Faith and trust were precious things not so easily won. She had already done everything she knew these past weeks to prove to Rurik that she could be trusted, that he had no reason to doubt her, but obviously it wasn’t enough. She supposed she couldn’t blame him after her attempts to thwart him in the past, and he probably still held Kjell’s death against her. But if he cared, wouldn’t he have forgiven her?
Sighing as she moved to the window, Zora leaned upon the sill and turned her face upward to the warm, soothing sunlight.
Funny. If she chose to crawl out of this window right now, she wouldn’t be greeted by a guard as she would have when she first came to the compound. Since the night she had gone to chastise Rurik’s cooks, he had allowed her to walk about freely with no escort at all.
She would never forget her elation when she realized that he had not sent guards after her, another good sign that he was willing to trust her. She could come and go as she pleased, and tomorrow she would be journeying to Novgorod with Yakov and a handful of warriors sent along not to watch her but to carry her purchases.
Nor had Rurik ever questioned her again about her interest in his household. It was as if he had simply accepted it, taking almost as much delight in how smoothly everything was running, especially the evening meals, as she derived in pleasing him.
And she wanted to please him! It was amazing how quickly her plan had fallen by the wayside—practically as soon as she had conceived it!—but all she had to do was look in Rurik’s eyes to know that she could no more betray him than leave him. Not now. Not when she knew that she loved him as she had never thought possible.
“Yet you betray your father,” Zora whispered, unable to make that sharp pang of guilt fade. What would Mstislav say if he knew she had fallen in love with one of his enemies and wished to remain here in Novgorod? One of his hated brother’s most famed warriors, the very man she had been forced to wed?
No, don’t think of it! she told herself firmly, rubbing her aching temples. Nor did she want to think about the battle that was looming ever closer, although that specter was much more difficult to chase from her mind.
The air seemed forever to be ringing with the ominous sounds of Rurik and his men hard at their training, from dawn to dusk, every day no matter the weather. He had already told her that they would be sailing for Chernigov as soon as Varangian reinforcements arrived from the north, surprising her that he would trust her with such information. And three nights out of the last seven he had spent at the kreml in Novgorod, summoned by her uncle to councils of war.
Those were the worst times. Lying alone in that huge bed, her fears seemed to run away with her, the same awful questions tumbling over and over in her mind.
What was the future going to bring? Would her father win, or Yaroslav? She felt herself a traitor for even thinking that her father might lose, but what if he didn’t? What if Rurik was captured and taken prisoner, or, even worse, killed during the battle?
“No, no, no!” Zora spun from the window, her heart slamming like a battering ram against her breast. Suddenly she was breathing so hard, she thought she might faint.
Groping for a nearby chair, she sat down and dropped her head to her hands, waiting dazedly for the sensation to pass. She thought she heard a door open but she couldn’t be sure, and she felt too dizzy to raise her head.
“Nellwyn?”
Now she heard footsteps rushing toward her, but they weren’t those of a woman. She did not have to look up to know it was Rurik who sank to his haunches beside her.
“Zora, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing…I’m fine,” she murmured, daring to lift her head and meet his eyes that were filled with as much concern as his voice. To her relief, the sensation of dizziness was rapidly fading. “I felt a little light-headed…but it’s almost gone.”
“By Thor, woman, you’ve been working yourself too hard!” said Rurik with more vehemence than he had intended, but unable to help himself for how pale she was. His reaction to this alone only reinforced the depth of his love for her. To see her so was like a sword thrust to his heart. “I was thinking only this morn that you’ve taken on too many duties, too fast. Usually you wake when I leave the bed but today you slept on as if one dead.”
“Perhaps that was due more to how late you kept me awake with your demands, husband,” she said softly, sitting up straight in the chair as if to show him that she was feeling better. “I would swear you possess the appetite of ten men, or at least five very greedy ones.”
Reassured as much by the sparkle returning to her eyes as her teasing tone, Rurik felt a swell of emotion in his chest that was very difficult to contain. It was all he could do to tell himself that he had only to wait one more day, just one more day, before he could allow himself to believe that she harbored no desire to escape.
“I heard no complaints last night, Princess,” he countered huskily, thinking that if not for his wretched past, he might have already surrendered to the heated emotion he had glimpsed time and again in those stunning blue depths. Yet some small part of himself still had to be convinced. He had refused for so long to put faith in any woman that his fear of betrayal was almost as strong as the love he carried in his heart.
“In fact if memory serves,” he added, reassured further by the saucy tilt of her chin, “I think it was you who coerced me into another—”
“Coerced?” Zora broke in, grateful to be feeling more like herself with each passing moment. Nor was it hard to push all troubling thoughts to the furthest recesses of her mind with Rurik now smiling at her so roguishly. “I only kissed you where you told me you liked to be kissed…oh!”
Rurik had risen to his feet and pulled her into his arms so suddenly that her head spun all over again. Yet this time it was wonderfully different.
“If our conversation continues on its present course, lady, I may forget why I came here and seek some other diversion than the one I had intended.”
“Why did you come here?” asked Zora, delighting in the sheer strength of his arms as he held her close and the masculine smell of him. “You’re usually with your men at this hour.”
“I decided to leave Nils in charge for the rest of the afternoon. It’s a beautiful day, the warmest one yet, and I thought you might enjoy a swim. I know I’d like one.”
“A swim?” Zora pulled back a bit to eye him suspiciously. “If you’re planning to get me into that tub of yours again—”
His resonant laughter silenced her and she stared at him in confusion, wondering what he might be plotting.
“Not the tub, Princess. I’ve a favorite place I’d like to show you outside the compound, especially now after finding you as I did. Fresh air and a break from your labors will do you good.”
“But I don’t know how to swim,” she said, a niggling of fear pressing in upon her. “The one time I tried, Hermione held me under by the hair…” She shuddered. “If I hadn’t scratched her legs, I wouldn’t be here today.”
“By Odin, if I ever meet that woman,” swore Rurik, having heard enough tales of Hermione’s jealous abuses in the last two weeks to turn his stomach at the slightest mention of her name. Sensing Zora’s apprehension, he hugged her more tightly.
“You may not agree with me, but I think that’s all the more reason you should learn. I’m an excellent swimmer, Zora, so you have nothing to fear. I’d be with you every moment.” Feeling her stiffen despite his assurances, he gently stroked her cheek. “It’s a lovely spot, Princess. I know you would like it. Let me show it to you.”
“But Nellwyn is bringing me some dinner, and then I promised Yakov that we’d go over our lists again—”
“Yakov can check the lists without you,” Rurik said firmly, although he was encouraged by Zora’s concern for the details of her trip to Novgorod…a promising sign that sent his pulse racing. “I already spoke to Nellwyn on my way over here from the cooking house, where I picked up some food to eat after our swim. Now what do you say?”
Staring into
Rurik’s eyes, Zora felt her reservations fading in the sudden wave of hope that swept over her.
He was being so insistent. Surely it must be for some special reason, for he had never before left the training field early to spend time with her. Dear God, please may it be so! If she at least had some words of love to reassure her before he left, maybe his absence wouldn’t seem so bad…
“Very well,” she murmured, suddenly both excited and nervous. “But if I decide when we get there that I don’t want to swim—”
“I would never force you, Zora.” He kissed her then so tenderly that it took her breath away, her hope flaring all the brighter.
***
The winding stream they had followed was beautiful, Zora couldn’t deny it, but no more so than the spot where Rurik finally halted their mount. At its narrowest point, much of the tumbling water had been dammed by huge craggy boulders that looked as if they had been strewn there by some giant’s hand, forming a glistening pool that was framed by deep green firs of majestic beauty.
“I call this place Thor’s Grove. Do you like it?”
“It’s lovely,” she said as Rurik slid from the saddle and lifted her to the ground.
“I haven’t been here since early April, right before I left on my mission.” Still clasping her waist, Rurik looked around him. “The snow was thick then…almost as high as that small pine.”
Following his gaze, Zora couldn’t help asking, “Who came out here with you that time?”
He met her eyes, a curious smile upon his lips. “No one, Princess. I’ve never brought anyone here before.”
Her breath suddenly jammed in her throat, Zora had no idea how she should respond but Rurik solved her dilemma by taking her hand and leading her to the mossy bank. Bending on one knee, he glided his hand across the sparkling, sunlit surface.
“Hmmm, it may not be warm enough for you. Why don’t you try it and tell me what you think?”
Zora kicked off her slipper and stuck her toe tentatively in the water. “It’s not that cold,” she pronounced. Then startled to see some small, silvery blue fish dart by, she grew doubtful. “It looks deep.”
“No more than a few inches above my head near the middle—”
“Then a good foot and a half above mine.” Zora backed away. “I don’t know, Rurik…”
“If it will make you feel better,” he said, grabbing her hands to stay her retreat, “I’ll make sure your head stays above water. You must trust me, Zora. I would never let anything happen to you.”
Here he was telling her to trust him! Zora wished that she had the courage to demand of him the same thing. Yet his promise had done much to sway her reluctance. Her nod was greeted by a broad grin, and he released her to begin stripping off his clothes.
“Are you sure no one will see us?” she asked uncertainly, glancing behind her. To reach the stream, they had ridden past tilled fields being tended by slaves and, farther out, cleared pasture where cattle and sheep were grazing under the watchful eyes of armed shepherds ever alert for thieves. She still remembered her surprise when she had found out from Yakov during her tour of the domestic buildings that the compound wasn’t wholly surrounded by forest.
“We’re out too far,” said Rurik as he pulled off his boots. “I told you before I would never risk another man glimpsing your beauty, Zora.” In moments, he had yanked off his trousers to stand naked before her but for his gold earring, his battle-hardened body a burnished golden brown in the bright sunlight.
Her heart suddenly beating faster, Zora found she could not stop staring at him, and still she hadn’t made a move to take off her own clothing.
“This happens so often, Princess, my undressing before you do, that I’m beginning to think you like for me to help you.
“Perhaps I do,” she said playfully, breaking her gaze from his formidable physique to look into his eyes. “You’ve quite a knack with women’s clothing, husband.”
With a low growl he drew her roughly toward him, his hands expert as he divested her of every stitch. Then he enfolded her in his arms, not to hug her as she had thought but to sweep her from her feet.
“It will be easier this way,” he said as he began to walk into the pool, the water quickly rising from his knees to his hips. Zora gasped, feeling the cold upon her bare bottom, but she shrieked when he suddenly seemed to step off a ledge, the water now covering her to her chin.
“I—it’s freezing!” she cried, her teeth chattering.
“But not as ice-cold as the tub.”
“N-no,” she agreed, wondering how far into the pool Rurik planned to go. He seemed to be drawing ominously close to the middle. “S-should you w-walk out any m-more? It—it might g-get too deep.”
“I doubt it. The water seems shallower this year—”
Suddenly Rurik slipped as if the bottom had plummeted from beneath his feet. Zora flung her arms around his neck, terrified.
“Easy, Princess,” he soothed her, swimming effortlessly with her back the way they had come. “It’s not as shallow as I had thought, but at least I know where the drop-off is.” Finding his footing, he stood again, his broad shoulders above the water, his tanned skin beaded with moisture. “Now I want you to hold my hands like this”—tugging her arms gently from his neck, he interlaced his fingers with hers— “and I’m going to push you out just a little—”
“Rurik…”
“Trust me, Zora, I’m right here with you. Now kick your legs.”
In her panic, she kicked so vigorously that water flew high into the air and all around them. Rurik began to laugh.
“Easy, Princess, or we won’t have enough water in this pool to swim back to shore.”
Gradually Zora was able to relax and encouraged by Rurik’s patient coaching, teasing, and coaxing, she grew braver and even let go of his hands a few times to attempt swimming on her own. It was a bit embarrassing, for she must hardly appear graceful flailing her arms and legs about. But if Rurik thought her ungainly he said not a word.
He didn’t let her rest until she had tried swimming not only on her stomach but her back, then as if sensing her limbs were growing tired, which they were, he drew her back to shallower water that came only as high as her breasts. Staring at her lingeringly, he nonetheless released her and moved backward a few steps.
“My turn,” he said with a smile. Before she could answer, he dived away from her so cleanly that he left scarcely a ripple behind him.
“Rurik?”
She rolled her eyes at herself. Of course he couldn’t hear her, yet when was he going to come up for air? It felt so strange to be standing there with no other sounds around her than the breeze whooshing through the trees and the water rumbling between the gap in the boulders…
He must have read her anxious thoughts for he burst above the mirrorlike surface at that moment and began to swim with long, powerful strokes from one end of the pool to the other. Wondering how many of Rurik’s lessons it would take before she might be able to swim so expertly, Zora felt a pall drift over her enjoyment. Would there be many more lessons before he left with his men? Would she ever come here with him again?
Heartsick, Zora watched as Rurik dived once more, but this time the sun was so bright upon the water she couldn’t see where he had gone. Standing in place, she began to circle slowly, looking for him and feeling so terribly alone
“Oh…!”
Zora couldn’t have been more surprised when he suddenly broke through the surface right in front of her, and grabbing her around the waist, he lifted her high from the water, his laughter resounding all around them.
“By Odin, a river nymph!” Rurik exulted, lowering Zora back down to face him. Expecting to find her smiling, he couldn’t have been more startled to find that she had burst into tears.
Chapter 24
“Zora? By God, little one, I didn’t mean to frighten you…”
Hugging her close, Rurik was totally at a loss. Her slender body was shaking with sobs, and feeling h
er beginning to shiver, he lifted her in his arms and made his way to the bank, where he set her down upon the soft moss. He left her for only an instant to grab the leather bag hanging from the saddle and then he was back at her side, gathering her close again as he pulled out a blanket and whipped it around her quaking shoulders.
“Forgive me, Princess.” Rurik stroked her damp hair as her tears soon soaked his chest. I wasn’t thinking. I should have known I might alarm you, but it never occurred to me.”
He hadn’t frightened her, Zora wanted so desperately to tell him as she sobbed harder than she could remember ever having done before. But if she said that, he would want to know what had brought on this bout of tears and she wasn’t ready to tell him that either! Not when she still wasn’t sure if he would even want to hear how she felt…if it even mattered to him how much she loved him, how much she feared for him…how much she didn’t want him to leave her…
“Easy, Zora, it can’t be that bad,” he said, holding her slightly away from him and tilting up her face. Tenderly, he stroked her tearstained cheek with his thumb. “Sshh, now, everything’s fine. We’re out of the water and you’re here safe with me. Sshh…”
Staring into his eyes, her vision blurred from crying, Zora felt herself soothed by his words despite the ache in her heart, and she shuddered in his arms, her sobs gradually lessening. She did feel safe and warm and protected and, with each passing moment, more in control of herself. Shuddering one last time, her hiccup brought a smile to Rurik’s face.
“That’s it, little one. It was only a small scare. Nothing to cause so many tears.”
Zora softly drew in her breath as Rurik bent his head and pressed his lips to hers, the warm pressure of his mouth lulling her more than anything he could have said. Then she hiccupped again, and to her amazement, she found herself giggling when he chuckled against her mouth.
“How quickly the fair lady’s feeling better,” he teased, his breath warming her lips. “Perhaps another kiss and she’ll forget what so upset her.”
The Pagan's Prize (Captive Brides Collection) Page 24
