by Chris Myers
Jinx cradles my hand hugging her waist and brings it up to her lips to kiss it. “Jonathan wasn’t all bad. Did he make you practice?”
“Not really,” I say. “I wanted to. I would do anything to get a fraction of his attention.” I’ve never been this intimate with any girl. It feels right with Jinx. She wants to know me, not just my wallet.
“That’s sad. My dad showered me with affection. He was good to Mom and me.” She draws even closer to me, wriggling that tiny ass of hers against my groin. Surely, she knows how this affects a guy.
“When Dad got sick, sometimes at night, he cried out in pain.” Jinx’s grip tightens on my hand. “The cancer hurt so much he wanted to die. I didn’t want him to ever leave us.”
I whisper into her ear, “I’ve never been this close to a hot girl and been this still.”
“It’s good to learn restraint.” Jinx laughs. “You’ll need it when Currie starts dating.”
Jinx kisses my hand again and holds it against her sternum, not where I’d like it to be but close enough. My chin rests on her shoulder. I nibble on her ear and then kiss her neck. She giggles, raising her shoulder to make me stop tickling her.
“Wasn’t your dad ever close to you?” she asks. “Protective ever? I miss that about my dad.”
“Jonathan was once. They had an orgy a year after Currie was born. I left her alone just for a minute on the kitchen floor to get her Cheerios. She crept through the sleeping bodies. I was so mad. I took Currie to my room and gave her breakfast. This guy barged into my bedroom and tried to rape me. I was big for my age. I screamed and kicked him. Currie was crying, so Jonathan rushed in. He kicked the daylight out of this guy. The man crawled out of the house and left.
“I was shaking so hard after that loser attacked me.” I hold Jinx tighter against me, and she doesn’t complain. In fact, Jinx turns around to face me. Her lips linger on my mouth.
Her forehead leans against mine as her soft fingers fondle my cheek and chin. “What happened next?”
“I was pissed at my parents, furious some guy would touch me like that,” I say. “That was the only time Jonathan ever held me.” It was the one time Jonathan didn’t feel imaginary to me, like some idol that was unreachable, a figure on the stage caught up in the spotlights.
I can’t believe I’m telling her all this. It feels like the weight of the ocean has been lifted off my chest. “Denage told me his father beat him, so Jonathan must’ve been afraid to touch me, afraid of accidentally going off and hitting me. He never laid a hand on any of us. Once Mom slapped me for back talking to her. He grabbed her arm and told her to never touch either Currie or me like that again. She was petrified because he never spoke that way to her, and he never had to again.”
“Your dad must’ve been badly abused.” Jinx plays with my hand, stretching the fingers out to compare her hand against mine. “He was probably afraid of becoming his father.”
Like I am. “Could be.”
Jinx snuggles against me. If I was any closer, I’d be inside her. I’m trying so hard to be good. She returns my hand to her chest, caressing my fingers. I kiss her again and put both arms around her so that she’s cheek-to-cheek close to me. My tongue follows the curve of her lips.
“I love the way you kiss me.” Her voice is breathy as her mouth pursues mine.
My fingers twirl in the fine red wisps of her hair. “I like kissing you.”
Jinx glances at the bedside clock. “I should get dressed if we’re going to get to your father-son debut.”
“Don’t remind me. You have plenty of time. Take a shower. I already ordered breakfast.”
She kisses me before jumping out of bed. “What did you get us?”
I try hard not to stare at the tank she’s wearing because the big guy squirms in my jeans.
“Everything,” I say. “I’m really hungry. Whatever you don’t eat I’m sure I will.”
I leave and close the door to let her dress in the bedroom and shower. It felt good to get that off my chest and even better to hold her. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone the things I just told Jinx. Not even Mrs. Nowak, and she knows a lot about my family. Because of Jinx, I’m thinking in ways I’ve never thought about girls. She’s not easy, and she’s truly become my friend.
When she comes out, the food has just arrived. Her hair is damp, and she smiles at me. God, I want her. I sigh and shovel a waffle smothered with butter, blueberries, and syrup into my mouth. It tastes incredible after a few days of not eating.
Jinx sits across from me. “You weren’t lying that you got everything.” She scoops up part of the omelet, a half biscuit and gravy, a waffle, and fruit.
She’s not shy when it comes to eating. I’ve been with models that only ordered a salad with no dressing and were full after eating less than a fifth of it, which left more for me.
Jinx forks a bit of omelet. She has really delicate-looking hands. It’s hard to believe she can pound the keyboard like she does or wail on the guitar.
A smile works its way inside me. The girl who called me a pig has slept with me, not officially, and doesn’t see me as a monster. This is awesome. I can’t wait to tell Currie. She’ll be proud of me for this and also for giving a concert for the sick kids with Jonathan.
I’ll have to bite down my hate for Jonathan the whole time we’re playing. It won’t be easy, but I’ll do it for Currie.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
JINX
It still hasn’t hit me that I slept with the guy I once despised. And kissing him. I’m still reeling from that. I’m not sure where we’ll go from here. Lennon doesn’t date, and I don’t want to be one of many, but what he’s done for his sister and me is hard to overlook.
Lennon’s like royalty. Doors open for him on our way out of the hotel, and then the limo picks us up in front and drives us to the hospital. The paparazzi surround us after we get out of the car. Lennon puts a protective arm around me, which I further encourage by taking his hand.
“Is that your girlfriend, Lennon?” a guy yells, his camera clicking off a thousand and one pictures.
“Are you and your dad reconciling?” a female reporter asks.
Lennon doesn’t answer, though I’m thoroughly enjoying his attention. He guides me through the hospital doors, easily shoving his way through the river of snapping cameras and barking press. Security guards keep them from entering the building.
As we walk to the elevator, the nurses and doctors say hi to Lennon.
Lennon picks up his guitar in Currie’s room before we head to the cancer ward. He kisses her cheek before leaving the room.
His dad waits for him in the lobby. Denage stands off to the side, so I join her.
“We should go over what we’re going to play,” Jonathan says.
“Whatever.” Lennon takes out his guitar and tunes it. I’ve noticed his Taylor doesn’t go out of tune easily, so there isn’t much to do. I can’t play my dad’s Guild, so I should sell it to Lennon and buy a Taylor twelve string.
“We can play some of mine and some of yours.” Jonathan expectantly watches Lennon. He so desperately wants his son’s approval. It makes me sad for the two of them.
“Sure.” Lennon plays a difficult riff on the twelve-string with his powerful fingers. The ones that touched me earlier.
Jonathan replies with a matching riff but not quite as tight. A little competition ensues. Lennon definitely inherited his talent from his dad.
Seeing them together like this, I wish Lennon could know his father’s love. I certainly miss mine. From what he told me this morning and Denage’s photos, there is hope for Jonathan.
“This means a great deal to Jonathan to play with his son,” Denage says. A wistful expression expands into a smile. “It’s one of his dreams to tour with him.”
I’m sure that would be Lennon’s nightmare. “How did you meet Jonathan?”
Denage is still smiling as if suspended by a happy memory. “I was his therapist for a short time.”<
br />
“Isn’t that illegal?” I burst out, without thinking.
“As soon as he told me he was spending his sessions fantasizing about me, I turned him over to my partner, who’s balding. Jonathan couldn’t get better if he wasn’t focusing on his treatment.”
Like father like son. “When did you start dating him?”
“I kept running into him. I think he stalked me.” She laughs. “Jonathan only went through eighth grade, which didn’t make him all that appealing to me until he told me his dad made him dropout to work in the coalmines of West Virginia. Two years ago, Jonathan earned his GED and took business classes at Cal State. That impressed me, and honestly, I’m like any girl my age. I’m a huge Rage fan, and he’s charming. After several months, I gave into him.”
“How did he get into the music business?” I’m truly interested because that’s what I want to do.
“Broken souls like his have many stories to tell. His pain and anger bleed into his songs. When his father had a heart attack, he ran as far and as fast as he could from that wretched man.”
It’s tough to hear this because it makes me want to sympathize with Jonathan, but I bet Step-monster has a similar story. I’ll never forgive him, and I doubt Lennon will forgive his father either.
Denage continues, “After he ran away, Jonathan came out to LA. He put a band together. The clubs loved him. A big agent picked him up, and the rest is filled with hard partying in an attempt to forget what he left behind. His dad and older brothers have tried to contact him for money. He won’t have anything to do with them. I hope Lennon doesn’t continue doing that. If he can open up to Jonathan, it’ll mean everything to him. He loves his son very much.”
“He didn’t show it for all those years. That’s hard to forget.”
“I know. It won’t be easy for Lennon.”
I don’t want him to never really know his dad. I’d give anything to have mine back, and the way Jonathan looks at him with hope and love. It’s probably harder for him to remain straight than it is for Lennon to give Jonathan another shot at being his dad.
“The only way it’ll happen is if Currie encourages Lennon to forgive Jonathan,” I say. “Lennon would do anything for her.”
“Jonathan and I know this.”
Jonathan and Denage must be working that angle hard with all his phone calls to Currie.
The kids filter into the lobby. The nurses wheel some of the patients in but several carry pillows to sit on the floor. A bald teenaged girl trudges into the room. She heads to the couch, staring more at her feet than where she’s going. She bumps into another patient. No sorry, she just stumbles past him. I notice her over the others because she frowns and seems sad and distant, like she’s permanently broken.
The pretty nurse whispers into Lennon’s ear. She nods at the girl who caught my attention.
Once the large area is filled with patients, nurses, and doctors, Jonathan says, “I’m Jonathan Tyler from Rage, and this is my son Lennon Tyler. We’re going to play a few songs from my latest album and several of my son’s.” He smiles at Lennon, obviously proud.
It pokes holes into my heart for Lennon and his dad.
Jonathan starts with One Night. It’s a bluesy tune. Lennon immediately takes over as the lead guitarist. When it comes to the chorus, Lennon sings harmony. It’s incredible. His voice is rich and clear while his dad’s is rough.
The teenaged girl looks up, directly at Lennon. He has that animal magnetism girls have a hard time ignoring, even I’ve been drawn to it. A smile parts her mouth. He has her attention and everyone else’s.
A nurse and doctor are dancing swing with each other. The kids laugh and point at them. Another girl stands up and dances. She’s really good. Pretty soon several others join her.
After a few of Jonathan’s songs, Jonathan asks Lennon to play one of his. It’s one of my favorites that he has written, Only One Love. The song was written for Currie, but he dedicates it to the kids in the hospital, which even brings a tear to my eye along with most of the nurses and even a few doctors.
My cell buzzes. It’s Mom, so I step away from the lobby. My breath catches in my throat. “What’s up?”
“I’m not bothering you. Am I?” She hesitates. “Your friends said you went up to see Lennon and his sister at the hospital.”
“I’m still with Lennon.” That sounds weird even to me.
“I’m sorry about everything,” Mom starts. “I had no idea what a monster Bill is. I spoke with the DA and Lennon. It’s boggles my mind that I was so stupid. I hope you can forgive me. Please come home.”
“What about Bill?” It’s the first time since He raped me that I’ve spoken His name. The thought of Him sends shivers down my back.
“He’s gone…for good.”
I miss her. I miss Dad. I wish we could be all together again. “Mom, I love you.”
“I love you, too. See you in a few days?” Her voice sounds hopeful.
“I’ll keep you posted.”
When Lennon and Jonathan are done, the two bodyguards cart in boxes of autographed Rage CDs. The kids shriek with delight.
A girl and boy about ten walk up to Lennon after they get a CD. “Would you sign this?” the girl says.
“Sure. Who do I make it out to?”
“Fay and George,” the girl says. “We can’t wait for you to get your own CD. You’re awesome.”
“Thanks.” Lennon gives him that half smile all the girls adore. The little girl gives him a big hug, and he hugs her back then the little boy. They grin big.
The teenaged girl comes up to Lennon. “Can I have your autograph, too?”
“No problem,” he says. “You’re so pretty I bet your name is Terri.”
She blushes hard. “How did you know?”
“A little bird told me.”
“Is that your girlfriend?” She points at me.
“Not yet. Jinx plays in my band.” Lennon turns around and winks at me. I’m curious what being his girlfriend entails since he’s never had one as long as I’ve known him.
“She’s really pretty,” Terri says.
He gives me a sideways grin. “She most definitely is.”
His smile envelopes me like his kisses did this morning. It gives me the good kind of shivers.
“I know I shouldn’t ask you this,” the girls starts, burying her gaze into the floor she’s so shy, “but when I got sick, I was supposed to go to the dance with this really cute boy. He wouldn’t go with me when I lost my hair.”
I can feel my heart sink into the cold tiled floors. What a jerk.
“Anyway, I just want to be kissed before my life…” She swallows the lump in her throat. “By a really handsome guy, like you,” she says, biting her lips. “Would you…be that guy?”
Lennon doesn’t seem shocked at all. He touches her waist with a tentativeness that sends goosebumps up my arms. He glances at the nurses and doctors for their okay, though there’s no doubt he would do it anyway without their permission. Most of them nod. I’m guessing her mom is standing behind Lennon because she dabs her eyes with a tissue and so do a few nurses.
“I know I’m not pretty anymore.” The girl fingers her bald head. “You may want to close your eyes.”
“Never.” Lennon caresses her cheek and tenderly kisses her lips. It’s not long enough that it upsets the mom but long enough to give a lasting impression. The girl flips up her heel like in the movies for a really great kiss.
I touch my lips where he kissed me. It was pretty awesome. The kids whistle and shout catcalls.
“How about a song from you and Jinx,” Terri says.
The whole floor claps their hands as if at a real concert, begging for an encore. I could so totally dig being a rock star.
Lennon nods me over. Jonathan hands me his guitar. Just like my dad’s Guild, the neck is too large for my hands. Lennon gives me his guitar. The Taylor is much smaller. “Switch?”
“Thanks.” Lennon understands. He’s thoug
htful sometimes like a girl would be.
“Let’s do that duet we’ve been working on.” Lennon plucks the Guild. “Ready?”
He plays the intro to Into the Black. The song is fairly sexed up, so I assume Lennon will G-rate the tune.
Every night we go into the Black.
First you, then me.
You close in on me, and the world slips away.
I could hold you like this all day.
When we finish, Jonathan applauds along with everyone else. If our fans react like these guys, we could cut an album easy. Lennon will never ask his dad though. I’m not sure Lennon would even do it on his own.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
LENNON
I hate coming to hospitals, especially the ones for children. They’re filled with people waiting to die. If I get sick, I’d rather rot away in my own bed than come here.
Betsy came up to me prior to us playing to tell me about Terri. The fifteen-year-old girl has come to the hospital to die. It kills me to be up close to these kids. It was a good thing I just had to play and not talk too much.
In a few days, I’ll walk out of here with Currie, but Terri and some of these kids won’t. What kind of dickhead denies a stupid dance with a girl who’s terminally ill? Why do some get to live and others don’t?
It doesn’t help that Jonathan and I play well together, but Jinx was the clincher. She did awesome.
I take her hand as we ride up in the elevator. She no longer flees from my touch, so I go one step further and kiss her hand. I want someone to lean against. It’s been a hard week. I’ll be glad when it’s over, and I can go home without Jonathan and his entourage.
“I can’t imagine how hard this is for you,” Jinx says, squeezing my arm while resting her head against me. “Your dad loves you. The look on his face while you played and sang showed how proud he is of you. I would give anything to have my dad back. Don’t let Currie do without him or you. Jonathan’s not perfect, but he’s trying.”
