Chapter 19
PENELOPE
I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Pep talks weren’t my specialty, so I wasn’t sure how much I was helping my cause. Every time I tried to psych myself up, all my doubts came rushing in.
One’s a king, always a king.
Scarlett’s words bothered me. Mostly because, deep down, I believed them.
Even if she was wrong, was I ready for this? Once Topher realized I was actually Julie, there was no going back. Game over. I’d lose any leverage I had as my chance to get even.
Besides, what was my end game? The truth was that no matter the things we had in common, Topher and I came from two different worlds. Nothing changed that.
The way I saw it, there were only a few ways this could go. He’d be indifferent. Not angry but not happy, either, to discover I was really Julie. He’d be thrilled I’d been impersonating someone else. Or, he’d feel betrayed and completely taken aback and never want to speak to either of us again.
The latter seemed the most likely scenario, given my general luck and history with boys.
I heard the rumble of an engine I recognized as my father’s car, and I glanced at the time on my phone.
Shoot! I was late. Super late.
I took one last calming breath and ran a hand through the length of my hair. The silky tank I wore clung to my curves in all the right places and complimented the dark denim. Red tank, dark denim, just like Julie said she’d wear. It was probably dumb on my part, but I hoped to clue him into the fact I was Julie without having to come right out and tell him. Cowardly, I know, but confrontation wasn’t my strong suit.
I grabbed a pair of cute wedge sandals and sunglasses on the way out of my room and headed outside, where I squinted into the sunshine. It was a beautiful day for a game, and I tried to contain my excitement as I made my way toward my father, whose gaze instinctively shifted to my hands, and I rolled my eyes.
Today’s shade was a bright lemon yellow—the color of happiness and energy. When I chose it this morning, I erred on the side of positivity—good vibes and all that—as opposed to going with my nerves and an unsavory nail color like green.
“Hey,” I greeted, hurrying toward my car.
Scarlett—bless her heart—had gotten it back for me this morning. A friend of her father’s owned a dealership and all but obliterated the skunk smell.
“I thought you were going to some school thing?” he asked.
“I am.” I opened my car door and slid inside, wishing I’d left sooner so I could avoid the twenty questions.
I rolled down my window to release some of the stifling heat, and at my father’s stare, I added, “I’m just running late, but I’m going now.”
“Everything okay?” Dad asked with narrowed eyes.
“Why does my being happy make you so suspicious? I think your parental radar got its wires crossed.”
He snorted as Sara clumsily climbed out from the backseat, and just the sight of her crushed me under a wave of guilt that I’d missed her game that morning.
“Since when do you care about high school sports?” Sara asked.
“Who said it was a sporting event?” My cheeks turned hot.
“What else would it be on a Saturday?”
Dad frowned.
“Well, it’s not,” I said through gritted teeth.
“How come you’re not going with Scarlett?”
What the heck? Was she trying to grate on my nerves? Or maybe this was payment for missing her game. “Who said I’m not?”
Sara shrugged and skipped toward the house while I stared holes through the back of her skull. With a sigh, I glanced back up at Dad, noting the concern in his eye, and I couldn’t lie to him. “It’s a water polo match, but I wasn’t lying when I said it was for a school project.”
After all, it was kind of a social experiment.
“Isn’t Topher on the water polo team?” His shrewd eyes squinted down at me as if he already knew the answer, and I wished he was a little less observant.
“Yes,” I drawled, wondering where this was going.
He nodded and rapped the side of my car with his palm before he said, “Okay, then. Just . . . be careful, and we’ll see you later.”
I nodded, then pulled out of the driveway.
Ten minutes later, I was at Topher’s game, albeit a little late, but I’d actually made it. Kudos to me for having the guts to show in the first place.
I managed to find a spot on the bleachers. With wooden legs, I headed toward the empty seats. Each step up the metal stairs took a monumental effort. Any second, Topher would glance up and spot me in my red tank top and jeans and put two-and-two together. And then . . . the rest was up to him. But my heart pumped wildly inside my chest at the thought.
I ignored the stares of several classmates as I sank down onto the metal bench. Gabby’s gaze, in particular, burned hot on my back. Or maybe it was the bright lights making me sweat. It was hard to tell. All I knew was the sweat beading my brow was due to more than the humidity.
The water glistened, ice blue, and as the minutes slipped by without Topher noticing my arrival, I relaxed. Sinking further into the bleachers, the muscles in my aching back loosened, and I found myself watching the game with rapt interest.
Topher led the Lakers through the first quarter of the game. Even from the stands, I could tell he was captain. He held himself with confidence. Straight back. Strong arms wielding the ball through the water, which glistened off lean muscle as he blocked a shot by his opponent, then stole the ball. The players turned course and swam toward the other net where Topher dropped the ball out in front of him, his face a mask of concentration as he picked it back up. The whistle blew and I glanced around me, confused when I heard someone murmur something about a foul. I’d barely focused back on the water when Topher shot the ball to Mikey who returned it right back, only for Topher to shoot it into the goal and score.
The crowd roared, and I found myself shouting along with them. Somewhere behind me, a parent rang a cowbell. Arms raised, hands in the air, my belly squeezed with excitement as the game picked back up and I started to get a feel for the rules. It was like soccer on water, except you used only one hand and couldn’t touch the ground. It took endurance, agility, strength, and speed. No small feat. And watching Topher so gracefully conquer all of these things gave me a whole new level of respect for him.
I sat back down with a grin I couldn’t hide and watched as the rest of the quarter played out. When the buzzer rang, I glanced at the scoreboard to see Lakeview was winning, three to zero.
Topher and some of the other players pulled themselves up and out of the water as a two-minute quarter break was added to the clock. Even from here, I could see the rise and fall of his chest as he caught his breath and took a long pull of a sports drink.
Then his eyes drifted to the bleachers and my heart stopped.
My chest ached as he searched the faces around me. He did a double-take and knocked my heart back to life behind my ribs. Something resembling a smile ghosted across his lips as he nodded in acknowledgement, but I couldn’t be sure because, as his blue eyes flickered over the fans one last time, and the complete and utter disappointment registering across his face was apparent. Even from where I sat.
The whistle blew, and his face transformed into something fierce before he joined his teammates back in the water, and I admonished myself for being upset. Of course he didn’t realize I was Julie. After all, he had invited both of us. He probably just thought I changed my mind, and as for the clothes? Coincidence.
If he even noticed.
The rest of the game passed quickly. Probably because my anxiety was a ten on the Richter scale. Any stronger, and the cement would crack beneath my feet.
By the time the final buzzer sounded, I’d regained my composure enough to greet Topher with a smile when he approached me.
I tried not to stare as he ran a towel over his damp hair, then slung it over his shoulders
. Droplets of water clung to his toned chest, glistening in the sun like diamonds, and I found it completely unfair how unabashed he was standing there in front of me like he wasn’t half-naked.
Again, his eyes flickered to the crowd behind me and his shoulders hunched. A heavy sigh escaped his lips before he offered me a smile. “Hey, P. I thought you said you couldn’t make it?”
“Oh, yeah. I um . . . had a change of plans.”
He hummed out a response, but his eyes drifted again.
“Are you looking for someone?”
“What?” He blinked, meeting my eyes before his expression turned stony. “Oh, yeah. Kind of. They mustn’t be coming.”
“Well, I’m here,” I said cheerfully, and I wanted to punch myself.
I’m here. Like I was some sort of gift or something when clearly he was disappointed not to find Julie.
“I know, and that’s awesome . . .” His lips pressed in a thin line, and I sensed a “but” coming.
“I thought you wanted me to come,” I said while I pinched the neckline of my tank, fanning myself with the silky fabric. Pathetic or not, I hoped in vain he’d finally, really look at me and figure it out.
“I am. Of course I am,” he said. “Sorry. I’m just distracted.” He shook his head, his gaze falling to my clothes, and he frowned.
I swallowed. This was it. The moment of truth.
Regardless of his reaction, I was ready.
He scratched his head and narrowed his eyes. “Nice outfit.”
“You like it?” I squeaked.
“Uh, yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Sorry. I was . . . For a second, I thought—”
The sound of my pulse reverberated in my ears, and my mouth went dry. What did you think?
He closed his eyes a moment, and when he opened them, they met mine. “I was hoping to introduce you to someone, but she mustn't be here.”
He winced and gripped the towel in his hands tighter. “Sorry. I’m being weird. It’s just . . . I thought she liked me. I guess I was wrong.” He mumbled this last part under his breath, and it was like an arrow to my heart, because I knew that feeling. All too well, actually.
Disappointment settled inside me like lead. I should’ve known he wouldn’t guess Julie was me. He could never think the girl he’d had all those late-night chats with was Skunk Girl. I was an idiot for thinking otherwise. If I wanted to out myself, I’d have to tell him. Say the words, I’m Julie. It didn’t matter that I wore a red top and denim like she said she would. Topher would never guess I could be her because he couldn’t see himself with someone like me.
I inhaled deeply for courage, but when my lips parted and I began to speak, instead of confessing, I said, “Well, whoever she is, I’m sure she has a good reason for not being here. Don’t take it personally.”
The tips of my ears burned, and I hated myself for being such a coward. But I wasn’t ready to face the consequences of telling him the truth. I suppose that also made me pathetic.
“Anyway, all that matters is that you’re here, right?” For the first time, his smile turned warm and he nudged me playfully in the arm. “So, what did you think of your first water polo game? Are you obsessed? Taken aback by my raw talent?”
“Actually, I was.” I smiled.
“Hey, Toph!” Coach Paul hollered from behind, interrupting. “Come here. There’s someone I want you to meet.” He gestured toward a man next to him, ballcap drawn low, dark sunglasses over his eyes.
“Shoot. Be right back, K?” He reached out and brushed my arm with his fingers, and I shivered. “Don’t go anywhere.”
“Okay.” I watched him go, skin tingling in his wake, and I realized how pathetic I was because, in that moment, I’d probably wait forever for him to return if he asked me to.
He jogged over to the coach, and I turned in the other direction, not wanting to stare when a man about my father’s age sidled up next to me. Where he came from, I had no idea. I hadn’t noticed him in the stands, though that wasn’t surprising. He didn’t really stand out among the crowd. The way he carried himself, his demeanor and attire—everything about him—screamed money. Which was typical for Lakeview parents. Nothing special.
His eyes drilled into mine when I lifted my eyes to his. Shrinking back, I angled myself away again, allowing my gaze to drift back to Topher.
“You must be a new acquaintance of Topher’s,” the man said.
An uneasy feeling crept up my spine. “What?”
The corners of his lips lifted, more a half-smirk than a smile. “I don’t recall seeing you around before.”
“Oh, um, yeah,” I said, belying my discomfort. Something about him set me on edge, and when he casually removed his dark shades, the sight of him hit me like a thunderclap. From the golden hair to the eyes and the perfect smile, this man was the picture of his son. This was Topher’s father.
“Which means it must be you putting these crazy ideas in his head.”
I blinked over at him, unsure of whether I heard him correctly. “I—what?”
“Topher.” He moved closer, lowering his voice like we were conspirators. “The path for his future is a very clear one. He’ll graduate at the top of his class, go to UVA, then take over responsibilities in the family business.”
He stared straight ahead at the pool while he tucked his hands into his pockets. “It’s where he belongs. Dreaming about anything else is a waste of time.”
I bristled at his words. The way he talked about Topher with such disregard for what he wanted was completely in line with the things Topher told both me and Julie about his father, and I hated that he had to live with a man who had so little respect for his son.
“I think Topher can decide for himself what he wants.”
He turned to me, the cool blue of his eyes assessing me in a new light while they flickered over my face. A tiny puff of air escaped his lips. “I can’t believe it. You’re Ewe’s daughter, aren’t you?”
My cheeks burned.
He scoffed, then scrubbed a hand over his clean-shaven jaw, and when the scent of his expensive aftershave hit me, I wanted to vomit. “Leave it to Topher to fall for a girl from Hillbrook.”
I swallowed and pushed my shoulders back. I refused to be embarrassed of my father and my upbringing, and just as I was ready to defend myself, he added, “You’re to stay away from my son.”
“Excuse me?” My heart thumped.
“I won’t tolerate anyone putting silly ideas in his head about being some low-class water polo coach, let alone someone of your caliber.”
I made a choking noise, unable to believe my ears. “And if I don’t?”
“If you don’t,” he said slowly, his tone hard as stone, “your father might find himself without a job.”
My mouth parted to speak, but the words stuck in my throat, too astonished to say anything at all.
“Are we clear?” he asked.
He couldn’t be serious. “My father is one of your hardest workers.”
He shrugged. “He’s just one guy. There are hundreds more standing in line to take his place.”
His words stabbed in my chest. I’d felt like an imposter in the halls of Lakeview almost every day for years, but hearing someone refer to my father that way—indispensable, irrelevant, invisible—hurt me in ways I couldn’t explain. And I knew as I stood there, staring into Mr. Elliot’s eyes, that I'd never be good enough. Not for Topher or anyone else from Lakeview. Not as long as they saw me as less than.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Topher shake hands with the man in the glasses before he started toward me with one final glance at the now-empty stands as if Julie might materialize out of thin air.
I took a step back as Mr. Elliot walked around me, heading for his son just as Gabby and Xia appeared and joined them. They hurried to Topher’s side, smiling as his father sidled up next to them, and they all laughed at something he said.
My throat constricted, but I swallowed back my rising emotion and took a long l
ook at them because this was reality. I’d never fit in. Topher belonged with someone like Gabby and Xia. Someone like the fictional version of Julie. Someone pretty and popular. Someone who lived in Lakeview or one of the other affluent cities. Not the shy, awkward girl with a nonexistent social life from Hillbrook.
As much as it hurt to admit, I did like Topher. But he liked someone else, and that someone else was me; he just didn’t know it. But what would he do when he found out?
After I left Topher’s game, I drove around Lakeview. Dad wasn’t expecting me home until much later, so I had the time to spare since the whole Julie revelation went to crap.
I slowly passed by the towering, brick mansions with their inground pools and five-car garages. Pristine landscaping bordered the homes with plush blankets of grass the color of emeralds, all of which were likely tended to by my father on behalf of Elliot Landscaping. Laughter reverberated through my open window from the backyard of one of the homes, but other than that, the street and yards were mostly empty. It was the opposite of my neighborhood that seemed to brim with life. Dogs lounging in yards, kids riding bikes and playing in the street while their parents manned grills in their driveways.
Leave it to Topher to fall for a girl from Hillbrook.
His father’s words clanged around in my head as I returned to my side of town and observed it with fresh eyes. Most of the small homes were in serious need of maintenance. Instead of Porsche and Mercedes dotting the road, old, rusted-out models sat in crumbling driveways. Half of the properties didn’t have landscaping, and the lawns had long since been scorched from the summer heat. No one had the time or money for water sprinklers, fertilizer, or fresh flowers.
When I finally pulled into my driveway, I wondered whether Mr. Elliot was right, and I couldn’t help but hate myself for it. Maybe Topher was better off with the life he had mapped out for him. It would certainly be easier, wouldn’t it? Work for his father, take over the business and marry someone like Gabby that was already groomed for that kind of life.
Hate Notes: A Sweet Enemies to Lovers Young Adult Romance (Lakeview Prep Book 1) Page 14
