Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I noticed a difference no outsider would see. Everything looked the same, but within I could feel the change pouring out. I held no regret, I wasn’t distressed, and it was because everything felt right. I had never seen Rhys so nervous, with shaking hands that he tried to steady as he held me. He was gentle and loving, and in a way it felt like losing my virginity all over again because it was such a monumental first for me. It may have added pressure on him, but I hoped that he was able to enjoy the moment the way I did. It seemed he had.
I begun washing my face and when I lifted my head to my towel I saw a naked Rhys sleepily watching through the door. He startled me and I covered myself with the towel out of habit. Rhys smirked sheepishly. “Why are you always hiding from me? I’ve seen all there is now.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Old habits die hard,” I said, hanging the towel up and revealing my naked body again. He strode over toward me and stroked my face with his fingertips before embracing me. Though he was turned on, there was nothing sexual in his hug, or in the way he pressed his lips to my forehead in a devoted kiss. Resting his cheek against mine he whispered, “Are you okay? Was everything last night all right?”
“It was,” I nodded.
Pulling back so I could see his eyes, he asked, “Are you happy…with all that happened?”
I could see concern forming in his crystal blue eyes; he was nervous that I had gone to the bathroom to hide from him. It was always surprising to see someone as confident as Rhys, become so disheveled by my thoughts.
“Rhys, I’m very happy. Everything about last night was wonderful: your win, the song you sent me, the Chinese food in our formal wear, and making love to you. I wouldn’t change a single second. Would you?”
“No, Ellie, not a single second since the day I met you.”
We showered together after that, having sex as we cleaned each other and then Rhys made me the sweetest breakfast. He had become greedy with me, touching me every opportunity, whether it was lightly as he passed me, or passionately in a groping embrace or kiss. It made me feel like he couldn’t get enough of me and I was unable to keep my hands off him as well. We spent the day lounging around, laughing and kissing, watching movies in our pajamas, and best of all making love repeatedly.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
For the two Christmases before I’d met Rhys, my life was stagnant. I celebrated holidays only out of obligation from society, my parents and Anne. They lacked the usual joy that came with festivities since I was missing my partner, but with Rhys it came back in spades. I couldn’t wait to open gifts with him, the excitement reminiscent of my childhood when I counted down the days.
He seemed equally excited and took me to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park. The date was juvenile; two adults riding carnival rides and eating junk food, but it was the exact kind of date Aaron would have taken me on. It was as though he was still around, because as Rhys integrated himself into my life, he had given me experiences that reminded me of the old Ellie while including me in his life as his Ellie.
Sometimes I’d get lost in how Rhys stared at me, as though he’d been searching for me for years, wandering through life just a little incomplete without me. And I would think back to moments when I felt loneliest, or missed my old life most; I couldn’t have imagined that one day things would not only get better, but wonderful again. It seemed time really did heal all wounds, whether we believed it or not. After everything it was just nice to believe again. My heart had earned a hole in it from Aaron’s void, but I had started filling it with happy memories instead of my last image of him, all because Rhys had bandaged it with his love and understanding.
After the night of the show we had been making love nonstop, slowly acquainting ourselves with each other’s bodies. When we got home from Winter Wonderland, I caught Rhys watching me take off my coat. I could tell what he was thinking. I could hear it in the void of his words and I wanted it too. I’d grown captivated to how he made me feel when intimate. After removing my boots, I stood up to meet him and lifted his black shirt from his waist. He started doing the same to me and we became drunk off one another’s mouths, stripping everything and having sex in my bed for the first time.
Rhys made me feel worshiped every time and I hoped it would always be that way with him. I couldn’t have felt closer, physically or emotionally, and my entire body loved him. My skin adored him as we melded together, my heartbeat attempted escaping my chest just to be closer to his, and my mouth couldn’t get enough of him. I couldn’t fathom that there’d ever been a time when I hadn’t loved him, when I almost didn’t tell him. I repeated my breathy whisper of those words between staggered breaths, over and over into his ears, his neck and mouth. Above me, he stopped moving and leaned up. “Ellie, promise me I can keep you forever,” he whispered.
I nodded as I kissed his face until he started moving again and we breathed our satisfaction into each other’s mouths. Afterward he spooned me from behind and I considered that I wanted nothing more than forever with Rhys, but feared it wasn’t always promised. As if he sensed my doubt, he gripped me tighter, silently telling me that he wasn’t going anywhere.
∞
In all the holiday chaos, Christmas Eve sneaked up on us. We hosted a small dinner, inviting Noah and a girl he’d been seeing, John and his wife, and Rhys’ best friend Charlie. I asked Rhys why I’d never met Charlie if they were such great friends, and he explained that Charlie lived in Scotland for most of the year. His parents had a vacation home near Catherine’s house and they had grown up spending their summers together, but after a few years Charlie’s mother loved it so much they moved permanently. Rhys only saw him a couple of times a year, but told me that they spoke often and that I would really like him. Something in the way he said it was odd, and when I asked about it he explained, “All the girls love Charlie.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s just say he’s suave, good looking, and a huge flirt.”
I grew anxious to meet someone important to him, curious to see his looks if Rhys thought him handsome. I’d also been uneasy because Rhys was acting odd all day, and whenever I asked about it he gave me a sad smile and brushed it off.
We made a traditional American ham with sides; Rhys had wanted to cater, though it didn’t feel right having someone work for me during the holidays. His intentions were kind too, but I enjoyed cooking because it reminded me of who I was and how far I’d come to find that again.
John and Veronica arrived first with Noah and Poppy close behind, but when Charlie arrived the mood in the room changed. He was devilishly handsome and carried himself with a cocky grin that said he knew it. After hugging Rhys tightly he sauntered up to me and said, “So this is her…the girl that has you humiliatingly infatuated.”
Rhys was smirking, and I intentionally snapped back, “As a matter of fact, yes. Nice to meet you,” I said, extending my hand assertively.
“Oh,” he looked back at Rhys. “She has bite; no wonder you like her!” He turned back around and grabbed my hand with a strong grip. “Charlie McConnell,” he said and kissed my hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Ellie. I’ve heard a lot about you and I’m very glad to meet the lady that makes my friend feel on top of the world. Don’t be fooled, I don’t bite.”
He winked flirtatiously with his last comment and I flushed, my skin betraying me. He was quite handsome, tall with dirty blond hair and green eyes. Based on first impression I guessed that Charlie was a heartbreaker. Rhys didn’t like that he was still holding my hand and knocked Charlie’s away. “All right, hands off my lady now.” They both laughed and Rhys led me to the dining table with his hand possessively against my back.
We started dinner shortly after and Rhys was still acting off, but gave a toast anyways. As we passed food around, we discussed everyone’s plans for the following day, and Charlie brought up how Rhys and I met.
“So, did he really almost botch it up by hinting through the telly?”
“He didn’t,” I scoffed. “I misunderstood.”
“Nah, don’t take the blame for his daftness. He was too timid!” Charlie took a swig of his whiskey and winked at Rhys.
I looked over at my boyfriend, smiling away my frustration and said, “Has he always picked on you this way?”
Rhys laughed, “Yes, but that’s how brothers treat each other.”
John chimed in, “It’s true, Ellie. My brothers and I used to drive each other mad.”
“Don’t even get him started. Horror stories,” Veronica mumbled under her breath.
“Besides, Ellie,” Charlie began, “I’m just stating the truth. He was terrified you would reject him and did that so you wouldn’t have the heart to say no to those puppy eyes.”
I laughed but brushed him off and started discussing favorite childhood memories and Christmas traditions within our family. Charlie continued badgering Rhys, but after a bit he told stories of their summers together and I enjoyed hearing about Rhys’ youth. It wasn’t until he began to leave that he won me over. He was the last to go, and after hugging Rhys in the kitchen, he hugged me too. I could feel Charlie whisper something to Rhys behind my head, thought I couldn’t make it out, but it was what he said to me that left me dumbfounded.
“That man will do anything for you. He’s loved before, but never like this. I don’t know you well, but after meeting tonight I can see why he’s so pleased. Take care of my brother, because all he wants is to take care of you.”
I was shocked, especially after all his nagging throughout the night, but nodded into his shoulder. I knew Rhys was watching and that he had likely heard it too. He hugged Rhys again and said, “I’m in town for two weeks, let’s try to get together again,” and we both walked him out.
On the way back in Rhys said, “I know he’s different, but he’s the best and oldest friend I’ve ever had. He would do anything for me, not because I’m Rhys Edwards, but because I’m just his friend Rhys.”
“He grew on me as the night passed,” I admitted.
“He was quite nervous to meet you; I think that may have exuded through his already unique personality.”
“Why would he be nervous?”
“I call Charlie every other week and since we’ve met he hasn’t heard anything that wasn’t Ellie related. Early on he pushed me to ask you out despite my worries you would say no. He’s been informed, just as you tell Anne things.”
I nodded as he locked the door. “I’m glad you have someone like him.”
“Me too.”
I pulled Rhys to the Christmas tree and we sat on the couch drinking tea with Christmas music on in the background. He was still awfully quiet as he watched the blinking lights and held my hand, so I finally implored my concern. “Rhys, tell me what’s going on.”
He sighed, disappointed he hadn’t masked it better. “I’m sad at how quickly time is passing.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” he looked over at me, his eyes watery with the tree lights reflecting in them. “I leave mid January, remember?”
I nodded. “I’ve tried not to think about it. How long will you be gone for?”
“Seven weeks. I come back the first week of March.” His words were heavy leaving his mouth, and he’d been looking at his shoes. I lifted his chin and kissed him softly.
“Can we talk about this after new years?” He nodded. I didn’t want to worry about it over Christmas when we couldn’t change it. “I’ve got you a Christmas Eve gift. Come, it’s upstairs.”
Once in his room I retrieved the box from the closet. He hadn’t known I was getting him a gift that night, but was glad I did when I heard his laughter bursting from his lips. Rhys’ mother used to buy him and his sisters matching Christmas pajamas every year. The ones I’d bought had the Grinch on them and he laughed when I opened my own box with a matching set. “I figured we could wear these tonight,” I said.
“These are perfect. Thank you, love.”
He kissed me, innocently and graciously for the gifts, but the kiss turned into something else as his laughter subsided and he continued massaging his lips over mine. Desire took over his hands that he placed around my neck and waist, squeezing me, again as if he thought I’d run away. I stood and lifted my dress over my head, revealing my red lingerie I had worn for exactly that moment. It had been years since I’d dressed up sexily, but I was glad to do it when I saw how he marveled at me. That was how Rhys Edwards, of all people, looked at me, like his eyes had never seen anything more beautiful.
“This is the second half of the gift, but I don’t fit in the box,” I smirked.
He pulled me over his lap and shook his head as he kissed me. “You’re amazing, you know that right?”
We continued kissing and Rhys made love to me slowly that night, savoring each kiss, touch and movement. It was an idyllic end to the evening, made better as we opted to stay nude and hold each other while reading A Christmas Carol. “We’ll wear the pj’s tomorrow,” he said, looking at them in a pile on the floor. He read to me for thirty minutes and then put his hand on my face to force me to look up at him.
“You may not fit under the tree, but you’re the best gift I wasn’t expecting. I know the circumstances that brought you to London weren’t ideal,” he winced, “but I’m so glad you made it to me, Ellie.”
He turned out the light and we shared many other things that night. I told him I loved him, that I didn’t want him to leave, and most importantly that no matter what lead me there, I was exactly where I was meant to be.
∞
I didn’t have children, but waking up with Rhys made it feel like my boyfriend was one. He woke me with sweet kisses at 10:00 a.m. before jumping on the bed and shouting, “It’s Christmas, it’s Christmas!” I looked at him as if he’d gone crazy, and he giggled, plopping beside me. “Happy Christmas, darling.”
I looked at him, unable to avoid the joy exuding from his expression and mirrored it. “Merry Christmas, Rhys.”
“Come.” He yanked me off the bed. “I can’t wait to give you your gifts!”
I’d forgotten how sweet it was to wake up with your love on Christmas. We sat on the floor by the tree with our coffee mugs.
“Don’t you want to sit on the sofa?”
“Ellie, it’s Christmas… we have to sit right by the tree.”
“Sorry,” I said, sitting and glad to see him feeling lighter. It reminded me of how giddy Aaron would become over the holidays.
“Are you okay?” Rhys asked, reading my thoughts.
“Yeah. I always miss him, but I’m really happy.”
“I know,” he said, gripping my hand in support.
“Here.” I reached for a gift. “Open this one first.”
I handed him the box and he tore the paper off quickly to reveal a pair of black Keds. He needed them desperately, having made a habit of wearing ones that were torn apart. Rhys laughed it off and knew exactly what I was hinting at, but was appreciative nonetheless. He’d gotten me some books from Daunt I had wanted for a while, and then I gave him a special gift.
“Okay, so this isn’t something I bought, and it may seem juvenile, but I hope you like it.”
“I’m sure I will,” he said, taking the small package from me.
When he opened it Rhys saw that I’d given him a CD with a handwritten booklet attached. Inside I had written the titles of the songs I’d chosen and how they related to our relationship. I included ten from all types of genres about the days when we were just friends, to themes that reflected our more intimate experiences of late.
When he read them all, touching the paper with his fingertips carefully, he looked up with emotion in his eyes. He quickly looked back down and noted the title, Ellie and Rhys vol. 1.
“Volume one. Does that mean there’ll be more?”
I smiled before he read each and every description I had written. Some of them were sweet and fun, like PDA by John Legend, but others were serious and held
more meaning, like Us Against the World by Coldplay. I knew how much Rhys valued music and figured he would enjoy a sneak peek inside my view of our relationship.
After he’d read them all he met my gaze and leaned over to kiss me. My chest warmed as I sensed his mixture of emotions through the kiss, and I knew he loved it, even before he told me.
“This is brilliant. I always wondered what you were thinking in those early days. Thank you, Ellie.”
Rhys put the gift aside, handling it with utmost care before grabbing a flat, square box and placing it in my lap. “This one is very special.”
I lifted the box and saw the way he was looking at me. This was clearly very special and loaded with emotion that caused my heart to lodge in my throat. My nerves made it difficult to tear the paper off, because I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had told him nothing expensive or crazy, and Rhys promised to respect that, but I also knew that Rhys wanted to make me feel special in every way he could. When I saw it, I gasped because it was clearly expensive, but it was also perfect.
Inside the box was a necklace with a pave heart pendant. It was small and understated, just as I prefer, but stunningly covered in tiny diamonds that added elegance. I looked up at him, shocked at the gift. He had been watching me closely with a tight-lipped smile. “Here,” he whispered, his fingers shaking as he tapped the lid of the box. “Read this before you say anything.”
I took the paper and read his handwritten note.
Ellie, I wanted to get you jewelry, but knew it needed to be exactly you. I saw this and thought it perfect; it reminded me of a poem I’ve always loved that I’ve included below. I’ve carried your heart since day one, certain I loved you even then. I hope you’ll wear this and carry my heart too, because while you’ve held it in your possession all this time, I’d love nothing more than for the world to see you wearing it.
For Both Are Infinite (Hearts in London Book 1) Page 28
