by Dawn Atkins
“You’re serious.” It wasn’t a question.
She nodded. “Before you go to New York, could you take the trailer to Rusty’s and hitch it on? For the chair?” She swallowed against the sudden sadness that hit her.
“You’re leaving before I get back?”
“As soon as we’re able to, Jonah.” Tomorrow would be their last day together. The thought made her feel so faint she grabbed the counter to keep her balance. Early Thursday morning, Rosie was taking Jonah to the airport. She had chemotherapy that afternoon and would stay the weekend with Frieda, returning Sunday after she picked up Jonah from the airport.
“Why drag this out?” she said.
Hurt flew across Jonah’s face, but it turned to anger. “It’s your call. It always has been. I’ll get the trailer to Rusty.” He turned and walked out, his stride angry. He shoved open the door so hard she feared the glass would shatter. Then he was gone.
Cara felt so alone, so scared. She wanted to run after him, take it all back, tell him they’d go to New York, that she couldn’t do this by herself.
You can handle this. You have to.
She had bags to pack and arrangements to make. She took a deep breath and headed upstairs to talk to Beth Ann.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
THE NEXT AFTERNOON, Jonah flipped the café sign to Closed, ending the last day he’d ever work with Cara.
They’d been too busy to talk much. Evan had shadowed him, since he would be covering the grill while Jonah was in New York. When Cara wasn’t waiting tables, she was making lists for him, Darlene and Ernesto or calling part-time bakers.
It was stupid for her to run off like this. Beth Ann swore her friend Serena had never gotten her messages. The TV spot brought in new customers and phone orders, but there was no way her ex-husband had seen it.
But she was determined to escape. There was panic in her blue eyes, her pink smell had gone sharp with fear and her fake smile was back. Big-time.
She couldn’t wait to get away from him. That was the truth of it.
He walked toward her. She stood behind the counter, keeping her distance as she had all day. She gave him that false smile. He hated that.
He didn’t bother to fake one back.
“I think I found a baker,” she said with false cheer.
He didn’t reply.
Cara twisted the towel in her hand, looking uncertain. “Guess this is it. Last day in the café.”
“Last day,” he echoed, his throat tight. He would see her briefly in the morning before he left, but Evan would be there and Rosie. This was it. Goodbye forever.
She came around the counter. “I don’t know how to say goodbye to you,” she said, her eyes shimmering like wet varnish.
Don’t go. Stay with me. We’ll build a life together. Impossible with his stunted soul, but he couldn’t help wanting that.
“Come see me tonight,” he said. They could make love one last time, part with that memory, at least.
She shook her head. “It would hurt too much.”
“Dammit, it already hurts too much.” He pulled her into his arms, tucking her head under his chin, feeling all of her against him, memorizing her shape, her smell, the weight of her. He felt so empty.
Cara broke away. “This is for the best, Jonah. I was wrong to think I was better. The specter will always be there. I’ll spend my whole life afraid that any man I love will turn into Barrett.” She swallowed hard.
“You just need time.”
She shook her head. “I’m broken.” Then she got a fiery look in her eye. “But you’re not. You need to know that. You are a good and loving man who does all he can to help the people he loves. You haven’t let me down or Beth Ann or Rosie or Evan or—” She started to cry. “Oh, Jonah…” She threw herself into his arms.
He couldn’t stand to see her cry. Hell, he felt like crying, too—big gulping sobs, as if he were a kid experiencing his first heartbreak. He felt like he was about to lose his last chance at happiness.
Jonah pulled back and wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. “Wait for me,” he ground out. “Be here when I get back from New York.”
“I can’t....” But he could see she wanted to.
“Sure you can. We’ll have a farewell dinner. You can make a kitchen-sink salad for Rosie, hear how her chemo went.” By then maybe he’d have figured something out, found the right words, found a way to fix this. Hell, he wasn’t ready to let her go.
“That would be nice.” She held his gaze and he felt the rush of desire again, stronger than ever. How would he ever get over her?
“Do you regret us?” she said in a trembling voice. “Because I don’t. Maybe it was a cheat, but it was good for me. You were good for me.”
“You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time,” he said. And losing her would be the worst.
* * *
“BE REASSURING and calm,” Barrett said to Deborah, holding the phone over the gearshift box. “Whatever you do, don’t frighten her.” He wished he could do the talking, but Deborah would be a more familiar voice to Beth Ann. Foolish and clumsy as she was, Deborah would pave his way.
“I know how to talk to my own granddaughter.”
He just hoped to hell she wouldn’t babble like she’d done nonstop since he’d picked her up in Barstow.
After dozens of calls to highway-side restaurants, Barrett’s P.I. had hit pay dirt in an Arizona tourist town, where he’d talked to the owner of a bistro who’d mentioned a diner with a new waitress who’d been in the news for baking special dinner rolls.
To be sure it was Cara, Barrett had found the news clip on the TV station’s website. When Beth Ann appeared, with her soulful blue eyes and button nose, his heart almost stopped.
Barrett had wanted to grab them immediately, but he knew if he pounced, Cara would flee. She had histrionic personality disorder, he’d discovered, which predisposed her to paranoia and panic, so he needed a good plan.
Now he had one. First, he’d called the bowling alley bar guy interviewed in the story, pretending to be a travel reporter doing a follow-up story.
Evan Gold had been delighted to tell Barrett all he needed to know about the café, the baker and her daughter. They were going by ridiculous aliases—CJ and Bunny Peyton.
Barrett and Deborah had reached New Hope Thursday night. He’d spent Friday and Saturday putting his plan in place and observing Cara and Beth Ann as best he could from the parking lot.
The plan had come together, the timing tight, but doable. In some ways it was perfect. According to Gold, Cara and Beth Ann would be leaving town tomorrow morning.
Instead, they’d leave today with Barrett—departing before the café’s cook and owner got back, saving all those awkward questions.
A half hour ago, Cara had driven off on a wild goose chase he’d sent her on, so he had time to connect with Beth Ann. Cara was on her way to meet with a commercial bakery she thought wanted to sell her good-luck buns wholesale. His P.I. had been quite convincing on the phone.
Commercial Kitchens only leased kitchen space, however, and by the time the misunderstanding was sorted out, Barrett and Beth Ann would be happily reunited and eager for Cara’s return.
Thinking about it gave Barrett a rush of pleasure. He loved when a plan came to fruition.
Watching Cara through the café window these past two days made him remember Dolly’s, where he would drink cup after cup of coffee just
to watch her move and smile, to hear the sweet ring of her laughter.
To be proper, he’d waited until she was eighteen to ask her out. It had been torture, but worth the wait.
It would be worth the wait now. Worth every desperate, agonizing day he’d spent behind bars. The six weeks he’d been searching for them had seemed even more excruciating.
Now he faced the crucial moment—talking to Beth Ann. He’d seen her in the window of her room with that ugly black cat. She’d spent the previous day playing in a tree house with it and a little girl, but she was alone now.
He ached to feel her arms around his neck and hear her say I love you, Daddy, so, so, so much like she used to. All the years he’d missed with her, all the little moments, the gestures, the shared secrets and jokes. Fury spiked in his head. Stop. Think. Be still.
It wasn’t fury. It was hurt. For people with his condition, hurt became anger became violence, like flipped switches. The little white pills broke the circuit. They made him dizzy and foggy, but that was a small price to pay to be worthy of his family again.
“Here we go,” he said to Deborah, pushing Talk, ringing Beth Ann’s phone. If she didn’t answer, he’d have to be more aggressive. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but he’d do what he had to do.
He would not lose them again.
* * *
BETH ANN’S FACE hurt from trying not to cry. She sat on her bed holding Louis beside her empty suitcase. She was supposed to be packed when her mom got back from the bakery meeting. They were leaving in the morning.
She was too sad to pack.
It felt like they were already gone. Evan was at the grill instead of Jonah and Darlene was doing her mom’s job. Yesterday, when Rachel had to go home, it had felt like leaving Serena all over again.
They had to run again and it was all Beth Ann’s fault.
She gritted her teeth, so mad at herself for letting Amanda pull her in front of the TV camera. Plus, Jonah had told her mom about IM’ing Serena. Her mother had been so scared and disappointed in Beth Ann that Beth Ann had felt like throwing up. No way could she tell her about the phone calls after that.
The Terrible Thing was her fault and now this was, too.
Beth Ann buried her face in Louis’s fur. “I wish you could come,” she whispered. But the apartment was no-pets. Louis wouldn’t understand why she’d gone away. He would just feel lonely again and lost. That made her heart ache and her stomach burn.
She hugged him, but he squirmed away, going to the door to shake himself and wait for her.
“Want to go to the castle?” She had to get her comic books anyway.
Just as she reached for the doorknob, she heard a buzzing sound from her bed. It was the secret phone in her puzzle box.
Was Serena calling her at last? She pushed the hidden latches and picked up the phone, her heart pounding. Private name, private number. Did Serena have a new phone? She clicked Talk. “H-h-hello?”
“Beth Ann? It’s Grandma Price. Surprise!”
She was so shocked, it took her a long time to speak. “Grandma?” Her skin tingled all over and she felt like she had to pee.
“We got your number from your little friend Serena. Such a nice little girl and so polite. Are you glad to hear my voice?”
“Y-yes,” she said, but she was too dizzy to know for sure. Why would Serena tell Grandma Price about the phone? It was a pinky-swear secret.
Her grandma’s voice sounded too cheerful, like when the nurse said the shot would be just a pinch, when it was really a long, burning stab.
“You sound so grown up,” her grandma said. “I’ve missed you like crazy. My poor shoulders are in knots. You are the best shoulder rubber....”
In the background, a man grumbled.
“Okay, okay,” her grandma said crossly to the man. “I have another surprise,” she said into the phone. “Guess who wants to talk to you?”
“Serena?”
“No, silly. Your daddy.”
“What?” Her entire body turned to hot liquid. Her dad was in her grandma’s house. He wanted to talk to her. Her mom would be crazy mad. “I’m not supposed to have this phone. I have to hang up.” She felt like crying.
“Don’t do that. Your daddy wants to ask you to forgive him and for you to have a fresh start as a family.”
He wanted her to forgive him?
“You want that, don’t you?” her grandma said. “To have your family back? He’s not mad about prison. He’s just glad to be home. And your mom wants to be a family, too, I’m sure.”
“No. She’s scared of him.” She felt hot all over, caught and pulled apart. She took gulping breaths, holding back her sob.
“Well, that’s just stupid. Your mom has a rock-hard heart. I’ve been through this and through this with her. It was an accident. It takes two to tango. Now quit crying, for heaven’s sake, and—”
“It’s all right, Beth Ann.”
The man’s voice was so strong Beth Ann jumped, nearly dropping the phone. It was her dad. Her dad was on the phone. She couldn’t breathe.
“Sometimes your grandmother doesn’t choose her words well.” He sounded so close, almost inside her head. “I love you so much. And your mom.” His voice shook like he was going to cry. “I hate that you’re afraid of me.”
It was all too much, like the blackness in her brain times ten. She didn’t want it to be real.
“I can’t talk. I have to go. Bye.” She held down the end button until the phone went totally black, put it in the box, then threw it in the trash can by the door. She should never have taken it out of the trash in the first place.
Calm down. They don’t know where you are. She’d never told Serena, so they couldn’t know. She had to get away from the phone, so she picked up Louis and went out.
Downstairs, Evan saw her and yelled, “Where you headed?”
“Out to the tree house,” she said. Her mom had asked Evan to keep an eye on her until she got back. Beth Ann didn’t need a babysitter, but once her mom saw Beth Ann on TV and learned about the messages, she’d been punishing Beth Ann, treating her like a baby, worrying and always watching.
It’s your own fault. If only she’d run from that reporter, none of this would have happened. Sometimes she was so dumb she hated herself.
Beth Ann was in her castle, reading a comic with Louis on her lap when she heard the click of a shoe on the ladder. She looked over, expecting Rachel, but a man’s head popped up through the hole. Louis hissed. Beth Ann yelled.
“It’s me, Bethie. Don’t you recognize me?” It was her dad. His face was thinner and his black hair was gray, but it was him. Her whole body tingled. Was she dreaming? This couldn’t be true. Her dad had found her. Her mom would be so mad. She shouldn’t have answered the phone.
Her dad climbed into the fort. Louis ran up Beth Ann’s body and flew out the window. She wished she could go with him.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” Her dad sat cross-legged on the floor in brown pants too dressy for the castle. So was his silk shirt. Why was he here? This was wrong, all wrong.
“I’m not mad that you hung up on me. It was because your mom would be mad about the phone, right?”
She nodded slowly.
“So we won’t tell her. How’s that?” He put a finger to his lips.
“Okay.” Her heart was beating so fast it hurt.
“You got scratched.” He pointed at her arms.
Beth
Ann looked at the bloody marks. She was so upset she hadn’t even felt Louis claw her trying to get away.
“That’s the trouble with a feral cat. They’re always wild inside. They’ll turn on you like that.” He snapped his fingers, the noise sharp as a gunshot.
She jumped.
“Serena told me you made friends with it. You’re a kind person to do that. You’ve always been kind.” He peered at her so closely her cheeks got hot.
“How did you find me?” Her throat was dry and scratchy.
“Serena said you lived in a diner near the highway. We called around and found out about the lucky buns and I saw you on TV.”
“You did?” This was all her fault. She felt sick.
“We’d better keep that secret, too, huh? Let’s tell your mother that Grandma Warner was at Canyon Ranch—that’s a famous health spa near Tucson—and saw the news.”
Beth Ann nodded. He was helping her get out of trouble with her mom. That was nice of him. He seemed to know what was in her mind.
“It’s so good to see you.” He smiled the warm way she remembered. She used to jump into his arms and wrap her legs around him and he would squeeze her tight and say how much he loved her.
That good memory mixed her up so much. She was scared and worried, but also glad.
“I bet you don’t know what to think, do you? Your mom said some bad things about me, I bet. But that’s in the past. I’m a better person now. Once she sees that, she’ll take it all back, don’t worry.”
His words sounded kind and relaxed, but his body seemed tense, like how she was with Louis at first, trying to pet him without scaring him. Her dad was treating her like she was a feral cat.
“In prison, I found out I have a condition that makes me get angry. There’s a pill that fixes it, so now I’m fine.”
He was pulling her in with his eyes like he used to do. It had made her feel special and important.
“When I got out of prison, I was so excited to see you that I filled my car with flowers and presents and drove straight to Grandma Price’s house, but she told me you’d run away. You were so scared of me you ran.” He sighed and hung his head.
