by Lena Manta
Their departure from the troupe would bring disaster to Lambros. Polyxeni knew it and felt very uncomfortable about it. For that reason she’d left it to Martha to tell him the news. The director exploded with anger. Lambros was famous for his temper and in the face of the ruin he knew would follow, he became terrible. If it hadn’t been for Sotiris intervening, Polyxeni was sure he would have hit Martha. The next day, the two women collected their things and left in a hurry. Stathis was waiting with his car and they all set out for Athens, where he put them into a good hotel. He himself had a large house in a suburb that Polyxeni heard them refer to as Patissia, but naturally they couldn’t stay there; it would have given people an excuse for gossip.
On that first evening, Polyxeni felt lonely for the first time. Stathis had followed Martha to her room next door, and after a while, the girl, sitting on the balcony outside her own room, began to hear the tender sounds of lovemaking. As the time passed the sounds grew more intense and upset her so that she didn’t have the courage to get up and go back inside in case they became aware of her. Step by step she listened to an act of love that was an unknown experience for her, and which, until that moment, she’d had no desire to know. But when the cries of the couple at the climax of their lovemaking reached her ears, she jumped up from her chair and ran to hide away in her bed in a very disturbed state. She had lived with her sisters while they fell in love and made their secret rendezvous, but she herself had never felt any desire for things like that. She wondered what it was that made Martha cry out like a wounded animal. She tried to imagine her in Stathis’s arms and immediately felt ashamed of her thoughts, so she wrapped herself in the soft covers and tried to sleep. She was surprised by the tears that began flowing down her cheeks and wiped them away angrily.
Polyxeni wasn’t silly enough to get mixed up in love affairs, nor would she ever become a plaything in the hands of any man. When she chose somebody it would be because he could assure her of everything she wanted. She knew her weapons and she would use them to reach her goal. She hadn’t left the village to fail or to fall in love. She could have done that there. Before she fell asleep she decided that she owed her mother, at the very least, a card, to tell her that everything was all right, without adding any other details. Yes, that’s what she owed her.
The image that her mirror reflected was Polyxeni, but at the same time it wasn’t. The beauty salon that Stathis had chosen had taken up a whole day, but it was worth all the trouble. She was dazzling. She smiled in satisfaction at her image, while Martha looked at her in approval, but there was no time to lose. Now they needed to acquire more clothes and shoes. Polyxeni had to admit that Stathis wasn’t at all cheap. Her closet at the hotel was already filled with all sorts of beautiful things.
The photos they had taken later by a professional photographer were sent to a director and a manager. Both were impressed by the young actress’s appearance, and Stathis’s carefully considered comments led to a professional offer ten days later.
Polyxeni couldn’t believe her ears when Martha told her she would be playing a small role in a film.
“Of course it’s nothing big,” Martha said as the three of them went for a drive to Faliro. “But the important thing is for you to get your foot in the door. If you succeed, then . . .”
“But I don’t know anything about films,” Polyxeni protested.
“It’s not so different from what you’ve been doing in the theater troupe,” Stathis explained patiently. “You’ll stand where the director tells you to and you’ll say the lines they give you. That’s all. Don’t be frightened, Xenia; you’ll manage it. You must manage it!” he said, looking meaningfully at Martha.
That night and the next, Polyxeni didn’t sleep at all. She read and reread the script they had given her. She only had two lines, but her mind was already racing. She imagined herself as a leading actress, giving interviews to journalists and being photographed constantly.
When she arrived at the shoot nobody paid any attention to her. They were all in a hurry and distracted, and they talked about things that she didn’t understand. After a while she was ready to cry. When she stood in front of the camera she felt awkward. The lights really bothered her and she was sweating with anxiety. But despite everything, they got the scene the director wanted in just two takes.
Polyxeni came back to the hotel, tired and disappointed, but Martha was beside her to give her encouragement.
“But what did you expect?” she said. “You’re not a leading lady yet.”
“I know, but I didn’t like it. In the theater it’s different. You’ve got people in front of you, you hear them breathing, and you feel that they’re hanging on your every word! Here you’re in front of indifferent people and machines and lights that blind you.”
“Be patient, Xenia,” Martha said soothingly. “It’s the beginning and the beginning is difficult. A day will come when they’ll all be hanging on you. They’ll pamper you and beg for your attention. Be patient!”
That same day, the producer of the film asked to see all the material that had been shot. It was something he did on a regular basis. He had put his own money into the production and wanted to be sure of the result. When the scene with Polyxeni came up, his curiosity was aroused.
“Who is she?” he asked the director with interest.
“Stathis Syrigos introduced her to me. Her name’s Xenia Olympiou. She’s good, and she says her lines.”
“Is that all you have to say! Look at the screen, my friend, and tell me you haven’t lost the ability to see a star in front of you. The girl shines. She steals the shot!”
“She’s a little cold, isn’t she? And then there’s that rural way she talks. Will she go over with the audience?”
“The audience will see a beautiful girl and nothing more. And the colder she is the more passion she’ll ignite. Come on, you’re not a newcomer to this job. In the next film, give her a bigger part and let’s see how she does.”
As the days passed, Polyxeni’s irritation grew. The hotel suffocated her, Athens annoyed her, and the hours refused to pass quickly enough. When Stathis appeared before her, a smile on his face and the script of a new film in his hands, Polyxeni couldn’t believe her eyes. Nor could she believe the size of her role.
“It’s big, Stathis,” she said, and for the first time since he’d met her, Stathis heard her voice rise.
“It seems as if the producer likes you, and from what my friend the director said, he wants to give you a chance, to see what you can do. And not only that. Right now I’m negotiating a part in a play for you.”
Polyxeni looked at him, her eyes wide. “Are you telling the truth?” she asked, hardly able to breathe.
“Naturally. It’s not anything very big, of course, but as a beginning, it’s just right.”
Polyxeni could have been satisfied with everything that followed, but she wasn’t. All her plans had begun to fall into place, but it wasn’t enough. Despite the fact that her second movie was successful, despite the fact that some critics had written about her, despite her first appearance in the theater having made an impression, Polyxeni couldn’t see herself emerging from obscurity.
“Could you stop being in such a hurry, please?” Martha shouted when Polyxeni shared her frustrations. “You’ve only just begun. Look how far you’ve come. You’re young and beautiful and you have all the time in the world in front of you.”
“It’s precisely because I’m young and beautiful—and unknown—that I need publicity. At the premiere, not a single reporter approached me!”
“But why would they approach you when there were such famous people there and everyone was frantic to get a photograph or a statement? Are you crazy?”
Polyxeni didn’t answer. A review in a newspaper she was looking at had stolen her attention: Miss Xenia Olympiou, despite her honorable intentions toward the audience, failed to persuade us that she was a young girl in love, as the role she played demanded, the reviewer wrote. Very
“starchy,” very prim, very artificial in her love scene. Perhaps Miss Olympia should seek experiences so that she could act better in roles that are otherwise consistent with her appearance . . .
Polyxeni read the review again and again and had to admit to herself that the critic was right. She was lacking in experience, particularly in the realm of love. But love was the last thing that concerned her at that moment. She was an artist, not some silly young girl who dreamed of romantic assignations and white bridal gowns. And besides, even if she had been interested in finding someone, she wouldn’t know where to look. No one in the cast of her current play seemed suitable. The men in the company were all older and married. Given how her life was structured, how could she ever be expected to find a likely candidate?
The answer came from the theater, but not from the stage. Leonidas Argyriou was a handsome young man of about twenty-five who was charmed by Polyxeni’s flawless beauty the very first night he watched her from the audience. He attended her performances nightly for a week before very shyly sending a bouquet of flowers to the dressing room that she shared with the other girls in the cast. Polyxeni was amazed. She’d never received flowers before, and she had no idea who the man was who had sent them, but she thought it was a nice custom. When flowers began to arrive on a daily basis and the other girls teased her about her admirer, Polyxeni became curious to meet him.
“If you’d looked a little around the theater you’d have seen him!” a red-haired girl who was putting on her makeup beside her remarked.
“What do you mean?” Polyxeni asked.
“You poor thing—when you come out to say your lines, look down a little. The same young man has been sitting in the first row for the last ten days, and from the moment you come out he doesn’t take his eyes off you. He’s the one who’s sending you flowers.”
“Oh, I’ve seen him too,” another girl joined in. “He’s dreamy.”
The girls moved on to talking about their own experiences with admirers, but Polyxeni didn’t listen to a word. Perhaps this man could help her gain the knowledge of love and passionate experiences that seemed so essential to her career as an actress. Stathis had brought her a new script in which she would play a young girl in love with a wealthy man; Polyxeni wanted to be prepared.
That night she came out on stage and searched the front row to see if she could recognize the person of interest. It wasn’t difficult. The dark man didn’t take his eyes off her and Polyxeni risked smiling at him. The result was immediate. Leonidas was surprised, but he smiled back at her. She almost expected him to come find her at the end of the performance, and she wasn’t disappointed. Holding a few flowers, Leonidas stood at the entrance of the theater after the show was over. As soon as he saw her he approached her.
“I decided that today I would present the flowers myself,” he whispered shyly.
“You did the right thing,” Polyxeni said, looking him in the eyes. He wasn’t ugly—on the contrary. His face was bright, his eyes large and clear, and more importantly, full of admiration. Judging by his clothes, Polyxeni surmised that he was also rich. Better still.
“So?” she said, smiling. “Are we going to stand in the street for long?”
Leonidas seemed unable to believe his luck. “Do I dare to suggest that we go to have something to eat?” he asked in an almost inaudible voice.
“The truth is I am hungry. Yes, why not?”
His car was large and expensive and Polyxeni was impressed, just as she was impressed by the expensive restaurant where he ordered them champagne. She had never drunk alcohol in her life and she enjoyed the slight dizziness it induced. She felt relaxed and her smile became less frozen. It was obvious to her that Leonidas was swimming in an ocean of happiness. He looked almost worshipfully at her and told her all about his life. He was the son of a very rich family and had studied law, but he preferred writing poetry. He had no brothers or sisters. His parents had him when they were quite old, so not surprisingly they had a great weakness for him.
Everything she heard suited her nicely. Leonidas, on the other hand, learned very little about his date for the evening. Every time he tried to ask her questions about herself, he hit a wall. It was obvious that the girl who had unexpectedly agreed to eat with him wasn’t inclined to reveal anything about her life, but that didn’t bother him. He was madly in love with her already, and it was enough for him to just be sitting with her.
When he accompanied her to her hotel, he dared to kiss her hand and to ask her out again for the next evening. Polyxeni accepted, but the truth was that Leonidas had begun to get on her nerves. He reminded her so much of Julia’s dog when they threw him a bone. Except that he didn’t pant with his tongue hanging out. If he’d had a tail he’d probably have been wagging it, Polyxeni thought.
She went up to her room, trying to put some order into her thoughts. Leonidas didn’t mean anything to her, but she was determined to go ahead with it just the same. Perhaps she would feel something along the way. In any case, he was so rich.
The next evening she took more care with her appearance and rehearsed in front of the mirror. Her look had to be one that would give him courage to go forward. She didn’t want to waste all her time on mouthwatering looks and mindless hand kissing. He was waiting for her again at the entrance of the theater and drove her in his expensive car to a magnificent club, the likes of which Polyxeni had never seen. Still, she hid her impressions under an indifferent expression. All through the meal she ate heartily while he looked adoringly at her.
“Leonidas, what you’re doing isn’t polite,” she finally said in a scolding manner. “It’s not pleasant to always feel like you’re watching me.”
“I’m sorry,” he stammered, upset. “I don’t want to displease you, but you can’t imagine how I feel. I can’t believe that I’m here, near you, and that I can talk to you and see your eyes looking at me.”
“You can do something else, though,” Polyxeni said, softening. She wanted to provoke him, not put him in his place.
“What do you want? Tell me, and it’s done this minute!”
“Can you dance with me?”
Leonidas looked at her, not believing what he’d heard. The very thought of holding her in his arms made his eyes fill with tears. He jumped up and held out his hand. When Polyxeni realized he was trembling, she almost laughed, but held herself back. He led her onto the dance floor and she thanked her lucky stars that Stathis had insisted that she learn to dance. The melody was passionate and Polyxeni felt Leonidas’s hot breath, but no emotions overwhelmed her. His hands, holding her so lightly, made no impression on her. She felt as if she were far away from her body and followed the scene like an onlooker. Fortunately he didn’t seem to notice.
When they went back to the hotel, she didn’t hurry to get out of his car, giving him the opportunity to kiss her at last, but Leonidas hesitated. The moments that followed seemed endless and Polyxeni’s irritation increased. She finally gave him her hand to say good night and in the darkness she heard his breath coming with difficulty. He rested his lips on her fingers almost worshipfully, then Polyxeni leaned in slightly toward him, but Leonidas pulled back.
“So,” Polyxeni began, trying to hide her annoyance at the failure. “Thank you for the lovely evening.”
“The pleasure was all mine,” Leonidas said in an unsteady voice. “Dare I ask you to go out with me again tomorrow?” he asked shyly.
Polyxeni moved her body a little toward him again, knowing that in this position the cleavage peeking out of her low-cut dress would be hard to ignore. She looked at him intently and finally Leonidas seemed to make a decision. Very slowly he began to approach her until his lips covered hers. At first Polyxeni was surprised by the contact, even though she had provoked it, and froze, but she forced herself to relax and abandon herself to his kiss. So long as he met no resistance, Leonidas became more daring. His arms embraced her and held her tightly against him while he moved his body closer to hers, but Polyxeni push
ed him gently away.
As if he were ashamed, Leonidas pulled back quickly and looked at her with shining eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to make you feel embarrassed.”
“I don’t feel embarrassed,” she said evenly. “But it’s late—I must be going.”
“Tomorrow?”
“I’ll be waiting for you,” she said and got out of the car.
Later, lying on the bed, Polyxeni thought about what had just happened. The kiss wasn’t unpleasant, she decided, although nothing seemed to awaken inside her. At least nothing that would make her sigh as Martha had done in Stathis’s arms. Regardless, she waited impatiently for the next evening, when she hoped that Leonidas would be more decisive and dynamic.
She wasn’t disappointed. After a delicious meal at a restaurant, Leonidas didn’t hurry to take her back to her hotel but drove to a deserted beach instead. The night was balmy and they began to walk silently along the pebbled shore. Leonidas put his arm around her shoulders and at some point he stopped walking and embraced her. This time he didn’t hesitate for a moment. His kiss was more daring, his hands pulled her toward him forcefully. Polyxeni smiled encouragingly as he released her but she froze as soon as she heard the words he spoke next.
“Xenia, I love you!” he said with passion.
She remembered the instructions of the director in the film she had made: “When he says, ‘I love you,’ lower your eyes bashfully.” So she did. “It’s very early still, Leonidas,” she murmured in a low voice.
Leonidas took her by the arms and shook her, forcing her to look at him. “It doesn’t bother me,” he said, still more urgently. “I’ve been crazy about you since the first moment I saw you. Tell me you feel something for me too!”
