'We're going back to my place for a nightcap,' George told her as he shook her hand. 'Will you join us, Kathryn?'
Overwhelmingly conscious of Nate nearby, she shook her head, smiling as she thanked him all the same, and quipping, 'Better not. I have to be up for work in the morning and my boss is a demon to work for!'
And stupidly, she thought later, she was afraid to even shake hands with Nate, knowing the evening had already weakened her too much where he was concerned; afraid just then that even the touch of his hand on her skin would have her eyes showing she had lost any semblance of coolness, so she included him in her goodnight to George and hurried out to find her car.
She had been driving for some fifteen minutes when she saw a car coming up behind her fast. Anticipating that it would overtake, flash past, she kept well over. But it didn't overtake. It slowed down to match her speed, turned when she turned, so that after first suspecting she was being tailed, she soon became certain that she was.
But by the time she drew the Mini up at her flat, she knew exactly who it was who was following her, and any apprehension she had felt at some stranger tailing her had gone. Only apprehension was in her heart that she still did not feel up to being cool with Nate Kingersby.
He was standing on the pavement waiting for her when she left her car. 'I thought it was you,' she said, powerless to snap at him.
'I didn't think you'd allow me to see you home,' he answered, letting her know he hadn't missed the way she had avoided having the last waltz with him, the way she had departed. 'But I hope you'll forgive me. You knew I wasn't happy about you risking that dynamo at this time of night.'
Standing with him, she couldn't deny a thrill that he felt the need to be protective. 'Well, I made it,' she said, not wanting to go in, having to force her feet away from him towards the direction of the front door. Her heart began acting up again as she found Nate had moved too—had moved, had taken charge of her hands, was preventing her from taking another step.
'Thank you for tonight,' he said quietly. "Thank you for
helping to make this evening a night my uncle will remember only with happiness.' And while his touch was working that spell over her, he leaned forward and gently kissed her mouth. 'Goodnight, Kathryn,' he murmured, his voice thickened, and let go her hands.
'Goodnight,' she choked, and went indoors.
With daylight sanity returned, and with it the realisation that she still had over a week to go to work out her notice. Over a week, when the chilly front she had determined to show Nate already had gaping holes in it.
'Good morning, Kathryn,' he called pleasantly when she presented herself at the office.
'Good morning,' she replied stiffly, and if he had been about to spend a few minutes in general discussion on the success the celebrations had been, then she didn't give him the chance as straightaway she got stuck into her work.
Time and time again that day, with Nate ignoring any ice directed at him, Kathryn had to put all her will to use not to melt. And never more so when she took in a letter from one of the files he had asked to see. He didn't offer to take the letter from her but was standing beside her checking the various points while she held the letter out, and it was when his hand hovered over hers as he pointed out the relevant part that her nerves betrayed her.
Her hand started to tremble that his hand might brush hers. Desperately striving for control, she saw that he could not help noticing how the paper she was holding was fluttering as if a breeze had taken it.
Without saying a word Nate took the letter from her and moved quickly to capture her trembling hand before, childishly, she would have put it behind her back.
'What's this?' he asked, oh, so softly, his eyes warm on her face.
Wanting to say something must be pressing on a nerve
but not having even that excuse since her arm had been free, Kathryn stayed dumb, just staring at him, his hold on her hand having her quivering inside.
What her eyes communicated to him she had no idea, but suddenly his face was creasing into a smile. And while she just stood there swallowing and fighting for control, Nate brought her hand to his mouth and slowly kissed it.
Wild longings of wanting to throw herself into his arms took her, but were instantly squashed as she made herself remember that terrible disillusionment she had suffered at his hands.
'Stop that!' she cried, snatching her hand out of his and dreadfully afraid he would take hold of her hand again, that she wouldn't have the strength to resist a second time, bitterly she hurled at him, 'Isn't one seduction enough for you?'
He didn't like being reminded, she could see that as his face darkened. 'You're determined to disbelieve my motives, aren't you?' he said shortly, thrusting his hands into his pockets as if trying to overcome the way she fired his temper. 'Even though I can see you're not immune to me.'
'I have first-hand proof that your motives are more than suspect,' she flung at him. And, unable to answer the charge of not being immune to him tried to make out it wouldn't bother her if she never saw him again, 'Roll on next Friday when I shan't have to put up with you any more!'
It said a lot for Nate's self-control, she thought later, that when it had looked as though he would really let fly, the glint that came to his eyes telling her as much, he took a deep breath, bit down whatever he had to say, and to her amazement strode from the office.
But it was just after lunch the next afternoon that she had a very definite feeling that she had pushed him too far. He was on the point of leaving to spend the afternoon with their biggest client. She knew his meeting would take all
afternoon and that he wouldn't be back before she went, and was looking at his bent head as she took a file of calculations in he wanted to take with him, when, nothing there for her to trip over, her eyes intent on him, her footing went astray and she would have gone flying had he not at that moment looked up, leapt from his chair and caught her.
For a moment she hadn't a clue what had happened, and just leaned weakly against him getting her bearings. And when she did fathom out that she was in his arms because she had tripped and he had moved quickly to save her, she still didn't have the sense to pull out of his arms.
'Did you hurt yourself?' Nate enquired above her head.
She looked up then, was pliant in his arms as she said, 'No, I'm all right.'
His blue eyes took on warmth, went from the wide brown velvet of hers, to move to her slightly parted mouth. 'Good,' he said softly, and then heaven was hers as his head came down, his hold tightening as his mouth covered hers.
Kathryn returned his kiss simply because she felt starved of his kisses. Her arms went up and around him in a mindless world where nothing else mattered as his kiss deepened, he pressed her to him, and drew the very soul from her.
But it was Nate who was first to draw back, loosening his grip on her a little as he leaned away, a smile ready to break, she was sure, as he looked into her eyes. Then very softly he was saying:
'My timing was all wrong before.' And while she hadn't an earthly what he meant, suddenly there was no smile in him, only seriousness the longer he looked at her, and then he said, 'Tell me now, Kathryn—are you going to marry me?'
Pink colour flooded her face as her heart pumped madly and the word yes trembled on her lips. And then those nightmare remembrances were with her again, remembrances of how she had thought he had meant she should be
his wife once before—a voice of truth taunting, you've been fooled by him before—and it steadied her, had her doing then what she should have done minutes ago.
She pulled out of his arms, saw he was still unsmiling as his brow came down at her action, then found that weak though his touch, his kiss, had made her, she still had pride enough, strength enough to reject him.
'Still suffering from a guilty conscience, Nate?' she derided, and regardless of the way his eyes narrowed at her tone, went on whipping herself into squaring up to him— that or give in. 'And there was I thinking
you were too much a man of the world to lose any sleep over the fact that you took some poor little nonentity's virginity!'
This time, as he hung on to the temper she could see her taunts had stirred, Nate did not go storming out, and she just had to admire the way he stuck it out and asked for more when he grated:
'Are you? Tell me yes or no. Are you going to marry me?'
'What?' She found a note of mockery to help her. Tou'd have me say yes? You must think I was born yesterday!' And mockery left, truth alone coming from her with the tortured words, 'You think I'd trust you again after what you did? You think I'd ever say yes? That I would go to the church only to find I'd been left at the altar—It's what you planned for me, isn't it?
She had given him his answer, told him as clearly as she could that under no circumstances would she trust him not to let her down, that whatever motives he had for asking her to marry him, whether they be in recompense for what he had done or if his motive was still that he was out to avenge Rex, then in neither case would she take the risk of arriving for a marriage ceremony only to find no groom waiting for her.
From the firmness of his jaw, from the tight line of his mouth, she saw he had controlled his anger. But it was
seconds before he spoke, and what he said then had her disintegrating.
'I deserve your wrath—more possibly considering the harm I meant you,' he said tautly. 'I deserve too that you have little trust in me.' And there was that in his look as his blue eyes refused to let her brown ones look away that had any mockery and derision in her a thing of the past as, his voice suddenly deadly quiet, he said, 'But just answer me one question.' And while she waited, knowing from his quietly determined look that she didn't want to hear his question, much less answer it, he floored her by saying, 'You once declared that you loved me. Have I by my actions killed that love? Or do you love me still?'
Tears sprang to Kathryn's eyes as she tried to find words to deny that love, tears she couldn't hope to hide, tears that try as hard as she might she could not oust the love she had for Nate. It would survive no matter what he did.
Frantically she tried to swallow her tears, saw him move and knew he had read his answer. And because she knew what his touch could do to her, his movement had her hastily backing away. 'Oh, for God's sake!' rang from her, and then she was racing for the cloakroom.
Ten minutes later, torn between the desire to go home, forget all about coming to work next week, she felt her duty as secretary to the chairman catch at her desire to run away and hide. And pride was there again, pride that said she had a job to do.
Sure in her mind that Nate had left for his appointment, Kathryn came out of the cloakroom. He would be late for his meeting if he hadn't gone, she thought, and he was too much of a business man to risk offending their client. By Monday she, would be more up to seeing him again.
But to her consternation, she found that Nate hadn't gone. He was still in his office, the briefcase in his hand telling her he was on the point of leaving. But, more in
control now than when she had run for the cloakroom, she still had no intention of meeting his eyes.
That was until he came striding purposely through. He came from his office and halted by her desk, and she had to look up then in case he wanted to give her some instructions.
Brown eyes clashed mutinously with steady, iron-determined blue ones—Kathryn's eyes the first to falter. For Nate was looking at her as if to say that because of what he had done he had let her get away with murder. But now, having his offer of marriage refused for a second time, he was not prepared to put up with her vilification a moment longer.
She was sure of it when after tense seconds she heard him move, heard the door close quietly behind him, and realised that without saying a word, silently, he had gone off to keep his appointment.
Nothing had come from him in the way of a goodbye, no comment whatsoever that her eyes were still tinged red from the tears she hadn't been able to hold back in the cloakroom. And had it been all her highly pitched awareness of him that had had her thinking that Nate Kingersby had been pushed too far?
She had to wait until Monday to find out. But she felt herself tremble that his look, if her imagination hadn't gone completely wild, had certainly said he had decided on some course of action where she was concerned.
CHAPTER TEN
As she left home earlier than usual on Monday, knowing she had a five-minute walk to the office after she had left her car at the garage, Kathryn had very mixed feelings about the coming week.
Not for the first time did she wonder, as she had on many occasions over the weekend, why she hadn't said yes when Nate had asked if she was going to marry him. Had she agreed, she thought yet again, then there would be no need to say goodbye to him this Friday.
She was still at war with herself at the thought of what a fool she had been not to jump at the chance to share her life with him when she drove into the garage and handed over her car keys, and pondered again on what was in her that made her refuse what the gods were offering.
But deep down she knew what it was that prevented her from risking that Nate still might have plans to leave her, in the words of the old song, 'waiting at the church'. She knew what it was that even if he wasn't still set on punishing her for being indirectly responsible for Rex's accident had made her refuse. Nate had made no mention of the word love in his proposal. He did not love her. And that was at the root of it.
How could she marry a man whose only reason for saying he would marry her was some quixotic gesture? If what he said was true, that a Kingersby fell in love only once, and for ever—and that must mean Rex had never truly loved her—then how could she marry Nate only to fear every day that he might have met some other woman and found that once-in-a-lifetime love? She didn't have to look beyond his
marriage proposal to know his honour would have him staying married to her. What sort of a marriage would that be, with him yearning to be with another woman?
Still trying to convince herself she had been right to turn him down, Kathryn entered her office remembering, as she had a dozen or more times over the weekend, the impression she had received on Friday that she had pushed Nate too far. The impression that he had taken the gloves off and that just one step out of line and she would find she was being sorted out in no uncertain terms.
But as she greeted him with a civil, 'Good morning,' and received his cool, positively remote response, her brow wrinkled. He had met her civility with none of the aggression she had expected. Perhaps it had been imagination pure and simple that had led her to believe he had taken all he intended taking from her, that he had decided on a way to deal with her!
But she was wary of him. No sign of his aggression so far anyway, she thought as she sat with her ankles neatly crossed, taking down his lengthy dictation. But there was something different about him this morning. Some—what it was she couldn't quite pinpoint. He had always been assertive, but this morning there seemed to be an added assertiveness about him, a sort of positiveness that told her he was a man who knew what he wanted, a man who had decided "what he wanted and had made up his mind to go out and get it.
And that didn't make sense either, for when, dictation finished, she went to rise, he stayed her by remarking, still in that same cool, remote voice he had used from the time she had gone in:
'I want everything cleared up before the weekend.' And not because he wouldn't have her as his secretary next Monday, she soon discovered when he unbent sufficiently to explain, 'I'm taking two weeks' holiday.'
'Holiday?' Kathryn couldn't help the exclamation, and saw his look become arrogant as if he didn't care much that she might be thinking he shouldn't at this particular time.
'If you have no objection,' he remarked sarcastically, and not waiting for her to bite, went on, 'My uncle will stand in for me from Monday onwards.'
'B-But he won't have a secretary,' she said, forgetting his sarcasm while she wondered if he was leading up to ask her if
she would stay on another two weeks—for all the indifferent way he was talking to her wasn't the manner of a man about to ask favours.
'Of course, you're leaving on Friday, aren't you,' he said, as if it was so unimportant it had needed her reminder to prompt the memory. And far from asking her to stay on, he didn't seem to think her efficiency as a secretary was anything out of the way. 'Well, I don't doubt we'll be able to rope in a girl from one of the other offices.'
Kathryn firmed her mouth. She would have got up then and gone back to her desk, hiding her hurt, but Nate hadn't finished yet.
'I shall be out for the next hour or so,' he told her, making her blink, because there was nothing in his appointment book for this morning.
She almost said so, but bit the words back as she realised he was probably popping out to make his holiday arrangements. Though knowing him she would have thought he would have got her to do it for him, or have phoned, rather than waste his valuable time on a personal visit.
'You've got enough to keep you busy until I get back?' he enquired coolly, which annoyed her because he should know her well enough by now to know that if she hadn't she would find something. Apart from the fact that he must know he had given her enough dictation to keep her busy until lunchtime.
'Yes, I think so,' she replied, trying to keep her voice even,
but aware as he must be there that was a tinge of sarcasm in her answer.
'Good,' he said, taking her remark at face value apparently. He then consulted his watch and stood up, about to leave his office, then suddenly he remembered something and stayed to dip his hand into his inside pocket. 'My brother asked me to give you this,' he said. And while Kathryn sat and stared at him wide-eyed, he handed her a letter.
'From Rex?' she exclaimed without thought.
'Rex is the only brother I have,' he replied loftily, which niggled her again, so that at that moment she wanted nothing to do with either brother, and could just as easily consigned the letter unread into the paper basket.
The Other Brother Page 16
