He must have seen the light on in the front room, because he walked straight in rather than going to her sitting room in the back. She saw the concern etched on his face. “How are you feeling today?”
“Better,” she replied. Nerves were causing her stomach to roll like a stormy ocean. She didn’t want to talk.
Isaac, on the other hand, seemed to expect a full report from her. “How’s the knee? Does your head still hurt? Are you sure you feel like going tonight?”
She gritted her teeth. “Yes, I’m still going.”
His hands cupped her face and studied her closely. “You look pale.”
“I’m fine. Can we please just go?”
“Are you…nervous?”
“A little.” No, she shouldn’t have said that. Isaac was going to think she was worried about being out among people. He didn’t know about the solo. Well, crowds did make her nervous, but not like this.
“We don’t have to go yet. We could…talk a little first.”
“No, thank you.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.” Annoyed by his attitude, Joy took her crutches and heaved herself to her feet. She’d already figured out there was absolutely no way to be graceful with these things, but she’d forgotten the slip of paper still lying in her lap. It fluttered to the floor and Isaac bent to pick it up.
Maybe she should stay home if this was the way things were going to go this evening.
He read the paper. “Memorizing scripture?”
Joy sighed, deciding she might as well confess. “I’ve been using verses that talk about fear or overcoming it to help me with my shyness.” There. Now he knew that she wasn’t doing it alone. Would he be disappointed?
“That’s a great idea. Is it working?”
“I think so.”
“Of course it is! I wondered how you’d changed so much lately.”
“I admit I couldn’t do it by myself.” Maybe he’d change his mind about wanting to take her to the Christmas party.
“Why would you think you had to, Joy? Everyone needs a little help now and then. And we should draw strength from the Lord.”
That was it? He didn’t think she was an idiot?
“Let’s get going then.” Isaac grabbed her coat from where she’d hung it over a nearby chair and held it out.
Now she just had to find enough courage to sing in front of about a hundred people. Her stomach twisted again.
“Yes, let’s go.”
****
The party was in full swing when they got to Grace’s. Servers were circulating through the crowd with trays of hot chocolate and Christmas cookies. There were a large number of Orchard Hill Community Church members there, including all of Isaac’s pre-marriage class. Joy knew that usually it would have taken Isaac a long time to get through the crowd because he would stop and talk to many people. Tonight he merely waved at everyone before escorting Joy to an empty table for two.
Joy wondered how there happened to be an empty table here when there were people standing along the walls, stuffed around tables and crammed into booths. Then she saw a little sign that said ‘reserved’ on the table.
Servers offered them hot chocolate and cookies. Joy refused any just now. Before Isaac could ask, she told him, “I’d rather wait until after the choir performs.” He seemed to be satisfied with that.
There was already a group performing—a trio singing to guitar accompaniment. They were good, but Joy was too distracted to pay attention.
When Grace passed by, Isaac caught her attention. “When does the choir sing?”
“In about twenty minutes. I put them into the program as early as I could so Joy doesn’t have to stay late.”
Joy appreciated everyone’s concern, but she was starting to feel like she was about five years old.
The time dragged on. Their friends from the Orchard Hill Community Church all stopped by their table to ask how she was doing. She tried to be polite, but her nervousness was growing, and it was difficult for her to make conversation. Her stomach rolled, her palms were sweaty and her shoulders were so tense they hurt.
Isaac must have noticed her growing agitation, because he reached across the table and took her hand—in public.
He hadn’t argued when Sarah told him he was acting like a lovesick puppy. He’d even kissed her in front of Sarah. Now he was here, with her, in front of half of the town of Orchard Hill and he was holding her hand. He was publicly showing he liked her and she was about to make a fool of herself on stage.
Her hands started to tremble and Isaac frowned, tightening his fingers around hers. “Are you all right?” he asked.
Before she could answer, Grace announced that the Orchard Hill Choir would be singing next. Angel and Misty stopped by their table to collect her. She hobbled over to the piano. Angel handed her the music, and she readied herself for the first song.
Joy took a deep breath, forcing herself to focus. Once the music started she would be all right, she told herself.
And she was. They had four songs to perform. By the time they were into the third, her focus had switched from herself to the music. As usual, that was all it took to make her forget her shyness.
But then, they got to the fourth song. One of the choir members came down to take her place at the piano. She had to rise and go to the stage.
It wasn’t easy to maneuver herself up there. There was only one step up to the stage, but between her crutches and her knees knocking together, it seemed like a slow and difficult journey.
An excited murmur ran through the crowd as she took her place with the choir. This was definitely unusual. Joy never sang.
Misty turned to the crowd and announced that Joy had finally agreed to come out from behind the piano and sing for them. “She’ll be performing the solo for this arrangement of ‘Silent Night.’”
Joy looked out at what seemed like thousands of faces in the audience. Her stomach rolled, and she had to clench her jaw to keep from being sick.
With horror, she realized that on crutches and wearing a knee brace, there was no way she could make it through the crowd to the bathroom on time if she were sick.
She was going to humiliate herself. She was going to humiliate Isaac. Why did she ever think she could do this? Frantically, Joy tried to remember the bible verses she’d chosen for the day, but her mind was a blank.
The music started, and she tried to focus on it. She felt her mouth moving, but wasn’t sure if she were singing or not.
Her solo was coming up much too fast. She moved forward and waited for her cue. Then suddenly it was there. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
Her chest was so tight, she couldn’t get a breath. Whatever came out of her mouth was too quiet to be heard by anyone. Joy wished the stage would just open up and swallow her. She couldn’t sing, and she couldn’t run. She was trapped up there with everyone looking at her.
And worst of all, Isaac was going to regret ever setting eyes on her.
Joy felt a warm hand slip into her cold sweaty one. Surprised she looked up to see Angel standing there. She gave Joy an encouraging smile, and then began to sing.
Joy was not alone. Taking heart from the support of her friend, she forced in a breath and added her voice to the song. Together, their voices flew through the notes like birds, swooping and gliding. It was exhilarating. Their part ended too soon. And then the whole song finished. They were done.
Applause exploded from the crowd, but Joy only cared about the opinion of one person. Her eyes searched the crowd for Isaac. Then suddenly he was there, right in front of her, a huge grin stretching across his face.
Choir members were leaving the stage, offering congratulations and patting her shoulder as they went by. Joy barely noticed. Her entire attention was focused on the man in front of her.
“Joy, that was amazing.”
“I almost blew it. If Angel hadn’t stepped in…”
“That doesn’t matter.”
&nbs
p; “Did I embarrass you?”
Isaac put his hands on her shoulders. “Joy, you could never embarrass me.”
His words warmed her, made her relax. A smile cautiously teased her lips, but their moment was interrupted by Grace.
“Hey you two,” she said, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Don’t look now, but you happen to be standing under the mistletoe.”
Joy glanced up in alarm. Isaac didn’t bother to look. He just put his arms around her and kissed her. Not a peck on the cheek, but a full contact, on the lips, toe curling kiss.
Joy looked up again, just to be sure. “But Isaac, there is no mistletoe up there.”
“Who cares?” he asked and then kissed her again, in front of God and everybody.
As soon as she stepped—or rather hopped—off of the stage, well-wishers surrounded her to congratulate her on her first performance. The next singing group was ready to start, but the audience wasn’t ready to listen.
Afraid that she would be overwhelmed by all the attention, Isaac did his best to accept all the compliments and good wishes on Joy’s behalf. When the commotion finally died down and the next group started, Isaac led Joy back to their table.
“Are you ready to go home?” he asked.
Her eyes were shining like stars. “Not yet. Now I want some cookies and hot chocolate.”
Isaac looked around, but for once, there were no servers near by. “I’ll get something for you. Just wait.”
Riley was at the counter. Isaac asked for the chocolate and cookies.
“Joy did a great job up there,” Riley said as he handed Isaac a steaming mug and a plate of cookies.
“Yes, she did, didn’t she?”
“I don’t think I’ve seen you with a date since you started here at Orchard Hill.”
“You haven’t. I gave up dating for a long time.”
“Looks like the right woman drew you back into the game.”
A lightness buoyed inside Isaac. He felt as if he might take wing, like one of Joy’s friends. The right woman. That was Joy. “Yes, I think so,” he replied.
“Now tell me one thing,” Riley asked, leaning closer to Isaac. “Who does the pastor go to for pre-marriage counseling?”
Isaac laughed, feeling the rumble of it deep within him. “That’s a good question, Riley.”
It wasn’t long after the cookies and hot chocolate were gone that Joy’s head started to nod a little.
“Hey,” said Isaac, shaking her lightly by the arm. “Let’s go home.”
Joy nodded, and they began the process of making their way toward the door. The little coffee house was packed solid with people. After wishing about forty of them a Merry Christmas they found themselves out on the sidewalk.
“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asked her.
She ducked her head. “No, you didn’t.”
“I like your hair like that.”
“Thank you.”
Isaac helped her settle into his car before stowing her crutches in back and getting himself into the driver’s seat. Joy was quiet on the way home, and figuring that she was tired, he didn’t try to draw her out.
Once he’d gotten her home and settled on the sofa in her sitting room, Isaac knew he should leave, but didn’t really want to. The party was too noisy for conversation. He wanted to spend more time with Joy, but he also didn’t want to keep her from her rest. “Do you need anything else before I go?” he asked.
“No, but…”
“But what?”
“Do you really have to go already?”
“No. I just thought you were tired.”
“I am tired, but I’m still excited from the party, I guess. I don’t think I can sleep yet.”
That was all the encouragement he needed. Isaac pulled up an ottoman for Joy’s injured leg, and then sat next to her on the sofa.
“Thank you for taking me to Grace’s tonight,” Joy said.
“I’m glad I did. You’re amazing, Joy.”
“What do you mean?”
“Last month you’d never have even considered singing with the choir, never mind performing a solo.”
“It ended up being a duet.”
“That doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you’ve made some incredible changes in your life. That’s what makes you amazing. That, and your incredible musical talent, your gentleness and faithfulness…”
“Stop, Isaac. You’re going to give me a big head.”
“That could never happen to you, Joy.”
“The truth is…the truth is that I did this for you, Isaac.”
“What do you mean?”
“Go look at the second shelf on my bookcase. Read the titles.”
He got up and did what she asked. “They’re all about overcoming social anxiety.”
“I’ve been reading those books for years,” Joy explained, “and none of them ever helped. But when you said that you couldn’t go out with me because…well, you know…it was sort of the last straw for me. It made me determined to finally take action to solve my problem.
“I realize…that you might not feel the same way about me that I do about you, but…but I’m still glad I’ve done this. I know I have a long way to go to overcome my anxiety, but I’ve made a start and…and I’m happier with myself than I’ve ever been. It doesn’t matter whether you…care for me like I care about you…I’m still happy.”
“You should be happy. I know how hard this has been for you.”
“So, if all you’ve done recently is…out of guilt about saying ‘no’ to the concert…then don’t worry. My accident isn’t your fault, and you don’t have to keep being nice to me.”
She thought he was being nice to her out of guilt? Isaac shook his head, unsure of how to reply to her.
He turned away from her, toward the window, and tried to gather his thoughts. “Joy, I’m not trying to be nice to you because of the accident. It’s just that…” He paused, running his fingers through his hair in frustration as he struggled to find the right words. “I brought you into the hospital and they took you away, of course. I was just left there…alone. And I realized that if anything happened to you, I would be devastated and no one would ever understand why.
“I haven’t dated anyone—wouldn’t date you—because I thought I had to set a perfect example for my congregation. If I couldn’t have a guarantee that a woman was ‘the one’ for me, I didn’t even want to start a relationship. I was too proud to risk making mistakes and looking foolish in front of my own congregation.
“You aren’t the only one that needed to change, Joy. I had to realize that it’s better to take a chance on making a mistake than to let life pass me by.” He felt he hadn’t explained himself well, that she wouldn’t understand, but when he turned around to face her, her expression told him differently. It gave him the courage to finish. “I love you, Joy. I have for a long time, but I didn’t act because I was filled with pride. I’m putting all that aside now. I don’t care if we both stumble around and fall on our faces—literally or figuratively—in front of the congregation, as long as we’re together.”
Joy’s smile quivered, and tears filled her eyes. She hastily wiped them away with her sleeve. “Isaac, that’s the sweetest, most wonderful thing anyone’s ever said to me. And if you don’t come over here and kiss me right now…”
He didn’t give her time to finish that threat. Before she finished speaking, Isaac had her in his arms and placed a tender kiss on her lips.
****
As busy as he was on Christmas morning, Isaac had promised to pick up Joy for the service. She was cleared to drive, but her knee brace—which she hoped to be freed of soon—made it difficult.
He arrived early. She was filling Mozart’s water bottle when she heard him knock and then call out. Isaac didn’t wait for her to answer the door, but came right in. “I’m in the kitchen,” she called back to him, “but I’m heading into the back parlor. I’ll meet you there.”
Wh
en she saw him, she knew instantly that something was up. His expression was tense, and he was walking back and forth in front of the window. When she came in he took Mozart’s water bottle from her and popped it onto the canary’s cage.
“Merry Christmas,” she said tentatively. “You look very handsome today.”
Instead of a reply in kind, he abruptly asked, “Why haven’t you ever moved, Joy?”
“Why would I?”
“This house isn’t you. For one thing, it’s huge. I don’t think you even use a third of the rooms in this place.”
Orchard Hill Volume Three Page 26
