She looked as lovely and pure as the Virgin Mary.
Not that I was alive during that time.
This wasn’t the type of feeling I’d get after a good fuck. Charlotte wasn’t some fan girl willing to spread her legs at my word. She was an educated woman who had made something of herself.
Charlotte snored softly as I watched her. She was out cold after our very athletic lovemaking. I had never poured so much of my skill into one fuck. I had pulled out all the stops for her.
Something about that woman awoke something primal in me. I had connected with her in a way that went beyond the mere physical. I could chalk it up to our time studying together but it was something else. This definitely wasn’t some one-night stand I would forget about in a week’s time.
I couldn’t help but despise myself for laying with her. I was a self-destructive womanizer who chased after the next high. She deserved a mature man who would always be there for her.
Someone like Howard.
It was a cruel joke that I lived and he didn’t. I wondered when I would follow him to the grave. Rock stars tended to have a short lifespan. If the drugs and hard living didn’t do you in, then the grind of performing would wear you down well enough.
My morbid thoughts were cut short by a buzzing sound.
I heard it emanate from Charlotte’s purse. It had to be her phone. Someone was probably worried about her. On the other hand, the crew knew I liked to ditch the after party from time to time.
It was a bit sneaky of me go through her purse. Nevertheless, I fished it out. It was a text message. Charlotte’s default settings allowed a preview of it. My reading skills had improved enough that I could make it out.
My heart stopped when I read the text. “’Charlotte, when will you give me Heath’s coursework? I need to know how badly he is doing. Remember, he can’t know about this. - Jared.’”
Just like that, I came crashing down to earth like Icarus.
I felt less and less like a world famous rock star and more and more like an unwanted orphan.
Charlotte wasn’t here to be my lover. She came here to teach me to less of an idiot than I already was. Worse, I had confided in her and told her my secrets.
I wondered what else she had told Jared and the other members of management. Had she told them about my self-doubt? How I compared myself unfavorably to Howard? How I yearned for the past? How I felt so ashamed about being an illiterate orphan whose parents beat him?
I almost wanted to laugh.
The great Heath Lawrence had been the one to be seduced and discarded.
I was nothing more than a roadblock to another paycheck. For all that talk about helping me, Charlotte knew I was a complete and utter lost cause. She had probably sent daily reports to Jared and the others about how much of a fucking idiot I was.
It hurt.
It hurt worse than cutting myself on a liquor bottle and having the wound doused with high proof alcohol. I had opened myself to her in a way I hadn’t with any other woman. Not even Megan.
I put her phone back where I found it. Turning around, I glanced at her sleeping form. Charlotte looked so peaceful and innocent. Her every word sounded sincere.
Did I really know her?
She had got me good. I had been played by a master. For the first time in years, I had actually thought someone gave a damn about me.
I wanted to drink the entire fucking minibar but I was too emotionally exhausted to even open up a beer bottle.
The last person I could count on was scattered across the Irish Sea. My management only saw me as their personal bank-o-mat. My bandmates hated me. Now, Charlotte told bold faced lies to my face.
The worst part was that I had feelings for her. I had never made love to a woman like that before. The woman drew something extraordinary out of me. It had actually made me feel like a decent human being who could love and be loved in return.
I would always be Heath Lawrence the orphan with no family to call his own.
My decision was made.
I would fuck Charlotte Rosen. I would not love her. I would not give into the feelings I had developed for her.
She would be just another pair of tits to me. I’d fuck her and forget about her like all the other girls. I’d just have to forget how amazing this night felt.
I’d tell myself I didn’t love every second of it. I’d convince myself that I hadn’t come so hard. Or the way her smile made my heart race.
Or how I felt loved for the first time in years.
It was only natural for me to lie to myself. My management had tricked me into signing some devil’s contract. Now, Charlotte was secretly communicating with Jared about me. What was another to the pile, even if it was from me?
I wanted to burrow into the ground and die. I just couldn’t deal with my job anymore. Lucky for me, this tour wouldn’t be over for quite some time.
I’d be with Charlotte for at least another six months.
I wondered how much more she would send to Jared and the others at management. They probably got a laugh off at how I could barely write a legible sentence. I wasn’t a human being to them. I was company property.
I didn’t want to confront Charlotte about what she and Jared were doing behind my back. A part of me didn’t know how to confront her. The other part was scared that she would pack her bags and leave me. We had a good thing going, even if it was built on yet another lie.
I was afraid she’d find comfort in the arms of another man. I had never been a possessive man or a monogamous man for that matter. That was the nature of one-night stands.
Easy come.
Easy come go.
I’d even encourage girls to share the love with my bandmates.
Not with Charlotte.
I wanted her to be mine and mine alone. It made me feel like a huge fucking hypocrite. Charlotte was her own woman. Who she decided to fuck or not fuck wasn’t my business.
God, I must’ve sounded like the bleeding heart romantics I wrote in my songs.
I was mad about a woman I didn’t even trust. I couldn’t make this stuff up. I had broken so many hearts over the years that it was finally time I had a taste of my medicine.
I had to say it was bitter as hell.
For the first time in ages, I wondered if this was how others felt about me. I knew I was an unlovable bastard but I didn’t necessarily wanted to be hated. Was I some vortex of unhappiness that destroyed everything I touched?
Suddenly, Charlotte stirred. She rubbed her eyes and then looked at me in surprise. “Heath, you couldn’t sleep?”
I shrugged. “Not after this night.”
It was the honest truth.
I walked towards her and kissed her. Charlotte’s lips were still wet and soft. I had expected my attraction to her to have changed after the revelation. Yet, the woman had this strange ability to make me hunger for her.
Any anger or resentment I had over her secret conversation with Jared was firmly in the backseat. My desire for her took control of the steering wheel with both hands. I had sung about obsessive love that dominated your thought but I never guessed I’d become a victim of it.
I kissed down to her vulnerable neck like a vampire preparing to feast. She tasted sickeningly sweet like those sugar filled chocolate bars that they sold in the States. It made me feel young and inexperienced like a teenager on his first date.
I trailed all across her body. From her firm calves to her wet sex, I tasted her. I knew this frustrated Charlotte when she wanted to go for another round of fucking. I wanted to feel her writhe against me.
I fell upon my knees as I pleasured her wet slit. I suckled her clit. I nibbled on her thighs. I licked her pussy lips.
Charlotte drooled onto the bed as she buried my head into her with both hands. She moaned and said. “Fuck me, Heath. Please fuck me!”
I knew this wouldn’t end well. I had been an expert at predicting disasters on account of initiating so many of them. There was no way this wou
ld work. Charlotte was supposed to be my private tutor. I was a rock star on probation with a tour to finish. If I didn’t pass the GCSE, I would be out of a job.
Worst of all, I was beginning to fall for Charlotte. She would hate me for it but the smart thing to do would be to take a step back. We wanted each other and I knew I couldn’t resist her. However, I wasn’t even sure I could trust her.
“Maybe later,” I said, getting off from the bed. Whatever was going on with her and my record label’s management, I knew she genuinely wanted to fuck me. “I’m feeling a bit tired.”
Charlotte fell back onto the bed and nodded in disappointment. “Okay.”
Putting on my pants, I glanced at Charlotte. I didn’t want to destroy her. For both of our sakes, I’d best keep my distance.
I’d fuck her but I wouldn’t love her.
He was hot.
Making love to Heath felt like playing with fire. It was a game to stay as warm as I could without getting burnt. With each new day, I would test my boundaries.
Each session brought new revelations. It was like jumping from a wildfire and into the molten core of the earth. Heath knew exactly what to do to me. He knew the right words to say so I would get wet and ready for him.
I had never met a man so warm and passionate.
Then he was cold.
Like flicking a switch, Heath could change so much that I would barely recognize him. He would become cold towards me when he left my bedside. I didn’t know whether it was roleplaying or if the sex had changed our relationship for him.
At the very least, he seemed to be taking his studies more seriously. Like a man possessed, he studied and practiced with what time he could spare. Heath made substantial progress within a week. I didn’t know what caused this sense of determination but I appreciated it as his tutor.
The vain side of me thought that he was trying to impress me. Maybe that was the secret to motivating a student. You just had to have mind-blowing sex with him. It was a perverse thought but some of Heath’s motivation had to come from his desire for me.
Then again, no one was the wiser when I called him in for a private study session.
Nonetheless, I knew I had broken every rule that I had been taught. We shouldn’t have started a secret relationship. We shouldn’t have been fucking each other. But I just couldn’t resist that big, rock hard…
“Earth to Charlotte!”
I snapped awake and saw myself surrounded by Double Damage in a first class flight. The United States of America was a big country and a tour bus could only go so fast. We had taken a flight to Houston to continue the next leg of the tour.
Thankfully, the flight was a private jet so the band wouldn’t have to deal with any wild fans hitching a ride. We had even taken off on a private airstrip so none of the media would bother us. As strange as my job was, I could get used to this kind of treatment.
This time, Heath didn’t get his private jet. He rode in the same flight as the rest of us peasants.
I turned to face Ryan who had addressed me. “Sorry, I was a little lost in my thoughts.”
“Don’t blame you,” the drummer said, tapping his utensils against the tray like it was a drum. “These long flights are the most boring part of the tour. At least when you’re driving, you have some scenery to break the monotony.”
Tyler scoffed. “Wait until you end up with stranded on the side of the road with a dead automobile during a hot summer day. You guys don’t know how easy you have it with air conditioned private flights!”
Ryan smirked. “I guess this is the part where you tell us how you used to walk uphill through the snow to get your concerts in the good old days.”
This airplane felt like a floating palace. The others seemed used to this level of luxury but I felt like I had been transported into another world. For a small jet, the cabin was wide and spacious. I had room to spread my legs instead of being cramped like a human sardine in a can.
The leather seats were very comfortable with several options to have them recline. The flight attendants were cheery college age girls that fawned over the sexy members of Double Damage. There was even a bartender manning a small bar. I stuck to orange juice since this was going to be a long day.
Nonetheless, they made sure to refill my drink before I could even ask. They even put extra hot syrup on my fudge sundae.
A girl could get used to this kind of treatment.
“What took us so long to liftoff?” I inquired. “I was told by Jared to get here early but it took another two hours before they allowed us to enter the airplane.”
Ryan pointed up to a man roaming the halls. “Mr. Han did a security check on the entire damn airstrip before he gave the okay for liftoff.”
I watched as the Chinese man scanned the aisle like a hawk before disappearing into another section of the cabin. “Was there a bomb threat?”
“No, that’s just how he operates,” Tyler laughed. “Call him paranoid but he’s been through some pretty nasty situations back during his military days. If you want to take up that case against a black belt in five different martial arts, then be my guest!”
I giggled nervously. “No thanks!”
“I hope we don’t end up losing our luggage like that time in Cologne, Germany,” Dave groaned, sipping a beer. The bassist had made full use of the flight’s free alcohol menu. “I had to rent a guitar at the last minute just to have something to work with during the concert. I couldn’t tune the damn thing if you gave me hundred years!”
A very familiar voice spoke out. “Hey, that was a pretty killer sound. It gave me an idea for my next album.”
I looked up to see Heath walking down the aisle with a glass of vodka in his hand. He glanced at me for the briefest of moments before looking up at his bandmates. None of them knew about our relationship. Or they kept their suspicions well hidden.
“Look, what the cat dragged in,” Tyler said. “Got tired of flirting with the flight attendants?”
He shook his head which sent his wet hair tumbling. “No, I took a shower.”
“Wait, this jet has a shower?” Dave asked incredulously. “What the hell!”
“Just have to ask one of the flight attendants to unlock it for you,” Heath replied. “It’s quite hygienic. Touring can be such a dirty business.”
Ryan chuckled. “The miracles of technology. Do they give you free sponge baths while you’re at it?”
“They do but the copilot gives it to you,” Heath joked, taking a seat to my side. He turned to face me. “Enjoying the flight, Charlotte?”
I blushed at the question and chugged down my orange juice. “I should’ve started tutoring rock stars earlier.”
“Houston is a nice place,” he said, nursing his vodka. It was our destination. We would visit Dallas and Austin was well. After that, we would head to California. It went without saying there would be a detour to Las Vegas for a night of gambling. “We’ll arrive in a couple of hours. I can’t wait to hit the road again.”
“Have you toured here before?”
“In our early days, we played as an opening act for a much more popular band,” he replied. “That was when Howard and I were nobodies working for free. We had our first show at this place called the Arena Theatre.”
CLASS ACT (A BRITISH ROCKSTAR BAD BOY ROMANCE) Page 11
