“And how’s that computer thing?”
Sarah’s smile faded. She paused before answering. “Well, it was really great at first. I mean I guess it was, like, very realistic—I mean very, Katherine. They say it was just like having real sex.”
“Awesome...I guess.”
“But for the last few times it’s really gotten sort of weird. I don’t know. It’s just too wacko, and I guess I’m starting to question whether I should keep doing it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well...I’m embarrassed even to talk about this...but like today they programmed it for lesbian group sex.”
“Gross!”
“I know. They have one third of the experiences either in homosexual or bisexual situations. They say it opens our understanding of alternatives to traditional roles and makes us more loving and caring of all types of people. But I think it’s pretty stupid.”
“Yeah, that sounds really dumb. What was it like?”
“Well...they always make it pleasant, if you can get past what’s, like, happening. I just think it’s all gone too far. Spending the night with Matthew would seem so normal and tame after all this.”
“Have you done that?”
“No. But I’ve thought a lot about it. I know he loves me. And, well, this computer has opened up a whole world of new feelings and experiences...if it just weren’t so creepy. I mean all those wires and stupid situations. Just quietly being loved by Matthew seems real nice—”
“Sarah, your parents would die! You told me yourself you want to stay a virgin until you get married.”
“I know. But I was thinking like a little kid then. I know so much more now. You would, too, Katherine, I promise, if your school had one of these computers.”
“Maybe, but I’m not sure it’s the best thing to have, from what you’re saying. Anyway, don’t do anything dumb, and we’ll talk about it at Christmas.”
“I don’t know. Matthew and I are really in love, and he makes me feel good. I’m not making any promises, but I’ll see you at Christmas and tell you what happens.”
“Seriously, Sarah, don’t sleep with Matthew now. We’re still in high school.”
“So? We’re seniors, aren’t we? And soon we’ll be in college. Everybody else is doing it. And our teacher, Ms. Bowers, has helped me understand lots of feelings I didn’t know I had. It’s not that big a deal, one way or the other. I really feel like I’ve already done it.”
This time Katherine paused. “That computer has really changed you, Sarah. Look, I guess I don’t know all that you know, but you’re the one who’s been telling me all these years that the Bible says to wait until marriage. Now I’m studying the Bible with Mom and Dad and agreeing with you, but meanwhile you’ve changed. What’s the deal?”
“The deal is that Matthew and I love each other, and sex is a natural part of love, and God made both nature and love, so I think it’s okay.”
“Well, you’re playing with fire. What about marriage?”
“Katherine, you and I probably won’t be married to anybody for years and years. I don’t know about you, but I’ve experienced almost real sex, and I’m not going to wait years and years. It’s good. Really good.”
“Sarah, every girl I know who’s given in on this regrets it—sometimes the next day, the next week, or the next year, but always sometime. Always. I don’t know, but they all say it, like, changes the relationship. The boys just start focusing on sex and expecting it. It becomes the main thing—”
“Listen, I know Matthew, and he’s not like that. If we do it, we’ll be just like adults. We can handle it. And I wouldn’t be ‘giving in’—I’m thinking about it a lot myself. So don’t worry.”
“I wish I could see you. Please wait till you come up here.”
“Like I said, we’ll see. Anyway, what else is going on?”
WASHINGTON—The study topic for that evening was evangelism, and Joe Wood was explaining to William and Carrie that God simply wants each believer to move the unbelievers he or she knows one step closer to him.
“That clearly means you’re not running around harvesting new Christians every day of the week. Hopefully you’ll do so more than a few times in your life, but it’ll be because someone else, maybe in a different place, maybe ten years earlier, planted seeds, and others watered those seeds over the years. Only God knows when a heart is ready to turn to him, but he’s commanded us to plant, to water, to cut weeds, and then, when the time is right, to harvest. The main thing is to be faithful, to do those things he has commanded, and to be open to how he can use each of us in his process with different people, if we’re sensitive and we let him.”
“You mean Richard and Janet ‘harvested’ William,” Carrie said, “after maybe Mary planted seeds and others watered with words and actions over the years.”
“Exactly. Hey, William, you all right?”
William had been quiet and subdued during their entire session that evening. “Yes...actually, no. I’m sorry, Joe. I know this is one of the few things Jesus actually directs us to do... I have been listening. I guess I’m just really down about the Court ruling today.”
“I understand. It’s definitely not good. Not good. I’ve read that in societies with multiple wives all the women and children wind up competing for the father’s attention and love. So unlike children growing up in a nuclear family where they know they can be loved unconditionally, instead, wives, their sons and daughters wind up in competition with each other, and there are winners and losers. It really sounds like just what we need—more kids worried about whether their fathers love them!”
“I don’t see how the Supreme Court could be so stupid,” William continued. “And of course I feel terrible because two of the key votes came from justices I nominated. Joe, I’ve personally screwed up this country!”
Carrie said, “By their reasoning, Joe, it seems now that the worst thing a law can have is a biblical origin. William’s right. That’s so stupid. From what William’s read to me, virtually all our laws are based on the Bible. Yet the courts seem to pick the ones they want to discredit purely on that basis.”
“It’s simple.” Joe smiled. “Once you unhitch our laws and our standards for behavior from God’s rules, you’re headed for unchartered water and disaster. Or probably so.”
“Why do you say ‘probably ? It seems pretty certain to me.”
“Look, William, the nation’s laws are clearly very important. You’re right in saying that they should be based on God’s laws, as they were in our nation for over two hundred years, counting the time before independence. But look. Why are these laws changing now? Because people’s hearts have been changed for the worse. And changing all the laws back overnight, if that were even possible, wouldn’t change people’s hearts again. Men and women have to come, individually, to their Creator on their knees to get their hearts changed—I know that—and you know that. By God’s grace we’ve experienced his power to change us.
“So as important as our laws are for setting an environment for right behavior and for controlling actions, don’t fall into the trap of thinking that unless Washington does something, it won’t be done. God is bigger than Washington! People’s hearts get changed by what happens in their neighborhoods, their homes, their churches and their schools, and with their friends. Christ comes in and can eventually rule a nation, but he does so one heart at a time, usually by individual witnessing, over time, like we were just talking about. Not by an act of law.
“I understand your depression. It’s bad, this ruling today. But adultery and abuse and abortion and robbery and murder go on to some extent with or without laws to the contrary. Yes, we should have the laws. Presumably there were less of these sins when we swiftly punished some of them and didn’t lift others up as wonderful alternatives. But the sins won’t stop completely until the hearts change. And that’s a very local issue—so local that it’s individual.”
“Then how do I, as the president, affect pe
ople’s hearts, Joe?” William asked.
“I think you have to search out that answer in prayer with God. The Bible says we all have talents. Some are teachers, some evangelists, some providers, some helpers. Most of us have several talents and can take different roles in different situations. I suggest you spend a lot of time on your knees asking God that question and then listen.”
“Do you think I—we, Carrie and me—can affect hearts and change how people act?”
Joe smiled. “I’ve got no doubt. You’re a fairly good orator. And you’re in a reasonably high position! Once these classes end in two weeks, you’ll have plenty of time. But whether you’re just supposed to affect the hearts of your own children or of millions of people, I don’t know. Both are important. Again, ask God. It’s so important to do that. We’ve had a wonderful course here for, what, four months? Now you can put all you’ve learned to work. But you have to listen for God’s will, and his timing. The only way to do that is by continuing to study his Word and to pray.”
William reached for Carrie’s hand. “Then if we’re through with the lesson itself, let’s start now. And, Joe, I can’t tell you how many times in the last few months I’ve been led by Carrie, you, Michael, or someone back to the point about the importance of prayer. Do you think God’s trying to tell me something?”
Joe’s smile broadened. “I’d say he’s got out his two-by-four, trying to get your attention.”
William thought for a moment. “You’re right. Here, let’s kneel and ask for his will and his guidance in our lives.”
So for the third time that day William prayed to his Father to lead him. “I just want to submit to your will, Holy God,” he prayed from the bottom of his heart. “Please, Lord, lead me as your servant, and use me however you want. Show me your way.”
ONBOARD USS FORTSON—The ship searched for Petty Officer First Class Maggie Simpson until two hours past dawn the next morning. One of the Russian frigates returned during the night, and together they conducted a coordinated box search of the entire area. Finally, with the crew exhausted, Captain Robertson ordered the search stopped and instructed the navigator to set a course to rejoin the task group.
Two hours later, after showers but no sleep, the captain convened a meeting in his cabin with the executive officer, Electronics Chief Garnett Ellis; his division officer and department head, Thomas Dobbs; Maggie Simpson’s division officer, Teri Slocum; and her department head, Hugh Harrison.
Everyone was clearly in a very somber mood as the captain began, “Chief Ellis, I’ve never really had to do this at sea before, because we’ve never had loved ones so close by, frankly. So forgive me if I stumble a bit, but I want to tell you how sorry I—we—are. Tell me, please, were you engaged?”
The chief had been examining the captain’s tablecloth in detail, his arms folded across his chest. “Yes, two weeks ago.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Teri said, “I didn’t know, Chief Ellis. Maggie didn’t tell me. I’m really very sorry.”
“She—we—were afraid how the navy might take to us getting married. I told her we’d have the right to share some sort of married housing, even on the ship.” The captain and executive officer exchanged glances. “But she was afraid we might get separated or put off. And she loved her job. Then it killed her. But I told her we had a right to live together, after we were married. I figured if these guys”—he pointed to Thomas Dobbs and said with a bite to his voice, which the others tried to ignore—“can all live in a big commune, then the rest of us have some rights, too.” Everyone glanced away. Then he added bitterly, “I’d almost talked her into asking you to marry us, sir.”
The captain shifted in his chair. “I would have been honored, Chief Ellis. I’ve never had the pleasure of officiating at a wedding. Though I guess you may be right; it might become more common now.”
“Well, now you get to do her funeral.”
There was an awkward silence.
Finally the chief spoke again. “So, when does the inquiry start?”
“We’re getting statements from everyone on the bridge, the watch officer in the main engine room, and Petty Officer Pritchard. Then I’ll submit a report to the admiral.”
“Then the inquiry starts?”
“No. That’s the whole process. It was obviously an accident, but we have to record what happened and make recommendations for steps that could prevent a similar tragedy in the future.”
“You mean the only woman I’ve ever loved is killed by acts of obvious negligence and stupidity, and you’re just going to label it an accident and forget it?” the chief asked, his voice rising. “No way.”
Everyone turned to the captain, to see how he would react to the chief’s less-than-respectful language.
“Chief Ellis,” the captain responded, his voice level despite his fatigue, “the navy has procedures for almost everything, including accidental death on a combat ship. This job that we have is inherently risky. On an average deployment an aircraft carrier will lose four people to some type of accident. It’s awful, but we’re handling weapons, fuel, and natural forces twenty-four hours a day. So I’ll follow the procedure set out in naval regulations to investigate and report it.”
“Maggie was just pushing on a drawer. How dangerous should that have been? If that helmsman had been properly trained and supervised, or if weapons department procedure called for a safety belt, Maggie would still be alive.”
“Chief, I know you’re upset. We all share your grief. All of us knew Petty Officer Simpson. But there was no negligence here. It was an accident. A tragic accident.”
“I’ll never believe that, and neither will my older brother, who’s an attorney in Chicago. By the time we get back—maybe even before—I’ll have him research everything he can to find out who’s really to blame for Maggie’s death, and we’ll sue until we get real answers.”
Richard Anglin leaned forward in his chair and said, “Chief, the captain has explained that it was an accident, a freak accident. And people don’t sue the navy over a casualty at sea unless it involves intentional harm.”
“You mean Maggie is killed and no one’s to blame? No way. Someone’s got to be responsible. And if you won’t investigate, we will. My brother’s a mean attorney. Most of the other attorneys in Chicago hate him, ‘cause he never gives up. So don’t sweep this too far under the carpet, or you may have to crawl in there yourself to pull it out.”
Hugh couldn’t believe the chiefs impertinence and looked at the chiefs department head, expecting him to say something. Tom Dobbs saw Hugh’s look and said, “Chief, that’s really out of line to talk to the captain and XO like that, no matter how tired you are, after we’ve spent over twelve hours looking for your fiancee.”
The chief was unmoved. “Thanks a lot for nothing. And what would you know about this, anyway? Maggie was a woman, and one great woman at that. Now she’s gone. And I promise you all, someone’s going to pay for it.”
The captain slowly rose, and Hugh felt he looked ten years older than the day before. “Chief Ellis, we’re all very sorry, and obviously we’re all very tired. Before any of us says something he or she might really regret, I suggest we break up for now. We’ll follow the set procedure, as I’ve outlined. You’re welcome to participate and to read the statements, so long as you don’t interfere with the process. If, after all that, you still feel compelled to sue the navy or us or me, then I guess you’ll know where to find us. Now, good morning.”
The others rose with the captain, and they all filed out of his cabin, except Anglin, whom the captain asked to stay for some further discussions.
As the others headed for their staterooms or working spaces, Teri asked Hugh if she could stop in his room for a minute. Inside, she collapsed on his chair as he sat on the bunk built out from the wall.
“They didn’t train us for much of this at Annapolis,” she said, her voice fading from lack of sleep and the emotional drain.
“No, you’re
right. No one foresaw husbands and wives—or lovers— serving together on combat ships! Where does Ellis imagine we’d create married housing? Build condos on the upper decks? And for longer deployments we could turn one of the ammunition magazines into a nursery. I assume that having kids on board, as the ‘right’ of the parents, will be next.”
Teri managed a smile. “Oh, I think he’s just very, very hurt and looking for a target to blame right now.” Then she turned serious again. “I was talking about death. They don’t train us about death. Maggie was such a wonderful young woman and a friend. She had everything going for her. Everyone liked her—and obviously at least one man loved her. Now she’s dead. And maybe I am to blame in some way. I mean, that radar is ours. Maybe there should have been more maintenance on those parts. And the helmsman; maybe I should have caught his mistake sooner. If I’d done either of those, Maggie might very well still be alive.”
“Come on, Teri. Don’t start down that path. You heard the captain. It was an accident. Pure and simple. We can’t foresee everything. Only God can do that. And I guess for reasons we don’t understand, it was his will for Maggie to die now. I can’t explain it, but I know he’s in charge. You’re not to blame. Now we all need to grab some shut-eye before lunch.” Hugh stretched out on his bunk and put his hands behind his head on the pillow.
Teri slowly stood up and turned to the door, putting her hand on the doorknob. “Thanks. I may be too tired to sleep. But I appreciate your thoughts. I’m going to check on Alice and the rest of my girls. Most of them are raking Maggies death pretty hard. I don’t think they’ve ever really considered how close we all might be to death here. Anyway, maybe I’ll eat an early lunch and then try to lie down. Thanks again. See ya.”
She turned around to nod good-bye but found that Hugh was already sound asleep. She nodded anyway, turned off the overhead light, and quietly shut his door behind her.
16
We are a religious people whose institutions presuppose a Supreme Being.
The President Page 38
