by Natalie Reid
“Jessie,” he said softly.
He started to walk over to her, and she felt her blood spike. Before he could erase the space between them, the sound of footsteps down the hall caused him to stop and look towards the door.
“Tom, are you in here?” a familiar voice called out.
Jessie’s heart caught in her throat, and she could do nothing but stand fixed to the spot as Carver appeared in the doorway. When he saw who was standing there in the room, aged by the cold of the outside world, he froze as well. Neither of them moved nor spoke as they stared back at each other, as though seeing the other for the first time.
By Carver’s expression, she figured that Tom must have told him that she knew he was her father. As she stared up at him, she tried to remain strong. She didn’t want her face to betray what she was feeling, but it was hard seeing the same struggle on his own face, even seeing the same nose and chin and tree-bark brown hair and wondering how she had missed it all this time.
Before either of them could say anything, another pair of footsteps hurried down the hall. A second later, Denneck appeared in the doorway. When he caught sight of her, he did not pick up on the exchange between father and daughter. He took several large strides across the room and wrapped his arms around Jessie in a tight hug. She closed her eyes and hugged her sergeant back.
“I’m so glad you’re alright,” he breathed out.
When he pulled away, Denneck noticed stunned and saddened expression on her face. Instead of asking her about it, however, he turned his head towards Carver. The young sergeant immediately pulled away from her, and looked from father to daughter.
“I’m sorry, did I…?” he stuttered in embarrassment.
Carver, much to everyone’s surprise, did not try to hide the emotion on his face. He continued to stare down at Jessie, letting her openly see the effect she had on him—Carver, the man that showed no fear and could discipline his soldiers with the hardest fist; Carver who new recruits hid from and had nightmares about for the first few weeks of training; Carver, the man that was strong enough to spend ten years beside his daughter and never crack or show a single sign of his secret. This was the man that she had been wondering about all her life. This was the other half that made her, yet she realized she didn’t even know him at all.
She didn’t know what to say to him, and he seemed to be suffering from the same problem. Soon Jessie couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted him to at least try to say something; offer her an explanation or an excuse as to why he never told her who he was.
Needing to end the silence, she asked the first question that popped into her head. “What is this place?”
She had wanted to draw attention away from her and Carver, but she realized she chose the wrong question as Carver answered her, saying, “It was my brother’s house. It belongs to me now.”
When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and weak, as if he had just been talking a great deal instead of standing there in dumbfound silence.
She turned to look at the bookcase once more. She couldn’t believe that all of this was his. It was something she could imagine her mother treasuring, diligently going through each book and…
Suddenly Jessie stiffened. She stared at the bookcase and felt the worries and emotions of a three-day old human come flooding back to her.
“Is something wrong?” Denneck asked, stepping to the side to get a look at her face.
She ignored his question and dug her hand in her pocket, pulling out her mother’s Sakana. Though she kept the paper fish closed, she remembered the words that were written inside as if they were inscribed on her eye-lids and appeared to her every time she closed her eyes. The secret of the Aero Complex lies in your Father’s Book. Find it on the day I first loved you.
She took a step towards the bookcase, whispering, “Find it on the day I first loved you.”
“What are you talking about?” Denneck asked, concerned.
“My, my mom,” she said in a half-audible whisper. “She gave me a message before she was taken away. She told me that the secret of the Aero Complex lied in my father’s book. She said: find it on the day I first loved you.” She turned to look at Carver, asking, “Do you know what book she was talking about?”
Carver’s face twisted in a sign of apology. “Sarah never told me about a book. I know she said she suffered from the Aero Complex a lot, but that was all.”
Jessie turned back to the bookcase, determined to figure it out despite his answer. She was so close after all this time. For countless nights she went over the words of her mom’s message in her head, wondering what it could mean, if there was a secret message hidden inside the words somewhere. As she scanned the books on the shelves now, she was sure she was looking at the right book. She just had to figure out which one.
“The day she first loved you,” Tom stated from behind her. “Could she mean to look for it on your birthday?”
“December 22nd is still weeks away,” Carver said.
“No, that’s not what I meant.” Tom walked up beside Jessie to inspect the bookcase. “Look,” he said, pointing to the different compartments of shelves. “The bookcase is divided in two, with six rows of shelves in each half. That means there are twelve sections in total. It could stand for the twelve months of the year. And the books on the shelves could stand for the days.”
“That’s…” her face brightened as she touched a hand to a book and counted the rows herself. “That’s brilliant!” She crouched down to the ground and looked at the last row of books, saying, “That would make this row December.”
She began counting down the books, trying to get to twenty two, but her face fell as she reached the number eighteen, and the books stopped.
“I don’t understand,” she whispered. “That had to be it.”
Jessie stood up from the floor and gripped her forehead in her hands. She tried to go back ten years to the conversation she had with Ual when he had given her the Sakana. Her memory was sharp, her mom trained it to be that way, and the military furthered that training. But remembering the exact words of a conversation she had when she was a three-day-old human was more of a challenge. Before she could grasp hold of anything she thought might explain things, Carver spoke up.
“The Spring Parade,” he whispered in slow realization.
Her eyes met his in hope, begging him to continue.
His face glazed over as the memory played in his mind. “There was a pink streamer still stuck to that window from when the parade passed us by.” He pointed to the small window to their right. “I could still hear the music in the distance. That was when she told me she was pregnant with you. I had never seen her so happy.”
“But,” she stuttered in confusion.
“The day she knew you existed,” Carver continued. “That’s the day you’re looking for. March twenty-fifth.”
She blinked down hard and took a deep breath as she reached her hand up for the third row of books. Slowly counting out twenty five books, her finger came to rest on one with a pure, black binding. Her hand felt weak and numb as she slid the book from its spot, almost as if her skin and bones had fallen asleep. She turned it over gingerly in her hands and studied it carefully. There were no markings on it, no title. Just a plain, black book. Yet it felt so heavy in her hands. She knew it was important. She could feel it in the tingle of the book binding against her fingertips.
She gently opened the cover of the book, and had to bite down on her tongue to keep from crying upon discovering what was waiting inside for her. A white paper fish had been folded into the first page of the book. She ran her hand over it, picturing what her mother would have looked like as she turned the paper over in her hands and pressed down the creases. She closed her eyes and imagined that she could still feel her hands on the paper, somehow touching hers through time. She wondered if her mom had done the same thing when she had folded it.
“I can’t believe it,” she breathed out. “I…” she stopped mid-sentence as sh
e turned the page and discovered that the rest of the book had been hollowed out. Cut into the pages was a square hole, and inside was a silver disk. She lifted it out gingerly, and the three men gathered around her to stare at it. She looked past them and over to the computer on the table. It was turned on. All she had to do was place the disk inside.
No one spoke as they waited for whatever information it held to come up on the screen. Jessie tried to quiet her mind. After all this time, thinking that it was a book she had to find; it was a shock to discover that the message had not been entirely honest.
Before anything came up on screen, she could hear something coming from the speakers. A soft melody. The gentle keys of a piano and the soulful strings of a violin and cello. She stared at the holes of the speaker, wanting them to speak back to her and explain this. Why would her mom place such importance on a song? How could it hold the secrets of the Aero Complex? Sure it was beautiful, but why protect it?
And then she heard singing. Children’s voices. Children that had probably lived before Potentians even existed. They were singing something so obviously poignant and beautiful, but Jessie could not understand a word. The song filled the room with a melancholy tune, but she found it all the more sad because the words being spoken, the words her mother wanted her to hear, where in English.
Quickly she turned to Tom, hoping that he might understand the dead language, but he shook his head sadly. Denneck and Carver both tilted their heads down in silent defeat as well.
When the song was over, she calmly took the disk out. She was determined not to be angry at her mom for not teaching her English. There had to be a reason things were the way they were. Her mom was just counting on her to be smart enough to figure it out. This wasn’t the end, she told herself. She would find a way to understand this song.
Turning to Tom, she extended the CD to him. “Will you guard this for me?” she asked. “Don’t ever let it out of your sight. I can’t take it where I’m going, and I’d feel better if I knew you were looking after it.”
“Of course,” he said, carefully accepting it.
“I have to leave now,” she said, addressing Tom still. “I’ll be back in five days. Please don’t leave this house. Do anything you can to stay safe.” When he nodded to her, she turned and looked between Denneck and Carver. “Be careful about leaving the air-base,” she warned them. “Ritter knows you’ve been trying to help me.”
“How do you—” Denneck started to ask, but she stopped him.
“Don’t ask me how.”
He nodded. “Trid’s been practically unlivable up at home,” he said, trying to lighten the room, though it did nothing in the way of lightening the load that Jessie was already carrying. “He keeps insisting that the government set you up. It’s been hard not to tell him what we’re doing. But you know how he is; He can’t keep a secret.”
She laughed softly, but then grew serious as she asked, “How’s Aaron?” From the corner of her eye, she could see Tom’s gaze fall to his shoes.
Denneck’s face darkened. “He’s taken it a lot harder. I think, with what happened to his mom…”
“He thinks I really am a Bandit,” she finished for him sadly.
“I’m sorry Jessie,” he offered, his shoulders falling in defeat.
She gulped and shook her head. “I can’t thank all of you enough for what you’re sacrificing for me.” She looked to Denneck and Tom, careful not to look Carver in the eye. “I can’t help but feel I don’t deserve it.” Denneck started to object, but she stopped him, saying, “I know it was you that took my body to BLES and begged the doctor’s there to save me. I know everything you’ve done for me. But, when the time comes, you have to let me save you. I won’t cheat death a second time if it means you have to sacrifice anymore.”
“What are you saying?” he demanded. “Is there something you’re not telling us?”
She shook her head. “No. It, it would just make me feel better if you promised.”
“Well it wouldn’t make me feel better!”
She looked up at her sergeant with pleading eyes, and his expression softened. He stepped towards her and gave her another hug. When they pulled away, she turned to Tom. His eyes seemed to beg with her not to go, but his mouth remained shut, careful not to voice anything he was feeling. Before she could get lost in his gaze, she turned to look at Carver. She still didn’t know what to say to him, and so for several moments they stared at each other, both sharing in the misfortune of their situation and their longing for the woman named Sarah.
With a final goodbye, she exited the same way she came, so that a few seconds later she was no more than a lingering memory in the room, and an empty spot on the floor between three desolate men.
Chapter 13
No Room for Imagination
Harper could tell by the sound of the voices in the other room that the soldier they had been looking for had returned. She thought about going over so she could finally meet this girl she had been working so hard to help. She had searched every database she could find for proof of her innocence, rifled her brain of every idea on how to get the message out there. She felt she deserved to at least meet this girl so she could know one of the people behind her miraculous journey to safety.
But, as she heard the muffled voices coming through the walls, charged with the emotion of familiarity and affection, she realized there was no place for her in that room. Even her own cousin didn’t know her as well as he seemed to know this girl. Yes, Harper had earned her place in this operation, had earned a spot in this west-end house, but there was no space for her in that room, no feeling of love that connected her with those people.
With a heavy sigh, she sat down on the bed in the guest room she had been sleeping in for the past week or so. Her fingers itched and longed for the phone on her tablet, but Denneck had made her destroy it before they entered the house, reminding her that if she was able to hack into the phones to discover someone’s location, then the government could certainly do the same to her.
At the time, she had willing complied—smashed her tablet under her boot and felt the thrill of rebellion and mystery filling up inside of her. She hadn’t realized that her life was about to drastically change, hadn’t understood how much she would have to give up, and how, once she smashed her tablet, there was no turning back.
It felt like such a long time ago since she had been inside her apartment and had seen her best friend. The words of her last conversation with Griffin still stung in her head, and every quiet moment she got, she wondered what he was doing. She imagined him wandering the streets looking for her, wondering why his best friend in the whole world wasn’t returning his calls or coming back home. Then she would feel guilty and instead imagine Griffin with Melissa, laughing and riding on their bike and not even noticing that she had been gone this whole time.
While she was working, she managed to put these thoughts aside, but every time she looked up from her computer, she was reminded of Griffin. This was his parent’s home, the home that was meant for him. The couch, the chairs, the statue out front, the bookcase, even the very bed she slept on—all of it had been meant for Griffin.
Harper especially thought of the bookcase in the other room and wondered if Griffin knew that all those books had once been intended for him. She knew him—had teased him about all the old manuals that he read at work and begged him to say phrases to her in English and any other language he had picked up. She remembered throwing an old book that he had been reading across the room so that he would come outside and get into trouble with her, break into the junk yard or sneak around the basement of their building to go steal metal pipe for making inventions. If Griffin ever knew that a whole bookcase of actual mint condition books from before the Contamination was waiting for him, she knew he would be ecstatic.
Suddenly an idea struck her, and she got up to place her ear next to the wall. They were still talking in the next room. They wouldn’t hear if she left.
Harper took a tentative step into the hall and looked to her left towards the door to the study. The floorboards under her feet creaked, but no one came out to investigate. She took another step. Then another. When she reached the stairs, she began to run, padding down with light and hurried steps. Quietly she opened the door and slipped out. She held her breath as she closed it behind her, listening for any sound inside that would tell her that Denneck or the grim looking Lieutenant that also happened to be Griffin’s uncle had discovered her leaving.
When she didn’t hear anything, she stepped away from the door. To her side she saw the statue of the Griffin. Denneck had informed her once that inside its beak was a hole that contained keys to the house should she ever need it. She planned to use that to sneak back inside, hopefully avoiding any detection that she had ever left. And there was another thing Griffin would be excited about, she realized. There was a statue that he was named after. How cool was it to have a statue in your namesake!
Hitting the main streets of the city, Harper began to head north towards her old apartment. It was late and probably not the best time to be out on the streets, but she figured Griffin would only appreciate her returning all the more. By now he would have probably realized that Melissa was not the girl he imagined her to be, and would need a buddy to help him cope.
Just a few blocks separated her from a reunion with her friend, when she spotted the bike of a Task Force agent. For a brief moment she thought it might have been Griffin, and began to call out to him. Then she realized that the man on the bike was too big to be her scrawny friend, and immediately stopped herself.
It was too late. The agent on the bike had looked over, and Harper had to dash into the shadows of a nearby building.
She stayed there for several minutes, hoping the agent would decide to move away. She knew what could happen to her if the agent chose to pursue her. When she finally gained the courage to peek back out onto the street, she found that the man on the bike was not there. The two holes on his bike would be glowing blue in the dark, and would be easy to spot, but they were nowhere to be seen. That gave Harper a little comfort, but the whole experience spooked her too much to continue on. The agent could be up the next block where her apartment was, and she couldn’t risk being found out a second time.
