“Next time I’ll plan a quiet dinner for the three of us, with good food and a better ambiance for talking,” he replied.
Do it now, a little voice whispered in her head. Tell him now before he plans any other dates, before he says anything else about future plans.
“Grant, I need to talk about us,” she began, fumbling for the right words.
He flashed her a quick smile and then returned his attention to the road ahead. “What about us?”
“You’re a wonderful man, Grant,” she began.
There was a moment of silence. “Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound good,” he said, his voice deep and somber. “Especially if you intend to follow that sentence up with the fact that someday I’ll make somebody a wonderful husband, but it’s not going to be with you.”
She drew a deep breath. “That’s exactly what I was going to say next.”
He was silent for several long moments. “Does this have something to do with Nick Benson being back in town?”
She looked at him in surprise. Surely he didn’t know that Nick was Garrett’s father. Nick had found out himself only the night before. “Why would you ask that?”
He shot her another smile, this one tinged with sadness. “You know how the rumor mill works around this town. I heard that you and Garrett and Nick spent some time together this morning at the park.”
“We did,” she admitted. “And I’m sure it won’t be long before you hear that Nick is Garrett’s father, but that has nothing to do with you and me and the decision I’ve come to about us.”
He flashed her a quick glance. “Are you and Nick getting back together?” His voice held a harsh edge that she’d never heard before.
“Absolutely not,” she said firmly. “Although there’s no question we’re going to have to work out some details where Garrett is concerned.”
By this time they had reached her motel. He pulled up and parked the car, but neither of them made a move to get out. “Have I done something wrong?” he asked.
She hated the hurt and the faint anger she heard in his voice and the fact that she had put it there. “No, not at all.” She released a deep sigh. “The problem isn’t you, Grant. It’s me. I care about you, but not in a romantic way. It isn’t fair for me to continue to see you knowing that I don’t have the kinds of feelings for you that would lead to a real relationship.”
He dropped his hands from the steering wheel and held her gaze. “Are you sure those romantic feelings won’t eventually grow with time? Because, I have to tell you, Courtney, what I feel for you is definitely romantic in nature. It’s been all I could do to restrain myself from wrapping you in my arms, from kissing you until you’re breathless whenever I spend time with you.”
Courtney managed to staunch the shudder his words attempted to evoke, and it was at that moment she absolutely knew she was making the right decision.
“I’m sorry, Grant. I wish I felt the same way about you, but I just don’t,” she said softly.
He released a deep sigh. “I guess you can’t force it if it isn’t there. Then I guess we’ll call it a night and we’ll see each other around town.”
He got out of the car, always the gentleman, and opened the back door to get the sleeping Garrett out of his car seat. As he carried Garrett to the door, Courtney fumbled in her purse for her key.
She felt awful, but she knew she’d done the right thing. She unlocked the door and flipped on the light as Grant carried Garrett into the room and set him gently on the bed, then turned to Courtney.
“I wish you happiness, Courtney. I’d hoped you could find it with me,” he said as he walked back toward the door.
“I’d like it if we could remain friends.”
His brown eyes were darker than usual. “I might need a little bit of time for that.” With these words, he turned and went out the door.
With a deep sigh, Courtney closed and locked the door behind him. Alone. She hadn’t felt this utterly alone since the night her parents had kicked her out of their house.
She took Garrett from the bed and gently placed him in the crib. She decided to let him sleep in his shorts and T-shirt and just took off his little shoes and socks.
With him settled for the night, she changed from her slacks and blouse into her nightgown. Breaking a man’s heart was exhausting business, she thought as she turned out the light and then crawled into bed. Especially when that man was nice and respectful and should have been a good match for her.
But it was just what Grant had said. Emotions like love or desire couldn’t be forced. They were either there or they weren’t, and she knew that no amount of dating Grant would have made those kinds of feelings magically appear.
She fell asleep with thoughts of Grant in her head and awakened the next morning after erotic dreams of Nick. She rolled out of bed at dawn and went right into the shower, hoping to scrub the fevered heat of her dreams, of him, from her skin.
For all she knew, Nick had some honey down in Texas whom he’d spent the past two years with, a woman who might eventually wind up here in Grady Gulch. Not that Courtney cared if Nick had been with a thousand women in the past two years.
The way he’d left town, the way he’d left her had forever scarred her heart and soul. There was no room for forgiveness.
It was almost ten when she had Garrett dressed and ready to head to the park to meet Nick for his hour of playtime with his son. She wore the black T-shirt with the yellow words Cowboy Café across the front and a pair of jeans that was considered her uniform.
As she stepped out of her motel room door, she nearly tripped over a rather large box that sat just outside the door. “What the heck,” she muttered. She carried Garrett back into the room and pulled the box inside.
It was a plain, brown packing box, but it had Garrett’s name printed in black marker on the top. She opened the box and stared in surprise at the toys inside. They were all new, expensive and age appropriate. She searched the box to find a card or a note that might tell her who had left them for her son but found nothing.
She had a feeling she knew who they had come from. Grant. Was this some sort of last-ditch effort to get her to change her mind about breaking up with him? Was this a reminder of what Garrett could have, what she could have, if Grant remained in their lives?
If Grant’s intention was to drive her back into his arms, it wouldn’t work. Garrett was happy with the cheap, plastic toys that she could afford to buy him, and she wasn’t about to be seduced with material things back into the arms of a man whom she knew in her heart could never make her happy.
“Bye-bye,” Garrett said as he clung to her leg.
“I know, just a minute,” she replied as she dug her cell phone out of her purse. She quickly punched in Grant’s cell phone number. He would probably be in his office at the bank at this time of the morning.
He answered on the second ring. “Courtney!” His voice held a ray of hope.
“Hi, Grant. I just wanted to thank you for the box of toys, but you know given the circumstances between us that I can’t accept them from you.”
There was a long silence that created a faint anxiety in the pit of her stomach. “Courtney, I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. What toys?”
“You didn’t leave a box of toys for Garrett in front of my motel room door?”
“It wasn’t me. Maybe you have a secret admirer, or maybe it was Nick.” His voice was cool, whispering of the fact that he was hurt and still more than a little angry with her.
“Then I’m sorry I bothered you.” She clicked off with Grant, the feeling of uneasiness rising just a bit. She stared at the box of toys.
“Bye-bye,” Garrett said in obvious impatience.
“Just one more minute,” Courtney said as she called Nick. She couldn’t let it go. She had to know this minute who had given the toys to Garrett. Although Nick was a logical choice, this ninja night drop just didn’t feel like his style.
He answered on the first
ring. “Where are you?” he asked. “I’m waiting at the park.”
“I know, I’m sorry. We’re on our way now. I just need to know one thing. Did you leave a box of toys for Garrett outside the motel room sometime last night or this morning?”
“No, why? Does Garrett need toys?”
“Never mind, I’ll talk to you when I see you in about ten minutes.” She hung up the phone, and the anxiety in the pit of her stomach exploded.
She didn’t like it. She didn’t like it at all. It felt wrong. Garrett would not play with those toys until she found out who had given them to him and why.
As she loaded Garrett into his car seat in the back of her car, she found herself looking around the parking lot, feeling the same kind of prickly sensation that had chased her out of the park the day before, the same sense of panic the night she’d awakened and seen the shadow move outside her window.
Grant had mentioned the possibility of a secret admirer. The very thought churned her stomach. Had Candy thought she had a secret admirer before she wound up dead in the cottage behind the café? What about Shirley? Had she received a gift of some sort from a secret admirer who had then crawled in through her bedroom window and killed her?
Stop it, she commanded herself. Stop thinking crazy. There was absolutely no way to tie an unexpected box of toys with two murdered women. There was no way that the crazy feeling of being watched in the park the other day had anything to do with anything. There was absolutely no reason for her to feel threatened in any way.
And yet she did.
Chapter 7
Nick had awakened on the wrong side of the bed, having dealt with a very drunk Adam for half the night. It had taken him hours to finally get his brother in bed, and now Courtney was late.
He leaned against the side of his pickup, his hat pulled low on his forehead against the morning sun and his foot tapping impatiently as he checked his watch for the third time in the past five minutes.
It was already after ten and she’d only given him an hour with Garrett to begin with. He drew in a breath and released the edge of irritation that had been with him when he’d rolled out of bed. He’d deal with Adam later, for now he just wanted to spend quality time with his son.
What was up with the crazy phone call he’d just received from Courtney about toys for Garrett? If Garrett needed toys then Nick would be glad to get him some. If Garrett needed anything, Nick was all-in for being the provider.
The Bensons had never really had to worry about finances. Their parents had stockpiled money that Sam had invested well after their deaths. Between the crops and the livestock, the ranch was in the black each year.
Not that it mattered, but two years of work and no play in Texas had also provided a fairly healthy bank account for Nick. He knew things had to have been financially tough on Courtney, but now he was here to help share that load.
He stood up straighter as her car pulled into the parking lot. “About time,” he said as he approached the car. She pulled Garrett from his car seat, but instead of greeting the tall man who was his father, Garrett made a beeline for the sandbox, his diapered butt beneath the jean shorts waddling back and forth with each step.
“Guess I know where I stand on his list of priorities,” Nick said with a touch of humor as Courtney pulled the diaper and tote bag out of the backseat.
“Definitely sandbox, Mom and Sophie at this point. But, given time maybe you’ll move into third position,” Courtney replied.
As she started after her son, Nick followed her, trying not to notice how her tight jeans cupped the shape of her butt, how her rich, dark hair swung freely on the top of her shoulders with each step she took.
He knew her hair would smell of vanilla. Jasmine and vanilla were the scents he would always identify with her, and they would always stir a heat of desire in the center of his belly.
He hurried to catch up with Garrett, passing Courtney just behind him. He couldn’t think about her. This was all about a father’s right, about visitation with the son he needed to know, who needed to know him.
“Hey, buddy,” Nick said to Garrett, who looked up and gave him a happy grin.
“Toys,” Garrett said and pointed to the sandbox.
“That’s right. We’re going to play with toys in the sandbox,” Nick agreed. “And speaking of toys.” He waited for Courtney to catch up with them. “What was the phone call about?”
Her green eyes darkened. “When I got ready to walk out the door a little while ago, there was a box with Garrett’s name written on it. Inside were several brand-new, expensive toys. There was no note to indicate who had left them.”
“Probably Hubert,” Nick said, trying to ignore the surprising jab of jealousy that shot through him.
“No, it wasn’t Grant. I called him and asked and he said he didn’t leave anything. And there’s really no reason for him to do something like that, because I broke things off with him last night.”
Nick looked at her sharply. “Why? I thought he was probably the man of your dreams, the well-off, respectable guy who could help you heal things over with your parents.”
“Nothing is going to heal things over with my parents,” she said with a fervency that surprised him. “I don’t want to heal things with my parents, and my breaking up with Grant had nothing to do with that. And it certainly had nothing to do with you.”
They’d reached the sandbox and Garrett stopped at the edge and looked at Courtney expectantly as he obviously needed help stepping over the lip of the sandy play area.
“Here you go, son,” Nick said and gently lifted the boy and placed him in the sandbox. Garrett smiled in delight and tried to grab Nick’s hat.
“Whoa.” Nick dodged the attempt. “Hat,” he said. “This is my hat, but I don’t think I want it filled with sand.”
“Hat.” Garrett parroted. “Toys.”
Courtney placed the sand toys into the box and then took a seat at the nearby picnic table while Nick lowered himself to the side of the sandbox and grabbed one of the shovels to start filling a pail.
Garrett grinned up at him and began to help by using another shovel. For a few minutes the two worked together, and when the pail was full, Nick emptied it and they began the game again.
It was surreal, playing in the sand with his son, a little human being he hadn’t known existed a day before. He marveled at the shape of Garrett’s meaty hands as he filled his bucket, the bright intelligence that sparked in his eyes, and he embraced the laughter that escaped each time Nick emptied the bucket.
“So, why did you break up with Grant?” he finally asked.
“Because I knew that he was looking for more than I could give him. Because I realized it wasn’t fair to lead him on when I didn’t have any real romantic feelings toward him. And just so you know, I’ll repeat it again—it absolutely had nothing to do with you.”
“Didn’t think it did.” Nick should have been ashamed by the sense of satisfaction that swept through him at her words. He knew it was wrong to not want her for himself, but also hate the idea of her being with anyone else.
As Garrett began to cover one of his chubby bare legs with sand, Nick started to cover his other one. Garrett started giggling, and the sound was infectious. Soon Courtney and Nick were laughing as well, and it felt good.
There had been nothing but tension between them since the moment he’d come back into town, and this moment of shared joy with their son filled his heart with a warmth he hadn’t felt since the death of his sister.
It didn’t last long, but as he and Courtney shared a last smile over Garrett’s head, for the first time since returning to Grady Gulch Nick felt as if he was where he belonged.
For just a brief, shining moment, he wanted to go back in time, back before Cherry had died, before he’d left Grady Gulch, back to the time when Courtney had been his.
He wanted to go back to those moments in the old Yates barn when he and Courtney had spun fantasies of love forever and building
a family and supporting one another through good times and bad.
For just a brief moment he wanted it back, he wanted her back, and his need for her filled him up so much that he couldn’t think of anything to say when the laughter finally ended.
He spent the next thirty minutes focused on Garrett, playing in the sand, showing him how to fill the back of the plastic pickup truck with the white grains and then pretend to drive it around the sandbox. Garrett mimicked his actions, grinning at Nick with young pride.
“You like working at the café?” he finally asked to break the silence that had grown between them.
“Actually I do enjoy it,” she replied. “Oh, I don’t like the time I have to spend away from Garrett, but I like the people I work with and I absolutely adore Mary.”
He gave her a quick smile. “Everyone adores Mary. She’s one of the best things that ever happened to Grady Gulch.”
“She’s certainly been good to me. I showed up in the café with a suitcase and a sob story, and she helped me instantly.”
He didn’t want to think about that time in her life, that time when she’d had to have felt so alone.
“Now that I’m here I can make things easier for you,” Nick said. “Maybe you could cut down on some of your hours at the café.”
She shook her head. “I take care of myself. I don’t want you or any man taking care of me.” She raised her chin a notch. “I spent too many years letting my parents take care of me, and in my experience help always comes with strings attached. I’m doing fine, Nick. Garrett and I are doing just fine.”
He looked at her somberly, still fighting the crazy feelings that he knew he shouldn’t be feeling. “But you know that you can come to me for anything you need, anything Garrett might need. I intend to start paying child support immediately. You just tell me what you want, and I’ll pay each month until we work out the custody agreement.”
Her eyes once again darkened, as if she didn’t even want to think about a custody agreement. “Maybe a hundred dollars a month? It would help with the diapers.”
“We’ll make it three hundred a month. I’m sure he’s outgrowing his clothes with each minute that passes, and if he’s like his dad and his uncles, he probably has a healthy appetite. I’ll have a check ready for you tomorrow.”
The Cowboy's Claim Page 8
