by Natalie Reid
She shut her eyes and gripped the bridge of her nose. The brave face that she tried to put on was slipping. Before Ritter could notice what was happening with her, could see that he was right when he said that Carver was even worse than him, she turned around and started heading for the cabin.
Inside she found Harper bugging Tom with another retelling of a dream she had, and over in the main room Griffin had his head buried in the book that Carver had given him. She tried to sneak past them unnoticed and slip down the hallway. When she made it to the back room, she shut the door and rushed over to the table in the corner. After she downed several bottles of water, she cast one of them to the ground and stared at herself in the mirror that hung on the wall.
Today she was ten human years old. That meant she had lived twenty-two years of life. When she was little, she never imagined that this was what she would look like on her twenty-second birthday. The scar going down her face was not as red as before, but it was still visible, and her eye looked darker than ever. She felt as if half of her was no longer hers. Her eye, her lung, her heart. These things weren’t the same as when she was younger. She was not the same girl that had been held by her mother ten years ago…Inside and out, she was not the same.
She reached her hand into her pocket and pulled out a paper from inside. At first she thought it was her mother’s Sakana, but when she took it out, she realized that it was Ben’s drawing of the finch. It was the only reminder she had left of him; the only thing that she could hold up and say that once a boy named Ben existed, once he brought the beautiful image of a bird into the world and made it come to life.
There was a soft knock on the door, and she stuffed the drawing back into her pocket. Taking in a deep breath, she ran a hand through her hair before calling out, “Come in.”
Griffin’s head poked through, and he stared out at her apologetically, as if he had been the cause for her current state.
“You okay?” he asked, taking a step in and quickly setting the book Carver had given him on the table.
“Yeah,” she breathed out, slowly lowering herself to the ground and resting her back against the wall.
Griffin glanced back at the door behind him, and then took a seat next to her. They were quiet for a minute as she stared down at the nicks and scratches on her knuckles that she had gotten while climbing up the mountain, and he fiddled with a loose string that had unwound itself from the hem of his jacket sleeve.
Between them sat a sheet of paper. Jessie had taken it out earlier that day in an attempt to remember the codes, but all it said was: 4. Griffin looked down to the paper and tweaked his head so he could read it.
“Four,” he said.
She nodded her head. “Yep. Four.”
“Hmm.”
Suddenly Jessie couldn’t help herself. Her shoulders started shaking and she began laughing. Griffin started chuckling as well, and soon they were laughing so hard that no sound was even coming out.
When Griffin could finally compose himself, he pointed to the paper, saying, “You’ve done it! You cracked the keys to the city! Doors are just going to fly open for you now!”
Her head hit the wall as she laughed, and he leaned his shoulder against hers to give himself support.
“Who would have thought,” he continued, “that all this time, all we needed was just f-f-f…” he couldn’t finish his last word as he broke out giggling again.
“Oh, it’s sooo not funny,” she breathed out, still trying to fight off another fit of laughter in order to catch her breath. But one look at her cousin’s face, and she started up again.
It took several moments for the pair to compose themselves, but when they did, it was as if the worries and troubles they had momentarily forgotten came crashing back down on them with a vengeance. Silence took hold of them once more, and what had seemed funny just moments ago was now terribly tragic and infuriating.
“I don’t know if you know this,” Griffin said, finally breaking the silence, “but my dad and your mom used to be friends. They were both in the Expedition Branch together.”
He stared down at the lose string on his jacket sleeve and pinched it between his two thumbs like a child might do with a blade of grass. Jessie turned to face her cousin and stared back at him, ready to listen.
“I don’t really know too much else,” he said. “When a man told me that a woman named Sarah had befriended my dad, I had no idea at the time that it was my aunt he was talking about. If I did, I would have,” he shrugged and shook his head, “I don’t know, pressed him for more information.”
“Hey, Griffin?” she asked softly, curling and unfurling her fingers away from her palm. “Do you ever wonder what brought us to that courtyard at the exact same time?”
“Dumb luck,” he said. Then he laughed, adding, “The several dozen Task Force agents on our tails might have also had something to do with it.”
She smiled and continued to stare at her lap. “Don’t you think it’s strange that we wouldn’t have known the other existed if we hadn’t run into each other like that?”
“Wait! You didn’t know I existed? I know Uncle Carver didn’t tell me about you, but I thought he would have told you about me.”
She looked over at him solemnly. “That’s because you don’t have the full picture. See, I had no idea that Carver was my dad until about a month ago. Before that, he was just my lieutenant.”
He stared at her in subdued shock, and then looked over to the book he had placed on the desk. “Why didn’t he say anything?”
She slowly blinked her eyes and let her head rest against the wall. “Probably for the same reason he isn’t coming down today. He’s scared, or he doesn’t want to have to deal with me.”
“What’s today?” he cut in.
She glanced over and gave him a sad smile.
“Oh,” he said in solemn understanding. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” she whispered. “I’m used to it. Besides, this birthday wasn’t half bad. And hey,” she said, bumping him on the arm and trying to cheer herself up. “It’s the first time since my mom was taken that I’m spending it with a family member.”
Griffin laughed. “Yeah, cause I’m such great company, right?” He had been smiling, but a thought crossed him mind, and his smile faded. “You mind if I tell you something?” he asked carefully. “It’s something that Carver told me, and I think it might help you if you heard it as well.”
She nodded.
“Well, I know when I found out about my dad,” he started, “I felt horrible because I thought it was my fault that he had been killed. And, I don’t know if you feel partly responsible for what happened to your mom, but…” He trailed off and was silent.
The dull murmur of voices came from the living-room, and from the kitchen they could hear the clink of dishes as Tom cleaned their plates from dinner.
“It wasn’t just us, you know,” he finally admitted. “The rule about people in the government not having kids; it wasn’t just that that did it. Carver said there was something else. He didn’t know exactly what it was, but he said that one time, when your mom and my dad had been out on an Expedition Trip, they found something—something that the government didn’t want inside of Aero City. He said that the reason the government dealt with them so harshly was because they had taken this thing and hid it somewhere.”
Suddenly Jessie looked over at him and reached her hand inside her jacket pocket, pulling out her mom’s CD. “I think it was this,” she said, extending it out to him.
His eyes widened and he carefully turned it over in his hands, inspecting it.
“What’s on it?” he asked.
Her shoulders fell and she shook her head. “A song, of all things.”
He scrunched his face. “A song? About what?”
She let out a long sigh. “I don’t know. I couldn’t understand it. It’s in English.”
“Well I speak English,” he offered helpfully.
She froze and her
eyes flew up to his. “What?”
“Yeah, my mom taught me. She said, a few days before my dad died, he had taken her aside and made her promise to teach me English. He said it was important. That it had to stay a secret. I never knew why he wanted me to learn, but I always felt closer to him when I was reading English.”
“My mom gave me a message before she was taken away,” Jessie admitted in a breathless whisper, riddled with anticipation. “It was a map that led me to that CD. When I realized it was in English, I couldn’t understand why she would send me all that way for something I couldn’t even understand, but… now I get it.” She laughed at the realization and shook her head in astonishment. “You and I, Griffin, we’re two halves to the same puzzle. I was given the map, and you were given the decoder.”
Griffin’s eyes widened, and the two cousins both looked over to where Harper’s computer sat at the far end of the room.
Jessie was up to her feet in a second, asking, “Translate it?”
He stood up as well, and was racing over to the computer with the CD in his hands, when suddenly a sound rattled through the cabin.
“Did you hear that?” he asked.
Jessie tilted her head up to the ceiling. “That was a jet engine.” She looked to the door to the room. “They aren’t supposed to be back yet.”
“Maybe your dad decided to make it for your birthday after all.”
She looked between the door and the CD in Griffin’s hands. Then, deciding that the CD could wait a few minutes more, she headed for the door and rushed towards the main room. Griffin followed closely behind her, stuffing the CD in his pocket.
When they made it to the front room, they found that everyone had gathered there as well, having heard the sound of the plane landing. Jessie stood stationary in the hallway entrance, staring at the front door as they waited for someone to come through.
A minute passed by in silent tension. Then the handle moved as a key was placed inside. Everyone held their breath. When the door swung open, a lone figure stepped inside, silhouetted by the falling night. It took Jessie a moment to realize it was Denneck, looking battle-worn and fueled with a sense of urgency.
“What is it?” she asked anxiously, crossing the expanse of the living-room in a few quick strides. “Did something happen?”
Denneck reached for her hand and gave her a somber look, as if apologizing for what he had to say next. “They know who your dad is. I don’t know how they found out but… I’m sorry, Jessie. They’ve taken him.”
“What?” she breathed out. “How?”
“We were at the air-base when Task Force showed up. A few agents tried to arrest Carver, and some of our soldiers started getting angry. One of them hit an agent, and they tried to arrest him and a few of the others. That got our boys even more worked up. In the chaos they managed to take Carver away. But,” he shook his head. “It’s a mess up there. Now Task Force won’t leave, claiming they have a right to take away the soldiers that hit them, and it’s like a stand-off between our two sides. They’ve taken over the hangars and aren’t letting anyone leave the base. I only just managed to escape.”
“We should go now,” Ritter’s cold voice stated from behind. “It’s only a matter of time before they get our plan out of him.”
Anger rose in Jessie at his view of the whole situation, but before she could say anything, Denneck spoke out.
“We can’t go now. We have no way of getting inside the Bank of Social Numbers.”
“Wait! Are we just gonna forget about my dad?” she demanded.
“He’s either dead or they’re trying to extract information from him,” Ritter stated harshly. “That means it’s only a matter of time before he breaks, if he hasn’t already.” As he said this, he walked across the room to stand in front of her. Staring her down, he said, “Forget about your dad. You need to remember those codes, or you’re never going to see your mom again.”
Jessie hardened her jaw as she stared up at him. His words struck at her heart, and she had to blink to keep her tears out. In her mind she saw her dad in a dark room straining for air inside a circle of Task Force agents. She took a shaky breath and tried to force those thoughts out of her head. “I told you, I can’t remember them.”
Ritter lunged out and shoved her in the shoulder. “You better start remembering.”
“Hey!” Tom shouted, rushing over to them.
“Stay out of this, lover-boy,” Ritter said, shoving him away while staring down at Jessie. He took another forceful shove at her shoulder. “I know you know them. Think hard.” He shoved her again, and she stumbled back a few paces.
Having taken enough, Jessie stood her ground and shoved him back. “Hitting me is not helping!”
“Because you’re not thinking!”
He tried to shove her one more time, but Tom got in his way, grabbing onto his arm. Ritter looked over to him in tired annoyance, seized the top part of his arm, and sent him crashing to the floor.
“That’s enough!” Denneck shouted, coming over to subdue Ritter as Jessie bent down to check on Tom.
Tom shook his head out of a daze and winced as he tried to use his elbows to lift himself up. Jessie gently reached out for him, gradually easing him to his feet.
“Hey, I’m just trying to help!” Ritter defended. “If she can’t remember the codes, then we’ve got nothing!”
“We had nothing without her in the first place,” Denneck said. “She’s the only reason we have half a shot at getting up there.”
The fire cracked in the hearth and a stray ember popped out and fell on the floor. The inhabitants of the cabin stared at it for a moment, before turning back to each other.
“Look,” Denneck said, speaking first. “We just have to do what Carver suggested and find another way in.”
“So we’re not even going to try and find him?” Jessie asked, weakness cracking her voice.
“Hey, it’s him or your mom,” Ritter said with a shrug. “You can’t save ‘em both. But if you want my help, you’re only gonna get it if we go for the latter.”
“You know what they could be doing to him,” she said in a low whisper.
Ritter lowered his voice to a taunting whisper, saying, “And I thought you didn’t care.”
She was about to take a swing at him, when Denneck grabbed her arm and held her back.
“Now, it’s late and we’re all tired,” he said, trying to keep the peace. “I know we have to act quickly, but we aren’t going to do anyone any good if we start fighting each other. So let’s just calm down and be quiet a while so we can think.”
“That’s you’re solution?” Ritter huffed. “A time out?”
“Hey, if it gets you to shut your face, I think it’s a pretty good one.”
“Say that again pretty-boy,” he challenged.
Denneck let go of Jessie to stand up to Ritter, when a voice drew their attention away from each other.
“What’s going on?” Nel asked from the entrance to the hallway. “Why is everyone shouting?”
Ritter’s face fell and he stepped away from Denneck.
Griffin promptly walked over to her, putting an arm around her shoulder. He led her over to the couch so he could try to explain the situation as gently as possible. For a few minutes, his remorseful and pinched voice was the only sound that filled the cabin.
However, as he was speaking, a sense of urgency was building up inside of Jessie until she couldn’t take it anymore. Going over to Tom, she whispered in his ear, “I need to go somewhere.”
He pulled back and gave her a look of concern.
“Don’t worry,” she added. “I’ll be back soon.”
As Jessie walked through the streets of Aero City, the wind blew extra harsh, acting as a knife to cut away the thick and muddling daze that threatened to take over her head. Her legs moved like a plane on auto-pilot. She had done this nearly every night; walked this path. At first it had seemed like she couldn’t help it, like it wasn’t even her w
ill. Now she knew exactly where she was going and what she had to do.
When she reached the apartment on the east-end, she climbed up to the window. It was open, like it always had been for the past few weeks despite the intensity of the winter cold. When she climbed inside, she could see Katherine lying in bed. Her covers had been thrown off, and her face looked deathly pale.
“Every night I don’t think you’ll come back,” the older woman said through a raspy voice. “And every night you do.” Her body curled into itself and she whispered in a tormented voice, “Please just let me go.”
Jessie hurried over to her side and squeezed her hand. “No,” she choked out. She searched Katherine’s blue, defeated eyes, and tried to find the light of her son inside them. “Ben wouldn’t want this for you. You don’t get to just give up!”
“Don’t I?” she whispered. “I thought that’s what I had already done. That black figure in the corner is proof. It watches me every night and won’t go until it gets what it wants.” Her head moved about and her eyes glazed as if in a blind fever. “You should kill me before that happens.”
“No! You are alive!” she urged, grabbing ahold of Katherine’s other hand and raising it to her face. “You’re not gone yet.”
Katherine’s gaze rose to the ceiling and stared blankly at it. “You know,” she stated. “You know what I did. How can you say that?”
In her mind, Jessie could see Ben’s face. She could see him gasping for breath and dying in front of her. She couldn’t watch his mother die as well.
“I knew your son while he was alive,” she admitted. “And he was the most wonderful little boy I had ever known. And I wanted to hate you for what you did to him.” Jessie drew her hand away to wipe off a tear on her cheek, but she returned her hand in an instant and continued. “And I thought that only the worst kind of person could abandon their boy like that. But then I realized that Ben was the way he was because you raised him to be.” She sniffed sharply and blinked her eyes to clear them. “So you couldn’t be all bad.”
