Crazy In Love With A Thug: Bari and Seven

by LaDonna Robinson

  "That's a lie!"

  "Oh, it is, huh?" Big Mama got up and stormed across the room. Her footsteps could be heard loud and clear over the T.V. "Bari! Come here, baby!"

  I tentatively looked at Paw-Paw, who shrugged his shoulders helplessly. He took my hand and walked with me to the dining room.

  "What the hell is this?" Big Mama demanded, slamming first one big box upon the table, followed by five smaller ones.

  They were all beautifully wrapped and tied with pretty pink, blue and yellow satin bows. I gasped at the sight. So did everyone else; including Mama. There was a knock at the door.

  "Big Mama, we're finished. And we're sorry. Can we come back in now?" Niecy spoke for both of them.

  Macy nodded her head in agreement, just in case Big Mama might think she hadn't learned anything at all and send her back to the barn alone.

  "Apologize to your sister." They did. "Come on in now. I want you girls to see this, too."

  Their eyes widened into huge saucers when they saw the gifts on the table.

  "What's all this?" The other kids wanted to know. "Where'd it come from?"

  "Bari," Big Mama began, pulling me up on her lap. "These are birthday presents from your daddy. He wanted more than anything for you to have them on your birthday, but when he went to take them to you, y’all wasn't home." Mama hung her head guiltily. I knew she had denied my daddy to me, and it made me angry. "Gon' and open 'em."

  I looked at Niecy. She had a strange look in her eyes, directed straight at Mama. Everyone looked uncomfortable and started making excuses to leave.

  "Ain't nobody goin' nowhere! This is my damn house! And if I say ain't nobody goin' nowhere then dammit ain't nobody goin' nowhere 'til I damn well say so!" Paw-Paw roared.

  They all took their places back at the table and sat staring at the table cloth. All except little three year old Raeshon who promptly burst into tears and ran screaming from the room.

  "The rest of you kids go on back in the room, too. I don't know how y’all got back out here anyway!"

  They reluctantly left, looking back to see if there would be any action before they closed the door.

  "Big Mama?"

  "Yes, Niecy? What's the matter, baby?" Tears formed in Niecy's eyes and ran down her face. My own eyes filled with tears, too. I hated to see my sisters cry, no matter how mean they were to me. "Tell Big Mama what's wrong."

  "This just proves what Mama has said all along," she sniffled, her voice cracking as she choked to hold back the tears. "That Bari was the only one he ever cared about 'cause she's dark like him."

  She burst into tears. Paw-Paw pulled her into his arms. She sobbed on his shoulder. Mama looked like she wanted to run while the coast was clear. She couldn't even look at Big Mama, who was glaring at her like she could make her explode into a million tiny pieces.

  Paw-Paw looked furious. He looked at Big Mama and nodded his head. She scooted me off her lap and walked down the hall to the closet. She came back carrying a small wooden chest with a lock on the front. She passed the chest to Mama, then handed her the key. We all waited impatiently for her to unlock it. When she did, she just stared down inside as her eyes grew wide in horror.

  "Pull 'em out," Big Mama demanded. Mama glared at her indignantly. "Pull 'em out!"

  Mama pushed her chair back angrily, jumped up, grabbed her purse and walked out, slamming the door behind her. Big Mama just shook her head in disgust. She looked at Niecy, then reached into the box and handed her a huge stack of envelopes. There were three stacks in all different colored envelopes and post cards. She handed one to each of us. We all looked at each other at the same time, as realization hit us. Each envelope, in each of our stacks, had one thing in common. They were all stamped with the same thing; Return to Sender.

  Chapter 4

  "Big Mama love y’all so much."

  She hugged each one of us at the door and waited patiently for Mama to come open the door after we knocked. We knocked again and called her name. The car was in the driveway so we knew she was home. She didn't respond, instead she went to the window.

  "Keep 'em! Send 'em to they daddy since you think he could do a better job at raising 'em than I do! I don't want ‘em! I never wanted they ugly asses in the first place! Especially that little black spook that think the sun rises and sets around her black ass, good-for-nothing-ass daddy!"

  "Shut yo' mouth, Boudine! Don't you do that to these kids! You a rotten, mean, black-hearted witch, and you gon' answer to the Lord for the way you don' twisted these kids up in the mind!"

  "They ain't no mo’ twisted than you and yo' wanna-be white ass son! Damn Oreo! That's what he is! Always was a Mama's boy!"

  "You so damn hateful, Boudine! You can't even stand yo’ self! Just miserable! Ya need some God in ya life!"

  "And you need to get yo' fat ass off my property and take them little bitches wit'cha!" Mama sneered. Big Mama looked like she wanted to kill her. "And you two little pissy colored hoes! I got news for both of y’all! That black ass sand flea ain't even y’all's daddy! Now, what'cha think about that?”

  "You stop it right now!" Big Mama ordered.

  “It's the truth! Y’all ain't nothin' but some trick babies!"

  She slammed the window, shattering the glass. It rained down to the small dried out flower bed below.

  Chapter 5

  "I'm telling you, Bari, it was the ugliest scene I've ever witnessed," Big Mama said.

  "Mama, stop crying now, it's going to be alright."

  He put his arm around his wife. She was a beautiful white lady, with her blonde hair pulled back tightly in a bun. I couldn't help but stare at her. She looked over at me and smiled. I quickly turned my head away.

  “Is it true, Daddy?" Niecy asked. "Is what she said true? Are you not our daddy, too?"

  He looked at her sadly.

  "It's true, Niecy. But you have to believe that I love you and Macy as if you were my own children. That's why I never wanted you to know. I'm sorry for lying to you."

  Niecy wiped her eyes and looked sadly at Macy.

  "Are we coming to live with you too, or only Bari?" Macy asked.

  "Oh, baby! I'm taking all my girls with me. This is what I've wanted for so long."

  "This is what we've both wanted," his wife chimed in happily. ·

  "What's your name again?' I asked. "Say it one more time."

  Everybody laughed.

  "Marcella."

  "Mar ...Mar ..."

  "Cella!" she laughed.

  "What's wrong with Marcie?" I asked, wondering why they hadn't thought of that before.

  They all thought that was really funny.

  "Marcie," I repeated. I liked the sound of that.

  "Well, I have some news for you kids."

  "What is it, Daddy?" Macy asked impatiently.

  Macy loved secrets, surprises and any news that anyone had to give to her.

  "We're moving."

  "Moving?" We all asked in unison.

  "To California," Marcie replied.

  "Californy?" I asked. "What's Californy?"

  "California, baby, California. I got a better job offer from there, and I took it. I'll be the president of a large company and make even more money."

  "I love money, Daddy," I informed him.

  He laughed and hugged me close to him.

  "Then you surely do take after your daddy, baby girl!"

  Chapter 6

  "Wow! This is even better than Beaver's house," I observed, as Daddy unlocked the door and let us inside the new house.

  It was huge. I looked around the giant living room at all the nice furniture. I should be able to get a few good jumps out of that couch, I thought to myself. An older white lady was approaching us with a huge smile on her face.

  "Hi," I said. "My name is Bari. Are you Marcie's mama?"

  Daddy and Marcie laughed together. I was wondering if she came with the house, when Daddy began to speak.

  "Girls, this is Ms. Nielsen. S
he's the housekeeper."

  "Why do you wanna keep our house?" I asked, near tears at the thought that this stranger wanted our new house for keeps.

  Niecy rolled her eyes but then looked at me and smiled.

  "No, Baby Girl, a housekeeper is somebody who cleans the house. They cook, clean and take care of little girls when their parents are gone."

  "Oh. Okay."

  "It's nice to meet you girls," she said.

  "You talk funny," I observed. "What's wrong with you?"

  "That's called an accent, honey," Marcie explained. "Ms. Nielsen is from a place called England."

  "Is that near Californy?"

  "Californ-ia!" Niecy and Macy laughed.

  "No sweetie, that's far away from here."

  "Can we go sometime, Daddy?" I asked.

  "Maybe one day, if we're lucky."

  "Come with me girls. I'll show you your rooms.”

  Rooms, I thought to myself. She didn't say room. She said rooms, with an S. When we reached the top of the wide staircase and stopped in front of a door, she turned to Niecy.

  "This is your room, Niecy."

  Marcie opened the door and let it swing back to the wall. We all gasped. It looked like something out of a picture book. Niecy’s eyes searched the room, which was decorated in lavender, then looked up at Marcie with tears in her eyes.

  "Come on, Macy. I get the side of the bed closest to the window.''

  Macy started to cross the threshold. Marcie stopped her.

  "No, Niecy, this is your room. Macy has her own room." She smiled gently.

  "This is all mine?" Niecy asked.

  Her eyes went to the dresser that had the large vanity mirror attached to it, to the queen sized canopy bed with the lavender ruffled comforter, to the writing desk that held the lavender computer, to the walk-in closet that seemed to hold millions of clothes and shoes.

  "I don't know how to use a computer," Niecy said quietly, her eyes downcast. "I've seen them before. Uncle Leo has one, but I don't know how to use it."

  "I'll show you! It's easy!" Marcie told her.

  Niecy cheered up instantly.

  "Whoa!" Macy screamed excitedly as we entered her room.

  Her room was decorated in light green, with the same accessories as Niecy's minus the computer.

  "Can I jump on your bed?" I asked Macy.

  "No!" Marcie laughed. "You can jump on your own bed!"

  We all giggled our way to my room with Daddy following behind us, shaking his head. We all got quiet as we observed the light pink canopy bed, the pink toy chest, the pink table and chair and all the stuffed animals that covered the bed.

  "What's in there?" I asked.

  Why did I have an extra door? I didn't want an extra door.

  "Go look!" Daddy said.

  I walked over and pushed open the extra door.

  "Wow! It's a bathroom, y’all!"

  It had a pink rug on the floor, a pink shower curtain, a pink clothes hamper and a pink rug on the closed toilet lid. On the counter sat a pink cup with a matching pink toothbrush.

  "Do we have bathrooms, too?" Macy asked.

  "No, honey. We know that Bari has a problem making it all the way to the bathroom at night, so we thought it would be a little easier for her if she had one closer,” Daddy explained patiently.

  "That's a good idea," Niecy chimed in.

  It was a good idea to her because she's the one that had to share a room with me at home and had to wash my sheets every day.

  "Are you girls hungry?"

  Macy and I nodded and looked at Niecy. She rolled her eyes, then turned to Daddy and Marcie.

  "What do you guys want me to make?"

  They looked confused.

  "What do you mean?" Marcie asked.

  "What do you want for dinner?" Niecy asked. "I do all the cooking at home."

  Marcie looked at Daddy sadly.

  "Honey, Ms. Nielsen does all the cooking in this house. You never have to worry about that here. Okay?" Niecy nodded. Marcie hugged her. "However, it is all of your responsibilities to keep your room clean. And no one of you may enter another's room without permission from the one who lives there. It's called privacy," she explained with a smile. "And respect for other people's space."

  We all nodded.

  Chapter 7

  "Can I help you, Ms. Nielsen?" I asked anxiously.

  I loved to be in the kitchen. Now twelve years old, I was probably the youngest chef in the state of California and had a natural talent for cooking. I would take the things I learned from Big Mama on our summer visits, and the things I learned from Ms. Nielsen, and put them together. I loved spending time with Ms. Nielsen, and I looked forward to the times when it was just her and I. She would have me pick out a C.D. for us to listen to while we cooked, baked, fried, pureed and sautéed. I learned to cook and loved it; often times cooking for the family while Ms. Nielsen sat at the table with the rest of the family, or when she was on vacation.

  "Actually, Sweetie, you're on your own tonight. My mother needs me badly. Her nurse just called. I'm so sorry.''

  I tried to hide my excitement. I watched her pack up and leave, then went to see what she had taken out to cook. Red Snapper. I found me a song, hit repeat and listened to it over and over while I prepared fried red snapper with potatoes, peas and pearl onions, and a tossed salad with toasted French bread.

  The closeness that my sisters and I developed over the years, was one of bafflement and surprise. I had always been the outcast. Now, I was simply the baby sister. I hadn't heard a dark joke since we had left Mama behind on that sad and dreadful day. We had never heard from Mama, nor had Big Mama and Paw-Paw. Although Mama had hurt us a lot, I still secretly hoped that she had been all right over the years.

  We had grown to love Marcie as if she was the one who should have been our mother in the first place. She was an awesome mother, and an even more wonderful friend. She gave us advice, taught us about the birds and the bees. Daddy was another pillar that we strongly leaned on. They gave us all our heart's desire, but made us work for it. We worked for it by keeping our grades up and our rooms clean.

  It was when I turned thirteen, Macy was fifteen, and Niecy was sixteen that traits of our mother began to show up in Niecy. It seemed that she changed overnight, transforming from the older sister that Macy and I grown to look up to, into a wicked witch that we began to dread. She would come home from school and go directly to her room, locking herself inside, sometimes until the next morning. We were thankful for that. Being around Niecy was like being around Mama herself.

  "Niecy, will you please help Ms. Nielsen bring in the groceries?" Marcie asked her one afternoon.

  "What the hell do I look like? A fuckin' slave? Do it yourself if you want it done. When you start paying me Ms. Nielsen's money, I'll start doing Ms. Nielsen's job."

  I felt bad for Marcie, who stood there with her mouth open, unable to speak.

  The next day, my whole world changed into the worst nightmare I ever thought possible. I had left for school as normal that day, but when P.E. came, and it was time to change into my gym shorts and t-shirt, I had started my period. The nurse was kind enough to send me home. I wasn't afraid to be home alone. I had been alone before.

  I trudged upstairs, and when I walked past Daddy and Marcie's room, I heard voices. What are they doing home? I wondered to myself. I walked to the door and heard Marcie crying. I knocked softly to no reply, then knocked a little louder. I hoped nothing had happened to Big Mama. I pushed the door open.

  "Marcie, are you okay? They sent me home from ..."

  She was on her hands and knees on the bed, and a stranger was behind her, stabbing her with his thing. I could pick up something and knock him out, I thought to myself as I looked around the room. My feet wouldn't move though. Marcie needs me. She would protect me if the shoe was on the other foot. I willed my feet to move and was going to pick up the heavy glass lamp from the nightstand.

  "Close the fuckin'
door!" Marcie shouted, as I froze where I was. "Close the door, you little nosey black bitch!"

  I slammed the door shut and ran downstairs, tears streaming down my face. I ran outside, down the street and back to school.

  “Bari, you sure are quiet," my daddy observed that evening, over a dinner of spaghetti, meatballs, garlic bread and green beans.

  I kept my eyes on my plate.

  "Yes, honey, you are rather quiet," Marcie commented.

  I looked up at her. She glared at me, then her eyes turned to innocence.

  "I'm not hungry, I guess."

  "Well, how was school?" He pressed.

  "It was fine."

  He looked at Marcie questioningly.

  "Bari, dear, are you feeling okay?"

  "I said I'm fine."

  "Hey, Bari, don't snap at Marcie. She's concerned, that's all."

  "It's okay, honey, probably just one of those days," she said.

  "Days for what, Marcie?"

  Macy and Niecy looked up in unison when they heard the tone of my voice.

  "Can I be excused?"

  "After you eat, Sweetie," Marcie said.

  I looked at her sadly. I couldn't for the life of me understand why she would do my daddy that way. I would never forgive her. Someone was knocking at our door. Daddy got up to open it. My mouth fell open.

  "Come on in, Paul. We were just sitting down to dinner, care to join us?"

  I looked up to find Marcie staring at me. I stared back. She wasn't behaving like someone who was sorry about yelling at me either. I found that even more upsetting. Raped. She was definitely a willing participant. I glared at Paul as he pulled out a chair next to me and sat down. He was the man that was there with Marcie earlier.

  "Bari, Niecy, Macy, this is your daddy's friend, Paul. They work together,” she said.

  "We met earlier," I said simply.

  "You must be mistaken, honey," Daddy said. "Paul has never been here before."

  "No, Daddy. No mistake."

  He looked at me strangely.

  "She hasn't been feeling well today," Marcie explained, as if whatever was wrong with me was causing me to hallucinate.