by Adam Hall
'Can they do it?' I asked Pepperidge.
'They'll try.'
'All right, and then I'll need an rdv, say about fourteen hundred. Where?'
'You tell me.'
The only place I knew was the one I'd been to with Su-May Wang, so I told him where it was. I didn't want to go to his hotel more often than I had to; it's always dangerous to establish patterns.
'I'll be there,' he said. He sounded relaxed, quietly cheerful, though he must be working out the signal to London: any kind of major action had to go on the board, and this involved a death, the fourth of Bamboo.
'For now,' I told him, 'you need this: they were watching every source of insulin in Lhasa, and this man tagged me, so it looks as if they either suspect or know that the subject is here in the town.'
Short silence; it had rocked him, of course. 'How did that happen?'
'I think I know. But we'll talk about it later. I've got to go now.'
'Fourteen hundred,' he said and rang off and I went out to the taxi.
'Where go?'
Told him north, I'd show him the way, got out some money, quite a lot. 'Go very quick, understand?'
The apothecary had given me a dozen new needles, 23-gauge one-inch Becton Dickinsons, and I pulled one off the strip and fitted it to the syringe.
'You feel all right?'
'Yes,' Xingyu said. 'But I was worried.'
'I got delayed.' Drew five cubic centimeters out of the ampoule, pressed out the air. I didn't tell him he could save saved his worries if he'd just let me know he was out of insulin a bit sooner.
'You do not look well,' he said.
'Touch of indigestion.' Pulled the plunger, got no blood, put pressure on it.
Everything had become very clear, sensitive. Head was throbbing and I was still out of breath from climbing the ladder, but even in the light from the dirty windows things had a sharp outline and I could hear one of the monks chanting three floors below and could feel the plunger hit bottom before I pulled the needle out. Mental clarity was back too, heightened, the dance of conscious thought quick and coloured.
Put the plastic sheath back on the needle and dropped it into the waste box, pressed the cap on the syringe, everything orderly, the blood singing quietly through the veins, the beat of the heart strong and steady, vital signs, the vital signs that had come so close to getting cut off down there in the temple, and this was it, what it meant, this feeling of heightened awareness, I've had it before, it comes as a revelation when you realize that life is going on and not without you as you thought it must, were certain it would, the reek of cordite in the lungs and the crash of the last shot still roaring in the brain, the certainty of oblivion in the next breath and then the reprieve. It leaves you exalted for a little time, touched with grace.
I put the box in the corner of the cell, underneath the pile of hides that Jiang had given us for extra warmth at night. 'You know where it is,' I told Xingyu. 'If I'm absent at any time, remember where the stuff is, and do it yourself.'
Exalted, touched with grace, but touched also with the guilt when the struggle has been to the death, though we mustn't put it too dramatically, must we, but that was what it had been today, and the loser loses all, lying there in the dark with a rat's carcass his fellow traveller to the shades of Lethe, I can never take a life without adding it to the little wooden crosses in the shadows of the mind, of the memory, I'm never free of them, never shall be.
'What is that smell?' Xingyu Baibing asked me.
'Antiseptic. Where did you put your mask?'
He finished buckling his belt and went across to a part of the wall where the plaster had broken away and left a hole that he'd covered with a bit of loose timber.. 'In here.'
He stood with his arms hanging by his sides, head turned to look at me, something in his eyes asking for my approval, and I was moved and it caught me unawares because nothing much can ever get through the scaly carapace of this man's soul, moved by his attempt to play the espion, hiding things away, making my life easier.
'A good place,' I said. 'I'd never think to look there.'
'I washed it.'
'And dried it completely?'
'Yes. The Japanese gave instructions.'
I went and sat down, my back against the wall. 'We need to talk, Dr Xingyu.'
'Very well.'
He squatted on the floor with his legs drawn up, the light catching his glasses as he looked at me. The chanting rose from below, many voices now, surrealistic m this great shadowed ruin, the voicing of lost souls.
'In the town,' I said, 'I found out that the KCCPC suspect that you're here in Lhasa.' I didn't tell him that when the body was found in the temple they'd know for certain. But it might not happen before we flew this man 10 Beijing. 'Can you think why?'
He went on watching me for a time, and then looked down.
'I mentioned it,' he said.
I didn't say anything for a moment. My tone would have to be perfectly normal when I spoke again, with no anger in it, no frustration. He was an astrophysicist, not an intelligence agent; he was also a man, by reputation, to say what was on his mind, even to the chiefs of government.
'When did you mention it?'
'When I was in the British embassy in Beijing.'
It had been the only answer I could think of, when I'd known they were watching the sources for insulin, the KCCPC. I was certain we'd reached the airport at Gonggar clean, and that we hadn't been followed, Xingyu and I, into the town: I'd checked thoroughly for surveillance. I'd even thought that one of the Chinese agents who'd seen the snatch outside the terminal in Hong Kong might have recognized me when we went through there later, on our way out to Chengdu; but if that had happened they'd have seized Xingyu on the spot. They hadn't known. We'd pulled it off, Pepperidge and I, we'd got Xingyu Baibing through a whole regiment of the KCCPC and into Lhasa, clean. But he'd brought his own seed of destruction with him, like a bacillus in the blood.
You told someone you might come here, if the Chinese allowed you to leave the embassy?"
It was easier for him if I gave him questions, easier than having to tell me direct. He knew now what he'd done.
'Yes.'
'Who was it? Who did you tell?'
'One of the embassy staff. I think his name was Fellows.'
A first secretary: they'd given me a list of people at the embassy when I'd gone through Clearance. Fellows was down as totally reliable; they all were, except for two counsellors, Murray and Sleight, whose backgrounds were less well documented.
'Fellows,' I said, 'didn't give you away. Was there anyone else there at the time?'
He took a little while. 'Yes. We were in the cafeteria.' Spreading his hands, 'I was just talking, that was all.'
And hadn't known that when you're talking about something sensitive you've got to make bloody sure you know who you're talking to and that there's nobody else around. He wasn't an espion, that was the trouble with this man, he wasn't one of us; he was just a normal human being with a brilliant reputation in science instead of secret intelligence and that was why he'd walked straight into the trap in Chengdu and I'd had to get him out again by giving him Bamboo, chapter and verse, filling his head with stuff that was going to blow us all into Christendom if they found him and put him under the light, and that was why he'd brought those KCCPC agents into Lhasa on our track, a whole cadre of them, specialists, assigned specifically to hunt him down and throw him into a cell and get all that stuff out of his head, finis, finito.
'You were "just talking,"' I said.
I hadn't meant to say it, hadn't meant it to sound like that; I was furious, that was all. No excuse.
'But of course.' He'd raised his voice.
'Never mind, let it go. It wasn't Fellows, but someone else must have overheard it and passed it on, maybe not even seeing the danger. It's too late now, so don't worry about it. But you've-'
'How do you know the KCCPC think I am in Lhasa? How do you know that?'
<
br /> Gray light flashing across his glasses as he bent forward toward me. Furious too, furious with me, for Christ's sale.
'I told you, don't worry. The thing-'
'But you do not answer my question. You wish to accuse me of doing something wrong, but you will not answer my question. That is unjust.'
Characteristic of the man: he'd ranted and raved about 'justice to the Chinese government until they'd chased Mm into the embassy.
'Dr Xingyu, the important thing for you to remember-'
'My question! My question!'
'Keep your voice down, for God's sake, don't you realize-'
'Answer my question,' hissing it out now, 'and tell me why you think the KCCPC-'
'Because they were watching every single place where you can buy insulin — doesn't that answer your question?'
I came away from the wall and got on my knees to face him, close as I could, to stop him raising his voice again.
'How do you know they were watching?'
Patience, God give me patience. 'Because one of them followed me.'
'Perhaps you believed he was following you. You are always suspicious, because you are an intelligence officer, and you therefore believe-'
'Dr Xingyu,' I leaned closer, 'I was followed by a KCCPC agent and I led him into cover and when he tried to shoot me I killed him with my bare hands. Now will you understand that we are not playing games?'
In a moment- 'You killed him?'
'Yes.'
'That is terrible.'
'Taking a life is always terrible, yes, but if this man had overpowered me I would have been taken to a cell and tortured until I told them where you are, and they would have come here for you. Now will you understand why we have to do things that are sometimes terrible? You must get a perspective on this.'
He said nothing.
I sat kneeling, as he was. We faced each other in the gray light from the windows, looking, I suppose, like two monks at their prayers.
In a moment I said, 'Your life is in danger, Dr Xingyu, every minute. You must understand that. My government has committed me to protect you and defend you until you can go back to Beijing in a few days and lead your people toward the new democratic government that is their most fervent dream, and if you can bring perspective to bear, you'll see that the death of one junior officer of an organization that is the most ruthless enemy of the people was necessary. Terrible, but necessary.'
After a time he raised his head and looked at me. 'I am not very helpful to you, am I?'
'You're not trained in the field, that's all.'
'I am not used to violence.'
'Not personally, no. But you can remember the violence in Tiananmen Square. Those are the people you have to fight. You have a reputation for being among the first to man the barricades, and you've got to understand that you're there again now — these are the barricades.'
In a moment, 'Yes. I understand that.'
'Good. You must also understand that when the KCCPC agent who followed me is reported missing, it's going to look as if someone in fact bought some insulin, and managed to silence the agent. Have you ever used a gun?'
'What for?'
'Have you ever fired a gun, on a practice range?"
'Of course not.'
His back had straightened. He was indignant.
'Now that you know your life is in danger here, every minute, would you be prepared to fire a gun in your own defence?'
He looked from side to side, into the shadow, confused, hunted. 'No. Of course not!'
'All right. Don't worry about it. But-'
'Did you imagine I would be capable of such a thing?'
'No.'
'Then why did you suggest it?'
'Because at this moment, Dr Xingyu, I'm looking for miracles.'
Stiffly, 'I am afraid I cannot help you.'
In Beijing, if we could ever get him there, he would climb onto the rostrums and face the people and throw them miracles until they were dizzy with them, but here in the burned-out hulk of the monastery he could offer them none, not even the pressure of his finger on a trigger to defend his life, the life of their messiah.
I understood that. I understood. But I could have used a miracle myself; it would have lightened the load.
'Forget I mentioned it, Dr Xingyu. But you've got to do something for me. It would have been far less difficult, as you know, to have taken you out of Hong Kong to safe territory, where your government has no jurisdiction. But you asked us to bring you to Lhasa and we took your point and we agreed. You had friends here, you said. Now this is what you've got to do for me. You've got to trust no one. No one. You must talk to no one, even if you're alone with him, even it it's the abbot himself, or the monk who guards you while I'm away, Bian, especially him, because it's natural that you should want to talk to him — you're not used to being alone, with no companionship.'
They were chanting still, below, and a bell had started tolling, the huge bell that I'd seen in the garden behind here, its mouth two or three feet across with a beam as big as a tree trunk slung on ropes to strike it with, and as its rhythmic booming sounded through the great hollows of this place it made me afraid, I'm not sure why, perhaps it was just the vibration stirring in my body, in my bones, or perhaps it had the semblance of a clock, its beat inexorable as it measured the seconds, bringing us closer to what was to come.
Fatigue, surely. Fatigue and the altitude and the head wound, everything adding up as I knelt there swaying in front of him, in front of Dr Xingyu Baibing.
Yes, I knew him once. We were trying to get him back into Beijing, but they ran us too close…
The great bell boomed in my bones.
Finally he said, 'I will talk to no one.'
'No one. Trust no one.'
'I understand.'
'Do that for me.'
'I will do it for you.' Like a litany, kneeling together.
'Because at any time now,' I told him, 'they're liable to start hunting for you, now they know you're in Lhasa. They've got hundreds of men they can use. They can search- every building, beat every bush.' I was swaying again, and made an effort to straighten up. 'But I can keep you hidden, Dr Xingyu. I've had extensive training and a lot of experience. I can make it extremely difficult for them ever to find you. With luck, impossible.'
The great bell booming.
'But I can't do anything for you,' I said, 'if you take risks, if you put us both in danger by talking. Some of the monks in this place don't even know that you're here: the abbot assured me of that. Only a few know. So don't talk to anyone. Don't trust anyone, whoever he is.'
'I understand.'
The great bell booming in my bones.
I wonder if he does, if he does.
In my bones.
Chapter 15: Drunk
'We couldn't do anything,' Pepperidge said. 'The police were already there.'
My skin crawled.
'What time was that?'
'My chap got there just before noon.' He took another spoonful of soup.
'He was fast,' I said.
'Adequate.'
'New to the field?'
'Oh, no. Been here a year.'
'English?'
'Chinese. How are you feeling?'
'Bit skewed, still. Listen, when you debriefed him, did he say how long he thought the police had been there when he turned up?'
'He said not long. They hadn't brought the body out.'
'How long did he stay?'
'A good hour. He was in a Jeifang, made out-'
'What's that?'
'Sorry — truck, big as a dinosaur, always breaking down, so it was good enough cover, he had the bonnet up, got some spanners out.'
'He's Bureau?'
'Yes. Reports to Hong Kong.' His yellow eyes were on me suddenly. 'You're active, are you?'
'Call it eighty percent.' He hadn't been satisfied when I'd told him I was a bit skewed. I shouldn't have done that, got to play by the book, and the
book says the shadow executive has to give his director in the field his exact condition when asked for. All right, say eighty percent. Fully active would mean I was fit enough to do anything at all, nothing barred, run a mile flat out or swim submerged or deal with any sort of attack and defeat it and get clear. I couldn't do that, not as I felt now: the head was still a degree dizzy and I could feel the effect of the altitude in the lungs.
'Look,' I said, 'they couldn't have got onto it that fast, I mean from their end.' They couldn't in other words have put down that agent as missing and started a search for him and found him at the temple: there hadn't been time. 'Someone must have heard the shots and reported it.'
Pepperidge was quiet for a moment. The inference was there all right and it gave me the creeps: if anyone had heard those shots they could have seen me leaving the temple soon afterward, and given the police my description.
'Possible,' Pepperidge said at last.
Two people came in, peasants, slamming the door, and it reached my nerves. 'It's not very good,' I said, 'is it?'
'Not very.' Spooned some soup. 'Nil desperandum.'
Easy to say. The KCCPC had suspected that Xingyu Baibing was here in Lhasa because he'd blown it at the embassy in Beijing, and now they'd found that body it wouldn't be long before they identified it even though I'd made a gesture and changed coats and taken his papers, and they'd check their assignment roster and find that the agent posted on watch at the apothecary's wasn't there anymore and that'd be all they'd need.
'How did you do it?' Pepperidge asked me. The agent?'
This was for Norfolk, for the new recruits. 'I broke the thyroid cartilage with a half-fist, immediate internal hemorrhage.'
'He had a gun?'
'Yes.'
'And he fired it.'
'Yes.' He could smell the cordite on me.
'How much light was there?'
'Not much. Practically dark.'
Tell those poor bloody children at Norfolk to try that one against a loaded gun and they'd get their brains blown out. Don't do as I do, and so forth.
'How did you get here?' Pepperidge asked me.
'There was a tourist bus at the monastery down the road, just starting back.'
He thought about that. 'Who was running it?'
