by Styles, T.
“You said they were your best friends.” Farah remained silent. Lesa looked at her and laughed. “Farah, I hope you not one of them girls that get jealous when they friends meet each other,”she said as her cool-down period kicked in, allowing her to walk instead of run. She leaned on the bar for support. “That kind of cruddy shit is for kids. We grown-ass women now and gotta act like it.”
“It’s not even like that. It’s just that Coconut can be real fake. Plus she be so far up her friend Shannon’s ass that she could kiss the inside of her mouth. She know I don’t like that bitch. What kind of shit is that? Friends supposed to have each other’s backs.” Lesa felt she was being immature. “I’m serious. Rhonda is my friend and I bought her all this shit for her baby shower, and Coconut said she bought it.” She was lying so much, she had no idea what she was talking about anymore. “She tried to turn her against me. I went ahead and told Rhonda last night, when I finally got her on the phone, that Coconut don’t fuck with her like that. You don’t know them; they troublemakers. Now I know why her own mother pushed shit in her face when she was a kid.”
Lesa frowned. “What? Why would she do that?”
“Maybe she was an outsider. And a liar.” Farah dropped her head. Her web of lies brought up bad memories. “Coconut’s family is a bunch of murderers. Her father killed this boy and his family just because he bumped into his car and scratched the paint. And they even killed my friend Theo’s mother.”
“Do the police know about all of this?”
“No. I’m too afraid to tell.” She swallowed. “And the only reason I’m letting you know is because you’re my roommate and Coconut can be sneaky.” Farah lied so much in forty seconds that her head hurt. She would have to drink orange juice and chocolate syrup later. She mixed the truth and twisted it around all to hide who she was. She was digging holes deep enough to get lost in forever. Everything Elise said on the phone went out the window.
“Wow ... First off, if Coconut’s mother did that shit to her, she needs to be destroyed. That’s some heartless shit that should never be done to anybody.” Lesa words scratched up feelings in Farah, since it was actually her reality. “And if they murdered anybody, they’ll get what’s coming to them sooner or later. People like that always do. It just seems like they were all very nice girls but I guess you never really know anybody.”
They both got off of the treadmills and moved toward the locker room. “You’re right about that. You never really know anybody,” Farah repeated. Even though she should’ve stopped a long time ago, she couldn’t stop making up stories as she went along. It was as if she were in a marathon of lies. “Rhonda did say she better never see her because she gonna step to her, pregnant or not.”
They walked into the locker room. “Based on you, your friends seem a little feistier than they look. For real they remind me of me and my crew.” Lesa moved to her locker and began spinning the dial on her combination lock.
“Trust me, it’s serious. Plus, Rhonda holding a secret over Coconut’s head.”
“What? Heavier than her family being murderers?” Lesa stopped what she was doing and moved toward Farah.
She giggled. “Kinda. Coconut killed this man during a hit and run some time back. We were in the car at the time and saw it. We don’t talk about it but we all remember. She can be real dangerous.”
“You going overboard to convince me how Coconut is. Point taken; I’m leaving her alone.
Farah opened her locker and grabbed her bag, leaving Lesa to her own thoughts. The moment she opened the door, she heard her phone ringing. When she removed it and saw an unknown number appear across the screen, she knew immediately it was her father. “Hold on, Lesa. I gotta take this.”
“I’m jumping in the shower.” Farah looked at her feet. “With no shower shoes?” Lesa kept walking and Farah shook her head. “Nasty bitch,”she said to herself before answering the call. “Hi, Daddy. How you holding up?”
“I’m better now that I hear your voice.”He chuckled. “I’d be doing even better if you came and saw me, Redbone. I miss you.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy. So much has been happening around here that I haven’t had the time. But I’ll try to come see you next week. You need money or books? Magazines? I can order them today so they’ll send them tomorrow.”
“You know I’ve always taken care of myself in here. I would never ask my family to fund my crime ... I told you that before. The question is, do you need anything?”
“Daddy, I’m fine. And I don’t look at it that way. You can’t do stuff like order books and things like that. It’s the least I can do, Daddy, and I don’t mind.”
“I’m fine for now. Really. Now, what’s this I’m hearing from Dr. Martin that you aren’t seeing him anymore? You can’t play with your illness, Farah. One wrong move and you could push yourself into the acute stage.”
“Daddy, I’m fine.” She sighed. “What I’m doing now is working real good. I haven’t had a real issue in a minute. Don’t worry. While she was on the phone, a white girl got out of the shower completely naked. She used the towel that should have been covering her body to dry her hair instead. Farah hated when people walked around nude in the locker room. When the girl saw Farah staring she rolled her eyes and Farah rolled hers back. The girl grabbed a can of hairspray from her locker, went to the mirror, and wrapped the damp towel around her body.
“Happy now?” the girl asked. “Since you staring so hard.”
“You still there?” Ashur asked.
“Yeah, I’m just tired of dumbass bitches doing dumbass shit.” She rolled her eyes at the woman.
“I see you’ve gotten spicier. You use to be the nice one. Don’t change on me, baby.”
“You sound like Grandma now.” She pulled her gym bag out the locker.
“How’s the old lady doing?”
“Good ... Talked to her earlier today.”
“Great. How are you and your mother?”
“We fine.”
“So you lying to me now?”
“Daddy, we’ll be okay. But if you’re asking do I see her, the answer is no.”
“We gotta work on getting this family healthy.” The girl in the locker room started spraying her hair. “And I wanted to talk to you about a few things that I can’t say over the phone. That’s why I want you to come visit me. I heard some disturbing news about Theo’s mother that I didn’t know about until now. The night I was locked up.”
“Daddy ...”The smell of the hairspray drifted into Farah’s nose and she started itching and coughing. She was doing so well that she forgot she had to continue to be careful. “Daddy ... I gotta ... I gotta ...”Farah felt dizzy and suddenly was unable to stand.
“Farah! Are you okay? Talk to me, baby!” Ashur screamed into the phone.
When Farah woke up from the nightmare, she realized she was in her bed and not in the locker room. The last thing she remembered was talking to her father in the gym, and now Lesa, Mia, Coconut, and Rhonda surrounded her bed. “How you feeling?” Mia asked. She stood up and walked to the head of the bed, while Coconut and Rhonda stood at the end. “You in pain? Because you fell really hard on the floor. ”
Farah rubbed her temples. “What happened? I don’t remember nothing after the gym. How did I get here?”
“You had an outbreak,” Mia said. “Where is the medicine you said you had? I thought you were taking it.”
“I think I missed a day.” Farah looked at her friends, who seemed like they had an attitude. She never talked to them about her illness, and wanted to keep it that way. “Can I talk to Mia alone?” Coconut and Rhonda looked at each other and marched out without speaking.
“I’m glad you’re up, Farah. You scared the hell out of me in the gym,” Lesa said. “I’ll be in my room if you need me. Bye, Mia. It was nice seeing you again.”
When she walked out Farah said, “What’s wrong with Coconut and Rhonda? They didn’t even say bye.”
“The three of them was ta
lking about something. When I walked in they stopped so who knows what they said. Mia shrugged. “I went to the bathroom to hit a jay and they started talking again.” She picked up a yellow cup filled with juice. “Why ... what you do now?”
“Nothing,” she lied. “Mia, I don’t want anybody knowing about my disease. So I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t talk about it in front of them. You know how people try to use your weakness against you. Like Boo in the hallway that day.”
“Don’t try that shit. You still lying about who you are? Mia shook her head. “It ain’t like they can catch that shit and it’s not your fault you were born with it.”
“Well, people act like it is sometimes. They treat you different when you sick.” She looked as if she wanted to cry. “I spent most of my childhood in bed ... All I wanna do is have fun with my friends. And I appreciate if you don’t let them in on my business. My roommate either.”
Mia raised her hands in the air and said, “Not a problem. They’re your friends, not mine.”
“Good. Do they know anything now?”
“As far as they know you were allergic to something and had a reaction.”
Farah felt dumb for not leaving the locker room when she saw the spray can. “Is my face fucked up?” She touched her cheeks. “Do I have sores on me and stuff?”
“No. Just your arms. You broke out in hives as usual. Farah looked at her arms and was happy it wasn’t too bad. “The doctor said you had a panic attack like you always do when you think you’re about to have an outbreak. He says that’s why you passed out. He doesn’t think it was related to the illness. ”
“Which doctor?” Farah frowned.
“Dr. Martin was at the hospital when he found out you were there.”
She sighed. “Why did you tell him, Mia? Damn! You know I don’t like his ass.”
“Bitch, I was worried about you! Plus he really does want to help. You just gotta do what he says.”
“I’m not playing the fake games anymore with his white ass. The shit he gives me works for y’all but it makes me worse. Just keep him away from me.”
Mia shook her head. “Your funeral.” She stood up. “Anyway, I know it’s too early to tell, but I don’t like that roommate of yours. So you better watch your back.”
“Why you say that?”
“Something’s up with her.” She moved toward the door. “And I know you don’t like to listen to me. But remember you’ve been warned.”
Chapter 21
“But I felt better and looked better. Didn’t I?”
—Farah
Surprisingly the building door was open when Farah rushed through, headed for Grand Mike’s apartment. Just as infested as before, she hoped bugs wouldn’t fall on her body and that he’d give her what she needed even though she didn’t have a dollar to her name. She knocked heavily on Grand’s door, stepped back, and waited for it to open. When Grand Mike answered and motioned for her to come inside, Farah rushed in and stood in the middle of the floor. “I see you’re on time.” He closed and locked the door. “You got my money?”
She looked at him and thought about exchanging sexual favors for what she needed. But when her eyes roamed over his dirty nails, matted hair, and filthy apartment, she thought otherwise. “Look ... I don’t exactly have your money but—”
“What do you mean you don’t exactly have my money?” Grand asked, looking at Farah harshly. “When you called earlier I thought I made myself clear. Bring my cash and I’ll give you what you asked for.”
“I’m sorry. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t important, but I found that in order for me to be good, I have to double or triple my dosage.” He didn’t respond. “I’m out of medicine now.” She pleaded with her eyes. “But I had an outbreak and everything. Even fell out in the gym.” She paused. “I really need your help and I’ll be willing to do whatever I can to get it.”
“You’re not understanding me. I need my money prior to any services rendered. This isn’t a charity foundation.”
“I know, but—”
“Get out, Farah.” He turned to walk away.
She balled her fists up and said, “No.”
He stopped and faced her again. Then he slowly approached. “What did you just say?”
She swallowed and moved away from him. “I said I’m not going anywhere until you give me what I need.” Tears ran down her face. “All my life this shit has been eating at me, and that’s the only thing that works. It’s not like I’m not going to pay you back, Grand. When I get some money. Give me a few days.”
“You’re not hearing me. I want my cash straight up and if you don’t have it, there’s not a whole lot I can do for you. Are we clear?”
He saw she was desperate and wanted to fuck with her mind, since it was obvious she didn’t have his funds, and their relationship would end today. “You are pathetic.” He walked around her as she stood in the middle of the floor. “You have no idea that what I gave you only worked because you believed it would.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The placebo effect.” He winked. “When your cousin asked around trying to find some information about your condition, I got word back to him after looking up your ailment. I knew you would believe whatever I told you, because you didn’t want to die. Or worse”—he rubbed her cheek—“lose your looks.”
“I don’t believe you! It does work for me! I’m better!”
He laughed in her face and said, “Get the fuck out. I’m telling you the truth and you’re not even listening. If it wasn’t for Cosmo you’d be hurt right now.”
Grand was staring at her until he was no longer able to use his eyesight, due to the bullet that penetrated his face. His body dropped on the floor and blood poured out of him and dampened the dirty carpet. Lesa’s gun, which Farah borrowed earlier from her room, shook in Farah’s hand as she stuffed it in her purse. Looking down at him she said, “It does work. I wasn’t gonna hurt you if you just gave me what I needed.” She stooped down where his body lay.
She ran through his apartment looking for the cooler he was supposed to give her when he got his money. In the first two rooms she found nothing and she wondered if he had plans to rob her all along. Going into the final room, she noticed a bed, which had rope and a roll of duct tape on top of it. She knew then that he had plans to rob her if she didn’t pull the trigger and killed him herself. Now she felt totally justified. Nervous, she wiped her fingerprints off of everything she touched and bolted out the door.
“Cosmo, I need you to keep it real with me,” Farah said as she sat in her car in a dark parking lot. Night had fallen on DC, and she was glad because she needed privacy. It was a good thing he called from jail when he did, because she really needed to speak to him. “This is serious.”
“Why you gotta come at me like that? You know I always keep it real with you.”
She took a deep breath and said, “Good, because I’m not going to be able to use Grand anymore.”
“Good. You don’t need him.”
“No ... I really need you to understand what I’m trying to tell you. I’m not going to be able to use him but I still need help. Will you help?”
Silence.
“You hear me, Cosmo?”
“Yeah. I ... I hear you.”
“I need you to tell me what he gave me. That made me feel better. He charged me sixteen hundred dollars and it was worth it.”
“Sixteen hundred dollars! What the fuck! It was supposed to be fifty bucks! Just enough so you would believe it was real!” Farah was startled and Cosmo was angry that he played his cousin. “Farah ... I don’t know how to say this. You were fucked up all them years and I made you that promise, so I got somebody who said they knew what you needed.”
“What was it?” she cried. “Please.”
He sighed. “What did it taste like?”
Silence.
Farah rubbed her forehead and said, “Don’t make me say it.”
“Farah ... y
ou don’t need what he gave you. You probably never did. Grand is in the business of selling dreams and you bought one, and if you asked me, you paid a little too much. If it worked, don’t worry about nothing else.”
“It was real for me,” she cried. “But I felt better and looked better. Didn’t I?”
He sighed and said, “I’m gonna kick it to you. You remember the language you used back in the day with your sisters and Shadow?”
“Yes.”
“I know it too and you’re about to use it again. Starting now.”
Chapter 22
“I heard our pussy better than theirs, too. It ain’t our fault.”
—Farah
Farah was sitting on the edge of the sink in her bathroom talking to her mother on the phone. For some reason, she was sure it would be the last time. After all these years she could never earn her love, so she learned to hate. “What happened the other day?” Brownie asked. “They telling me you passed out at the gym. Don’t overexert yourself just to keep your body together. When you get older you gonna spread cheek to cheek anyway.”
“What I do and how I do it is my business.”
“If you passing out in public it’s everybody’s business. Anyway, I thought you didn’t have outbreaks anymore. Everybody been yelling about how pretty Farah is since she did her own thing. What’s the problem now?”
Farah sighed. “Let me worry about me. Now what do you want?”
“Whatever,” she said with an attitude. “The reason I’m calling is because your sisters might have to live with you. And your brother too, when he comes home. Your father can’t help me like he used to because he’s not getting it the same in prison anymore. The little money he has he’s trying to save for his appeal.”
“Ma, I got a roommate now. It’s not enough room for her to live here, let alone three more people. If it was it wouldn’t be a problem.”
