by M. Brennan
Just as I'm about to reach the door I spot Taylor in the corner with a girl on his lap. They're not kissing but I can tell the girl is dying to. He's seductively running his hand up and down her leg. Well at least he's moved on and won't bother me. I don't know why but that gives me a queasy feeling.
Ugh I can't be jealous. I'm just tired and drunk I need to get out of here. As I'm about to look away he spots me. He doesn't stop his hand movements on her leg. I need to leave so I just smile and walk out. I'm too tired to analyse what I think about him or what he wants not that I need to anymore.
I pull a taxi and head straight home. I'm tired and very frustrated. Damn Taylor, he's such a mind fuck. I just need to sleep him and his mental ways off. I climb into bed hope to God I can get some sleep.
The next morning I wake early, I need to go job hunting. I'm going to need a large coffee so I reckon I'll hit Starbucks to start my day. Once I'm showered and dressed I head out of my room. When I get to the kitchen I hear movement.
"Stacey gonna head out for coffee… I stop when I see it's not Stacey but some strange naked man in the kitchen. I quickly cover my eyes like I've never seen a naked man before.
"Eh sorry." I'm completely lost for words so I just say, "Gotta go!" then run out the front door. Well at least Stacey will be happy today the dirty bitch.
I head to Starbucks and order a large latte and blueberry muffin. While I wait I take my phone out and go through some job sites. Twenty minutes and half a latte later and I still haven't found anything. This is not going to be easy. Someone sits beside me, when I look up Taylor is there.
"What the hell? You are a stalker! Once is a coincidence, twice is stalking." This guy is unreal.
"What? I just came in for a coffee." He smiles at me in a mockingly innocent way.
"Sure you did," I say rolling my eyes.
He nods at my phone then asks, "Looking for a job?" The pig.
"Eh yeah I am. The prick who took over my company fired me"
"You know for such a pretty girl you have a foul mouth and if you remember correctly I offered you a better job with more money and benefits too," he says with amusement twinkling in his eyes.
"Well I'm not a hooker," I snap.
"I never said you were."
"No, but you want me to act like one." I wonder why does he want me to act like one so I ask, "Why?"
Poor guy, he just looks confused. "Why?"
"Yeah, why do you want to pay me to sleep with you? Why not do what normal men do and woo the girl and get it for free."
"For many reasons, one being I'm too busy for a relationship and I pay because I'd want you at my beck and call. I'd also require you to escort me to some business events so the money I'd pay you would cover the costs such as dresses or anything else I'd need from you."
"Well I'm sure there are a lot of girls or companies out there that could help you out." I wink at him.
"That may be true but I want you." Man, he doesn't give up.
"Well I don't want you." Then the cheeky fucker has the gall to throw my "why" back at me.
"Because I'm a flowers and chocolates girl. I believe in love and cuddles." I smile because he definitely isn't and by the disgusted look on his face it seems I may have hit the kill switch to his obsession with me.
"I want to give you the best sex of your life. I want to own you in every way I can in the bedroom, and I'm sure I could think up a nice punishment to deal with that disobedience of yours."
Oh hell no he didn't.
"I'm not a dog for God's sake. You want to have sex with me until you have your fill, then what? Throw me away when you're done."
He takes a deep breath like he has to cool down. "It wouldn't be throwing away it would be mutual and very satisfactory. You would also have a lot of money to help set yourself up once we're over." He makes it sound so simple. Have sex with the hottest man I've ever seen and get paid loads of money for doing it.
I am attracted to him, my body is on fire when I'm around him. No man has ever turned me on this much by just looking at him but I can't be that girl. I've been used enough through my life
"Look Taylor, it's not gonna happen so I suggest you move on." I have to admit telling him that almost killed me.
"You will end up in my bed one way or the other Nessa. The sooner you accept that eventuality, the quicker the fun can begin."
I stand up and get ready to leave while he looks at me like he's trying to figure me out.
"Whatever. I'm going."
"Sure Nessa, run along. I'll leave you for now but you will be seeing me soon." He emphasis the word soon, like it was a promise.
I turn and walk out with my heart beating so fast in my chest it feels like it's going to explode. I realise this man is definitely not good for my heart.
I spend the rest of the day handing out CV and looking up jobs online. I make it home at about six. When I walk through the door I can smell that Stacey has been cooking and my stomach growls. By the smell of things Stacey made her home made curry. Oh yes! I walk over to sit at the table
"Hey slut, you're home early. How was work?" She turns around to face me.
"I didn't go in," she's says and turns back around.
"Would that have anything to do with the naked dude in the kitchen this morning?" I tease.
"Yeah. Eh sorry about that. I was just wrecked and being the boss, I decided I wanted and extra day off." She sounds like she's trying to convince herself that she can do this job. Poor girl, works herself way too hard.
"It's grand. Thankfully I didn't see too much." I wink and she laughs.
"Awe come on Nessa you're not afraid of a naked man are you?" She jokes.
"No only the ones I'm not expecting to see in the kitchen." She starts laughing again.
"You think that was bad, he comes running back into the room and was like there was a girl and she ran out the front door!"
"Oh my God, didn't you tell him you had a roommate?"
"Well no, with a naked man around I try not to think of you." I chuckle.
Stacey comes to the table hands me a plate and sits down. I take a bite and the flavour of the curry explodes across my tongue.
"Mmm Stacey this is so good."
"Thanks, so how did you get on today?"
"Well I handed in CV everywhere that was looking, so I guess I can only wait now." I really hate waiting, I hope I can get something soon.
"You will be whipped up soon. Don't look so worried." I smile and continue eating. "So what's up with you and Taylor?" Well that is random.
"Nothing. He wants a mistress to pleasure him when he needs it for a short term, then he pays them to move on when he gets bored. I said no." She is quite for a second apparently deep in thought.
"Why not go for it?"
"Seriously? You're as bad as he is." For some reason I feel annoyed she's not on my side.
"Yeah but Nessa you're young, free, and jobless. You will get treated to loads of orgasms and get paid for enjoying it," she says it like it's so simple.
"I can't be used again Stacey. My mother used me as bait to try to bring my father back but after sixteen years she gave up and killed herself. I just wasn't enough for her. And then we have Brandon, he used me till he bleed me dry from every penny I had. So please just drop it, I can't let him use me for sex only to throw me away when he's done."
I'm fuming when I'm done and Stacey looks a little shocked. I know she knows about my mam but I don't think she realised how deep the cut still was.
"Ok I understand but Ness your mom loved you. Anyone could have seen that."
"Well she sure knew how to show it didn't she. She lets her sixteen year old daughter, whom you say she loved, come home from school to find her in the bath with her wrists sliced." I'm so angry I was shouting at this point and when I look at Stacey she looks shocked. "I'm sorry for shouting," I mutter.
"It's fine, but you obviously still have some issues regarding this and that worries me Nessa. I knew you
were upset with her when you didn't cry at her funeral but I thought you would get past the anger stage and actually grieve, you still haven't and that frightens me." She looks worried. God, why couldn't I keep my trap shut?
"It's been ten years, I'm passed it," I say through gritted teeth. I can't talk about this anymore.
"Ok I won't push but please stop holding all this in talk to me or someone else."
I don't want to fight anymore so I tell her I will think about it and head off to my room. I hate thinking about my mam. The morning she died I heard her on the phone talking to the sperm donor, fighting about how it wasn't fair on her and how it wasn't fair on me and how she couldn't do it without him. They talked on the phone every few months but a few months before her death they talked more. Every time they finished she would go to her room and cry for hours.
I never asked about the sperm donor because he couldn't give a shit about me, but I could tell she had loved him very much. She would try to bring him up in conversation but I'd just wave her off.
Two months before she died she told me his name and I fought with her telling her I didn't care and didn't want to know about him. What she didn't realise was how I hate him more for the hurt he had caused her than for not being there for me. She never got over the fact that he wasn't around or coming back.
I wasn't enough for her, and I wasn't enough for him, and I didn't cry at her funeral nor will I ever cry for any of them because they never spared me a thought.
Thinking of my mother just drains me so I curl up in my bed and think about what the hell I'm going to do next.
FIVE
The next week goes by pretty slowly. Not having a job sucks and I haven't received any offers, which worries me because it's now Friday and the bank will be looking for the next payment and I don't have it.
I decide to ring them and try to explain about my situation and try to get them to give me an extra week to make my next payment. When I get off the phone I'm more confused than ever, as they told me my cards have been paid off. I also have ten thousand euro in my bank account. I told them there is no way but they don't care because the debt is clear.
When I inquired about who paid them they told me an anonymous source. The only person I know with that kind of money is Taylor fucking Kessler. Why the hell would he do it, actually scratch that I know why and I'm gonna kill him. I grab my bag and coat and head down to Kessler enterprises.
When I walk through the door I spot John.
"Hey John."
"Hey Miss Nessa. What has you here today?" he asks but looks worried and he should be.
"Look John, I need a favour."
"Oh Nessa please don't ask me to risk my job." Poor John, but I'm still getting by him.
"I won't. Just look that way for one second."
He looks confused and looks to his left and with that I dart around him and into the elevator then hit the button for the top floor.
When I get there Barbie sees me and trys to step in front of me. Obviously word has gotten to her that I was on my way. Good they should be concerned.
"Don't bother I'm going in there and you're not gonna stop me," I growl at her. While she's considering her options I dart round her and go straight through the big doors.
There are two men in the room, Taylor and Jim the man I met at my interview. It's him who speaks first.
"Miss Donahue you can't be here." He then turns to Taylor. "I'll get security."
Taylor looks at me and I raise my eyebrow at him.
"No, it's fine. Jim could you give us a few minutes, we can continue this later."
"Are you sure?" he asks confused. Taylor gives him that scary look he likes to give which is like the mother of all evil eyes. Poor Jim. He just grabs his things and leaves.
"Nessa, now that you cancelled my appointment care to help me fill the time." He winks.
"You're a pig," I snap at him but he just smiles.
"Yet you can't seem to keep away. Are you stalking me Miss Donahue?" The man is infuriating, I just want to slap him!
"Why did you clear my debt and don't even try to deny it."
"I wasn't going to deny it. Let's just say all the clothes and shoes whatever you bought is on me and feel free to repay me." /the bastard! I'm in shock, seriously what the fuck is he trying to do?
"Shoes and clothes! Are you for real? Do I look like I wear thousands of euro in expensive clothes, you narrow minded prick." He goes to open his mouth but I put my hand up to stop him. "Don't ok, just don't. Just take your damn money back and leave me the hell alone!" I scream the last bit, my emotions are all over the place. I feel like I'm saying it but not meaning it.
"Oh stop being dramatic Nessa and calm down. It's no big deal." Was this man for real?
"No big deal. I just spent the last week leaving CV all over the place not to hear a damn word back, to try and clear a debt I didn't create. All for you to just come swooping in and pay it off and say it's no big deal. I don't want your money and how the hell did you get my account numbers and find out about the debt in the first place?"
"I have money Nessa I can get any anything I want," he says cockily.
I am fuming at this stage. "Well you can't have me, I'm not for God dam sale." I'm practically screaming and his face changes from amusement to anger.
"Fine I get it. I will leave you alone. Now get the hell out of my office!" he shouts back. I wasn't expecting it so I jump with the fright of it and run from his office. Just as I slam the doors behind me a tear slides down my face. I wipe it away quickly and when I look up John is there.
"Come on Nessa, let's get you out of here."
"Oh go to hell the lot of you!" I snap at John and storm past him. I don't mean to take it out on John I'm just fuming.
Once I'm outside I decide I need a drink, I don't care if it's only four o'clock. I head to Fitzsimons.
I greet Joe the bar man and ask for a double jack and coke. When he brings it back I take a big sip.
"Hard day Nessa?"
"Something like that. Just keep them coming please." He just nods and walks off.
I'm struggling to understand why Taylor has this effect on me. I mean I think I hate him but I feel sad at the thought of not seeing him again. It causes my chest to tighten, with that thought I drink more. What is wrong with me? The man has been nasty from the moment I met him yet here I am hurt because he told me to get out. Yup I'm pretty fucked up.
By eight I'm pretty drunk and Joe has cut me off. I decide to head out for some air which probably wasn't my best idea because soon as I hit the air I feel dizzy and fall straight onto my knees. The pain that shoots from them causes me to whimper. My head is a little foggy.
Town is busy tonight there are people everywhere I need to get up but I only end up going from my knees to land on my butt.
"Nessa." Oh it can't be, please it just can't. "Nessa what are you doing down there?" But it seems luck isn't on my side because it is Taylor.
"Leave me alone." I really don't want him to see me like this.
"Let me help you Nessa."
"I'm fine, go away." Just when I think I can't be more embarrassed she comes up to us.
"Taylor stop helping the homeless and come on." She purrs at him. I think I'm gonna be sick.
"Go with your slut Taylor, leave me be." I try to push him away but seriously I can barely lift my arms and I'm slurring pretty badly.
"Who are you calling a slut?" Jeez she's a dumbass too.
"I'd have thought that was obvious." I smirk and look at Taylor and wow there's two of him. "Your standards have dropped." Ha take that!
"Are you going to let some hobo talk to me like that Taylor?"
"Yeah Taylor are you?" I mimic.
"Nessa," Taylor growls as he stands up. He drags his new whore off somewhere and I think, Yes he's gone! But I don't want him gone do I? Considering the pang of jealously that running through me I'd say no. What the hell is wrong with me, why can't I find a nice man who's just nice? I shake
my head I can't like him.
"Can't like who?" Taylor is back. Shit, did I say that out loud? I look around and see no sign of the girl and I smile in victory. "What is that smile on your face about?"
"Nothing. Why are you here, why won't you just go?" He doesn't answer just bends down and picks me up in his arms, like I'm as light as a feather. I have no fight left so I just snuggle into him and close my eyes.
When I awake I'm being put into bed and Taylor is standing over me with a glass of water.
"Drink this Nessa, it will help with the hangover you're sure to have in the morning." He smiles and it's really beautiful when he does that. He sits on the edge of the bed. "What happened Nessa?" he asks as if he gives a shit.
"That's none of your business. I'm just the slut who turned you down. You should have left me back there and gone with your new whore."
"Yeah you looked like you were doing a wonderful job of doing that and she wasn't my whore." He sighs. "And I don't think you're a slut."
"Yeah whatever Taylor. You treat me like one then tell me you don't think I'm one." I'm slurring so bad I don't think he even knows what I'm saying.
"You're drunk Nessa. Sleep and we will talk tomorrow." With that he gets up and leaves. I turn over and a pain shoots through my knees. They are gonna hurt like a bitch tomorrow, I remember thinking just as I drift off.
When I wake the next morning I'm blinded by the light in the room. When I get my eyes open I notice a few things, the room is huge and it's not my room. Where the hell am I?
I look down to see that I am fully clothed. That's got to be a good thing hasn't it? Just when I am starting to freak Taylor walks in the room wearing only a pair of sweatpants low on his waist, his v showing.
Oh lord have mercy on me, this man is just too much. I think I am going to need a fresh pair of panties. Oh good God he has sweat dripping off him and oh man it's such a beautiful sight. My whole body is responding just at the mere sight of him. I also notice a few more tattoos on his chest but before I get a proper look Taylor coughs.
"Close your mouth Nessa, your drooling." Oh shit I been caught.
