by MJ Fredrick
“Your hair’s still a little wet.” His hand hovered above her curls, then dropped back to his side.
Disappointment fluttered in her belly and she squashed it. “I’m fine. What’s this I hear about a new job?”
He stiffened. “You weren’t supposed to know about that yet.”
She shoved her hands deeper into her pockets. “Why? I thought I was your best friend.”
“I didn’t want to say anything about it until it was a done deal. Only Brian knew before today.”
“What is it?”
“Designing game software.”
She pivoted and grasped his arm with a squeal of delight. “Seriously? Oh, Cam! What you’ve always wanted!”
“In Seattle. If I get it. I haven’t interviewed yet, but they want to meet me.”
“Oh, my God! When?” Why wasn’t he more excited?
He breathed in through his nose, shoulders straightening. “Monday.”
“Monday. In Seattle. Okay.” The other side of the country. Regret twinged at the possibility of his being so far from her. But if Mel and Angela were right, that was for the best anyway.
“I need to catch the train from Saint Paul tonight or I won’t make it.”
“The train from Saint Paul,” she repeated, working it out in her head. “Why would you catch the train from Saint Paul instead of from Chicago if you hadn’t planned to come for Thanksgiving?”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to.
“You rescued me instead of getting on the train.” He’d made that sacrifice for her. Otherwise, he’d already be on the train heading for his future.
Mel and Angela were right.
“Technically, I was going to get on the train last night. I might have made it back in time.” He tried to smile but it was tight. Why? What was he holding back?
Foolish question. What wasn’t he holding back? He’d been holding back for two years, since Laura died.
“What time do you have to leave to make the train?” she asked softly.
“Around seven.”
Her heart kicked. Only a couple more hours. “I guess it would be stupid of me to ask if it’s a telecommuting job.”
“I’ll have to move there. But, hey, it’s the greenest city in America,” he said with what looked like a forced smile.
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak around the lump in her throat. “I’ve heard that.”
She hadn’t seen him a lot lately, but knowing he wouldn’t be there for her hurt. What was wrong with her that she hadn’t been able to appreciate what she had when he’d been around?
“Mom and Dad said they’d get you home, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
Oh, good, she’d be riding in the car with Angela, who didn’t think Willow was good for her son. That she was right didn’t make a difference.
***
Cam walked downstairs with his luggage, freshly showered. Willow couldn’t keep her gaze off him as he bent to hug his sister goodbye, his hand resting briefly on her round stomach and his eyes misting just a bit as he straightened. He turned to clap his brother-in-law on the back, hugged the rest of his family, lifting both nephews together and bouncing them in his arms, making them giggle before he set them down. He embraced his dad, then folded his mom into his big arms and held her for a long moment, his cheek resting on the top of her head. The older woman’s shoulders shuddered slightly when she pulled back and turned away to dab her eyes. Willow let her own tears roll free. They should be happy, right? This was what he wanted, this was the job he deserved. And he deserved to be happy again.
But she wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet, not in front of his whole family. She made her way around the group, toward the stairs.
“Will?” He lifted his head as if he’d been aware of where she was all along.
“I’m going to the train with you,” she explained. “I just need to grab my bag. One minute.”
“But, Willow, Brian was going to go straight home after he drops off Cam,” Angela said. “He’s not coming back here. We’re supposed to take you back.”
“I’m sure Brian can take me home. We’re going to the same place.” She sought Brian’s gaze, hoping for confirmation.
Brian glanced at his mother, who frowned, and his sister, who gave a slight nod. “Sure. I can take you home. If you give me too much trouble, though, I’m setting you off on the side of the road. And don’t think I’ll feed you in my car like my dumb brother.”
Willow flashed him a smile and chanced a look at Cam, who frowned, but more as if he was trying to figure out what she was up to. She bolted up the stairs for her bag. She shoved in the few things she’d removed for her shower, and turned to leave.
Mel stood in the door, breathing hard, a hand on her stomach. She’d come up the stairs too quickly.
“Sorry,” she wheezed. “I don’t move so fast anymore, and I don’t come up the stairs if I don’t have to.”
Willow pulled her bag in front of her. “So why did you have to?”
“Are you in love with my brother?”
The question, which echoed the new direction of her own thoughts, pushed Willow back a step. But she decided to circumvent it. “Of course I love him. We’ve been best friends forever.”
Mel leaned on the door, folding her arms over her belly. “That’s not what I asked and you know it.”
Willow couldn’t look at her anymore, not when her own emotions were all over the place. Mel might read too much into it. “I’m just not ready to say goodbye yet.”
Mel moved forward and grasped her arm gently. “Don’t hurt him, Will. And don’t hold him back.”
Willow wanted to remind Mel that earlier she’d thought Willow was good for him, but she held her tongue. Instead, she hugged Mel, thanked her and slipped past her to join Cam and Brian on the porch.
Angela was shoving a container of food at Cam. “For the train.”
“There’s no fridge, Mom.”
“I know. None of this is perishable.”
He took it and kissed her cheek, then met Willow’s gaze as she came down the stairs to the car. Brian popped the trunk and she swung her bag in.
“We’d better go,” he said.
Another quick round of goodbyes, Willow getting hugs this time, and then she climbed into the backseat—not easy in a two-door car. Brian drove slowly down the driveway and onto the street, as if he was assessing any damage Cam might have done to his baby.
Suddenly Willow had second thoughts about her decision to come. She and Cam couldn’t enjoy the easy camaraderie with Brian here, especially with her relegated to the backseat. Afterward she’d have to drive home eight hours with Brian, who had never held a conversation with her other than to tease her.
Nope, she had not thought this through, which was out of character for her. She sat back and studied the tension in Cam’s shoulders. Was he regretting her impulse, as well? She wished they could talk.
Brian saved them all from awkward silence by turning on the radio and finding a local classic rock station. Once they got on the highway, he tapped the gas and they took off.
Willow’s phone rang and she wriggled to get it out of her pocket. Realization hit before she saw the display. She hadn’t sent Gwyn the material she requested. She hadn’t even thought about it. Cam glanced back when she said, “Hi, Gwyn.”
“I’m not seeing the file,” Gwyn said with her usual bluntness.
“Yes, I’m sorry, we didn’t have an Internet connection. I’ll see about finding one in Saint Paul.” She couldn’t imagine any place with Wi-Fi would be open on Thanksgiving, but she needed to appease her client. “You’ll have it first thing in the morning.”
Gwyn made an impatient sound in the back of her throat. “I’ll wait up for it. Call me when you send it.” She hung up before Willow could reply.
“You need Wi-Fi?” Cam asked. “I have a stick on my laptop. Brian, pull over.”
Brian scowled but did as he was asked. Within a ma
tter of moments, Cam had Willow hooked up to the Internet and emailing the file. Willow leaned over the passenger seat and watched the status bar, and tried not to breathe in Cam’s scent.
“You think she’ll like it?” he asked. “She doesn’t seem too easy to please.”
“She wants things to be perfect. You know how that can be.”
“Not as well as you.” The email sent, Cam passed the laptop over the seat to her.
His words stung, which surprised her, because they’d always been honest with each other. She couldn’t come up with a response, which earned her a raised eyebrow and a lopsided smile.
“I like it,” he said.
“Like what?” she asked as she tucked her computer back in its bag.
“The design. She might not, but it’s classy. Elegant.”
“Good.” She relaxed a little. “That’s what I was going for.”
Conversation was casual on the drive but not strained. Willow and Cam sang along with a couple of more familiar songs and Brian relented and allowed them to eat the pie Angela had sent.
Too soon they arrived in Saint Paul. Brian found the train station with only a couple of wrong turns. Willow’s stomach clenched and she wished she hadn’t eaten the pie.
“You can just drop me in front of the station,” Cam instructed, pointing.
“I wanted to see you to the train,” Willow protested, then sat back when both men turned to look at her. When had she started talking before thinking? Sure, she hoped she could get a minute alone with him to—what? To tell him that she didn’t want him to go? That was ridiculous, and selfish. She had to let him go, to take this opportunity.
“That’s okay, I gotta pee anyway,” Brian said, turning into the lot and taking the ticket from the machine.
Willow’s heart kicked when he met her gaze in the rearview mirror. Did Cam’s whole family see through her so well?
The three of them walked toward the station, huddled against the wind. Willow resisted the urge to move closer to Cam.
Once they were inside, Brian veered toward the restrooms. Willow suddenly had no idea what to say to her best friend. He turned to her, his duffel hooked over his shoulder.
“You came to get me instead of getting on the train,” she said.
Cam pressed his lips together and looked past her. What was he supposed to say to that? He’d been trying to work out why she’d come with him to the train, without projecting his own emotions on her. “You needed my help.”
She folded her arms, as if daring him to meet her gaze. He willed his longing, his reluctance, to the back of his mind, not wanting her to see his emotions. What good would that do, if he got the job? She’d just wonder, as he did, what might have been. No point in that.
“I would have felt awful if you’d missed this opportunity for me,” she pressed.
He was too tired to decipher her meaning, in her words, in her expression. Maybe he only saw the concern of a friend. He wanted to ask her if that was why she came, to tell him that. She could have let him know back at Mel’s, though he had to admit that he hadn’t wanted to say his goodbyes to her in front of his family.
Not that this was better. Not that he could kiss her the way he wanted to. If he tasted her, he’d never be able to walk away. He curled his fingers tighter around the strap of his duffel, resisting the urge to touch her.
“Just a slight adjustment in plans. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not. I just—” She trailed off as Brian returned from the restroom.
He clapped his hands together and stopped beside them. “You’d better get your ticket and get on that train, baby brother.”
A kind of panic fluttered in Cam’s stomach and he looked at Willow. She bit her lower lip, a signal she was ready to cry. He couldn’t see that, so he shoved his duffel out of the way and folded her into his arms, absorbing the feeling of her against him.
“I’m just going for the interview,” he said into her curls when he felt her shudder.
She stepped back, her gaze focused on his chest, as if she was afraid to look into his eyes. “You’ll get the job. They’d be idiots not to hire you.”
“I’ll be back. All of my stuff is here. This isn’t goodbye.”
“Not yet,” she said, and sucked in a breath as if she regretted saying it.
He couldn’t let that mean anything. He stepped back toward the ticket window, his legs shaking as if even his body didn’t want to go. But he strengthened his resolve and walked away without looking back.
Chapter Four
“I know that feeling, you know.”
Willow looked sharply at Brian as they returned to his car. They’d be driving all night, away from Cam. She couldn’t banish that unhappy thought from her mind. “What are you talking about?”
“Not realizing what I had until I was in danger of losing it.”
She tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m just going to miss him.”
“Right.” He unlocked the passenger door and opened it for her.
She gripped the top of the window and turned to him. “What does that mean?”
“He’s been in love with you forever.”
She shook her head, though the idea had taken hold of her since the overheard conversation, and she’d sought evidence from her memories on the drive here. “You’re out of your mind. Laura—”
Brian scoffed. “Did you ever notice how much she resembled you? Why do you think he started dating her in the first place?”
“She was nothing like me. She was sweet and homey.”
“Not personality-wise, but like I said, he wouldn’t have looked at her twice if she hadn’t looked like you.”
She called up the memory of the young blonde woman Laura had been before she got sick, before she wasted down to a skeleton. Laura was the woman Cam had stayed beside until the end, whose hand he’d held as she died. That love—God, that love. Maybe Judith’s wedding hadn’t been what had made her want more from her life. Maybe Laura’s death had.
Worse, as the image of Laura returned, she did see the resemblance—blond hair, dark eyes, tall, slender. God. God. Why hadn’t she seen it? But as Brian said, too late now.
She dropped into the passenger seat and closed the door, as if that would shut her emotions out.
They’d made it fifteen minutes down the highway, back to Illinois, when her cell rang. She dug it out of her pocket and her heart tripped to see Cam’s number on the display. Why would he be calling so soon? She flipped the phone open.
“Hey. That was quick.”
“They didn’t transfer my ticket.” His voice was loud over the sound of the train station noise, his exasperation clear. “I called last night to change my point of departure to Saint Paul, but they screwed up and now I don’t have a ticket and there’s no room on the train.”
“What?”
He sighed and the train station noise grew muffled. “I can’t leave for Seattle tonight. The train is booked for tomorrow night too. Saturday night would be too late.”
“We’ll come back and get you.”
Brian glanced over at her words.
“Yes. Please.” He blew out a breath. “Maybe this is a sign.”
“There are options.” She hated the defeat she heard in his voice. “There are always options. We’ll be there in twenty.” Another chance. Her heart expanded with hope. Only, what was she going to do with it?
He was standing on the sidewalk in front of the station when Brian drove up. Willow scrambled out of the passenger seat, resisting the urge to hug him. His body language made it clear her impulse would only be returned reflexively. She climbed into the backseat and he tossed his duffel in beside her, then dropped into the seat she’d abandoned without a word.
“How can a train be sold out?” Brian asked.
Cam scowled. “Busiest travel weekend of the year.”
“So no seats at all?”
He turned on his brother. “Would I be sitting here if there were?”
/> “And flying’s definitely out,” Brian guessed.
“Couldn’t get a flight,” he said, sitting back against the seat and dragging his hands through his hair. “Let’s just go home.”
“Oh, no,” Willow said. “I’m not going to let you wonder your entire life if you screwed up by not taking this chance.” If he screwed up by going to get her instead of following his plans. “We’ll find a coffee shop and brainstorm.”
“Finding a coffee shop open on Thanksgiving won’t be easy,” Brian said.
“Don’t worry about it,” Cam muttered.
“Worry about it,” Willow countered, punching Brian’s arm. “Try down that way.”
It was easier than they expected, though the diner they discovered was quiet. Only an older woman dressed in business clothes sat on a round red-vinyl-and-chrome stool at the shiny counter. Willow had to wonder where the woman had been, dressed like that today.
They sat in a red vinyl booth along the wall of windows and ordered coffee. Earlier Willow had sworn she’d never eat again, but now the lingering scent of hamburgers made her hungry. Both men looked at her funny when she ordered a burger and fries, then added their own orders of a chicken salad sandwich and a roast beef sandwich.
“So.” Willow folded her arms on the table and leaned forward. “Can we drive to the next station to meet the train? Presumably people will get off there, right?”
“I asked. That one’s also booked. People get off, more people get on.”
“So the one after that.”
“Hey, you’re volunteering my car for a lot of driving,” Brian protested.
Willow turned on him. “This is your brother’s dream we’re talking about here. I think your car could take him a couple hundred miles.” Then she straightened. “Or a thousand. How far is it to Seattle?”
“Whoa, now hang on.” Brian held out his hand to stop her.
But the idea had already taken root. “I’ll get my laptop,” she told Cam.
He grabbed her wrist when she started to rise. “I already know. It’s two thousand miles. I looked into that before I booked the train ticket. That’s a long drive.”
