I didn’t hide the surprise on my face and Rhys laughed nervously at me. “You want to be exclusive?” I asked.
“Yeah, you don’t?” he questioned, his shoulders dropping.
“No, I do. I don’t know any other way, obviously.” I looked away, suddenly embarrassed by my lack of experience. “Wait,” I looked back. “Does this mean you’re my boyfriend? Holy crap, Rhys Edwards wants to be my boyfriend. Anne’s going to flip a shit.”
It was an adolescent thought, but he’d have to get used to it. Thankfully, he doubled over in laughter and said, “Nothing would make me happier than to be your boyfriend.”
∞
We stayed at the restaurant for two hours talking about the show and his performance, including the long pause when he found me.
“I didn’t think you were coming,” he defended himself, and it pained my heart to know he expected me to let him down. I put significant pressure on myself to make sure he never felt that way again. He told me he missed me while I was gone, and that not hearing back was difficult, too, but we shared a wonderful meal in great company and it was pretty perfect. I never expected to be that happy again and I had no intention of going back. That’s why I said yes. That’s why I pushed myself out of the comfortable, lonely armor I’d built around myself, and allowed Rhys into my life.
When we left the restaurant, Rhys placed his hand on the small of my back and gently led me out. It was a small, simple gesture, but it sent warmth through my body, reminding me that now he could touch me. That now I was his to be affectionate with whenever he wanted, and that was scary, yet wonderful.
Bruce drove us to my flat, and although London was asleep, I was wide-awake with nerves constricting my throat. Despite my insistence that it wasn’t necessary, Rhys laughed and pushed to walk me all the way to my door.
In front of it he grabbed my hand. “Thank you for coming to the show, for dinner, for everything.” His voice was thick with emotion, but externally he contained himself.
“Thank you,” I said, and my muscles tensed because I wasn’t sure if I was ready for what could happen next. Did he want me to invite him in? He had to know that wasn’t happening yet, at least not in an after-date capacity. But then Rhys surprised me. Sweet Rhys and his sensitive nature.
He placed one hand behind my neck and brought me closer to him. I prayed he didn’t sense my nerves; that he couldn’t feel the sweat under my hair or the way my body was shaking. He pulled me in against him and closed his eyes as he kissed my forehead.
It was so tender, so romantic, beyond anything I’d ever felt and he hadn’t even kissed my mouth. Rhys left his lips there for a long moment of bliss, tenderly pressing them against my skin and stamping their imprint as if to say, she’s mine and I’m hers. His hand lowered from my neck down my spine, to the small of my back and he pulled me into a generous hug. I returned it, placing my arms under his and around his back.
His hand returned to my head and he started stroking my hair from my crown all the way to the ends above my butt as he whispered directly into my ear, “I really want to kiss you, very badly. I’ve wanted to for days, weeks actually. But I want you to be comfortable,” he paused, and I inhaled the sweet wine from his breath. “I don’t want to rush you or scare you away.”
It was so sexy hearing his whisper against my ear, feeling the warmth of his words caressing my skin. I had the perfect spot to smell his citrus and woodsy scent on his neck and I was so enthralled with it all, all I could do was nod. He leaned back, moving his hand to the side of my face and looked into my eyes. “Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked, close enough to my kiss my lips. I nodded again, hypnotized by every aspect of him. Rhys stepped back, and pulled my hand to his lips as a compromise of avoiding my mouth.
“I’ll call you tomorrow, darling.”
“Okay.”
A small laugh escaped his gorgeous mouth. “Goodnight, Ellie.”
“Night, Rhys.”
I watched him go down the stairs before closing the door and I already longed for him when I lost sight of him. I definitely didn’t want him to come inside, but that night was so perfect, I didn’t want it to end either.
After changing, I went into the kitchen and caught a glimpse of Aaron’s picture. I felt better, less guilty since visiting his parents and his grave. It no longer gave me the sense I’d been sneaking around betraying him. But I still wished he was around. Though I didn’t want to go backwards to our days together, finally okay with moving forward, I still missed my best friend.
I wanted to hear him say, you got this, or, be happy, or even, that dress looks great, he’ll love it, anything that would provide the comfort and encouragement to reassure me. But then I reminded myself, Aaron might have sent him, and that was all the support I needed.
I couldn’t sleep as much as I tried, but for the first time it was because I was irrevocably happy. I texted Rhys an hour later.
Me: Thank you.
He answered quickly.
Rhys: For what? Dinner? No, thank you.
I cringed over what I was about to type.
Me: Yes, for dinner. But I meant for understanding…about the kiss and taking things slow.
Rhys: Of course, Ellie. I want to do things right by you, and Aaron. It matters. Just keep in mind how badly I want our lips to meet. Don’t keep me at bay too long, but when you’re ready. I want you to feel safe and happy with me. I want to make sure you understand how much I care for you.
My insides melted and I couldn’t believe how wonderful he was.
Me: I already do, trust me. It means more than the world. Night. xo
Rhys: Night, sleep well xo
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I didn’t sleep as well as I’d hoped to. My mind was racing as I thought about what Aaron would think, and how my parents and the world would react to my dating Rhys. It had suddenly dawned on me that I was dating one of the most famous men in the world. Over the last two years I had told myself that if I were to ever date again, I’d take baby steps. I’d like some guy enough to initiate conversation, and then maybe I’d hang out with him. Simple things. But then all of a sudden I was exclusively dating Rhys Edwards. The thought made me smile like a schoolgirl, but it also scared the shit out of me. What was I doing? What was I thinking?
I’d gone from being with a high school sweetheart to a Hollywood star. Somewhere along the way I’d forgotten that he was famous, since it wasn’t a side of him I ever saw. But he was, and it made the relationship especially unique in addition to my emotional baggage. The show ran until mid-November, so that guaranteed his place in London, but then what? And what did it mean for us? He’d have to travel, promote films, and work abroad. Would I be okay with that? I wasn’t sure I was suitable for a long distance relationship.
I was getting ahead of myself so instead I tried focusing on the moments of the evening. I thought about the way he stared at my dress, or admired my hair. I thought about his gaze when I went to his home for the first time, and how different it would be now that I was his girlfriend. His girlfriend. That’s a name I never expected to be called again, but I was his, and as surreal as it was, it felt equally right.
He was already proving to be an amazing boyfriend, sensitive and attentive to my needs. I was so nervous he would kiss me that night, and while part of me craved it, my admiration for him grew when he resisted. I knew it would be wonderful whenever it happened, but it was tough not considering it as a goodbye to something I no longer had.
Rhys would give me a new emotion and memory, one I looked forward to, but simultaneously he’d be removing the imprint of Aaron’s lips on mine. They were the last and only ones on my mouth, and while living as such wasn’t realistic, it was still heartbreaking to move forward. The only thing that made it easier was thinking about what Rhys’ mouth would feel like on mine. I could only imagine he’d be romantic and sweet and with those thoughts on my mind, I eventually fell asleep.
∞
Keeping things f
rom Anne had never boded well, so I called her the following morning as I ate lunch. We video chatted and when I told her my relationship status she screamed, loudly.
She’d paused dramatically for each word, “Oh my god! That is insane! You’re boyfriend is desired by the whole world, Ellie…” and then suddenly said the next ones rapidly. “Holy shit! You went from closed for business to Hollywood!”
I smiled idiotically. “I know. This whole situation is odd…but wonderful.”
“When are you seeing him next? Tell me everything!” she demanded.
“Today, I’m not sure when. The show complicates things.”
“Wow, he wants to see you already. He’s got it bad” she winked suggestively. “I’m so happy for you. I know you’re internally convulsing, but try to relax and enjoy that gorgeous man. You deserve this.”
“Thanks, I think.”
I proceeded to tell her about James because after rushing back I hadn’t had the chance. She gave me a big lecture about how she knew it all along and I should just do what she says, because she’s always right. But then she grew angry as I told her how rude James acted, and she even threatened to go embarrass him at work. In truth, James hadn’t done anything wrong in expressing his feelings. He wasn’t at fault for caring about me. “We don’t choose who we like, Anne.”
“I know, but he didn’t need to be an ass.”
Before I could agree, my phone rang and Rhys’ face was on my screen. I showed it to her and she squealed. “Let me hear, I’ll sit quietly!”
“No way, I’ll talk to you later,” I said, ending the call. I knew she’d be pissed, but talking to him was already nerve-inducing without her listening in.
“Hello,” I whispered timidly.
“Hey, I thought I was going to miss you.”
“Sorry, I was video chatting with Anne.”
“Ah, girl talk?”
“Yes,” I laughed.
“Well, I was hoping we could get together before the show. I’ll bring lunch.”
“I’d love to see you. We can go out if you like.”
“No, it’s no trouble. I’d rather like you to myself. If we go out, we won’t have privacy, people may take pictures.”
I hadn’t even thought to worry about pictures and paparazzi. We’d seen them in the park a few times, but for the most part it wasn’t too invasive. Now this would also be a part of my life, hiding in the shadows from stalkers. I became uneasy, but pushed the thought away for the moment. We agreed to meet and he told me he’d be around by noon.
∞
Before he arrived my stomach was aching, my nerves twisting and turning to the point that I felt sick. I dressed quickly in jeans and a cute tank, trying to make an effort despite my worshiping of yoga pants. Just as I finished when he knocked and I jolted because I was so on edge. After taking a deep breath, I approached the door and looked through the peephole. Yes, I was a creeper, but there was a safety from which I could watch behind the door. It helped to prepare myself without his close watch.
He was wearing loose, worn-in jeans that sat just beneath his hipbones with a light blue shirt that was practically translucent. I could see all the muscles through the shirt that accentuated his subtly toned pectorals and clearly defined abs. It was irresistible and I became astounded at my ogling of that man. Poor thing had no idea I was objectifying him through the door, but I suspected there was a chance, because after all he had chosen the shirt. He had to own mirrors.
When I opened the door Rhys smiled widely. “Hello beautiful.” I blushed heavily and knew I was in big trouble.
“Hi,” I said, moving aside for him to enter. He put the bags on my counter and then returned towards me. Slowly he lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it, setting my skin ablaze. He got closer then, putting his arm around my waist and pulled me against him for a hug. Rhys held me tightly, but gently, and kissed my forehead so differently than the night before. There was a sense of comfort and closeness, the best kind of familiarity. He pulled back, still holding my midsection and looked at my face again. “Hi,” he repeated charmingly.
“Hi,” I smirked, my nerves colored across my face.
“It’s nice to finally hold you after all these weeks. I’ve been waiting impatiently for these moments, dying to be close like this.”
I nodded back in agreement. It was wonderful to be held. I could feel all the muscles in his back beneath my hands and in a stroke of candidness I told him, “I missed you so much while I was gone…more than I could’ve imagined. I think that’s why I got so upset.”
“Aw, I missed you too. It took significant willpower to keep from asking your secrets when you were drunk. I wanted to know how you felt, badly, but didn’t want to take advantage of the situation.” He laughed self deprecatingly. “Thank goodness you came to the show…that reminds me, were you home when I left the ticket?”
My lack of a poker face revealed the truth immediately and I felt terrible when it flashed in his eyes. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to see you. I was confused and upset.”
“It’s fine. I wish you would’ve opened the door,” he rubbed my arm. “But it doesn’t matter now.”
“You’re not mad?”
“No, I promise.”
Rhys put his hand on my cheek to reassure me and the sweet gesture left me flushed. He was fully aware of his effect on me and he was testing the boundaries to see how close I’d let him get. I loved the way his touch left me, even those tiny touches, but it was hard not to sense the guilt within.
This was a part of a new relationship without Aaron, and if I wanted things to go anywhere with Rhys, which I did, I had to get used to it. It wasn’t easy, but still exciting to feel the freshness of our relationship, that electrifying time where you get to know each other. I looked forward to developing a foundation with him. Touching his face with my hand I asked, “What did you bring for lunch?”
While I set the table, Rhys unpacked our sandwiches and soups and as he brought it over, I heard him suck in a sudden and deep breath. Seeing his expression, I instantly assumed he had noticed my knee. Self consciously, I put my hand on it to hide the disgusting scab that had formed over my skin. Rhys knelt before me and moved my hand gently, placing his fingers near as he studied it. “What’s happened here?” he asked, his gaze returning to my eyes.
“I fell at the park.” I closed my eyes for a moment. “I was running too fast., I’d been in the apartment like a lump and to avoid obsessing about you, I grew too enthusiastic.”
He shook his head solemnly, staring at my injury with guilt settling in his eyes. I lifted his chin back up with my fingers and asked, “What is it?”
“I just,” he shook his head again. “I thought I was being clever and romantic. I hate that I hurt you and now this…” he indicated to my knee with pursed lips.
“Are you serious?” I laughed weakly. “This isn’t your fault, I was just clumsy, Rhys. Would you feel better if I covered it up?”
“No,” he stood up. “It’ll heal better if you air it out. Do you have Neosporin?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Where?” he ignored my question.
“My bathroom cabinet.”
Rhys left my side and returned with the tube in his hand. I momentarily worried about all the hair he probably saw on my bathroom floor, but forgot when he knelt in front of me again. He put the medicine on his fingertip and precisely spread it over my scab slowly to avoid hurting me. It was strange that something so paternal could also be sensual. Watching him take care of me caused my attraction to grow exceptionally. He was tender and cautious, with nothing but affection in his eyes. It was sweet that he wanted to help, and I think it made him feel better, too.
He looked up, his lips tight with disappointment. “Better?”
I nodded, grabbing his jaw to hold his face. The spell he had cast on me was strong, I was dying to kiss him. I wasn’t ready, or brave enough to kiss his mouth, especially for our first one, but I wanted so bad
ly to feel his skin against my lips. To see if I could reciprocate the fire-like sensation he gave me.
I leaned forward, briefly seeing surprise in his blue eyes as I closed mine, and kissed his forehead. It was a slow, corporeal moment as my lips lingered on his skin. I could feel his pulse quickening beneath my fingers close to his neck, and I could feel his neck muscles moving as he swallowed and nervously cleared his throat . The temptation to kiss his mouth was irresistible, but I desperately wanted him to kiss me first.
I pulled away, noticing his eyes hidden beneath his short brown eyelashes and it took him a few moments to open them. Tilting his head back to look at me, he smiled subtly before it transformed into a wide, spirited grin. I laughed fretfully; worried he was mocking me and my actions. But then he lifted the tube and said, “I can apply more if it’ll get me that!”
“You’re something else you know that?” I said, laughing harder and shoving him so hard that he fell chuckling to my floor, right beside the stain that I was beginning to love. The one he had caused that mirrored the same mark he was making in my heart.
As we ate lunch we discussed the show and my favorite parts. His bashfulness surprised me when I mentioned how phenomenal he’d been. He even looked away with shyness as I explained, “I’m not just saying this because I like you; you were amazing. It’s unfair really to anyone that tries after you.”
Rhys looked over with his sandwich in his hands, suppressing a small smile. “You like me, huh?”
I nodded, smiling cheekily. “A little.” But he loved my playful answer and smiled wider, enjoying my light mood that he probably hadn’t expected.
Halfway through lunch I remembered the book I’d bought him in New York and retrieved it from my room. I handed it to him in Christmas wrapping paper. “Here, this is for you. It’s obviously not a Christmas gift. I didn’t have any other paper.”
Opening it slowly, his eyes focused on the cover as he realized what it was. He admired the gold trimmed pages and started flipping through them to come across my inscription on the front cover.
For Both Are Infinite (Hearts in London Book 1) Page 14
