Crazy In Love With A Thug: Bari and Seven

by LaDonna Robinson

  "I feel fine, and like I said, we met earlier. He was here this afternoon,” I said nonchalantly.

  You could do just about anything to me. I was used to abuse from the time I was born, but you don't mess with my Daddy.

  "Remember Marcie, I came to your room to tell you I was home from school because I had an accident, and you and Paul were in you and Daddy's room? You screamed at me and called me a nosey black bitch. You remember, don't you?"

  Her face reddened, along with Paul's, as she stammered out a weak denial.

  "She's lying, honey!"

  I glanced at Daddy. If he didn't know anything else about me, he knew I wasn't a liar. Lying had gotten me a few too many beatings. I was terrified to tell a lie.

  "She's not lying, Daddy. It's been going on for a while now," Niecy confirmed.

  She had known it all along. No wonder she treated Marcie the way she did. Paul stood.

  "Maybe this isn't such a good time. They obviously have me mixed up with someone else."

  He never got to finish his sentence. Daddy's right fist connected with his jaw. A loud crunch echoed off the walls.

  "Don't you touch him!" Marcie yelled. "Don't you dare touch him, you ni .." Paul ran for the door. "I mean ...honey ..." she turned to Daddy. "You know I love you, Barry."

  Daddy grabbed Marcie by the back of her neck and dragged her to the door.

  "Paul! You forgot something!" And with that, he heaved her outside onto the ground. "Take your trash with you!"

  Chapter 8

  "I'm sorry you girls had to see that," Daddy said, as we sat around the table in an attempt to finish our dinner.

  "It's okay, Daddy," I said.

  "Yeah, Daddy," Macy chimed in.

  We looked at Niecy. She didn't say a word. She just got up, went to her room and slammed the door. Macy and I looked at Daddy helplessly. I was sick of her, and I decided to let her know it. I stormed up the stairs and knocked on her door. She didn't answer. I let myself in.

  "What's wrong with you? You're making Daddy feel bad. Don't you care?"

  "He's not my daddy."

  "And?"

  "And ...just and. Get out of here."

  "No. I'm not going anywhere."

  Macy came in and stood next to Niecy's bed.

  "What happened to you, Niecy? You're starting to act like Mama. You act like you're mad all the time. You never laugh, you never smile. You never talk to Macy and me anymore. What's wrong with you?" I asked.

  "I can't say," she said. Her eyes filled with tears.

  "Please, Niecy. Maybe we can help you."

  "No one can."

  "Maybe Daddy can." Macy suggested.

  "No! Don't call him in here!"

  ''Niecy ..."

  "I've talked to Mama," she blurted out.

  "What?" Macy and I yelled.

  "I've talked to her a few times. She needed money."

  "And you gave it to her?" Macy asked, astonished at Niecy's stupidity. "After all that stuff she said to us? She hates us!"

  "No she doesn't! She's doing bad. She needs help."

  "So, you think you're gonna move her in here, and Daddy won't notice? The house ain't that damn big!"

  "Don't be a smart ass, Bari."

  "Well, don't be stupid, Niecy." I snapped back. "She's using you. And I'm telling Daddy."

  I headed towards the door.

  "I knew better than to trust you. You ain’t one of us anyway! She was right about you. You're gonna always think you're better than me and Macy!"

  "She hasn't changed at all! She just wants you to hate me!” I cried.

  "She has changed, and I'm leaving. She needs me."

  "Are you crazy, Niecy?" Macy asked. "She doesn't need you! She just wants somebody to be mean to. She wants a maid!"

  "She has a husband! We have a step-father, Macy! Don't you even care? They need me."

  "She can't take care of you! She want's somebody to take care of her and some man!"

  “I’m going,” she said with finality.

  I ran from the room. Not this. Anything but this. I loved my sisters. I needed them. I didn't want us split up. I wanted us to stay together and make up for all the years we had missed being friends.

  Chapter 9

  Things were so different without Niecy. I missed her laugh. I missed the silly dances she would teach me and Macy and how she would sit dreamy eyed with the phone stuck to her ear while she talked to some funny looking boy. I missed my sister.

  Macy and I were the very best of friends. Every night we would lay on the floor in the living room and watch T.V. It didn't even bother me that she was spending more time on the phone than she was with me.

  We hadn't spoken to Niecy since she left. We had been to Big Mama and Paw-Paw's house two summers in a row, but Niecy wasn't allowed to come. I was packing my suitcase and thinking how good it would be to see her when Macy came in. At seventeen, Macy was beautiful. This would be her last summer with Big Mama and Paw-Paw. She was going off to college soon. She had a lot of new friends, a lot of new boyfriends and a life that didn't include me. I was jealous about her having other people to laugh with.

  Daddy bought her a blue BMW for her graduation. She was ecstatic. I was happy for her. Daddy and I were the first ones she took for a ride.

  She would be home in about fifteen minutes to pick me up so we could go to the airport. She had gone with Daddy to drop off his new wife at the hair salon, and I couldn't wait for her to get back so I could see Big Mama and Paw-Paw. Macy thought she was so slick. That was just her way of getting some driving time in.

  Daddy's new wife was named Trish. She was exactly three years older than Macy, two years older than Niecy. She was a pretty black lady with long black hair, and looked like a model. I didn't care how pretty she was. I didn't like her one bit. She was only after Daddy's money, and Macy and I knew it. Macy didn't care though. She and Trish would go clothes shopping and burn up the malls with Daddy's credit cards. But he loved her to death and wouldn't hear a negative word about her.

  I passed some more time talking on the phone with Big Mama about all that we would cook for Paw-Paw. Still, no Daddy and no Macy. I knew that Macy had her cell phone with her and Daddy, too. Daddy always kept his cell phone with him. Macy never left home without hers either. It was like her third ear.

  It would be getting dark soon. Macy knew that Daddy would never let her drive as far as the L.A. Airport in the dark with just her and me. Now we'd have to wait until a flight out tomorrow. I was pissed. I carried my suitcase into the living room and turned on the T.V. I fell asleep on the couch and didn't wake up until I heard the doorbell ringing. It was almost light outside.

  "Big Mama! Paw-Paw! What are you guys doing here?" I asked excitedly.

  They had solemn looks on their faces. A man in a uniform stood next to them. I looked past them all and spotted his patrol car in the driveway. Another officer was helping someone from the back seat.

  "Bari, he drove us over from the hospital."

  That was all I heard.

  "No. No! Noooo!"

  Paw-Paw picked me up in his arms and held me tight while Big Mama stroked my hair.

  "Baby, those people at that hospital did everything they could to save your daddy's life. Macy, she died instantly. Didn't feel one ounce of pain," she said, as if that would make me feel better.

  "What happened, Big Mama?"

  "We'll talk about it later, Baby."

  "I wanna know!"

  "They were coming home from taking Trish to the salon. They were hit by a drunk driver."

  At that moment, Trish walked up, leaning on the arm of an officer for support. She was in tears. She looked so upset.

  "Why didn't anyone call me last night?" I screamed. "I could've at least said goodbye to Daddy!"

  "We didn't think that was a good idea, Baby. And your daddy never regained consciousness after the accident. He never even knew we were there."

  "Bari! Oh, Bari!" Trish cried, grabbing me u
p into her arms. "This is all my fault!"

  "You damn right!" Paw-Paw roared.

  "Stop it!" Big Mama ordered. "No, it's not your fault, Baby. It's nobody's fault but that fool that was drinking and driving. Now, don't you go blaming yourself, Trish."

  Even though Big Mama couldn't stand Trish, I knew she felt bad for her.

  "What are we gonna do, Big Mama?" I asked through my tears.

  "We'll think of something, Baby Girl," Paw-Paw said.

  "You're coming home with us," Big Mama said.

  ''No!" Trish cried. "Please, let Bari stay with me. She's the only part of Barry that I have."

  Big Mama looked at her sadly.

  "I can't leave Bari here. She should be with her family."

  "I'm family too. Aren't I?'' Trish asked, looking not much older than myself.

  "Of course you are," Big Mama answered.

  "Bari is coming home with us," Paw-Paw said with finality. "We'll stay here long enough to bury my boy, then we're leaving. And we're taking Bari with us." Trish burst into tears and ran from the room. "Leech," Paw-Paw said when she was gone.

  Big Mama shushed him up and walked me to my room. She sat with me on my bed while I cried with my head on her lap. Trish didn't leave her room for the rest of the night. When I saw her the next morning, she looked like hell.

  "Bari, you do know that if you go home with your grandparents, the court can take you from them and send you back to your mother, right?" My head snapped up. I looked at her wide eyed. She nodded sympathetically. "Yes, Sweetheart."

  I never heard her mention my mother before.

  "Are you sure? I better ask Paw-Paw."

  No!" She jumped up to stop me. "You don't want to worry them anymore. They just lost their son and their grand-daughter. Promise me that you won't tell them what I'm about to tell you." I promised her. "I called a friend of mine this morning. He's a lawyer. He told me that if you leave the state of California, you must return to your birth mother. He said that the only way you won't be returned is if l agree to take you in."

  "Trish, you have to let me stay here with you! I can't go back there with her!" I said, my voice rising in panic.

  "Don't you worry, sweetheart. I'll take care of you. I promise." She hugged me close to her.

  My grandparents came in.

  "How you feeling this morning, Bari?" Big Mama asked.

  I could tell she had been crying for a long time.

  "I'm fine, Big Mama. Um, Big Mama, Paw-Paw, I made a decision last night. I want to stay with Trish."

  Chapter 10

  "I can't believe your daddy only left me twenty thousand dollars," Trish whined as we sat on the living room couch.

  It had been six months since my daddy's death, and Trish and I had been at his attorney's office viewing the video of his will. We moved out of the big house and into a two bedroom apartment to 'save money', as Trish put it. I had switched schools and was now going to a public school in South Central L.A. I hated it. I wanted to go back to the private school my daddy had intended for me to graduate from. Needless to say, Big Mama and Paw-Paw were furious about these drastic changes in my life. Many times they asked me to please reconsider my decision to stay with Trish and move in with them. I couldn't tell them that to leave Trish would mean being forced back into my mother's home. That wasn't happening in this lifetime or any other.

  "Trish, that's still a lot of money."

  "I'm his wife," she snapped. "I should have gotten much more. You're only sixteen. What do you need with all that money?"

  "You're only twenty. What do you need with it?"

  I was shocked that the majority of Daddy's estate had been bequeathed to me. The big house, among other properties and businesses that I had no idea he even owned, and nine hundred eighty thousand dollars. I would get monthly payments until my twenty first birthday and then I would get a lump sum. There was a knock at the door.

  "Go to your room, Bari."

  "I'm sixteen years old. You don't send me to my room like I'm a kid or something."

  "Fine then, maybe I’ll send you back to Boudine."

  I looked at her in astonishment. Why would she even let that come out of her mouth, even in fun?

  "That's not funny, Trish."

  "It wasn't supposed to be. Check this out, Bari, if you're going to live with me you're going to do what I tell you to do, and you're not going to be mooching off me, trying to catch a free ride. You're gonna pay for this shit. I could have easily let the courts take you back to Boudine. If that's how you want to do it, just say the word. You might have gotten away with that spoiled brat shit with your Daddy, but I ain't your Daddy. You got all that mutha fuckin' money, and you ain't did shit to earn it."

  The knock at the door was persistent.

  "And I guess you were out slaving in the fields while the rest of us slept? You didn't do a damn thing to merit my daddy's money or his love. You're just mad ‘cause I had both."

  I should have seen her hand cutting through the air towards my face, but I was too angry, too angry to feel the sting as her hand made contact with my face. I just stood there staring at her, tears welling up in my eyes. This bitch was outta control.

  "Now, take your black ass to your room, and I ain't playing," she ordered as she went to open the door.

  I walked to my room and closed the door behind me. She ruined my whole damn life. I couldn't stand her ass. It seemed like all my life consisted of now was trips to the hair and nail salon, trips to a giant shopping center called a swap meet and frequent visits from her friends. All they seemed to do is drink and smoke and see who could talk the loudest. I didn't care about hair, nails and clothes. It wasn't important to me, but I had to do it. Trish said that I'd get clowned at school if I wasn't dressed to impress. She picked out my clothes, my shoes, my underwear, my nail colors, hair styles, everything. I didn't even care enough to argue.

  It sounded like Trish was having a party in the small living room. I heard male and female voices and music; loud music. It seemed they had been there for hours when I finally dozed off to sleep. I was immediately jolted awake by my door being slammed open and bouncing off the thin wall.

  "Get up and come meet my friends," Trish said, her words slurring badly.

  "I don't want to, Trish. I'm trying to sleep."

  "I didn't ask you what the fuck you wanted to do! Get your black ass up and get out here!"

  She snatched the covers off me. I was sleeping in a short light blue nightgown and barefoot.

  "I'm not going out there like this!"

  She grabbed a handful of my hair and dragged me from the bed onto the floor.

  "When I tell you to do something, bitch, you do it! I'm sick of this back and forth bullshit! You ungrateful little black monkey. Black ass! You should be glad I even want my friends to see your ass! Acting like you're too fuckin’ good for somebody! Now get your ass out here! Now!" I walked towards my dresser and was about to find something to throw on. "I said now!"

  I stared at her in disbelief.

  "Trish ..."

  "Now!" She pushed me towards the door. "If you don't want to go out there then I'll bring them in here," she said with an evil smirk on her face. "Now go."

  "No. Bring them in here then."

  I headed for my bed. They could just see me under my covers.

  "Bitch!" She flew at me before I reached my bed. She grabbed my hair and started dragging me out the door. The carpet burned against my knees. "You wanna get up now and quit playing? Or do you need me to escort you further?"

  I stood up and made an attempt to cover myself with my hands. The room was silent. Everyone was looking from her to me; back and forth. I had never felt so humiliated in my life.

  "What the ..." I heard someone ask.

  "This is my step-daughter, Bari, y’all. She's gon' dance for y’all."

  I stared at her in shock, as tears ran down my face.

  "Aw Trish, you trippin'. This shit ain't cool," One of her male friends
said. "Let that girl go back to bed."

  “Ay, I'm 'bout to go," someone else said. "I don't like this shit. You're sick, Trish."

  "She wants to do it! I ain't making her do shit! Tell 'em, Bari! Tell 'em you wanna do it!"

  She looked at me and silently demanded that I not cross her. I shook my head anyway. I would take whatever consequences I had to later.

  "Trish, leave her alone! Go back to your room, baby."

  Some dude got up and started walking towards me. I braced myself for what I thought was coming. He draped his jacket around my shoulders, walked me back to my room and closed the door.

  "Thank you," I cried.

  I got under my covers and buried my face in my pillow.

  ''No, problem. I have a little sister. I wouldn't let nobody treat her like that. How old are you?" he asked, sitting on the edge of my bed.

  "Sixteen," I sniffled.

  "Why are you here with her? Where are your parents?"

  "My father, that was her husband, died six months ago. My mother is not someone I want to live with. She's as bad as Trish, but I didn't know Trish was this bad. She's never acted like this."

  "Then you don't know Trish. She's a bitch. A scandalous bitch."

  "Why do you hang around her then?" I asked.

  "I don't. My brother does. That's him sitting by the kitchen. She's his friend. I can't stand her ass."

  "How old are you?"

  "Eighteen."

  "He's your older brother?" He nodded. "Trish makes me sick. She's always doin' some stupid shit."

  "Thank you for helping me." I said, wiping my eyes.

  "Don't trip. Ay, if you don't mind, I'll just hang out in here with you until it's time to leave."

  "I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean, Trish isn't gonna like that. She's already mad at me."

  "I don't give a fuck about Trish or what she thinks. Or, are you worried about what might happen after we leave?" I nodded. "That's fucked up. Look, take this. If you need anything, you call me okay?" He wrote his phone number down on a piece of paper and pressed it into my hand. "Don't be scared to call. You can call anytime of the day or night. You understand?"

  I nodded again. I heard a loud banging sound, then once again the door to my room bounced off the wall.