire, her control slipping with every passing moment.
As if aware of his effect on her, Decker didn’t linger over her breasts. He kissed his way over her ribs and across her belly, arriving at the tuft of hair over her sex.
