by Donna Hill
“I want you to come with me. I want it to be our house, our future.”
“Come with you? But…my life, my business, my friends, my job, everything is here,” she said.
“Where do I fit in?”
She blinked rapidly. “In that part I said about ‘my life.’”
He reached across the table and took her hand, surprised to find that it was icy cold. “We can make a new life, together. Me and you.”
“Wil…I…” She blew out a breath.
“Look, you don’t have to make a decision right this minute. Think about it. Please?” he said as he gazed deeply into her eyes.
She stared down at her overflowing plate of food and lost her appetite. “Sure. I’ll think about it,” she murmured. But, even as she agreed to that small thing, she knew that, whatever decision she made, it was going to permanently change their relationship—one way or the other.
Chapter 8
Ron had seen Elizabeth’s number come up on his cell phone on his drive home from the work site. By the time she’d finally gotten around to calling him it was close to ten o’clock. He didn’t know whether to stay pissed off or to be relieved.
He pulled up in front of his building and hopped out of his car. It had been a helluva day on several fronts and, before he spoke to Ellie and said something he might regret, he opted for a quick, hot shower and a stiff drink.
As he walked through his door, tossing his jacket and knapsack on the couch, the landline rang. His jaw clenched. He walked over to the wall phone in the small efficiency kitchen. The number flashing on the caller ID was Ellie’s home number.
Grinding his teeth back and forth, he snatched up the phone.
“Yeah,” came his terse greeting.
“Ron, it’s Ellie.”
He was silent.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to call you earlier. I promise, I will explain everything, but something more important came up.”
What could be more important than telling him why it took her all day and half the evening to get back to him and why she wasn’t at work.
“Two guys from the FBI came to the spa today.”
He sputtered a curse. “When?”
“Early this evening, maybe about five-thirty, six o’clock. Ron—Why are they looking for you?”
This was getting ugly. He blew out a breath of frustration. “I’ll tell you about it later. What did they say?”
“They asked to see our invoices and bills of lading from your company.”
He rocked his head back and squeezed his eyes shut. “What did you tell them?”
“I told them that they’d have to get it from the owner. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Shit! Okay, look, I just walked in the door. Let me shower, change and I’ll come over there.”
“All right. Ron, what is going on?”
“That’s what I’m trying to find out. I’ll see you in about an hour.” He hung up the phone then banged his fist into the wall.
Ellie’s next call was to Barbara. She had to tell her what was going on as soon as possible. Hopefully, she’d decided to come home and not spend the night at Wil’s.
Barbara’s phone rang and rang until her voice mail kicked in.
“Barb, it’s Ellie. Listen, if you get in before midnight, please call me at home. Or first thing tomorrow morning, before you go to work. Thanks.” She hung up.
She wasn’t sure if Ron had eaten dinner. He said he’d just gotten in. Maybe she could soften the blow by at least fixing him something to eat. She went into the kitchen to see what she could whip up quickly that would not be too heavy at this time of night.
Hunting around in the fridge, she took out the plastic container of chicken, which she’d diced, seasoned and grilled the day before. She took out the lettuce and tomatoes and prepared a salad. She put on a pot of water to boil and added two eggs. It wasn’t gourmet, but it would be filling.
Once she was done in the kitchen, she went to change her clothes into a loose-fitting pair of sweats and a T-shirt that read I Luv Books.
The evening was still warm, so she went around the apartment opening the windows just a bit, then she straightened the magazines in the rack and reorganized some of her CDs that were out of the cases. Turning around in a slow circle with her hands on her hips, she realized she’d finally run out of things to occupy her mind and her nervous fingers. She was a wreck on several fronts. That was a fact that she couldn’t escape.
Feeling suddenly overwhelmed, she plopped down on the couch and pointed the remote at the flat screen television. She clicked right by all the news broadcasts hoping to land on something mind numbing like music videos.
She finally settled on watching a rerun of an awards show when the phone rang in concert with the doorbell. She reached for the phone, taking it with her as she walked to the intercom.
“Hello?” she said into the phone. “Who?” Into the intercom.
“It’s Matt, Ellie.”
Dammit.
“It’s me, Ron.”
She pressed the door buzzer. She had about two minutes before Ron got upstairs.
“Matt, what is it? Are you okay?”
“I’m not feeling very well,” he managed to get out.
“Matt, do you need to call your doctor?”
“I already did. He told me to meet him at the hospital. I feel so…sick. I know I can’t make it there on my own. Can you—”
She cut him off before he could get the request out. “I can’t, Matt. Call a car service. Or, if you feel that badly, call 9-1-1 and let them send an ambulance.”
She heard what sounded like retching on the other end. There was a knock on her front door. All she needed now was a swarm of locusts.
“Call the car service, Matt. I’ll check on you in the morning.” She hung up and went to the door, her conscience kicking her all the way. She pulled the door open.
“Hi,” she mumbled, and turned away.
“Hmm, good to see you, too,” he said in response to the chilly greeting. He shut the door. Well, if it’s like that, he thought, they both had bones to pick.
“I fixed you something to eat. It’s in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”
“What about you?”
“I’m okay,” she said, with a toss of her hand into the air. She went into the living room. Ron followed her.
“We need to talk, Ellie.”
She whirled toward him. “Yeah, I’d say we do.”
Ron came to the love seat and sat down. He rested his forearms on his thighs. “Guess I’ll go first.”
Elizabeth pursed her lips and sat down opposite him, thankful for her momentary reprieve.
He told her about his visit earlier in the day from the two agents, who’d inadvertently accused him of accepting payments and shipments from someone they had under suspicion for illegal activities—his supplier.
“What did they do, pick your name out of a hat?”
“Remember when I told you that, ever since my days with the Panthers, I get these periodic checkups—it could be a call or an appearance by someone unfamiliar. But I know I’ve been watched through the years.” She listened as he continued. “Well, with all the stepped-up surveillance programs with Homeland Security, apparently, my name put up a red flag when it was connected to my supplier.”
“Who is your supplier?”
“This guy in Philly.”
“How well do you know him?”
“I don’t. He’s just a guy I’ve been using.”
“This is crazy. Now they want to investigate the spa and our connection to you. I have yet to let Barbara and the girls know.”
“I need an attorney,” he cut in. “I was hoping you could put me in touch with Ann Marie’s guy, Sterling.”
“Sure. I’ll let her know to have him contact you.”
“The sooner, the better,” he said warily. “That was one of the reasons why I’d called you earlier,” he said, turning the spotlight on her.
“I’m listening.”
She pushed out a breath. “This morning I got a call from Matthew…”
Ron’s brows rose as she spoke. A part of him was saddened for her ex. You wouldn’t wish cancer on anyone. But another part was disappointed. This was the second time that she’d hidden something from him regarding her ex-husband, which made him wonder if there was still something between them.
“Why didn’t you just tell me, Ell?” he asked once she was done.
“I—I wanted to. I’d started to, but everything happened so fast.”
“Ellie, if we’re going to do this thing together, we have to trust each other.” He looked at her for a long moment. “Do you still have feelings for him.”
Her head jerked up. “No. Of course not. Not like that.”
He slowly nodded his head.
“He just called,” she confessed. “While you were ringing the bell.”
“And?”
“He sounded really sick. He wanted me to go with him back to the hospital. I told him to take a cab,” she said, sounding as awful as she felt about what she’d done.
“Do you want to go, Ellie?”
She looked into his eyes, trying to gauge his real feelings. “He doesn’t have anyone else…” she managed to get out.
Ron stood. “Then, you should go. Have you told the girls what’s going on?”
She shook her head. She knew she would have to tell their twin daughters if Matt hadn’t. They deserved to know.
“Maybe the two of you need to talk about telling your kids,” he said, his tone as tight as a drum-skin.
She tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth.
“Why don’t you change your clothes and go on over to the hospital?” he said.
She got up and went to him. She pressed her head to his chest, hoping that he would wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be all right. But he didn’t. He just stood there until she moved away. She backed up and looked into his eyes. And, for the first time since they’d been together, she didn’t see herself reflected there and it frightened her.
She turned away. “I’m going to change. I’ll be right back.”
When she returned several minutes later, Ron was gone.
Chapter 9
Elizabeth careened between tears and confusion on her drive to the hospital. She swiped at her eyes and sniffed hard. This was all getting so crazy. She wasn’t quite sure how she’d expected Ron to react. Maybe it was best that he left, but what had he been thinking when he did?
He’d asked the question that had been nagging at her constantly: Was she still in love with Matt? If she was, did that make her a fool for still loving a man that had hurt her in the worst way? And, if she was, what about her feelings for Ron? Were they real? Could you love two men at the same time?
Her head began to pound, the onset of a major headache was settling behind her lids. She pulled into the visitors section of the parking lot at the hospital and went straight to the emergency entrance. As she pushed through the doors, she realized that she hadn’t even called Matt back to see if he’d come.
Well, she was here now. She headed to the information desk. The woman behind the counter pointed her in the direction of the emergency waiting area. Several rows of patients were waiting in varying stages of illness. She found a nurse and asked about Matthew Lewis.
“I believe he’s in exam three. The doctor is with him. But you can’t go back there.”
“I’m…his wife. Mrs. Lewis.”
The nurse looked at her for a moment. “Wait here.” She left Elizabeth and pushed through a swinging door.
Moments later, the nurse returned. “Come with me.”
Elizabeth followed her into the examination area and was shown to the room where Matthew was. She eased back the drape. Matthew was sitting up on the exam table. Both he and the doctor turned.
“Mrs. Lewis. Come in.”
She looked at Matt, who looked the worse for wear, and her heart ached in her chest.
“First, he’s going to be all right. He had a bad reaction to the medications. I’ve lowered the dosage and given him something to combat the nausea.”
Elizabeth nodded, all the while looking at Matthew. The sudden, powerful urge to put her arms around him filled her to a point of bursting. Maybe the papers did say that they were no longer legally bound, but she knew, deep inside, that they would always be linked together. No amount of paper or legal jargon would change that. The acceptance of that stunned her, leaving her feeling incredibly uncertain.
“Thanks for coming, Ell.”
She swallowed over the tightness in her throat. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.”
“Can he go home?”
“I want to monitor him for about another hour and then he can go.” He looked from one to the other, his expression severe. “You really must come to a decision about treatment. I cannot impress that upon you enough. Time is the great pretender. You always believe you have plenty of it. I’ll be back to check on you,” the doctor said, and then he walked out, leaving them alone.
Elizabeth walked farther into the tight space. She didn’t know what to say.
“All this has happened so fast,” he began. “I mean, I just got the test results back two days ago. Then the biopsy…” He looked up at her. “I can’t seem to process it all.”
“I know,” she said gently, “but this is your life, Matt. You have to decide what you want to do.”
“Have you told the girls?”
“No.”
“They’re going to need to know, even if they don’t care.”
“Matt,” she admonished, “why would you say such a thing? Of course they care. You’re their father. They love you.”
“Even after everything I’ve done?”
She averted her gaze for an instant. “They’re grown women, Matt. They understand that…things happen in a marriage—to a family.”
“I never told them how sorry I was that I hurt you—hurt them.”
“I’m sure they know,” Elizabeth said.
“What do you think I should do—about the course of treatment?”
She sighed heavily. “I don’t know.” She placed her hand on his thigh. “Maybe we can talk to the doctor about it…together.” She watched his nostrils flare and his eyes fill.
“Thank you,” he said, barely able to get the words out.
She nodded. “It’s going to be all right. I know it is,” she said, as much in statement as in prayer.
He placed his hand atop hers and squeezed it gently.
By the time Elizabeth got back home, it was after midnight. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally. She checked her voice mail. No call from Ron, but Barbara had called. She knew it was much too late to reach her now. She’d call first thing in the morning. Maybe they could get together for breakfast and talk. She had a laundry list of things she needed to get off her chest.
Dragging through the apartment, she stripped out of her clothes and crawled into bed. But once there, with the lights out and only the distant sounds of the streets below to keep her company, she couldn’t sleep.
She felt totally overwhelmed, as if she was sinking and had forgotten how to swim. Every time she tried to get her head above water, she got tugged right back down again.
Ron.
Matthew.
She saw herself running through the woods, darting around trees and leaping over foliage until she finally reached a clearing. At the crest of a rolling hill, she spotted two images and recognized them as Matthew and Ron, standing side by side. Seeing them gave her some momentary sense of peace. She started to run toward them and, as she got closer, she realized that they weren’t standing on the top of a hill, but on the edge of a cliff. The wind suddenly gusted. Matt and Ron rocked back and forth, losing their balance. She ran faster, but they continued to get farthe
r and farther away. She finally reached the edge of the cliff and stretched out her hands to keep them from falling. Their fingers touched. She almost had both of them. She could save them both if they would just grab hold. And then the wind whipped up again, more powerfully this time, and they were lifted off their feet. Both men began to fall and as they fell she was dragged down with them. She screamed and jumped up from her nightmare.
Her eyes darted around the darkness. Her heart raced out of control. She drew her knees to her chest and lowered her head, drawing in long breaths, hoping to slow her racing heartbeat down.
It was just a dream, she kept repeating to herself. Just a dream.
What was left of the night was spent half sleeping, half waking, the fear of revisiting her dream enough to keep true sleep at bay.
Unable to stay in bed any longer, she stumbled into the bathroom and got into the shower. Feeling mildly refreshed, she fixed a pot of coffee. It was just about seven when her phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Ell, it’s Barbara. I tried you last night.”
“Girl, we gotta talk. Wanna have breakfast?”
“My sister in spirit. Come by my house. I’ll fix us something while you’re on your way.”
“Great. See you in about a half hour.”
She grabbed her mug of coffee and took it into the bedroom to sip while she got dressed. The forecast called for a chance of showers so she snatched up her umbrella on the way out. The spa wasn’t scheduled to open until noon and it would close at ten. Tonight was their late night. At least, the long hours would give her and Barbara a chance to really talk, which reminded her that she needed to get in contact with Ann Marie as soon as possible.
When she knocked on Barbara’s door, she could smell the warm scent of fresh biscuits and her stomach yelped in appreciation.
“Hey, girl, come on in.”
They swapped cheek kisses.
Elizabeth dropped her umbrella in the bin by the door and followed her nose to the kitchen.
