by Love, Kristy
When I saw Will, I was struck by his blue eyes, so blue that they reminded me of the Caribbean Sea. They were the bluest eyes I had ever seen, and filled with so much sadness that my heart broke. His dark brown hair was cut short but still long enough to fall over his forehead. He looked so innocent. Part of me was tempted to see if I could corrupt him, even just a little bit.
When Courtney told me to invite him over, I pulled my eyes away from Will and the spell was momentarily broken until our eyes met again. Something about him drew me in.
So I went over to his house and dragged him outside. He looked younger than seventeen, but he was so damned hot. His face was slim with a strong, stubbled jaw—he looked like he had skipped a day or two of shaving. His skin was clear except for a scar running along his eyebrow. He was only slightly shorter than Jax and he was just muscular enough to be sexy.
“I hear you’re going to be a senior this year,” I said, trying to get him to relax. He walked stiffly next to me and crossed his arms over his chest, like that could protect him somehow.
“Yeah. What grade are you in?”
“I’m going to be sophomore in college. I go to George Mason University.” He stiffened even more and held himself so tightly that I was amazed he could even walk.
“Oh, I thought you were in high school.”
“Nope. But I’ll take it as a compliment that I look young for my age.” I winked at him and the corners of his lips twitched with a smile. I showed him the way to my backyard and up on the deck where my friends were still lounging on chairs. They sat up when we approached.
“Will, this is Courtney and Melanie,” I said, motioning toward them. “Girls, this is Will, my new neighbor.”
Melanie got up and shook his hand, but Courtney stood and pulled him in for a hug, squeezing his cheeks. “Aren’t you just the cutest thing I have ever seen?” While still holding him, she turned her hazel eyes on me. “Can we keep him?”
“We can keep him,” I said. He looked at me, shocked. “That is, if it’s okay with Will.”
He shrugged, his face between Courtney’s hands. “Yeah, sure.”
Courtney squealed and pulled him into another hug. “Why didn’t they have boys this cute when we were in high school?”
“Why, so you could slut it up more than you already did?” Melanie said, lounging in her chair again. She fanned her long blonde hair over the back of the chair. She liked to lie in the sun so her hair could lighten. For some reason, she was convinced the sun did a better job than a bottle of blonde hair dye.
“Shut up, Melanie,” Courtney replied with a grin. She smoothed her short brown hair as she backed away.
“Will, tell us about you. Why haven’t we seen you around here before?” Melanie asked.
“I moved in with my aunt about five months ago.” His body sagged as sadness filled his eyes, like the weight of the grief was too much for him to shoulder. “My parents were killed in a car accident. I don’t have any other living relatives so Aunt Liv kind of stuck with me.”
“I’m sorry,” Courtney said, sympathy filling her eyes.
Melanie came over and crushed him in a hug, causing Will’s eyes to bug out of his head. She ran her hand up and down his back. “I’m so sorry, Will. We’re here for you.” She had one of the biggest and most genuine hearts ever.
Will backed up and mumbled a quiet thank you under his breath, his eyes still large. I laughed softly. He looked so out of his element that I feared he’d run home and hide in his bedroom again. “Leave Will alone, Melanie. He’s gone through enough without you rubbing yourself all over him.”
“I just feel bad. Losing someone close to you is difficult, I can’t imagine losing your entire family,” Melanie said. She ran her hand down his arm and tears glistened in her eyes.
“If you’ve been here for five months, why haven’t we seen you around before?” Courtney asked.
“Bitch!” Melanie exclaimed, her pale blue eyes wide in shock.
“It’s a valid question!”
“It was incredibly rude, Courtney. I’m sorry, Will. You’ll have to excuse her.” Melanie glared at Courtney for a few seconds before looking back at Will. Courtney rolled her eyes in response.
“I don’t know anyone from around here. With no one to hang out with, there’s no reason to really leave my room,” Will explained as though it was a completely normal thing to never leave your bedroom.
“My little brother is in your grade and he should be back from his girlfriend’s house soon. I bet he’d be glad to introduce you to some of his friends,” I offered.
Will shrugged, clearly uncomfortable. After a minute of silence, he went over and sat on the side of the pool, dangling his feet in the water.
Melanie and Courtney walked over toward me and leaned in close. “Why does he seem so uncomfortable?” Melanie asked.
“He’s shy. His parents really sheltered him,” I responded, not wanting to give up a ton of information about Will. For some reason, I felt oddly protective of him.
“We need to loosen him up,” Courtney said with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
“Court, take it easy on him,” I said, not liking the look Courtney was giving Will.
“It’s fine, Ry. I got this.”
“Court…” I was too late. She shoved Will into the water. “Court!”
“He’s fine,” Courtney said. Will resurfaced and laughed as he wiped his eyes and shook the water from his hair. “See? Fine.”
Will relaxed after that. Melanie and I sat on the side of the pool and watched Courtney and Will play around in the water, splashing and dunking each other repeatedly. I liked seeing Will have fun.
The sun sunk lower in the sky, causing the temperature to drop, so we moved away from the water and hung out on the chairs. The girls and I talked about Melanie’s summer classes as Will sat there, fiddling with his fingers. He seemed to absorb everything we were doing, as though it were a class he was taking.
Eventually, the topic changed to music and Will came alive. His eyes sparkled and he talked animatedly, gesturing and mentioning specific bands and lyrics. In our few hours together, he had always seemed reserved, an observer. Now, though, he talked more than anyone else and he was excited. The entire time he talked, I found myself smiling. The heavy burden on him lifted.
“What’s up?” Jax asked, closing the screen door behind him, causing all of us to look over at him. His brown hair stood in every direction from his hands continually running through it. He looked like he had perpetual bed head and I hated it, though the girls seemed to love it. He had blue-green eyes that always looked like he was brooding about something and that, combined with the bedhead, seemed to make him irresistible to girls.
“Jax, this is Will, Liv’s nephew. Will, this is Jax, my baby brother.”
“Cut that shit out, Ryanne.” I knew he hated it when I called him my baby brother but, of course, that made me call him that even more.
“Be nice, Jax.”
“Shut up,” he snapped at me, then directed his attention to Will. “Hey, man, what’s up?”
“Not much, what about you?” Will’s voice was monotone as he looked down at his lap.
“Not much. You’re a senior, right? Are you coming to Fairfax High?”
“Yeah.”
“Awesome. Hopefully, we’ll have some classes together. We can compare schedules when we get them.”
Will nodded stiffly, then stood. “May I use your bathroom, please?”
I raised my eyebrow at Will’s formal question. “Sure. It’s in the same place as Liv’s, so you should be able to find it easily.”
“Thanks.” He bolted inside.
“That poor boy is wound tighter than a spring,” Court said when Will was inside.
“He seems cool.” Jax shrugged.
When Will came back out, he continued talking with Jax and discovered they had a lot in common between the video games they played and the music they listened to. Before long, Jax had Will
talking and laughing again. The way they got along made me happy, especially since I knew how alone Will was.
Courtney started to annoy Jax by throwing popcorn at the back of his head, so he stood and picked her up, then threw her in the pool. Will laughed the entire time and I smiled as I heard his laughter. I really enjoyed being around him—more than I should have considering I’d just met him—and I found myself watching him all day, paying attention to what made him laugh, smile, get quiet. I wanted to know everything about him. I felt pulled to him in ways I had never experienced before.
When it was dark, Liv came over and leaned on the top of the fence. “Will, I brought dinner home. Oh, hey, ladies, and Jax.” She smiled at everyone.
“All right. Coming, Aunt Liv.” Will stood. “I’ll see you guys later. Thanks for today.”
“Anytime.”
“He’s a sweetheart,” Melanie remarked as she watched Will jog away.
“Yeah, he’s almost too sweet,” Courtney muttered.
“Stop. Don’t damn the kid before he’s even had a chance.” Jax stood and went into the house.
I watched Will carry the food bags into the house. He turned and looked back, smiling at me before disappearing inside.
I immediately felt his absence.
I kept looking at his house, wishing he would come back outside.
Will
“HOW WAS YOUR DAY, WILL?” Aunt Liv asked as we sat at the table, eating Chinese. Aunt Liv looked similar to my mom with her dark-brown hair, blue eyes, and sharp features. Sometimes it was hard to look at her due to the similarities. When that happened, I concentrated on the differences. Aunt Liv was short, really short. The top of her head came to my chest. When she hugged me, I could rest my head on the top of hers with no issue. She was also thinner, though she was softer. My mom had a really angular face and Aunt Liv’s was angular, though not as harsh. While Aunt Liv exuded kindness and compassion, my mom was tougher and harsher. My mom was strict and difficult to talk to. Aunt Liv was more like a friend than a parental figure.
“It was good. How was your day?” I asked.
“It was crazy.” She took another bite of her chicken. “I see you met Ryanne and Jax.”
“Ryanne came over and invited me to hang out with her and her friends.” I pushed my food around my plate, not wanting to tell Aunt Liv that Ryanne had caught me staring at her. Her shoulders relaxed and she smiled at me and for once, her smile reached her eyes. Until I saw the tension leave her body, I hadn’t realized how bothered she had been by me staying in the house by myself for all these months. “They were all really nice.”
“I knew you would get along with them. They’re good kids.”
I nodded, not sure exactly how to respond to that. Sure, they seemed like they were nice, but I certainly wasn’t in any position to judge whether someone was good or not, especially given my track record. I wasn’t the most stellar judge of character.
Aunt Liv talked some about her day at work while we finished dinner. I tried to listen, though my thoughts kept going next door. After we’d finished, I cleaned up the kitchen. As I loaded the dishwasher, I thought about the day. I had felt normal for the first time ever. I hadn’t been the overprotected, sheltered boy who was treated like a ticking time bomb of bad decisions. Back home, everyone treated me differently, and I was constantly mocked for the way I was raised or the clothes my mom made me wear. Here, I had hung out with people my own age and they hadn’t treated me differently. I was surprised at how easy it had been to be around them and be myself. Usually, I was a ball of nerves who said nothing or stuck my foot in my mouth, but that wouldn’t me anymore. This was my senior year of high school and I wanted to live it instead of just existing.
This was the beginning and the end for me.
I was starting public school for the first time, and able to have a real social life, but it was also my last year to be a kid. Next year, I would be at college.
I only had one year to prepare.
The day after hanging out with Ryanne and Jax, I sat in my room playing video games and blasting My Chemical Romance. I kept the music loud so I could drown out any noise that would come from next door. I didn’t want to be able to hear them outside having fun or surrounded by people who cared about them. I didn’t want to feel left out or excluded because they didn’t invite me over, even though we had only hung out the one day. That wasn’t a promise that they would immediately want to be my friend.
Aunt Liv walked by, dressed in her scrubs, and poked her head in my room. “Are you doing anything today?” Her voice was full of hope and I hated to be the one to crush it.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“You should see if Jax or Ryanne are available. I’m sure they’d like to hang out.”
“It’s okay, Aunt Liv. I don’t want to impose on them. I’m sure they have plans already.”
The hope washed from her face, replaced by pity. I turned away. I hated pity. “You won’t impose. Those kids are really, really nice.”
“I don’t want to have pity friends.”
She sighed. “Will, just try. That’s all I’m asking.”
“Okay.” I unpaused the game, hoping she’d go away. She eventually did and I sighed in relief. Loneliness was my only real companion—it was the only thing I could really count on.
My stomach growled, pulling me out of my pity party and I looked at the clock. It was after two in the afternoon, so I went downstairs to get something to eat. I dug around in the fridge, shifting through take out containers. Sometimes I missed home cooked meals, but I never said anything because I knew Aunt Liv did her best. The doorbell rang and I straightened, furrowing my brows as I padded toward the door. When I opened it, I was surprised to see Jax standing there.
“Hey, man. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out. Ryanne’s working and my dad’s out of town again. I figured if we were both going to be alone, at least we could be alone together.”
I stared at him. No one had ever hung out with me just to hang out. Any friend I had back home, I only saw on Sundays and at church events. I had one friend who I’d hung out with outside of church, but that hadn’t ended well.
Before that thought could mature into something bad, I stepped away from the door, gesturing Jax in. “I was just making lunch.”
He walked in, shutting the door behind him. “What about going out to lunch? We could maybe hit up a movie. Or this new laser tag place opened up and I’ve been wanting to check it out.”
I eyed him suspiciously. I didn’t trust anyone who wanted to be my friend, and I wondered if Jax wanted to humiliate me somehow. “Are you sure you want to hang out with me?”
“What?” Jax furrowed his brows. “Of course I’m sure. I wouldn’t have come over if I didn’t want to hang out with you.”
I studied him, looking for any sign that he was lying to me.
He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I know you’re shy or whatever. I only thought we had fun hanging out yesterday and that you could use a friend. If you’re going to the high school, I figured you’d want to have someone to hang out with.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck, I sound like a girl.”
“I don’t have good experiences with people, so I’m just cautious.”
“I get that. Trust me, I’ve been fucked over a lot too. Even by my own girlfriend.” He laughed bitterly. “I’m not trying to fuck you over. I thought you were cool and that you might want to get out of the house for a while. I didn’t mean anything, you know, malicious or whatever.”
I continued looking at Jax. He sounded like he was genuine, and we did have similar interests. I hadn’t gotten a hint of any ill intent the entire time we were together, so maybe I needed to let my defenses down a little bit and trust that Jax wasn’t the jerks from my past. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
“Great.”
He smiled as I put on shoes and followed him outside. “This is yours?” I asked as I followed him toward a Dodge Ram in
a metallic blue with an extended cab. The inside was meticulously clean and the outside was in perfect condition as well.
“Yeah.” He patted the hood lovingly. “She’s my baby.”
“It’s nice.”
“She was my dad’s. When he decided to upgrade to a BMW, he gave it to me.” He climbed inside, and when I didn’t move he motioned me forward. The truck was pretty high off the ground, so I had to climb inside. He turned the truck on and turned the radio up. I didn’t recognize the music.
“What’s this?”
“Fall Out Boy. This is one of my playlists. It has Fall Out Boy, Blink 182, Skrillex, Eminem, and a bunch of other bands.”
“I’ve never heard any of their music.”
“Have you been living under a rock?”
“No, I wasn’t allowed to listen to anything when I lived with my parents.”
“Well, your education begins now.” He changed the song and rap music filled the truck. “This is Eminem.”
I listened to it, intrigued. It was definitely different from anything that I had ever heard before, and a far departure from Christian music. I liked it, but I wasn’t sure if I should. I could almost hear my mom in my head yelling at me about the violence and the foul language. When the song changed, Jax told me what song it was. “This is Blink 182’s Adam’s Song.”
The lyrics hit my core and I couldn’t move as I listened to the words. It felt like it had been written for me. “This is an awesome song.”
“Yeah, it’s one of my favorites.” We rode in silence as I listened to the changing music, and I found I liked most of the songs.
“This is where Ryanne works,” Jax said as he pulled up outside of a little Italian restaurant, Cucina Bella. “I love to go in when she’s working and fuck with her. She gets annoyed.” He grinned.
“She won’t get mad?”
“That’s kind of the whole point, man. She’ll get over it.”
