by Styles, T.
From the driver’s seat Farah said, “Dumbness, you would fuck anybody. You don’t give a fuck what they look like. So don’t even try it.” Everybody laughed.
Over the years Farah became cool with Rhonda and Natasha, just as long as they didn’t come between her and Coconut’s friendship. It was her way of keeping an eye on them. If the three of them went somewhere without her, Farah would make Coconut feel so guilty that she’d find herself apologizing for weeks. Before long, Farah was in control of the friendship and she was very overprotective. In the end, despite Rhonda and Natasha knowing Coconut first, they backed off, and always went to Farah before planning any group functions.
“That’s not true!” Natasha said angrily. “I don’t just fuck with anybody.”
“Sure you do, dumbness,” Farah continued. “You got bad taste and everybody know it.”
“Girl, you wrong as shit,” Rhonda said, shaking her head. “One day she gonna rise up on your ass.”
“Shut the fuck up, Black and Ike’s,” Farah retaliated. “That girl know I’m just playing with her. Don’t you, dumbness?” Farah loved to antagonize to expose weaknesses. She was acting just like Brownie and she didn’t even know it.
“I know you betta stop calling me Black and Ike’s before I fuck you up.” Rhonda giggled. “One day I’ma slap the shit out of you and catch you off guard.”
Skipping the subject Farah said, “Y’all know me and Coconut moving together, right?” She looked at Rhonda and saw the sly look on her face.
“So y’all really gonna do it, huh?” Rhonda said. “Live in holy matrimony.”
“Don’t be stupid!” Coconut said.
“I’m just playing. But Farah be acting like y’all about to get married or something. It’s just an apartment.”
Farah was so concerned with having Coconut all to herself that she forgot about the reason she needed a roommate to begin with: that she lost Zone to his death. “Y’all so jealous it’s crazy. Don’t worry, we gonna let you come over sometimes.”
“Why you say y’all’?” Natasha said. “I didn’t even say nothing.”
Farah laughed at her until her iPhone dinged, indicating she had a text. Her eyes alternated from the road to her phone, as she sped faster to catch the light. Doing two things at once, she picked up the phone and saw it was from Randy. It had been a month since he chased her, and she was hoping he’d moved on with his life. Deciding to read the message the moment she saw it, her heart dropped.
I saw you and your friends leaving the dealership. I started to put my hands on you. But I want you alone. I better see you by the end of the week. If I don’t, next time I won’t be so nice.
“Farah ... slow the fuck down!” Rhonda yelled. “You can’t text and drive at the same time!”
Farah was caught so off guard by the message that she snapped, thinking she was trying to tell her how to drive again. “Rhonda, if you don’t like my driving you can get the fuck out my car.”
“Bitch, you about to hit a ... ” When Farah looked up, she saw a man walking across the street. She pressed on her brakes, causing her tires to make a screeching noise, and hurting her toe even more. Because it had snowed and the ground was wet the car didn’t stop. The man turned around only to see a car coming at him at a rapid speed. He tried to run but the front of her Benz knocked him off his feet and sent him flying into the air. His body bounced on the hood of the car and slid to the ground.
The phone, which had distracted her, dropped out of Farah’s hand and hit the floor of the car. The girls were stunned silent and nobody made a move. Farah was waiting for him to get up and walk away, hoping he’d be okay. Or maybe he would call for help, indicating he was still alive. “Everybody okay?” she asked, glancing over her friends.
Everyone looked at Rhonda. She rubbed her pregnant belly and said, “We good.”
Farah spent another five seconds looking ahead of her. “You gonna go check on him?” Coconut said. When she didn’t answer, she spoke louder. “Farah! Go see if he’s okay.”
Silence.
“You just hit somebody, bitch,” Rhonda said. “Either check on his ass, or pull the fuck off.”
Farah slowly exited her car and limped toward the front. Her door remained open, and it was so silent outside that you could hear the clacking of her Christian Louboutin boots walking on the wet ground. Standing in the front, she noticed that the Benz emblem on the hood of her car was splattered with red blood. When she looked at the man lying in front of her right wheel, she saw that his eyes were closed and he was not moving. Realizing that she just struck a man, she looked around for spectators. She didn’t see anyone. When she believed the coast was clear, she bent down and checked his pulse. A few moments later she hopped to the car, jumped in, and said, “I didn’t feel a pulse.” She looked at all of her friends. “He’s fuckin’ dead.”
“I don’t know about you, but I ain’t trying to see no police,” Rhonda said. “Let me see what this Benz can do, bitch.”
Farah backed her car up and maneuvered around the man she just hit. When he was out of her way, she sped off and looked at him through her rearview mirror. Nobody said a word, and it was understood that going out to the restaurant was dead. Since Rhonda was the only one with a house in the hood, they decided to stop past her place first. Rhonda gave Farah a bucket, and she filled it with soapy water to rinse the blood off. When she was done washing away her crime, they all met in Rhonda’s bedroom. Natasha was sitting on the floor, Rhonda on the bed, and Coconut and Farah were standing. “I don’t wanna really say what doesn’t need to be said,” Coconut started, looking at the girls, “but we ain’t see shit and we don’t know shit. Right?”
Natasha remained silent as she bit her nails, which were already nubs. “You hear me, bitch?” Coconut said, looking down at her. “You good?”
“What?” she asked, looking at Farah and Coconut. “I ain’t saying nothing. Relax!”
Farah looked at Rhonda. “You cool too, right?”
“Girl, everybody in my family graduates to crime. Don’t insult my gangsta.”
Farah was partially relieved. She didn’t stop to think that everything her grandmother told her about her life—falling out of order if her heart wasn’t in the right place—was coming to pass.
Chapter 14
A Week Later
“You can do whatever you want, but I think you’ll be playing yourself.”
—Farah
Farah sat on the toilet with her legs spread. She rubbed her belly because she was in extreme pain and was in need of some relief. With one hand on her knee, the other held the cell phone as she took a shit. Coconut was on the phone oblivious to what she was doing. Farah would’ve never answered the call if she hadn’t been trying to reach Coconut since the hit and run. She hated to admit it, but she thought she was dodging her. “How come you just getting back with me now?” Farah asked. “I been calling you all week.”
“I’m not gonna lie, I been out of it since that shit happened.”
Farah was on edge wondering if Coconut turned on her, and told somebody about the accident. “Why you been out of it? I killed his ass, not you, and nothing wrong with me. Look ... nobody saw shit. Ain’t no need in worrying. They didn’t even bring it up in the news yet.”
“Okay. You’re right. Look ... I don’t want to talk about it no more. How you been holding up without Zone?”
“I’m better. I can’t wait until you move in. It would be so hard to pay the rent by myself. My mother gives me a little bit of money from her social security but it ain’t enough.” Coconut seemed really silent. “Hold up ... you still moving in, right?”
“Farah, I can’t move in with you, I’m sorry. I talked about it with Jake and he said we were gonna get our own place soon. I think he gonna ask me to marry him or something.”
Farah was so angry that she felt like throwing the phone into the wall. This was why she never approved of Jake, even when they were in high school. He was always gr
oping and pulling on Coconut, and now he was ruining their friendship. “You told me you would move with me. You can’t change your mind now. You know Zone died and I need you.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry. I really am ... but I can’t.”
Farah snapped and said, “You know what, I’ma call you back, since you putting him before me.”
“Okay... .”
“Wait!” Farah yelled before she hung up. “Don’t go.” Coconut would normally stop her from hanging up, but this time she didn’t. “What am I supposed to do now? You leaving me stranded.”
“You should still get a roommate. So you won’t have to worry about paying rent by yourself. It ain’t like you don’t have four rooms in that mothafucka. And you said it yourself, Natasha is looking to move too. Ask her.”
“Naw, I need my own space,” Farah said, dismissing the idea. “I’m good.” It was obvious she had an attitude but Coconut refused to bite.
“Okay.” She sighed. “Anyway, what’s up with Chloe? I was over Shannon house the other day and people were saying she let five dudes gang fuck her at the same time.”
If there was one bitch Farah hated it was Shannon, so she didn’t want to hear anything she had to say. After all these years, it angered her that they were still cool. “Don’t ask me about that bitch right now.”
“Did I miss something?”
“Chloe did some unnatural-ass shit I don’t want to talk about. Let’s leave the box right there and not open it.”
“I don’t know what the fuck that means but I’ma drop it.” She paused. “Oh, my God, I wish you could see all the things I bought for Rhonda’s baby.” The sound of plastic bags rattled in the background. “She gonna be so psyched.” She giggled. “I found these real cute unisex baby sleepers and bibs. I done bought all this shit and now I want a baby of my own.”
The baby shower was taking place in a few months at Farah’s house. Everybody who was anybody was going to be there and Coconut wanted to come out looking like God when it was all said and done. “Don’t be stupid, bitch. You and Jake ain’t having no baby.”
“I’m serious! If you saw all these tiny little clothes you’d change your mind too.” Still shitting, Farah gripped her stomach and used her abdominal muscles to push out the last few pieces. Moaning, she said, “I can’t believe you doing all that shopping anyway.” She flushed the toilet. “On her registry she said she wanted gift cards. You could’ve saved yourself the time and aggravation simply by following the fucking instructions. I bought her a fifty dollar gift certificate.”
Coconut giggled. “Girl, I love to shop! I’ma let y’all tacky-ass mothafuckas buy the baby gift cards.” More bags rustled in the background. “The baby is gonna be so cute. You know Rhonda and Knight got them sleepy-ass eyes.”
All the talk about the baby, and the fact that she was no longer going to be her roommate, was starting to get on her nerves. “Whatever. For all we know the baby won’t make it and die.”
“Why would you say some dumb shit like that?”
“I’m telling the truth! You know Rhonda’s ass be getting high while she’s pregnant.”
Coconut laughed. “Did you really buy her a fifty dollar gift card?”
“Look, since Zone fell out of that window and you telling me you won’t room with me, I’m on my own. I ain’t got no money to give Rhonda or her fucking embryo-ass baby. Farah felt a little better since her bowels were clear, and spread her legs to wipe the shit stains from her asshole. Throwing the soiled tissue in the toilet, she flushed again.
“Hold up; was you just talking to me while you were using the bathroom?”
“Coconut, don’t act like you don’t shit too.”
“Yeah, whatever, girl.” Coconut paused. “Can you just call Natasha for me on three way?”
Over the years, Farah managed to be the only one in the group who had everyone’s number. From erasing contact information to stealing phones, she successfully kept everybody apart. Farah rolled her eyeballs around in her head like they were loose. “Call her for what?”
“Because I wanna make sure we ain’t get the same shit from Rhonda’s list. If I know her ass, she may try to upstage me.”
“I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“Can you do it now?” she persisted. “If we got the same stuff I’d rather take it back instead of waiting later.”
“Damn! You pressed. Hold on!” Farah put the phone on the bathroom floor and washed her hands. Then she looked at herself in the mirror. Since she got the medicine from Grand Mike she was feeling better than she ever had in her entire life. The only thing on her mind now was how she was going to keep her apartment at Platinum Lofts with no money or job. She could kill Coconut’s ass for changing up. Farah had a plan that was ironclad before she changed her mind. She knew that if she moved in, Jake’s drug-dealing ass would be paying for everything.
Going back home was out of the question. She almost lost the apartment since her name was not on the lease. Vivian James, the property manager, was on a mission. But after taking the matter to court, Vivian learned the agreement she had with Zone was valid, and Farah had a right to be there. On one condition: that she could pay the rent. If Farah failed, Vivian wouldn’t hesitate to throw her out on the streets, knowing she could double the rent and secure herself a bonus.
After Farah washed and dried her hands, she put unscented lotion on so that her disease wouldn’t flare up. When she was done she picked up the phone. “You still there?” She brushed her medium-length brown hair to cover the bald spot in the middle of her head, due to years of hair pulling, and a few strands floated into the sink. Lately she stopped the hair chewing, and she loved it.
“Damn, bitch! It took you long enough to come back to the phone. Did you bring her to your house or what?”
Farah ignored her and frantically wiped the hair off the sink and floor using a wet piece of toilet tissue. Zone hated hair lying around because it always ended up in his ass or under his nut sack. She was in no mood to hear his mouth, and then she remembered he was dead. She’d seen to it. She threw the toilet tissue in the trash. “Girl, you know that bitch put me on hold and never came back to the phone,” she lied. “I told you she sometimey. You keep thinking she your good friend, when she not.” Farah walked into her bedroom and looked at the bed. It felt weird being there without Zone, but she was sure she’d get used to it. “Just get a gift receipt and call it a day. That way if she do get the same stuff, you can take it back.”
“Naw, I gotta know. Just tell her to call me. I don’t know how we keep losing each other’s numbers. It’s fucked up that we all friends but I still gotta go through you to give Natasha and Rhonda messages.”
Farah went to her dresser and grabbed the blunt Zone rolled before he died. It was old, hard, and dry. Feeling in need of a buzz, she decided now was the time to burn them flames, a habit she picked up from Coconut. “Don’t worry, if there’s an urgent message I can relay it.” She blew out smoke. “I’m the only friend you need.”
Coconut sighed. “We not kids no more so stop saying that stupid shit.”
Already feeling the effects of the weed, Farah’s mind went into left field. “Girl, how ’bout that baby gonna be black as shit.” Farah laughed. “You know Knight already blacker than the inside of an eyeball and Rhonda ass so dark she look burnt.” Farah laughed harder. “That kid gonna be some kind of ugly.”
“First of all, you talking about a baby. Secondly, you of all people shouldn’t be talking about nobody dark. That’s all you keep talking about, having a black strong nigga.”
“So the fuck what? Ugly is ugly I don’t give a fuck how old it is.”
“I’m about to go. Just give Natasha my message.”
“Wait! Before you go can you do me a favor?”
“How big?”
“Why not ask how small?”
“Farah, what do you need?”
“I’m trying to go see Tank again this weekend. You know I need money for
rent since you not moving with me no more. So he gonna give it to me.”
“Bitch, get the fuck out of here. You and me both know Tank’s broke ass ain’t giving you shit but troubles.”
“Well, I think he’s gonna give me cash this time.”
“Whenever you ready to tell the truth I’m gonna be here to listen.” Farah sat on the edge of her bed. “I gotta go. Coconut was starting to tire of Farah because she was too emotional, and petty.
“A’ight!” Farah said before inhaling the blunt again. “It’s like this, I wanna run the ménage à trois scheme again. I asked him for the money when I was at his house and he ain’t give it to me like he said he would. Even though I let him fuck me while I was on my period.”
Coconut was beyond irritated. “I don’t know if I’m with all that.”
“Please, Coconut! I’d do it for you.”
“But what if that big mothafucka wakes up and wants some pussy for real? I ain’t sign up for all of that.”
“If he wake up, we gonna do what we gotta do.”
“Farah, I’m not down with that shit no more. I got a man, plus the nigga grosses me out. And what’s in it for me? she asked. “The last time we did that shit, you gave me fifty bucks and kept the rest of the money when I was the one who did all the work.”
“You’ll be helping a friend who’s about to be put out. And a friend you didn’t tell you wasn’t moving in with until the last minute.”
Not wanting her friend out on the street, Coconut battled with whether to help her. Truthfully she thought the scheme was dumb because Farah never got more than a couple of hundred dollars from Tank, although she swore he stashed more.
