The contrast to how it was with Mariah was night and day. She had taken all I had to give and returned it to me tenfold. Even now, she was sitting in bed completely naked, trusting and comfortable with me. Jane had never been easy in her own skin, and I had no idea whether that was a product of the times and her upbringing as an aristocrat, or because she knew on some level that I wasn’t her intended.
It didn’t matter now. It was done and she was gone and I’d made peace with my brother. I may have screwed it all to hell again by sleeping with Mariah, but I’d deal with it. I’d make it right however I could.
Mariah began her story. “Just after lunch, Denys took me to see the other side of the mountain.” She leaned away and looked into my eyes. “I’m not going to tell you unless you swear not to go all commando on Denys. Swear?”
“I swear.” But I was already wondering if he’d done something out of resentment or spite because he was so angry at me.
“You’re lying, Phoenix. I’m serious. Don’t get mad at him and get in a fight, or say something cruel to him. Promise me.”
I wasn’t liking this at all, but my need to know outweighed possible retribution, so I nodded and said, “I promise.”
She meandered through the day, describing everything, including the little cabin where I’d stored all of Jane’s things, which I’d gathered piece by piece over a couple of years after her death. Her parents never noticed. They’d closed up her room and moved on with their lives. When one of the maids boxed up what was left of Jane’s belongings to take to a charity house, I took them all before they ever reached their destination. I put them in the little cabin I’d found in the wilderness, and as time passed, I was drawn back to it, again and again, some kind of penance, I suppose.
I found it odd that the cabin was where Mariah mentally escaped to when things were too much for her mind to handle. She’d never seen it until yesterday. I wondered why, and she said, “I’ll get to that in a while.”
She talked on and I was hanging on every word, feeling bad all over again for Denys, who’d been as hurt by Zee’s cover-up as Zee and I. It was terribly sad and I wished so much it could have been different.
When she got to the part about Eryx taking her, I could no longer sit still. I got up, put on my boxers, then went to build a fire, taking my time, finding comfort in a task I’d done a million times in ten centuries.
By the end of her story, I was reeling. So much to absorb: her nocturnal visits from an angel who turned out to be my mitera, her unprecedented visit to Hell on Earth, Eryx joking with her, Eryx telling her he didn’t rape Jane – and Mariah believed him, Denys completely clueless of what went on while he was banging the barmaid then passing out cold. She’d had the most extraordinary day, yet she sat there and told me all without the slightest hint of upset.
I stood behind the chair in front of the fire and watched the flames lick the split logs. “Why didn’t you tell me last night, Mariah? Why did you let me make love to you? It’s permanent now, and you can never go back.”
“I don’t want to go back.”
I looked across the room at her, sitting in bed, her long dark hair flowing across her shoulders, her hands resting on the covers, her eyes ten shades lighter than they’d been yesterday morning. Her Anabo glow was beginning to show. Was she happy? She was looking at me with that poker face, giving me no hint of what she was thinking or feeling. “You’re stuck with me.”
“I was stuck with you the night I arrived. Why put off the inevitable?”
“You make it sound as if you’re simply resigned to your fate.”
“Oh, come on, Phoenix. Do you want me to tell you I love you madly, deeply, and will as long as I live, which will now be until the end of time? I’ve known you a week. A lot’s happened in that week, but still – it’s a week. Maybe I’ll love you, maybe you’ll love me. Does it matter? We’re friends, and now we’re friends who have sex. Let’s just let it be and carry on.” She slid further back against the pillows. “It’s your turn to tell me why you changed your mind about the sex thing.”
“You won’t like it. You’re going to regret letting me mark you.”
“Regret is something I refuse to have, ever. I did what I did and I won’t be sorry, even if you tell me I’m right and Jane was intended for Denys, and you knew it and had sex with her anyway.”
“You’re a scary girl, you know that?”
Her eyes widened. “Me? Scary?”
“It’s like you know things, and then you throw them out there and point to them and kill any chance of secrets. Don’t you know, people hide things because they’re ashamed of them?”
“Are you joking? Until you, I hid every single thing in my life because I was so ashamed. Get over yourself and tell me the truth about Jane. All of it, even the parts that make you feel like a douche.”
“I don’t feel like a douche. I am a douche. And a jackass, and a liar, and a very bad guy.”
“Says who?”
“Lucifer. He said it the night Jane died. He said of all my brothers, I am the most like my father.”
“So you’ve actually seen Lucifer. That’s heavy. I want details. But first I’ll say, maybe he meant you look like him, or that you have the same personality. Why assume he meant that you have the same character flaws?”
I began to pace. “I’ll tell you the story, and you’ll know exactly what he meant.”
She nodded and folded her hands across her belly. “Okay, go.”
For a guy who isn’t big on talking, I was a guy who couldn’t stop talking. I went on and on. She asked questions and I answered, but mostly she watched me pace and listened.
I fully expected, when I got to the end, that she would tell me to get out and never come back.
But, then, Mariah never did what I expected.
She sat up in bed and said, “That’s all well and good, but you still haven’t told me why you changed your mind about sex. Two nights ago, you said you’d never mark me, even if I wanted you to. The very next night, we were naked and I was marked. I’d love it if you said it was because you were overcome, that you couldn’t help yourself, that I’m irresistible to you, but the truth is—”
“That’s exactly why.”
“Bullshit!” She scrambled out of bed and stalked toward me in all her naked, beautiful glory, her blue eyes snapping with indignation. “You and your brothers are like wolves, claiming their territory. I’m surprised you don’t pee on things so the others know, Hey, this is mine. Back off. You told Zee you’d step aside for my sake, for his sake, but you didn’t do that. You never intended to do that. The instant Kyros brought me here, the second you laid eyes on me, there wasn’t a force of nature strong enough to make you let me go. You can kid yourself that you tried to do what you think is the right thing, but why lie? You knew when you climbed into bed with me that I’d wake up with your mark. Maybe you should go out there in the hall and howl so they’ll all know you’ve claimed me.”
“I don’t need to do that. They’re aware.” But I really did have an insane urge to throw my head back and shout at the top of my lungs. Maybe I’d beat on my chest for good measure. The thought was a little funny.
“You’re smiling! This is serious, and you’re grinning.”
I advanced on her and she didn’t back up.
“You’ve got to be kidding. I’m not done yelling at you.”
“Bookmark your place,” I said, a little hoarse, whether from yacking so long or because I was ridiculously emotional, I don’t know. I lifted her off of her feet and turned her in a circle.
“Put me down. I’m not going back to bed with you.”
I stopped turning and looked into her face. “Really?”
She went still in my arms. “No, not really, but honestly, Phoenix, you’re impossible. Why did you think, even for a second, you could give me up? And why did you imagine I’d give you up? I’m not an object you can hand off to someone else. Zee is right. For a brilliant mind, you can be a rea
l putz.”
***
Hours later, I woke and knew she was having her dream. She was stiff, her breathing way too rapid. I moved closer and stroked her hair. “Wake up, Mariah. You’re dreaming. This isn’t real.”
She mumbled in Romanian, “How are you here?” Once again, she’d drawn me into her dream world.
“I came to take you home.”
Even in sleep, her expression was one of wonder and awe. “You made . . . disappear.”
“I’ll always make him disappear. Come on and wake up now.” I wondered how much longer she’d be haunted by this nightmare? I hoped someday she’d fight him in her dreams and win, and maybe then she’d stop seeing him. Except I knew dreams didn’t work like that. When the day came that she was past it, when she felt strong enough to fight him off, she’d not have the dream. I was overwhelmed by sadness for her, that the bloody bastard still tormented her, even in death.
She blinked open her eyes and I instantly gathered her close. She clung to me, shaky and unnerved. “I wanted so badly not to have it any more.”
“I know.” I hugged her tighter. “I know.”
“How could you ever think I’d not want you,” she whispered. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. The very . . . best.”
“It’s only that I’m the one you opened up to, Mariah. If you were as open with—”
“I wouldn’t open up to anyone else. It’s you. There’s something about you. Maybe you are selfish, maybe you’re wild. But not to me, Phoenix.” She nuzzled into my neck. “Not to me.”
We laid like that for a long time, me petting her hair while I held her close, and her mumbling grossly exaggerated praise into my neck. I could almost transport to an alternate reality and imagine that she loved me. Really loved me.
Even more outlandish, I could imagine that I loved her. I’d do anything for her, slay all the monsters, stay with her every night for all time and be there when she woke up, happy, sad, or scared. I didn’t know about love, not really, but I did know there was no one in my life, in the world, that I’d rather be with.
Someone knocked. Expecting Mathilda, I called for her to come in, and had a shock when Zee opened the door.
He walked to the bed and stared down at the two of us, still tighter than a sailor’s knot beneath the covers, Mariah’s face half buried in my neck. “I assume this means your plan is null and void.”
I nodded.
“You do realize I’d never have gone through with it, right? I only said as much because I knew it’d make you crazy, make you do exactly what you did. You’re the most hardheaded, stubborn asshole on God’s earth. It takes something extreme and harsh to get you to pay attention.” His gaze moved to Mariah. “It’s our duty to ensure the comfort and happiness of all Anabo, Mariah, and I was chosen to do the honors. Are you well? Is everything okay? You have only to say the word, and he’ll be dealt with accordingly.”
She turned her head and said, “I’m horribly embarrassed, but that’s not his fault.”
“Why are you embarrassed?”
“Because I’m in bed, naked, with your naked brother, and you’re here looking at us, and everyone in the house knows what happened last night.”
“Of course we know,” he said in his usual blunt, reasonable, Zee way. “He marked you. This is how it works. Perhaps it’ll make you feel better that no one will know about any subsequent sex. Unless you yell a lot. Some girls like to yell, which seems a little overdramatic to me, but whatever. Are you happy?”
She’d turned her face into my neck again, no doubt ten shades of red. “Very,” she said, her voice muffled.
“Good. Don’t forget to practice your scales. Every day. Lesson on Wednesday at nine. Be sharp.” He paused. “B sharp. Get it?”
“I get it. I’ll be sharp. Thank you for the TV.”
“Welcome. I also bought you a laptop, which you need to let me teach you how to use. Phoenix will do it wrong.”
Offended, I said, “I beg your pardon. I’m not some Luddite who doesn’t know—”
“You’re an amateur. She needs me to teach her.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.” He turned away. “Try and make it downstairs for dinner. Key is leaving just after to go with Jordan to her school’s winter ball. He’s asked Sasha fifty times to adjust his bowtie, and Mathilda is about to bean him with a skillet because he keeps freaking out that his tux trousers are wrinkled. He’s put his hair in a ponytail ten times, taken it down ten times, and now he’s wondering if he should pull it back again. It’d be pathetic if it wasn’t so funny.”
This, I had to see. When Zee was gone, I asked her, “Are you up for this yet?”
“I may as well get it over with.” She raised her head and looked at me. “And I am kind of hungry.”
“Kind of?”
She grinned. “Okay, I’m starving.” She tickled me. “Luddite.”
Bouncing around on her bed, scaring the shit out of Olga, I couldn’t stop laughing. Life could never get better than this.
Chapter 18
~~ Mariah ~~
Isak Dinesen wrote in Out of Africa that the Earth was made round so we can’t see too far down the road. That night, the first time I remembered those words was when Key came back from Washington and called a war room meeting.
I was in the basement with Phoenix, in his lab looking over all of his potential plans for the takedown that would happen during Jordan’s birthday party. I was impressed by the detail, the absolute attention to every facet. Faking deaths was tedious business, and Phoenix rarely got it wrong – at least, according to Hetta, a Lumina who was a biomedical engineer before she came to be with the Mephisto. She worked with Phoenix when the plan involved death by anything internal, whether poison, or virus, or a health issue like a stroke or heart attack.
She was explaining her work with a particularly nasty foodborne virus they were considering, one they would hand off to M to use for the doppelgangers at the party, when Key’s voice came through the intercom, announcing a war room meeting.
Phoenix walked toward the door of the lab, then turned and looked at me expectantly.
“What?” I asked.
“You need to come with me, Mariah. You’re one of us now.”
Feeling extremely weird about that, I followed him out into the narrow hallway and walked beside him to the room from which everything flowed, like command central, or a brain, or the queen bee. The Mephisto basement was like a medieval castle, with flagstone floors, stone walls and many candles. There were computer banks in various niches and rooms, all giving out additional light, and the lab had been brightly lit with electricity, but for the most part, everything was lit by candlelight. The war room was a mix of ancient and modern. There was a large, oval hickory table with a repaired crack down the middle, and nine chairs, the newest one for me, a world map and a white board with colored markers across one wall, and a huge flat panel screen on the opposite wall. An iron fixture with at least fifty candles hung from the center of the high ceiling.
They were all there when we arrived, sitting around the table, Ty with his mastiff, Gretchen, next to him, Key still dressed in his tux, although he’d undone his tie. His hair was down, as it had been when he left, mostly because he’d run out of time to pull it back again.
As soon as Phoenix and I sat down, he said, “There was an incident at the dance tonight. Jordan somehow got it into her head that I might consider defecting to join Eryx. He was talking to me, and she went ballistic. Shoved him, then punched him, and if I hadn’t stopped her, she’d have jumped him and continued hitting him. I carried her out of there and she cried so hard, was so hysterical . . .” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “It’s too much for her. Being there, being Mephisto, trying to act normal – it’s killing her. I want to vote on my plan to tell her when she comes later tonight that she’s not going back.” He looked at Phoenix. “Hoping, actually assuming, you’d all agree, I went ahead and asked M for a do
ppelganger, a brain aneurysm.”
I said, “If she can’t go back, she won’t have the time that’s left with her dad.”
“Maybe it’s better this way,” Sasha said. “I’ve been thinking about how hard it was going to be for her at her birthday party, knowing she was about to leave him.”
“She could have weathered that,” Key said, “but lasting another week in the real world? I don’t think so. Eryx is the problem. He’s relentless. He told me tonight that he’s giving up, but I don’t believe it. He’s up to something, and I’m convinced we need to bring Jordan home to make sure she’s safe from whatever he plans.”
Everyone nodded and Key said, “Hands for aye.” We all raised our hands. He stood and said, “I’m going to my room to wait. I’ll explain when she gets here, and tell her the vote was unanimous.”
I almost offered to help, but didn’t. Jordan and I weren’t close at all. She’d lean on Key, which I supposed was how it should be.
When we stood to disburse, Phoenix said, “She’ll be glad you’re here, once the shock wears off.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.” He took my hand and led me from the war room.
“Are we going back to the lab?”
“Not right now. I’m going to have to dream up a whole other plan.”
“Because now there won’t be a birthday party where a lot of lost souls will be gathered.”
He glanced at me. “Now, there’ll be a memorial service.”
I felt chilled. No matter that her death would be fake, the idea of a memorial service for my baby sister made me shaky.
Only You (The Mephisto Covenant Series) Page 30
