"I'll be right back," he promised Alexandra and Suzanne as he hurried off to join the group of men.
Suzanne saw a friend from school and went to catch a word with the girl, leaving Alexandra alone. She walked down the steps of the church, passing several groups of ladies, who glanced her way, but did not motion for her to join them.
The same ladies who had sat inside her new home drinking tea now snubbed her. Disappointed, she couldn't help but wonder, would she ever be truly accepted again?
Alexandra pulled her shoulders back and held her head high as she walked down the sidewalk to the waiting carriage. A small group of women stood on the sidewalk, Lizzie Rozili amongst them. She waved to Alexandra and left the group. As much as Alexandra tried, Lizzie was not a woman she felt comfortable with. In fact, after the way Lizzie had brought the attention of Hester's Revenge to everyone at the tea party, not to mention her innuendos about her "friendship" with Connor, Alexandra didn't care for the lady at all.
"Good morning, Mrs. Manning."
"Good morning, Mrs. Rozili," Alexandra said hesitantly.
"Did you enjoy the service this morning?"
"It was lovely."
Lizzie laid a hand on Alexandra's arm and leaned closer to her. "I have to tell you I thought your tea went rather well the other day."
Alexandra smiled. "Thank you. I enjoyed hosting it for Suzanne."
"Connor is very protective of that girl, isn't he? I guess I never realized how much until the other day when he went to Mrs. Jorgansen to make sure Suzanne's coming out tea was a success," she confessed.
Alexandra looked at the young woman, feeling slightly off balance. "What did you say?"
Lizzie feigned a surprised look, a satisfied smirk on her lips. "You didn't know? Oh, dear, I think I must have made a terrible blunder. Please forget I've said anything.''
Alexandra felt as if someone had punched her in the gut. Still reeling with shock, she asked, "Connor went to Mrs. Jorgansen about Suzanne's tea?"
"Well, he found out no one was going to attend. He knew if Mrs. Jorgansen went, then all the ladies would feel compelled to put in an appearance. Being married to him, I thought he would certainly tell you," she offered, a placating look on her face.
The lump in Alexandra's throat expanded and swelled. She swallowed and blinked, trying to hold back the tears, refusing to break down in front of this woman who would only relish in her pain. "No. But it's quite all right, Lizzie. If he had told me, then you would not have had the pleasure of informing me."
Lizzie smiled sweetly. "Well, I thought it best you know. I didn't want poor Suzanne to be embarrassed if you held another party and no one came."
"It's so nice to know you have her best interests at heart," Alexandra said, unable to control the sarcastic tone in her voice.
Lizzie looked around Alexandra to a waiting carriage. "There's my carriage. I must be going. It was nice talking to you."
"The pleasure was all mine," Alexandra managed to grind out between gritted teeth.
How could women be so cruel when it came to men? Since Lizzie had not managed to attach Connor to her side forever, she was doing everything in her power to help make Alexandra's world miserable.
What had been a pleasant experience suddenly felt tarnished and dirty with the lies and deceit of the other women. Dirty because her husband had manipulated the ladies into attending, rather than letting her succeed or fail on her own. She didn't need him protecting her from society's scorn. She'd been on her own for more than five years, and she could take care of herself.
Stunned, she walked the rest of the short distance to their surrey and managed to climb inside. She wanted to slink away and hide forever, she was so ashamed. Everyone had known but her. Everyone had been involved in the deceit.
But Connor's part hurt the most. Just when she was beginning to trust him, he had gone behind her back and spoken about her to the most important social matron in town. He was just like her father, controlling, treating her little better than a child.
Her face flooded with embarrassment. How everyone in town must be laughing at her. Had her own husband laughed at her, knowing she was making a fool of herself in front of all of the women in town? She had written Mrs. Jorgansen and all of the other guests a letter to thank them for attending Suzanne's party. Apparently, she should have thanked Connor instead.
Alexandra clenched her fists. The shock was beginning to wear off, and the more she thought about what Connor had done, the angrier she became.
For Connor to let her think she had been accepted by the women of Charleston, when he had manipulated the ladies into attending, made her angry enough to want to practice her needlework on him.
She sat inside the carriage, fuming and waiting for Suzanne and Connor to return. After what seemed like hours, but which she knew had only been minutes, Suzanne and Connor found her fairly smoldering in the buggy.
"There you are. We've been looking everywhere," Suzanne exclaimed.
Connor gazed at her. "Are you feeling all right?"
"I'm fine," she replied curtly.
Connor helped Suzanne into the surrey, then climbed aboard. The three of them were sandwiched into the small buggy, but the trip to church had been cozy and fun. Now the cramped quarters only heightened Alexandra's tense mood. She didn't want anyone touching her. She wanted to get out of the buggy.
Clicking to the horses, Connor guided them out onto the boulevard that would begin the long trip back to River Bend.
"Did you see Mrs. Jorgansen?" Suzanne asked Alexandra.
"No."
"She told me I did a wonderful job for my first tea."
Alexandra looked out at the sharecroppers' shacks dotting the edge of town. The drab little homes looked cheerful compared to the way she felt inside. "That's nice."
She felt Connor's gaze upon her. "I'm sorry I left you alone for so long, Alexandra. I should have stayed closer."
A faint smile touched her lips. "Oh, no, Connor. I'm so glad you didn't. It gave Lizzie and me a chance to have a nice chat. That—that woman is quite remarkable when it comes to gossip."
Connor glanced at her uncomfortably and shifted on the seat. "What did she tell you?"
"Plenty."
Turning her face away, she realized they were still thirty minutes away from River Bend. The rolling fields and sparse trees filled her vision, and she let their beauty wash over her, cooling her anger.
Why was she surprised? When would she learn not to put her trust in society or people? When would she learn not to trust men?
Suzanne touched her arm, and Alexandra flinched. "Are you all right?" Suzanne asked.
Alexandra met her gaze and saw the genuine concern on the young girl's face. She glanced at Connor, and his blue eyes looked at her, questioning. "I'm fine," Alexandra said.
She withdrew into herself for the rest of the ride home. As soon as the carriage halted in front of the house, Alexandra jumped from the surrey and all but ran up the stairs and into her room. Pulling the key from her hiding place, she locked the door behind her.
Sitting on the bed, she couldn't help but think that people were never going to forgive her for her past. No matter what she did, the humiliation would always be with her. She lay down on the bed, her head on her arm, and quietly wept for the acceptance she would never regain. For the loss of her reputation.
It wasn't long until she heard Connor outside her door. "Alexandra, I want to talk to you."
"Go away," she cried.
He rattled the door and found it locked. She heard him curse, then walk away.
***
Something had happened at church to bring on Alexandra's tears. Something he was sure Lizzie had said. But what?
The sound of Alexandra quietly sobbing had wrenched at Connor's heart. He'd left her alone for ten minutes, but during that time Lizzie had done her damage.
Later that day, he watched through the window as Alexandra made her way through his mother's garden, checkin
g on the flowers, making sure they were watered.
Quietly he made his way outdoors, walking up behind her. "This used to be one of my mother's favorite places. She called it peaceful."
He heard a sniff and saw Alexandra's hand reach up and swipe at her eyes. She sat down on the stone bench and turned her face away from him.
"Why are you crying?" he asked, sitting down beside her.
She turned to look at him, and he saw a flash of anger in her eyes, followed quickly by despair. "Why didn't you tell me no one was going to attend the party? You let me go on and on about how I could still be a successful hostess when you knew all along that wasn't true."
Connor hung his head for just a second before he looked into her painfilled eyes. "I see Lizzie has spread her nasty venom."
"Is it true?"
He held his breath for just a second too long. "Yes."
"Why couldn't you be honest with me? Why didn't you tell me the truth?"
Connor shrugged his shoulders. "I hoped you'd never find out. I knew how hard you had worked to help Suzanne and I wanted to spare you the disappointment."
"I feel so stupid for believing I could somehow advance your sister, that I could ease her way into society. That people would give me a second chance now that we were married." She wrung her handkerchief in her hands. Her eyes drooped like a wilted hothouse flower, and suddenly he wanted to revive her and bring back the stubborn woman who defied him at every turn.
Connor folded her into his arms and held her close, her tears splashing on his shirt. "It doesn't matter."
"No, I guess it doesn't. It's obvious they've already made up their minds about me. I'll always be 'that divorced hussy.' "
Her words left him feeling small for not letting her know the truth regarding the tea, while her tears filled him with regret. For a man, it was different to be shunned by polite society. It was almost alluring and glamorous, but not for a woman. For a woman who had been ostracized, her reality was a painful lesson in snobbery. A woman's reputation was a prized possession, her only asset. Once it was gone, it could never be returned or repaired.
The top of her head fit perfectly beneath his chin, and he kissed the top of her head. Her arms were around his middle and she leaned into him.
"Alexandra, I'm s—orry." The words seemed to stick in his throat. He couldn't remember the last time they'd left his lips. "I should have told you the truth, but I don't regret going to Mrs. Jorgansen. I had to think of Suzanne. Yet from what I saw and from what Suzanne has said, I think your grace and manners surprised the women. The party was a success."
Alexandra raised her head and looked into his eyes. "They were polite to my face, but even today at church no one asked me to join them. No one said hello except the preacher and Lizzie."
Connor ached inside for his wife. He pulled her back into his chest and gently rubbed her back in a circular motion."It's going to take some time. We have to present a united front to the people of Charleston. But in the end, you will be accepted."
She raised her head and gazed at him, her eyes the same shade of green as the leaves of his mother's rose bushes. "How can you be so sure?"
He took her hand and laid it over her heart. "Because once they get to know the person who lives in here, they'll be unable to snub you anymore. They may not know what to believe about you now, but they'll be drawn to your good heart."
Alexandra gazed at him, her eyes misty with tears, a look of awe on her face.
Unable to resist the bewitching bewilderment etched on her face, Connor reached down and kissed the tip of her nose impulsively. An unexpected tremor passed through him at the casual contact. He glanced at her lips, and a slow heat seemed to infuse his body. He watched her tongue moisten her lips and felt an irresistible pull toward the mouth he craved.
His lips touched hers, and for a moment he felt sure there must have been a sizzling sound as he let himself be consumed by her heat. He'd waited days for this kiss. It seemed he'd waited a lifetime for this woman.
A moan escaped the back of her throat as his tongue teased the edges of her mouth, coaxing her into a dance of desire. He felt like a young man again, on the precipice of a great black hole. One false move and he'd go tumbling end over end into the great unknown.
His hands moved down her back, pressing her breasts against him. The feel of her soft mounds hard against his chest left him longing to touch them naked against his skin. She was sweetness and spice. She was innocent and seductive.
Gently, he laid her down on the garden bench, his lips never leaving hers. His breathing was harsh in his throat. His hand touched the base of her neck, and then slowly he slid his hand down her body, stroking her breast, her waist, until he reached beneath her skirt to her pantalets.
His fingers glided up the silky material of her legs, to the secret place between her thighs. With the touch of his hand she arched her back, his fingers moist with the evidence of her desire.
She was more than he had ever imagined or expected, and he wanted her more than anything he had ever desired in his life. He wanted her completely, needed her aching for him as much as he ached for her.
The realization that he cared why she would submit to him stunned him and he broke off the kiss, pulling away from her. For the first time in his life, he decided not to take a woman when he knew he could easily overcome her objections. But this woman was different from any he could remember. And though part of his body was crying out that he was a fool, it was suddenly important that she come to him willingly. He wanted her complete and total surrender. Qnly then would he be satisfied.
Alexandra sat up on the stone bench, her hair slightly mussed. She gazed at him, her face flushed, her eyes dark with passion. He reached over and kissed her on the cheek. "It's almost time for dinner. Have you forgotten your Aunt Clara and Uncle Sydney are coming?"
"No ..." She looked at him, bewildered, anxious. "I think I should go dress."
She stood and smoothed out the wrinkles in her skirt absently while gazing at him, a stunned expression on her face. Then she turned and hurried from the garden almost at a run, as if the feelings he had aroused were chasing her.
The urge to run after her and finish what he'd started was strong, yet Connor resisted.
Chapter Ten
Candlelight shimmered over the table. The smell of succulent roast filled the air, but Alexandra felt removed and distant from the gay atmosphere. Her mind was trapped in the memory of this afternoon's kiss in the garden. The smell of gardenias and the taste of Connor filled her senses, holding her captive, refusing to let her go.
He could have taken her right there on that cold stone bench. His consoling words of comfort and gentle reassurance had all but melted away her resistance. She had been past caring, only consumed with the need to feel him crushed against her breasts, his hand touching her innermost self.
But he had stopped! He had backed away when her starving body craved his touch, was ready to surrender to the feelings he evoked.
Why had she suddenly been willing to succumb to Connor, after resisting him for weeks?
She glanced across the table as he laughed at something her Uncle Sydney said. Connor's eyes met hers. He smiled, and she felt a jolt of sensuality race up her spine.
From the first night they met, he had reminded her of Gordon. Yet she was slowly discovering Connor was different. It was those subtle differences that were gradually eroding her resistance. Connor wasn't coldly calculating. He wasn't cruel and demanding. He was charming to a fault, and deep down, he genuinely cared about people.
And though as a bachelor he'd had the reputation of a rake, there was a softer, gentler side that only his sister and now Alexandra knew of. A side that was often hidden. A side she had experienced this afternoon in the garden.
No one had shown her this kind of consideration. No one had ever held her while she cried, vowed that everything would be all right. Connor had done three nice things for her since their marriage, and she didn't know
what to make of his kindness.
But the biggest difference in her life with Connor was that she had never been attracted to Gordon as she was drawn to Connor. It was exciting, yet unnerving.
Until their marriage a month ago, she had never planned on being involved with a man again. And even since the marriage, she'd schemed to leave as soon as she received enough royalties to supplement the trust fund from her late aunt.
Yet the prospect didn't seem as exhilarating now. The idea of leaving Connor and Suzanne wasn't as simple as before. Her dreams of living independently of any man weren't quite so compelling. She didn't know what she wanted anymore. She liked her life here at River Bend, but she felt so confused.
The idea of this marriage working seemed ludicrous, but part of her was attracted to the thought. Part of her wanted to remain, to become Mrs. Manning in every sense of the word.
Part of her wondered what it would be like to make love to Connor. Would he be slow and sensual, caring for her feelings?
She'd sworn she never wanted to experience sex again, but somehow images of Connor and herself together in bed kept popping up in her mind. The thought brought a blush to her cheeks, and she could not help but glance across the table, her eyes meeting his again. Their gazes locked. The corner of his lips turned up in a sensuous smile.
Was she out of her mind for even considering making love to Connor? Hadn't she made a vow that this man would never get into her bed? Yet it was almost a month into their marriage, and all she could think about was the way his hands felt on her body, the taste of his lips, and the sound of his voice. He was intelligent, warm, and caring, nothing at all like what she had expected.
Part of her wanted to finish what he had begun in the garden this afternoon. She wanted... what she could not have.
"Dear, you seem a thousand miles away tonight. Are you feeling well?" Aunt Clara asked, her voice full of concern.
Alexandra shook herself. "I'm sorry, Aunt Clara. I've ... I've a slight headache."
"You've hardly touched your food. Leona is going to be displeased with you," Connor admonished, a frown furrowing his brow.
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