“But it must have been embarrassing,” Gwyn said.
“I have never once been embarrassed by the desires of another,” Sharak said. “I am pleased that your body found a way to subdue the metamorphic transition. Given what little I understand of the condition, it was an unexpected and entirely welcome development.”
“It was,” Gwyn agreed.
The doors to sickbay swished open and Lieutenant Kim entered. Gwyn pushed off the biobed and stood beside it.
“How is she doing?” Kim asked immediately of Doctor Sharak.
“Lieutenant Patel has survived a massive trauma. She will be monitored constantly for the next several hours,” Sharak replied.
Turning his attention to Gwyn, Kim said, “I’m headed over to Galen. She just got back. Doctor Sal is still there and asked me to bring you over with me.”
“I’m awfully tired, Lieutenant Kim. And Doctor Sharak just gave me a clean bill of health. Can it wait?”
Kim shrugged. “I hate to disappoint her, but given all you just went through, I’m sure she’ll understand. Why don’t you head to your quarters and get some rest. I’ll take the heat for disappointing Sal.”
“Thank you,” Gwyn said, incredibly relieved.
“Thank you for bringing our friends home.”
Something small and angry within the ensign suddenly reared its head.
“It shouldn’t have been necessary,” Gwyn said softly.
“I beg your pardon?”
“When you made contact with Devi’s team and told them they would have to leave the data they had acquired behind, did she argue with you?”
Kim seemed taken aback by the question. “I don’t remember,” he said. “We were dealing with a number of emergency situations at the time. Our focus was on making sure that all of our crew members made it off the surface alive.”
“Of course it was,” Gwyn said, “but think for a minute. Did she tell you how important what she had learned was?”
Kim searched his memory. “She requested permission to transmit the data over the comm line we had established. Commander Torres refused to allow the attempt. None of us were sure how stable that line was, and it was our only possible conduit for the remote transporter that Torres was creating.”
Gwyn’s spine stiffened. “If it had been Seven on the planet and she had been the one to insist that her data was every bit as important as the lives of those who had gathered it, would you have done the same?”
Kim did her the courtesy of seriously considering the question. Finally he said, “I don’t honestly know. Seven has a way of making everyone around here feel like we’re working for her. If she’d put her foot down, we might have spent a few more minutes trying to devise a work-around.”
Gwyn turned to look at Patel’s sickly pale face.
“And because you didn’t, Devi made a call all of us are prepared to make, but none of us should have to,” Gwyn said. “Ask yourself why Seven’s insistence would have mattered more than hers. Devi graduated near the top of her class from the Academy and she has served this ship for four years. She’s a Starfleet officer, not as experienced as you or the rest of our commanders, but every bit as bright.
“You didn’t have any idea that she would risk her life to make sure you learned what she had down there. It never occurred to you that she would do anything but accept your decision, because no matter what, you know better.”
“That’s what being in command is, Gwyn. We don’t always make the right call, but we live with whatever call we make. And I would have much preferred for that planet’s secrets to have remained hidden forever than for her to have suffered as she obviously did.”
“She knew better. She knew how valuable that data was. You dismissed her, as you do many of us who are newer to this ship and this fleet. And your lack of respect for her told her everything she needed to know about the value of her own life to this fleet.”
Kim paled slightly. “You don’t have to tell me about serving in the shadows of great men and women, Ensign,” he said. “I did it every day for seven years before I was even acknowledged with a promotion. When we sign up to serve Starfleet, we do it where and how we are needed most. It isn’t about us as individuals. It is about the greater good for the most people at any given time.
“I understand the choice she made better than you can possibly imagine,” Kim continued. “And I understand why you did what you did as well. Had it gone any other way, you might be dead or your career might be over and that would have been a tremendous loss to us.”
“I thought the point of this mission was for all of us to get a chance to show what we can do. But the minute things got tough you and the rest of our commanding officers reverted to business as usual. The point, Lieutenant Kim, is that you don’t know. You haven’t taken the time to get to know those of us who weren’t with you for seven years. You don’t know what we’re capable of and every time you pass over us or silence us, you’re missing out on valuable perspectives.
“This mission was cut short, but please, don’t let the idea behind it, the belief that everyone here has a contribution to make beyond keeping their head down and following orders, end too. You need to set a better example for your fellow commanding officers and for the child you have brought into this universe.”
Kim stepped back. “How did you . . .”
“I’m . . . I’m sorry,” Gwyn said, backtracking quickly. “I was undergoing medical evaluation on the Galen and I saw her there. I have no intention of sharing that information with anyone else. You and Lieutenant Conlon are her parents, and any and all decisions regarding her are yours to make.”
And by the way, I just suffered the torments of the damned in an attempt to save Lieutenant Conlon’s life, almost followed that statement, but Gwyn bit it back.
“Thank you for understanding, and respecting our situation,” Kim said.
Gwyn couldn’t have done otherwise. It was possible that in the days and years to come, no one other than her parents would ever love that child more. But the truth of the choice Gwyn had made was that she would forever after be the one person in the universe who knew the child best. Even now, if she brought the baby to mind, she could feel the fluttering heart and a sensation of warm weightlessness.
Finally, Gwyn understood what her leedi truly was and had always been. Sharing that truth with Gwyn’s mother had obviously been a great comfort to her. Gwyn had thousands of memories of the two of them chatting quietly over triaka tea. She used to wonder what they were talking about. She didn’t wonder any longer.
Gwyn would be denied that. She had no idea how Kim or Conlon would react to what she had done and, for now, she had no intention of finding out. It didn’t matter. If it did in the future, Gwyn would cross that bridge and set it aflame if necessary, to make sure that this tiny human, who was now and forever part of her body and soul, had everything she needed to be happy and healthy.
“I appreciate what you’ve said, Gwyn,” Kim finally admitted. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“Good.”
• • •
Ensign Icheb hadn’t been back on Voyager for half an hour after Galen entered transporter range when there was a chime at his door.
Lieutenant Bryce didn’t bother to ask permission to enter. He simply did, as soon as the door opened enough to grant him access.
“Phinn, I . . .” Icheb began.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Bryce said. “I mean, I’m glad we’re all okay, obviously. I spent most of the last several hours contemplating my life ending. Well, honestly much of that time was devoted to analyzing our shield geometries to see how far I could push them when it came to surviving the death of a star system and a spherical asteroid belt that was about to become a galactic blender, and by the way, I have a few theories I need to run by you. But honestly, the thought of me dying didn’t bother me nearly as much as the thought of other people’s lives ending. Especially people who were traveling on vessel
s that are too small to integrate multivector subspace minivariables into deflector control and who lack the personnel to attempt those modifications. Frankly, I don’t know if you or I should spend very much time in the future aboard the Galen. She’s pretty, but she’s a death trap in a lot of ways and not at all equipped to handle what we were just facing. I know your people put her survival in the sixty percentile range, but my numbers were in the low twenties and I think my math was better.”
Icheb stared in silence, waiting for a moment to interject and sensing it would be some time coming.
“But that’s not why I had to see you right away. I need you to know . . .” At this, Bryce’s breath seemed to fail him and he took several quick inhalations to steady himself.
“I need you to know that I’m sorry. Obviously that kiss was a mistake. I didn’t mean to push you. You’re clearly not ready. Hell, I don’t even know if I’m ready. But either way, it’s not worth it, if it means I freaked you out so badly that you don’t even want to return my messages. Sorry about that, by the way. Six was probably too many. Two was probably too many.”
As Bryce considered the fingers of his hands, likely replaying the contents of each of his messages as he did so, Icheb stepped toward him and took both of Phinn’s hands in his.
“Phinn,” he said. “Stop it.”
The physical contact had its desired effect, at least on Bryce. He swallowed whatever he had been about to add and simply stared in terror at Icheb.
“I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your messages. There was a lot going on. Some of which I can’t even tell you about. The part that I can will take some explaining. But you didn’t do anything wrong.”
With this, Icheb pulled Phinn close and kissed him gently.
When they both stepped back, Phinn’s face was flushed, but he was smiling.
“Oh. Well, then. Good,” he said.
It was a strange sensation, their second kiss. It didn’t come close to activating the sensory pleasure it should have for Icheb, but there was still something in it. A small happiness that probably had more to do with Icheb’s newfound certainty that no matter what his body told him, the rest of him was fully committed to whatever it was that was happening between the two of them.
“Do you have a few minutes?”
“No,” Phinn admitted. His smile was frustrated and his eyes glistened brightly. “I’ll probably end up on report if the captain finds out I’m here now.”
“As soon as you have more time, let me know. And I promise, I’ll tell you everything I can.”
“Deal,” Phinn said.
• • •
Commander Tom Paris had never been so happy to see the inside of his quarters as he was when he finally ended his bridge duty and entered to find B’Elanna holding Michael in one hand and caressing the sleeping head of their daughter with the other.
The three were sprawled on the family’s sofa, B’Elanna with her feet up.
“Is there room for one more?” Tom asked.
B’Elanna smiled sleepily. “Always.”
Tom sat down on the side opposite Miral and put his arm around his wife. She gently transferred her son to Tom and adjusted her position, sending a pleasant-sounding crack up her spine.
“Thank you. That’s so much better,” B’Elanna said.
“Did you see any of it?”
“Nope,” B’Elanna said. “I heard what happened. Seven’s already burying me under reports and requests for engineering to put together new teams to examine the remains of the planet. It will be difficult without the biodomes, but we’ll figure something out.”
“You didn’t want to watch?”
“I’ve seen death coming for us enough times to know that the only thing I want in my mind’s eye when that moment comes are the three faces here with me right now,” B’Elanna replied.
Tom nodded.
After a long silence he said, “We cut it too close down there. If Gwyn hadn’t broken every rule in the book and stolen that runabout, neither of us would have survived that mission.”
“Shhh,” B’Elanna whispered. “Not now.”
“When?” Tom asked. “When is it going to be the right time for us to talk about this? I love our lives here. I couldn’t ask for a better ship or a better crew. But apparently Miral doesn’t know what her home is. She thinks we left it somewhere behind in the Alpha Quadrant. What if she was right?”
B’Elanna sighed as she turned to stare into her husband’s eyes. “Miral is a child, Tom. She knows what we teach her. If she’s confused about what a home is, or how many ways there are to make a life in this universe, it’s only because we haven’t taught her yet how many valid possibilities there are, or how grateful she should be to have a chance to live out here. We keep shielding her from what we do every day. I think it’s time we started to include her more.”
Tom was surprised. He didn’t disagree, but his own recent fears had been so huge, he marveled that hers hadn’t led her to the same uncomfortable place in which he found himself mired.
“As I sat here for the last several hours contemplating the fact that we all might not survive this time, I realized that the only things I really regret in this life are the chances I didn’t take because I was afraid. I didn’t want to risk my father’s indifference, so I missed out on a lot of love he wanted to give me. I was so angry with my mother for so many years, I almost lost the chance to show her that it wasn’t being Klingon that was the problem; it was not understanding what being Klingon really meant.
“Miral and Michael don’t need parents who abandoned their life’s work to keep them safe. They need parents who will show them every day how to survive in a universe that doesn’t truly care who lives and who dies. Someday they will be old enough to decide for themselves what kind of life they want to lead. Until then, we’re going to show them how good a life spent in service and exploration can be.”
“Okay,” Tom said. “But maybe next time we don’t both go down to the planet that’s about to explode.”
“We saved the lives of four people who would have died otherwise. We were the best people for that mission. We go where we are needed.”
“And make sure Gwyn is always standing by?”
“You’re first officer. You hand out the duty assignments. If that makes you feel better, have at it,” B’Elanna said, smiling.
To see B’Elanna this introspective and forgiving was a rare thing in Tom’s experience. He decided it was time to risk a little more honesty.
“There’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for days,” Tom said. “I didn’t because Harry asked me not to. I’m sure he wanted to do it himself in his own time.”
B’Elanna turned to face him and searched his eyes for a long moment. “Then don’t,” she finally said softly.
Tom knew the surprise on his face was obvious to her. She laughed lightly as she continued, “Harry is your best friend. If he wants you to keep his secrets, you need to do that. It’s no more than I asked of you once.”
“Yeah, and Harry was furious.”
“I’m never going to put you in that position again, my love. Life is too short.”
For the millionth time since B’Elanna had agreed to be his wife, Tom Paris marveled at his good fortune. “You are amazing,” he said, kissing her tenderly.
“I really am.”
• • •
Seven sat in her quarters reviewing the data Devi Patel had recovered from DK-1116. It was nothing short of astonishing.
She only recognized six of the species that had at one time or another visited the planet and attempted to manipulate the Edrehmaia substance. She had never heard of the Edrehmaia, which was a little disturbing. Whoever that species was, they had advanced beyond the Borg, beyond Starfleet, beyond the Caeliar, beyond perhaps any species of which Seven was aware short of the Q.
There were no visual records of the Edrehmaia, only all they had left behind and all that Species 001—another species that had apparently
successfully eluded the Borg—had created around it in an attempt to master it.
Her station chirped, indicating an incoming transmission from Demeter. Seven opened the channel. A few moments later, the face of Commander O’Donnell appeared before her.
“It’s incredible, isn’t it?” he asked without preamble.
“How did you get your hands on information that has yet to be integrated into our fleet-wide database?” Seven asked.
“The planet didn’t explode. It wasn’t a bomb. It moved a goddamned star out of orbit and sent it off into the galaxy toward parts unknown. And apparently one of your junior science officers had the presence of mind to make sure that the only knowledge we will ever get about the species that performed that miracle survived. She’s not even a member of my crew and I’ve already put in for a commendation for her.
“It’s living technology, Seven. Not some organic-synthetic hybrid. Not programmable matter that mimics flesh and blood so thoroughly that you forget the difference. We didn’t even know what we were looking at when we were down there. Humans have yet to conceive of a merging of biology and inorganic matter at the atomic level. Sadly, our experience of life-forms like the Borg will probably limit our desire to even explore that avenue of research for centuries to come.
“But these people, these Edrehmaia? They don’t share our fears. They’re busy reordering the universe to suit their needs. To them, we’re savages painting on cave walls. How much sleep do you think I’m going to be getting over the next few days?”
“I am planning to put together a team to study whatever is left down there as soon as we are certain it is safe.”
“We also need to consider sending teams to find and study the technology in the outer asteroid belt that kept the rest of the system intact.”
“I will add that to the list.”
“Thank you.”
Once she had signed off, Seven set her station to record one more personal message before signing off for the night.
• • •
Kenth Lasren, Jepel Omar, and Thomas Vincent sat beside Devi Patel’s biobed into the wee hours of the night. Furtive whispers had passed between them. How could she do that? Why didn’t she say anything? What was she thinking?
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