I groaned. “Are you serious? Derek, he’s my partner in class. We’re working on a project together. The only time you’ve seen us together is in the library. And it’s only because we have to work together,” I said. I didn’t tell him that Dominic and I had planned on meeting up regardless of the project and that we wanted to rekindle our friendship. That would only set him off. Also, I didn’t like the way Derek was talking to me in front of my mother. It wasn’t very respectful of me or of her.
“Oh, come on, I saw the way he was looking at you.”
I frowned. “No, he wasn’t. And this is ridiculous. Since when are you so jealous? This isn’t like you.”
“Yeah, well, it was easier before. When you were doing your schoolwork at home I didn’t have to worry about things like this.”
“So you preferred it when I was sitting at home with no friends?”
“I preferred it when you were sitting at home without any guys around.”
“This is ridiculous. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to sit here and let you talk to me like this. Mom, I’m sorry, but I’m going to leave. Thank you for having me. And thank you for the Tupperware. You’re amazing. Please tell Dad that I had to go.”
I stood up to leave, and Derek grabbed my arm. “Where are you going?”
I yanked my arm away and glared at him. “I’m going back to my dorm. And I’d prefer it if you didn’t follow me.”
“You can’t just leave.”
“Oh yes, I think you’ll see that I can.”
I reached over to hug my mother. I knew she was proud of me for sticking up for myself, and I stormed out the house. I climbed into the car and drove back to the college. I was astonished that Derek would talk to me like that in front of her and that he had the nerve to speak to me like that. Since when did he determine who I could and couldn’t see? What was wrong with me? Why was I with a guy that felt like it was okay to treat me like that? Since when did I become one of those women? I was so lost in thought that I almost didn’t see Dominic. He was walking by with a group of guys. When he saw me, he frowned.
“Candice, you okay?” he asked with concern in his voice.
I nodded. “Uh, yeah, long day,” I said without going into detail.
“Want to talk?”
I shook my head. I could feel the tears about to spring out, and I didn’t want him to see me cry. “Nah, I’m good. I have to go, though. See you around,” I said and quickly rushed off. I made my way to my dorm, closed the door and immediately started to cry.
Chapter Nine
Dominic
I didn’t sleep well the night before. All I could think about was how sad Candice had looked when I had bumped into her. I had thought about sending her a message or giving her a call, but it felt too weird to do that. I barely knew her. We might have been best friends once upon a time but she was a different person from the girl I used to know. I had no idea who she really was or what she had been through in life. As much as I hated to admit it, she was a stranger to me after all these years. But when I woke up the following morning, I felt bad that I hadn’t made an effort. I knew that she was battling to make friends and the thought of her lying all alone in her room made me sad. I decided to try and find out which dorm she was staying in and pop her a surprise visit. I was worried that she wouldn’t tell me if I asked her directly.
Thankfully, she was surprisingly easy to find. As my made my way to her dorm, I hoped that she wouldn’t mind the visit. I was sure I was doing the right thing, but the moment I knocked on the door, I regretted my decision. What was I doing? I was just about to turn around and run off when she opened the door. She looked surprised to see me there.
“Dominic? Hey . . . .”
I smiled. She had a robe wrapped around her and I couldn’t help but wonder if she had anything on underneath. I shook my head at the thought and tried not to look at her in that way.
“Hey, I’m sorry to surprise you like this. I . . . uh . . . .” I trailed off, unsure of what to say. I suddenly lost all confidence. “I actually wanted to invite you out tonight,” I said. I surprised myself. I hadn’t even known the words were going to come out my mouth until they did.
“Out?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m not sure if it’s your sort of thing . . . but I’ve been invited to watch some drag racing tonight, and I was wondering if you felt like coming along.”
“Drag racing? Like street racing?”
“Uh yeah,” I said uncomfortably. What on earth had possessed me to invite her? Now that I had asked her, the whole thing seemed so ridiculous and I half expected her to burst out laughing at the proposal.
But she wasn’t laughing. She was, however, smiling at me. “You know, that sounds like fun. I’ve never been to something like that before.”
“Really? Ah, it’s a lot of fun. Hey, you might remember Axel? I used to hang out with him sometimes.”
“Axel? Oh yeah. How could I forget that name? Is he the one we’re going to watch?”
“Yeah, him and some of his buddies.”
She laughed. “Then he hasn’t changed much, has he? He was always a bit of a wild one.”
“He’s even wilder now, if you can believe it. Well, uh, okay then, I’ll pick you up a bit later?”
“Sounds good to me. I could use a night out, actually,” she said, and a strange look came over her face. I wondered what was going on with her, but I didn’t want to ask.
I walked away with a smile on my face, happy that she had said yes. I was surprised, though. I was sure Derek wouldn’t be happy if he found out, but I was too pleased about it to give it much thought.
I busied myself for the rest of the day, trying not to think about seeing Candice later that day and ignoring how happy her saying yes had made me. I spotted Derek talking to his friends and quickly averted my gaze. The last thing I wanted to think about was the fact that I was taking his girlfriend out that night. Although Candice and I had promised that we would rekindle our friendship, and there was nothing romantic about the evening at all. He had nothing to worry about. If she was interested in me, or I was interested in her, we would do something a bit more exciting than drag racing. That was about as unromantic as a night could get.
I asked Candice to meet me outside in the parking lot that night, and when I arrived, I couldn’t help but feel taken aback by her. She looked sexy in tight black jeans and a black top. Her red hair was loose and fell over her shoulders, and the only makeup she was wearing was bright red lipstick that matched the color of her hair. I gulped. She looked so different from the little girl that I had known all those years ago. Back then she was cute, but right now she was the sexiest girl I had ever seen. Despite her modern look she still had a classic beauty about her, and I knew she was the sort of girl that would look beautiful from the time she woke up to the time she went to bed.
She looked surprised when I led her to my motorcycle. A bright red machine that suited her hair.
“You ride?” she asked.
I smiled. “Of course.”
She grinned. “Of course,” she repeated. “All the men in your family ride. How could I forget?”
“Hop on,” I said and handed her a helmet. She put it on and climbed behind me, and I smiled as her arms wrapped around me.
I had told my friends, and myself, that I wasn’t interested in girls, but I couldn’t deny that it felt good to have her so close to me. I just wished she didn’t smell so good, and as a soft floral scent filled my nostrils, I couldn’t help but breathe it in. This was what I liked about riding my bike with someone. We didn’t need to fill the space with words. We could just experience the night air together without a single word passing between us. It was at times like this that I realized just how much I enjoyed riding my book, and how much I wished I had more time to ride it. The guys from the motorcycle club would be proud of me at this moment.
“That was amazing,” Candice said as we climbed off.
I grinned. “Glad you liked it. I haven
’t ridden in ages.”
“That’s crazy. You should ride all the time. I . . . I’ve never been on one before.”
I looked and her in surprise. “Are you serious? You’ve never been on a bike?”
“Nope,” she said.
“And you’ve never been to a drag race before?”
She shook her head. “Nope.”
“Then this is a night of firsts for you, Candy,” I said and grinned.
The race was exciting and every now and again I turned to look at Candice, and I could see that she was enjoying herself. She looked transfixed by the whole thing. I thought back to how sad she had looked the night before, and I was happy with the transformation. She looked happy and excited, just as I wanted her to be. Afterwards, I took her to see Axel, and the two of them immediately launched into stories of the past. Axel looked at me when she wasn’t watching and mouthed ‘wow, ’ and I chuckled. It was hard not to notice someone like Candice.
“It was amazing,” she gushed to Axel. “I honestly thought I wasn’t going to enjoy it.”
“Really? But you still came?” I said.
“Uh, yeah. I felt like getting out a bit, and hanging out with my old friend of course,” she said and grinned at me. “But I didn’t think I’d really enjoy something like this. I had no idea what to expect. But the one thing I didn’t expect was for it to be so exciting.”
“Welcome to my world,” Axel said.
I was just about to ask the two of them if they wanted to go for a beer when we suddenly heard sirens in the distance.
“Shit! I better go,” Axel said and rushed off without saying goodbye. He wasn’t the only one that scattered, as everyone involved suddenly got in their car and disappeared.
“Looks like we better get out of her too. We’re guilty by association,” I said to Candice, and we hopped on the bike and rode off. I took the long way back, just because I didn’t want the night to end. I couldn’t ask her to go out for a drink without Axel around. If I did, it would feel too much like asking her out on a date, and I didn’t want to push her away from me. I wanted her to think that I wasn’t interested in her in that way. She wouldn’t want to be around me if she thought I might actually like her. Although I had to admit, it was hard not to keep my thoughts purely innocent around her.
We chuckled all the way back to her dorm. Looking at us you would swear that we were drunk the way we were acting, but neither of us had had a sip of alcohol that night. Candice was excited, telling me how it was the first time she had ever rushed away from the cops like that.
“I’ve always thought about doing things like that, but I’ve never actually done them. You know, I’m starting to realize that I’ve been far too good my whole life. I’ve been too worried about what anyone thinks about me. And everything I have done is only because my father wanted me to. You know, for once in my life, I want to do something for myself.”
Then, without warning, she leaned in to kiss me. I was shocked, but I didn’t want to stop it. Her lips felt too good against mine. I pushed her against the wall, kissing her with more passion than I had felt in a long time. The last time I had been with a girl it had been awkward and stifled. But this was different from anything I had ever experienced. I had never wanted anyone more in my entire life. But, just as quickly as it had started, it ended as we both pulled away and looked at each other in surprise.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” I said and held a finger to my mouth. I wished her lips were still against me, but I couldn’t bring myself to kiss her again.
She shook her head. “I’m the one that kissed you first.”
“You have a boyfriend,” I said. “And I can’t do this. But . . . oh god, Candice, that was incredible. I should’ve stopped it, though. I can’t . . . .”
She nodded. Her hair was a mess from the helmet and from where my hands had ruffled it throughout the kiss. She looked wild and free and beautiful. I had to resist the urge to throw caution to the wind and kiss her again. But I was not a cheater, and I would not be with her if she was with someone else. It wasn’t fair to Derek, as much as I didn’t like the guy.
“I better go,” I said.
She nodded but didn’t say anything, and as I walked out, I wondered if our friendship was over. I also wondered if I would ever get the chance to do that again with her.
Chapter Ten
Candice
I could not believe what I had done. Had I really just kissed Dominic? Had I really done it while I was still going out with Derek? It wasn’t the sort of thing I did. I wasn’t a cheater. I had never been that sort of girl. So what was going on?
After a long shower, I climbed into bed and thought about my situation. It was all suddenly very obvious to me. I wasn’t in love with Derek. I had never been in love with him. I had liked him at the beginning, but I had only really agreed to go out with him because I could see how happy my doing so made my father. Deep down, I had always just wanted to please my father. And this had become the basis for so many of my decisions. But why was I going out with someone just to make someone else happy? Surely I had to also think about myself.
I thought about Derek then. I tried to imagine getting married to him, and growing old with him. I imagined him getting more and more involved in the political world, while I let my own dreams and aspirations fall to the wayside to support him. I loved my mother, but I sometimes found it so unfair that she was always putting herself second in the relationship. At least she loved my father. I didn’t love Derek, and I knew I couldn’t pretend any longer. The two of us had never truly been happy together. He just wanted to be with me because of who my father was, and I knew that he was pretending too. That kiss with Dominic had just reinforced what I really knew to be true.
The kiss with Dominic. I had never felt anything so amazing before—it had been electric. Never in my life had anyone made me feel the way that he had at that moment. I felt desire, want, lust, and emotion building up inside of me just thinking about it. I would never be able to stop thinking about that kiss. I knew, as I fell asleep that night, that I would never rest until I got it again. Derek had never kissed me the way that Dominic had. I allowed myself to think about it more as I finally drifted to sleep.
I expected to wake up feeling deeply ashamed of what had happened. But the moment my eyes opened, I knew what I was going to do. I had to break up with Derek. I looked around the dorm and collected everything that I could that belonged to him. There wasn’t much but more than there should be. I wondered if he had left stuff here just to show that he had some sort of claim on me. He’d done the same with my room at my parents’ house, but I would have to deal with that another time. If I went back, I would only have to sit and explain to them what was happening, and I wasn’t ready to do that yet. I knew my mother wouldn’t be surprised. I was sure that she knew how I really felt about Derek, and even though she had always been nice to him, I was sure that she didn’t really like him either. She’d never said so to my face, but I had always felt her looking at the two of us with a bit of sadness. One day, I would sit and talk to her about her true feelings about the two of us. I would tell her that I would rather her speak honestly with me than always wondering what my father would have to say on the matter. She was her own person too, and I respected her decisions.
Once I had everything collected in a box, I called Derek and asked him to come and see me. It was the first time that we had spoken since the fight. He’d sent me one message telling me to call him when I had grown up, and I was sure he thought this was just me asking him over to apologize. The moment I opened the door and saw the smirk on his face, I knew I had done the right thing.
“Derek, come in,” I said formally and opened the door for him.
I sat on the bed and waited for him to do the same. But he didn’t. He just stood there, looking at me with that stupid smile on his face.
“So, aren’t you going to say you’re sorry? You shouted at me in front of your mom, and then I had to explain to your f
ather what had happened.”
“What did you say to him?” I asked.
“I just said that you were spending time with some boy I didn’t like. Your mother told him that it was only for a project, but I’m sure he could see that I only got upset because I cared so much about you. Anyway, the whole thing was embarrassing and unnecessary. I’m sure you’ll agree.”
“Absolutely,” I said. “And I couldn’t believe that you would talk to me like that in front of my mother. Look, Derek, things are not working out between us. You probably know that just as much as I do. I’ve put all your things in this box. If I find anything else, I’ll let you know. I know you have stuff at my parent’s house, but I’ll make sure I get all of that for you too. I’m sorry it had to end this way, but I think it’s better for the both of us if we go our separate ways.”
The smiled that was on his face wavered. “You’re kidding, right?” he said but then frowned when he saw the box of his things lying by my feet.
I shook my head. “I’m not kidding.”
“You’re breaking up with me. Really? But why? This is crazy, Candice. It was just one fight.”
“It’s not just about the fight. I don’t think that you and I are suitable for each other. I’m sorry, Derek, but I think it’s best for the both of us if we stopped seeing each other.”
An angry laugh burst out of him, and I quickly stood up. I didn’t like that I was sitting while he was standing. He was a very tall guy, but he suddenly seemed huge and menacing as I looked up at him. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but he was still making me feel uncomfortable.
“Oh, I know what this is about,” he said. “I guess I should’ve seen it coming.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“You’re seeing that other guy. Dominic. Nicky. Whatever the hell you call him.”
“I’m not seeing Dominic,” I said. “This has nothing to do with him. This is about you and me.”
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