by RC Boldt
“Laney,” Raine said in exasperation, “seriously? That’s what you’re going to concentrate on? Not the fact that she’s falling for him?”
Laney answered, “Yep,” wiggling her eyebrows.
“Sweet mother of all that’s holy,” muttered Tate. “Ignore the horn dog over there, Lee,” she told her, tossing her thumb in Laney’s direction.
“What?” Laney said with a tinge of exasperation before gesturing to Raine. “Mac likes to be called by his real first name in bed.” Pointing to herself, she added, “Zach’s dirty talker of the century, and,” she looked over at Tate, expectantly, “Miller’s …”
Tate merely grinned smugly and wiggled her eyebrows. “Miller’s ev-ery-thing.”
Laney rolled her eyes before turning back to her. “There you have it. You’re in good company here, Lee.”
“So …” Raine began.
“So … yeah.” Pursing her lips, she, added, “Friday night was the equivalent of being thrown into an incinerator …”
“Whoa,” the three women said in unison.
“Yeah.”
“He rocked your world, huh?” Laney asked with a sly grin.
Her answer was more of a wispy sigh. “Yeah.”
Tate’s expression was one of extreme concentration. “So he rocked your world and managed to get you to have serious feelings for him.” Turning to Raine and Laney, she gave them a look with raised eyebrows. “You have to admit, that’s impressive stuff, right there.”
Laney was still eyeing her with interest. “Did he rock your world because he was super kinky or because he was …” she lowered her voice, meaningfully, “super-sized?”
She held Laney’s gaze, not saying a word. After an extended silence, Laney leaned back, eyebrows nearly hitting her forehead, muttering, “No way.”
“Holy crap,” Raine breathed, seeming dazed.
Tate was grinning from ear to ear. “Totally knew it. I mean, really. A guy like him, with that much personality. I always figured he’d be seriously packing extra-large cargo and be crazy wild in bed.”
Raine scrunched her nose. “You thought about Lawson like that?”
Tate shot her a weird look. “Noooo,” she drew the word out slowly. “I’m just saying that I had my suspicions. That’s all.” Turning her attention back to her, her friend tipped her head to the side. “So what happens now? Are you guys a couple?”
Hands going to the regular and low-sodium soy sauce bottles upon their table, she toyed with them as she answered, “I’m not really sure. He told me that he loves me and I—”
“What?” the three women gasped, collectively.
“What do you mean, what?” Her eyes darted to each of them in alarm.
“Oh. Holy. Shit,” Laney breathed the words, appearing dazed.
Tossing a stern look in her friend’s direction, Tate focused on her. “She means holy shit in a completely good way, I promise. Because, well,” she paused, and pressed her lips thin in thought before continuing, “it’s Lawson.”
“But,” Raine held up her index finger, “I think we’ve all expected that when he did fall in love, it would be headfirst and wholeheartedly.” She smiled affectionately. “Lawson is just so much more complex than he seems when you first meet him. He’s got a big heart and—”
“Clearly, that ain’t all that’s big,” Laney interjected, snickering with Tate.
“The question is,” Raine posed gently, “do you love him back?”
“Can you see yourself side-by-side years from now?” Tate asked.
“Can you see yourself sexing him up years from now?” This came from Laney, of course.
Her lips rolled inward as she chose her words. “He’s just … so much. But so thoughtful.” With a soft sigh, she explained, “When I go over to his place and he grills burgers, he always puts extra ketchup and extra pickles on mine. Without even asking. And he bought me a couple new packs of ponytail holders.” She smiled softly at the memory. “Because he’d noticed most of mine were stretched out, just about to snap or break. All kinds of little things like that …” She trailed off.
“But you’re scared.” Raine’s eyes held compassion and understanding in them.
She nodded slowly. “Yes.”
The three women stared at her, appearing to mull over what she’d just disclosed.
Tate was the first to speak, breaking into a wide grin. “All I’ve got to say is Lawson Briggs has got serious game.”
“Aw, Lawson.” Raine held a hand over her heart with a tender expression on her face.
Laney eyed her carefully. “Has it been only one-way with those little gestures?”
Whoa. There were the Momma Bear claws coming out, yet again. However, she couldn’t be upset by this. It was who these people were; they protected their own.
“No, it’s not just one-way,” she answered.
“So, you …” Laney led in, eyebrows raised expectantly.
“I left him a funny card that made me think of him. It had some silly Star Wars pun. And I sometimes leave him a few of his favorite organic chocolate bars he said you,” she waved a hand in Raine’s direction, “got him hooked on.” Then, a thought popping into her head, she added, “And we run together.”
Shock. That was the only way to describe the three women’s expressions.
“No freaking way,” Tate breathed.
Raine threw up her hands, complaining, “Seriously? Do you know how many times I tried to get that man to run with me?”
“But you didn’t put out, sooooo …” Laney quipped. They all snickered before falling quiet.
Head tipped to the side, Tate studied her. “I know you’re scared, Lee. I get that, I do. Trust me.” She gave a little laugh. “But I remember a quote that really resonated with me. It doesn’t matter who hurt you in the past. What matters is who made you smile again.”
As the dinner conversation moved on to other subjects, she pondered Tate’s words. Lawson had certainly managed to pull her from the dark, secluded space she had been in when she’d first moved to Fernandina Beach. Thinking back, she realized that since he’d inserted himself in her life, full-throttle, she hadn’t had the time—nor inclination—to dwell on what had happened in her past.
Until now. Because, now, with his revelation about his feelings for her, she realized that she had the ability … the opportunity to move forward. Fully leaving her past as it should be: in the past.
The real question was, was she brave enough to do so? To take that leap?
C
HAPTER THIRTY
Langley
Kandahar, Afghanistan
Fifth Deployment
We were all standing in the TOC waiting to see if they’d declare it a mission for us. Two Afghan nationals were injured, two CAT Alphas—critically wounded—with one possible amputation.
We were waiting, chomping at the bit for the mission to drop so we could get going. Especially after we heard the next bit of intel.
“Two Afghan National children. Over.”
“Shit,” Lucas muttered. We hated getting calls for kids, but this was different because they weren’t U.S. kids. Meaning we couldn’t head out to save them because of the Med-Roe—Medical Rules of Engagement—created to hand responsibility back over to the Afghans and, in turn, limit the risk of more Americans’ lives.
And these children didn’t meet Med-Roe since their injuries were not caused by Americans, but by a Taliban IED. So we were commanded to stand down.
It was so quiet in the TOC, you could’ve heard a pin drop, as we all stood there waiting to hear the intel regarding the two kids. Less than five minutes later we got news the more severely wounded of the two had died.
We could’ve saved them—it was quite possible that we could have saved a child’s life—but due to red tape and stipulations, we all stood there in a room on base while a child died. And that child died because we were unable to offer immediate medical assistance.
It was a day I would nev
er forget.
* * *
Lawson: When do you think you’ll be done with work?
Langley: Why? What do you need?
Lawson: I need to see that gorgeous smile of yours in person.
Langley: Really? Is that all?
Lawson: Okay, okay. I wouldn’t protest too much if you took advantage of me.
Langley: You’re a dork.
Lawson: I may be a dork, but at least I’m a loveable one.
Langley: And a well-hung one.
Lawson: Oh, snap! Is Lee trying out her sexting game?
Langley: I’ve got to get back to work. I should be done by five.
Lawson: Come over after work. I’ll let you have your way with me.
Langley: Later, Laws.
Lawson: Later, gorgeous. ;)
“Never thought I’d see that.” Doc’s words made her head jerk up, her gaze meeting his amused one.
“Never see what?” she asked cautiously.
“See you actually smile. A real bonafide one. Didn’t think you had it in you at first, I’ll be honest.”
Ouch. That actually stung. Had she really been that bad?
“Don’t go there, Ford.” Doc’s green eyes watched her from his desk a few feet away from hers. “Merely saying I’m glad to see you like this.”
Uncomfortable under his scrutiny, she gave him a brief nod, returning her attention to her paperwork.
“Love looks good on you.”
Her breath hitched in her throat at his words. Eyeing him warily, she nearly stuttered in response. “I never said—”
Giving her a look, he interrupted her, “You don’t have to. It’s plain as day. And, from what I hear, same goes for him.” Tipping his head to the side, he added, “You’re good for him, you know.”
“How so?” she asked cautiously.
Leaning back in his chair, arms crossed, he studied her. “He’s the one who reminds us all not to take life too seriously, reminds us how precious it is, helps us remember to bask in the moments that really count. In contrast, you’re,” he waved his hand, gesturing to her, “the person who brings something to the table that he hasn’t experienced before.”
“What’s that?”
He was silent for a moment before he answered. “You bring yourself. The one person—the right person—who can love him and appreciate him. The one person meant for him to fall in love with.” Nodding slowly, he told her, “It’s pretty plain to see for anyone on the outside. You two are opposites in many ways.
“But in a lot of ways, you’re the same. Lots of layers people don’t tend to see beneath. Don’t take the time to see beneath. Loyal, hard-working. The list goes on and on, Ford. And you’re also both … scared.”
She tossed him a sharp look, waiting for him to continue.
Softening his tone, Doc explained, “You’re afraid of putting yourself out there after what you’ve experienced, and Lawson is worried about putting himself out there for the first time.” He paused. “Thing is, Ford, you need to consider something.”
“What’s that?”
“At the end of the day, who do you want to go home to? Whose face do you want to see? When you have a shitty day, who do you want to listen to you vent and comfort you? Who do you miss when they’re not around? Who do you picture yourself beside years to come?”
She held his thoughtful gaze, her answer coming out in a near whisper. “Laws.”
He nodded slowly, one corner of his mouth tipped up. “There you have it.”
The door to the office opened just then, cutting off any response she might have had as Noelle entered with Foster trailing her.
“Hello, lovelies. Sorry I’m bringing the Sheriff of Nottingham, here, with me. He’s like a stray. Follows me everywhere,” the blonde office manager quipped, setting down a stack of files upon her desk with a dramatic sigh.
“Simmer down, Maleficient.” Foster’s voice was low, nearly a growl. Not that it appeared to faze Noelle, of course. She merely waved him off as if he were an annoyance.
They were interrupted by Noelle’s cell phone, which she had set down upon her desk, vibrating loudly against the surface. Glancing at the caller ID display, a look of unease flashed across her face before it was quickly masked, and her finger tapped the screen to dismiss the call.
Glancing over at Doc, they exchanged a look—signifying that he, too, had noticed Noelle’s worrisome reaction to the call.
“Everything all right, Medusa? Or are you still getting those phone sex calls here while you’re on the clock?”
Jesus. These two just need to go at it already, she thought to herself, shaking her head, turning her attention back to her work.
As she finished up her paperwork, ignoring the usual Foster-Noelle banter, Doc’s words echoed in her mind. Above all, she couldn’t ignore one certainty.
Lawson Briggs was the person she wanted to be with, to have by her side.
She just had to find the courage to take the leap.
C
HAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Woltman’s law: Never execute any computer programming and drink beer at the same time.
Langley’s take: That should be changed to ‘Never drink beer and have a conversation with Lawson because that guy will creep past your defenses like no other. And one should be completely sober as he creeps.’ Oh, and if Lawson reads that, I have no doubt he’ll end up singing the TLC song, “Creep”.
~
IT HAPPENED WHEN THEY HAD just taken their seats out on his deck, opening up containers of their takeout sushi, watching the start of the sunset over the Atlantic Ocean.
“So, tell me about your day.”
Her head jerked up to stare at Lawson. “Why?” She drew the word out slowly.
“So that I can get insider information to take over the world of military based security firms, of course,” he deadpanned.
She just stared at him.
Giving her a look as if she were slow, he said, “Because that’s what normal people do, Lee. They talk about their day with one another.”
Well. She’d only ever really dipped her toe in the water and that was years ago when she’d spent time with the Brooks’.
“Okaaaay …” she faltered.
“I’ll start,” he began. “I nearly laid hands on a kid today.”
Frowning, she cocked her head to the side. “As in, almost hit them?”
“No.” He shot her a look. “More like in prayer. You know, to exorcise the demons.” He blew out a breath. “This kid was just on it today. And not in a good way.” He shook his head, eating a piece of sushi, watching her expectantly.
Oh, right. It was her turn.
“I, uh, went with Kane to a site to train them to be more efficient and effective in combative situations.” She ate a piece of her sushi, raising her eyes to see him watching her.
“And?” His eyebrows raised. “What exactly does that mean?”
“It means that we train them to be more prepared for hostile environments. We try to make it more minimalistic and simplistic, with a strong emphasis on aggressiveness.”
“Ah,” he nodded, “sounds pretty badass.”
She shrugged. “We go over things like unarmed striking and blade tactics before applying those to extreme close quarters, ground fighting, and multiple attackers scenarios.”
He continued staring at her and it began to be unnerving. “Why are you staring at me?”
“Because hearing you explain that, all nonchalant, was pretty damn hot.” He flashed her a wide smile, winking at her.
“Whatever,” she mumbled, eating another piece of sushi, trying to resist a smile.
“I’m serious, Lee. I got a bit aroused merely by the words ‘blade tactics’ falling from those lips.”
Oh? He was serious, was he? The cocky grin on his handsome face contradicted that slightly.
Just slightly.
Giving him a squinty-eyed stare, she schooled her expression, trying to not give into the smile thre
atening to break free. “You see, I’d like to believe you, but all I heard when you spoke was ‘Wah, wah, wah’. Kinda like Charlie Brown’s teacher.”
He wagged his finger at her. “Rule number sixty-four: no harassing the man whose mouth gives you immense pleasure.”
“Rule number ninety-three: no bragging or boasting about things that aren’t truthful.” She rolled her lips inward to try and tamp down her smile.
Eyes narrowed in amusement, he leaned toward her. “Rule number fifty-seven: no taunting a man who can back up his claims.”
“Oh, Laws,” she laughed, shaking her head.
“So,” he began, “let’s talk about your birthday.”
“I already told you. I don’t ever celebrate my birthday,” she protested with a sigh.
“And I already explained this to you,” he told her patiently, “that was B.L. Before Lawson.”
Chuckling, she shook her head and she picked up a piece of sushi with her chopsticks. “Whatever.”
“We’re going to go to Shenanigans, anyway, for our end of the school year celebration. So, really, if it makes you feel any better, your birthday won’t be the sole focus.”
“Fine,” she muttered.
He winked at her, his light blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “Prepare to do some karaoke with me.”
Giving him a squinty-eyed look, she waved her chopsticks at him. “Uh-uh. No way. Not happening.”
“You wouldn’t sing with me, Lee?” he pouted, sniffling and wiping fake tears from his cheeks. “That wounds me deep.”
Rolling her eyes, she cocked an eyebrow. “Speaking of deep …”
“Tell me more.” He grinned wide. “I like where your head’s at.”
Laughing, she shook her head, reaching for another piece of sushi. His next words made her halt in mid-reach.
“I love your laugh.” His voice was soft, serious. “If there were only one thing I could do for the rest of my life, it would be to make you laugh. To make you that happy.”
Raising her eyes to his, she saw the love shining in the depths. Teeth worrying the edge of her bottom lip, she held his gaze, not knowing how to respond. Because, the truth was, she wasn’t sure she could love. That she knew how to love someone.
