She was shaking her head, ponytail flopping. “No, it’ll have to be mine. Branding. Company image, etc. Also, I don’t trust them in the back of a car. I have the back of the SUV divided properly to fit deliveries. I’ll leave the keys on the counter, as well. Thanks, Aiden.”
God, he was actually going to drive that thing. For her. “Thank you. I know you don’t owe me anything, but I appreciate it. I’m not the same guy anymore, Nat.”
She sighed. “Some things never change. People don’t change, that’s what I figured out. They don’t change, and it’s a waste of my time trying to make them change. I only end up getting hurt in the process.”
She stared into his eyes and guilt swam through him, but he didn’t look away. “Maybe some people can’t change. Maybe some people are capable of change for the right person,” he said, resisting the urge to pull her to him, to whisper the truth. To make her realize she didn’t need to change him anymore, it wasn’t her burden, he’d already changed for her.
“That sounds like wishful thinking. Naive thinking. I’m not that girl anymore. Excuse me, I gotta go.”
He didn’t move. “I don’t want us to be like this. I’m here for a few more weeks.”
“Great. I think it’s nice that you’re here to support your father. You’ve been gone for years. We didn’t part on the best of terms, if you recall.” She sighed. “What is it you expect of me? Aiden McCann is back in town, let’s roll out the red carpet. Seriously? You being here for eight weeks in no way impacts my life.”
Ouch. “What if I stayed longer?”
“Then that would be nice for your father.”
“For you. What if I stayed for you? What if I told you I’d be willing to leave it all behind me? I’d give it all up in a second if it meant you’d give me a second chance.”
She didn’t say anything for a long moment, the rain touching and bouncing off her pink baseball cap. And then her eyes welled, and she rolled her eyes. “Why are you even saying this?”
“Because I never got over you. No woman I’ve ever met has come close to being anything like you, Nat.”
She winced. “You mean gullible and naive and stupid?”
That’s what she thought of herself? That was on him, because of what he’d done. He took a step closer to her. “I mean, sweet, idealistic, smart. I mean, beautiful, caring, compassionate. Hot.”
Her mouth parted slightly, and he fought the urge to tip up her baseball cap and kiss her.
“Don’t lie to me,” she whispered, her voice sounding as though she were being tortured, as though it had just happened yesterday. He got that. Sometimes it felt like that for him, too.
“I’m not lying.”
“Then why did you cheat on me in the first place?” She held up her hand before he could speak. “You know what? I don’t want to know the answer to that. It was so long ago. I was over you. You can’t come back here and suddenly claim you’d be willing to give everything up for me. It doesn’t work that way. I realized after you left that we were children. Eighteen and twenty-two. What did either of us know about love or relationships? All those plans we had were silly and stupid, and we never would have worked.” The tears streaming down her face made it very clear that she didn’t believe what she was saying.
“We would have worked if I didn’t screw it up. Everything I felt for you was real. Everything we were together was real and so damn good that I regret not being the man you needed back then.” He wanted so badly to tell her the rest, to tell her the real reason he left, and the truth about what she believed about him.
She looked away. He wondered if she was remembering how many nights they’d walked across this bridge. He’d walk her home and kiss her on the front porch until her dad would flick the porch lights and then open the door a minute later. He had always appreciated the man’s warning, had always wanted to be a part of that family. For some reason, her father had trusted him. Like he saw something in him even his own father didn’t. But that was before he’d broken his daughter’s heart.
“None of it matters anymore. We’re different people now, with our own lives.”
“You haven’t changed, Nat. I still know you. I bet I can still make you laugh. I bet I can still make you—”
“Don’t you dare say it,” she said, slapping her hand across his mouth.
He grinned, pulling it off his lips but holding on. “I was going to say, I bet I can still make you smile. What were you thinking?”
He enjoyed watching the flush creep up her face. The glower was kind of cute, too. He noticed she had either not realized he was holding her hand, or she’d left it there intentionally.
“I don’t know what you’re doing, Aiden,” she whispered.
Hell, he didn’t know, either. “I know that I can’t lose you a second time.”
“We’re adults now. You have a business with Dylan.”
“We can run our business out of Red River, no problem.”
“I made a promise to myself—never trust a cheater. And I trusted you. Then I trusted Franco, and he cheated on me as well. How stupid would I be to give you another chance?”
God, he wanted to tell her the truth, so badly. He wanted to see the surprise, the trust reenter her eyes. But then he’d have to be prepared to make promises he wasn’t ready to make. He’d been a lot of things, he still was a lot of things, but cheater…
“I gotta go,” she said, slipping her hand from his.
“I want to take you out on a date. I want to know the woman you’ve become.”
She shook her head. “What would be the point? You and I can never be anything again.”
“One date. Then you never have to see me again if you don’t want.”
She was eyeing him like she didn’t believe a word of it. Finally, she sighed and shook her head.
Well, he might as well be an ass. It would be worth it in the end. “Fine, then I won’t deliver the cupcakes.”
She frowned. “Then I won’t drive your dad.”
He shrugged, bluffing. “No problem. I’ll tell him you said no, and he can take a cab.”
Her eyes widened comically. “You’re blackmailing me!”
He shrugged. “I told you, I want one date. You have no idea how far I’d go to have a night with you.”
She looked away for a moment. “Fine. One date—evening. That’s it.”
“Fine. Saturday.”
She lifted her chin. “How do you know I don’t already have plans?”
“I’m sure Sabrina won’t mind if you reschedule.”
This time she did poke him. “You always were too cocky for your own good.”
She mumbled something about a dimple before she marched off.
He watched her go, pissed at himself. What was he doing? He’d made a promise to Dominic, but he wasn’t the same kid anymore. So what were his options? He looked at her then back out at the river, his past floating by. He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped the wet railing, trying to push the images away. God, it was so bleak when he looked back. Every memory he had was dark, miserable. He couldn’t even remember his mother, and that pissed him off. Dylan remembered. He didn’t. He only remembered the after.
He glanced back in the direction of Natalia’s retreating figure and vowed he wasn’t going to lose her or hurt her a second time. He was going to find a way to do this. He needed to face his past, get her back in his life. He wouldn’t fail her a second time.
No way.
Chapter Eight
Aiden stacked the last pink box in Natalia’s SUV and swallowed the last morsel of the cannoli she’d left for him. It was even better than he remembered. And sadly, this pink disaster he was going to have to drive was even worse than he’d thought.
Five minutes later, he was stopped at Red River’s only set of traffic lights. He stared straight ahead, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. It was proving to be difficult because he heard a horn blaring. With a curse, he turned his head to the right and saw Mrs. Ja
cobs in her Mini Cooper waving at him. He gave a reluctant wave and turned back to stare forward, when he heard the distinct low rumble of a motorcycle beside him on the other side.
This time he muttered a string of curses before turning to the left and making eye contact with Jake, who was motioning for him to power down the window.
Aiden shook his head and flipped him the finger, right before he noticed the police cruiser pulling up behind him. Dominic. Was this a showdown of his past? At least he knew his dad wasn’t in town, or he’d probably be walking across the road.
Thankfully the light turned green, and he sped through the intersection, grateful that this pink monstrosity had good acceleration. Then he remembered Dominic was behind him and would probably salivate at the opportunity to give him a fat speeding ticket. He let out a huge sigh of relief as he took one of the more obscure routes to the ballet academy.
It was fine. Doing all of this was fine, because once he was home tonight, he’d be able to plan his night with Natalia. He didn’t know what he was doing, so he was following his instincts. And all his instincts were pointing him back to her.
…
“Thanks for driving me. You didn’t have to. I could have taken a cab,” Aiden’s father said as they drove the last stretch leading into Red River.
Natalia smiled. “I was happy to do it.”
“I don’t know why my son insisted on me not driving.”
Natalia’s hands squeezed the steering wheel at the mention of Aiden, which of course triggered the image of him at My Sister’s Closet. That unmistakable glint of desire in his blue eyes. The way his gaze had become heated, the rush that had consumed her as she’d stood there. God. It was getting harder and harder for her to resist him. Natalia cleared her throat when she realized several minutes had passed and she hadn’t responded to Aiden’s father. Then on the bridge…the vulnerability that he was showing her was turning her into mush. That would be the only explanation for accepting a date with him, the only one, because there were no lingering feelings. None.
“Well, he wants to make sure you’re okay.”
“Humph. Well, if he were so concerned about me, he wouldn’t have left all those years ago. The only reason he’s coming back now is because he thinks I’m dying.”
Natalia increased the frequency of the windshield wipers as the light drizzle turned into a full downpour. She carefully thought about how to respond. She knew how complicated their relationship was, even without knowing all the details. “Aiden is back here to help you through this. You’re his father. He loves you and wants to be here for you,” she said, reaching across to pat his hand that was on the armrest between them.
He gave a little grump of disagreement. “He’s doing it out of duty.”
“Love. He’s doing it out of love.”
He was silent for a long while, and she drove in silence. The country road was quiet as they passed farmland. Rain beat down on the rolling hills and streamed down the windows. “He doesn’t have to be here. He doesn’t owe me anything,” he said, after several minutes.
Natalia gave him a quick glance. He was staring out the passenger window. Sometimes, despite his age and weathered appearance, she could see glimpses of Aiden in his features. The strong jaw was the same. So was the smirk. And, of course, the dimple. He’d gotten that from his father. “Aiden wants to be here. I know him.”
He let out a long sigh. “I don’t even know him anymore. He turned out to be a better man than I did.”
Natalia’s heart squeezed. She knew their home life had deteriorated rapidly after the boys’ mom died, but she didn’t know all the details. She knew Mr. McCann had had a drinking issue in the past, and she knew that because of it he hadn’t been able to be there for his sons. But she’d always had a soft spot for him, especially since Aiden and Dylan left town. He’d looked heartbroken and lost and had turned to drinking even harder. Her visits to him began once she started running the family bakery. He’d immediately treated her with kindness, and they had a kind of bond. Maybe it was that they both loved Aiden. Or maybe it was because Aiden had walked out on the both of them. “Aiden and Dylan both turned out great. You definitely had something to do with that.”
“Ah, you’re a sweetheart for always trying to think the best of me. I’m afraid it’s not true on this. I wasn’t…I wasn’t a good father. After their mother died, I fell apart and couldn’t get it together again. I couldn’t cope with the demands of fatherhood.”
Natalia’s heart squeezed as she listened to his tortured voice.
“Their mother was the core of the family. She sort of ran the show. She told me what to do and when, and I did it. I loved those boys, but when she was gone…I couldn’t get back to that place she’d created for us. I’d rather spend my time drinking so I could forget for a while that she was not coming back and that I had to raise two kids on my own.”
“You did the best you could. I’m sure Aiden and Dylan know that.”
He slumped a little in his seat. “I didn’t do the best I could. That’s why they left. I failed them. They were greeted with a bottle of whiskey on the table and an empty fridge when they came home from school. When they were older, they did everything in the house: the laundry, the food, all of it. And they became angry. So many times…” His voice trailed off, and he swiped at his eyes.
She couldn’t make out if he was crying because he was looking out his window. Her heart squeezed, and she felt awful for all three of them. The little boys that had lost their home life, their mother, the love, and the man who had failed them, who had buckled under pressure and was now filled with deep regret. She knew Aiden’s father wasn’t a bad man, but he lacked the strength his sons had, and he knew it and tortured himself for it.
She took the last turn off into Red River, the town sign visible in the distance. “You know, as much as we’d like to, we can’t go back and change the past. Of course you regret what happened, but there’s nothing you can do about it. No amount of self-hatred will change what happened, but you do have today and tomorrow, and the rest of your life, to change your relationship with your sons.”
She drove over the lift bridge in silence and took the turn off to the small street filled with little bungalows.
She shut off the engine once she’d parked in the driveway.
“What if they don’t want that? What if they tell me they don’t want a relationship with me?”
The vulnerability on his face made compassion fill her heart. “Try. I know Aiden. He has a good heart.”
He didn’t say anything, and the sound of an approaching motorcycle caused him to turn and look in his side mirror. Natalia’s stomach flip-flopped excitedly. A minute later, a drenched Aiden, in jeans and black leather jacket, pulled up beside them. If she hadn’t stopped in the driveway so long, she would have been able to avoid this run-in. She didn’t need to see him so soon after their meeting on the bridge. Nor did she need to see him with his clothes plastered to…he walked over to them…all the hard lines of his body. The glass steamed up on the windows, and she could have died of mortification.
“I better go inside. Thanks again for taking me to the hospital today, Natalia. And thanks for listening to an old man’s ramblings. I…uh, you were the best thing that ever happened to Aiden,” he said, before getting out of the car.
She heard them exchange a few words, and then Aiden’s father walked inside the house. Aiden, on the other hand, had one hand perched on top of her car and the other on the door handle. She powered down her window. “Hi.”
“Hi. Thanks again for taking him today.”
“No problem. Everything went well. How was, um, that delivery this morning?”
He flashed her a grin and dangled her keys in the window. “Driving your car was the highlight of my day.”
She burst out laughing and quickly grabbed them, making sure not to make bodily contact. “You’re lying.”
He shrugged, his dimple still there. “So I’ll pick you up t
omorrow night around seven?”
She hesitated.
He opened her door. “An agreement is an agreement, Nat.”
She tried not to look like it was a big deal at all, which it was. A huge deal. She needed to figure out what she was going to wear. She’d have to text Sabrina ASAP. She grabbed her purse and stepped out of the car.
“I can see all the machinations whirling in that gorgeous head of yours,” Aiden said, still smiling, his hand circling around her head. She swatted it away.
“You can see nothing. Fine. Seven. Park in the back lot.”
“Why, you don’t want to be seen with me on the street?”
She gave him a level stare. “Really? Do either of us really need to be seen together? Think of all the people and their reactions if they saw us together.”
Something flashed in his eyes before he nodded. “Good point.”
…
Aiden walked into the family room after saying good-bye to Natalia, frowning as he saw his father sitting in his favorite chair, hunched over a book.
“What are you looking at?”
His father visibly started, snapping the book shut. “Hell, boy, you don’t sneak up on a person like that.”
“Maybe you need to get your hearing checked, because I slammed the front door, yelled hello, and then walked in here,” he said, sitting on the couch opposite him.
His father gave a grunt and then tucked the book between the side of the chair and his body.
“What’s the book?”
“Nothing,” he growled, picking up the remote to unmute the television. The room was suddenly filled with the sound of the news.
Aiden grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. “What’s the book?”
“None of your business. A person is allowed privacy. What if I’m looking at porn?”
Aiden tried to control the bile working its way up his digestive tract. “If that’s porn, I’m going to puke all over this room and have to be admitted to some kind of mental hospital.”
The Rebel's Return (Red River) Page 9
