“Oh,” she said, surprised. “Um, all right.”
“Will you be all right here alone for a few minutes?”
“Yeah. No, of course, go ahead.” She said the words like she was trying to convince me, but I wondered if she was also trying to convince herself.
A few minutes later, after wrestling with some sheets and blankets, I walked back into the kitchen only to stop in the doorway when my breath was stolen from me.
Hadley stood at my kitchen counter, back to me, stirring a spoon in the mug of hot water. The scent of the tea filled the room, but I was more captivated by the sight of Hadley in my home, doing something as simple as stirring her tea, wearing pajamas. It could have been any other night, or morning for that matter. Just the visual—Hadley, in my home, looking comfortable—it did something to me.
I’d brought women to my house before, but rarely had they made it into the kitchen. It was usually a straight shot to the bedroom and then I’d walk them to the driveway when the Uber I usually ordered showed up to drive them home. But even if one of the women who’d been here had done that same exact thing, I knew there was no way I’d have the same reaction.
It was Hadley. That was the difference.
She was different.
She must have noticed me staring at her like a creeper because she turned around suddenly, startled, but then relaxed when she saw it was only me.
“The microwave beeped and I found your tea in the cupboard. I hope you don’t mind that I helped myself.”
“Of course not.”
She made her way back to the table and sat, smiling over the edge of the mug.
“I’m sorry I woke you up earlier.” She took a sip of her tea, then set it on the table. She lifted one foot and rested it on her seat, wrapping an arm around her knee, then pushing her other hand through her hair again. “I dialed your number before I even thought about it.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you called.” What I didn’t add was how irate I would have been if I’d found out what happened any other way. The idea of her going through something like that and not calling me made my blood boil. “You can always call me. For whatever.”
She didn’t respond, but she did hold my gaze.
“Do you mind if I take this to bed?” she asked, holding up her tea.
“No, not at all. I’ve got your room all ready.”
“Thank you. For everything.”
I didn’t respond because all the words I wanted to say fell into the category of Too Much, Too Soon.
“I’ll show you to your bedroom,” I said, pushing myself off the doorjamb. She stood and followed me, and my thoughts immediately went to how in all of my fantasies of leading Hadley down the hallway of my house, I was never taking her to the guest bedroom. No, we were always on a direct path to my bedroom and there were pieces of clothing left along the way like breadcrumbs.
I stopped outside the door of the guestroom and turned back toward her.
“I put some clean towels on the dresser if you want to shower before you sleep. Or in the morning. I can take you home tomorrow, too, so don’t try sneaking out. I’ll worry.”
She looked up at me and blinked, as though my concern had taken her off guard.
“I won’t try to sneak out.”
“Good. I’d hear you anyway. The alarm is on.”
“Oh,” she said, letting out a large sigh, almost as though she were relieved to hear I’d armed the alarm.
“Hey,” I said, stepping closer and bringing up just one hand to cup her cheek. “You’re safe. No one is going to break into my house, okay?”
“I feel so stupid for being afraid.”
“It’s not stupid. It’s totally understandable. Anyone would be frightened after what happened. I know I was.” Her eyes met mine again and I couldn’t hold the words in. “When I got your call, Hadley, and heard your voice, I was so fucking scared.” My other hand came up to her face and I pulled her a little closer, silently celebrating when she let me. “I never want to hear you sound that way again.”
“Thank you for coming,” she whispered.
“Nothing could have kept me away.”
I pressed a kiss against her forehead, even though there were a thousand other places I wanted to kiss her.
“You should get some sleep. It’ll be daylight in just a few hours.”
She nodded, her head moving only slightly in my hands, but she eventually turned away from me and walked into my guest bedroom.
“Night,” she said softly.
“Good night.”
She closed the door, but it took me a moment before I could walk away. It seemed like torture to have her under my roof and sleeping in a different bed, but I wasn’t going to push her tonight. I wanted her to feel safe, not violated or pressured. She’d already called me because she needed me. The next time it would be because she wanted me, too.
Chapter Nine
Hadley
Justin’s guest bed was incredibly comfortable. In fact, it was even more comfortable than my own bed at home. But comfort mattered very little when my mind was zooming at a million miles an hour. Every sound I heard, every rustle of leaves outside, every creak of the house settling, made my heart rate spike.
And after every heartbeat raced through my veins, all I could remember was the look on Justin’s face as he ran toward the house, the fear in his eyes and panic in his expression. I also couldn’t forget the relief it was to feel his arms wrap around me.
Letting out an aggravated breath, I pushed the covers off my body and rolled to the side of the bed, trying to get comfortable.
Everything about my feelings for Justin were confusing. I was constantly at war with myself, trying to convince my heart that there would be someone else who made it feel more than it did for him. But my heart wasn’t listening. In fact, it was slowly convincing my brain to come to its side.
The thought of him just down the hall was deafening. Even in the quiet room, all I could hear was his presence, his nearness. It called to me and eventually, I admitted I couldn’t stay away any longer.
I stood slowly, still wearing the pajamas I’d borrowed from Riley’s closet, and snuck toward the door. It opened silently and I crept into the hall. My eyes found his door in the darkness and I wondered if he was asleep. I hoped he was lying awake, just as tormented as I was, sleeping under the same roof but not in the same bed. It was four fast and quiet steps until I stood in front of his door, my hand hovering just above the handle, trying to find the courage to open it. Trying to summon the boldness to go to him in a way in which my intentions couldn’t be misconstrued.
I might have found that bravery on my own, but I didn’t need to because the door opened for me and Justin appeared in the darkness.
He stood there, inches from me, his body outlined by the light coming from the window behind him, but he didn’t move. He was silent and so was I. The only sound was our breaths, both of us panting. I got the distinct feeling that he was holding back, but not by much. He needed me to take the lead, to make the first move.
So I did.
I pressed up onto my toes, let my hands fall against his bare chest, and pressed my lips against his.
That was all it took for him to become a man unleashed.
Immediately I was in his arms. He lifted me off the floor, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, and carried me into the room.
I didn’t inspect his bedroom. I didn’t get to take in my surroundings or investigate whether he was neat and tidy or messy and cluttered. No, I didn’t notice any of that simply because I was too busy kissing him. And being kissed.
Damn, the man could kiss.
His tongue swept into my mouth and I’d never been so relieved and aroused at the same time. There had been multiple times since our encounter at the gala where I’d lamented the thought that I’d never get to kiss Justin again. And then, after Vegas, I was so angry with myself that I didn’t remember the kissing hardly at all.
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But in that moment, I was very sober and very turned on.
He laid me down on the bed, but I didn’t give even an inch with my legs, so he fell with me. The instant we hit the mattress our hands went rogue. I needed to feel him, to run my fingers over every part of him, to feel the hills and valleys of him, memorize how his skin felt when pressed against mine. One of my hands ran up and over his shoulder, then down his bicep, while the other hand took the lower route and traced his abs, then slid around his waist. Every part of him was toned, warm, and hard.
My heels slid over his ass and pressed down on his thighs. In turn, his hips ground against mine and an unwilling moan slipped from me.
His mouth moved down my jaw, over my throat, and continued down my neck. All the while his hands found the hem of the T-shirt I was wearing and slid expertly underneath, grazing the sensitive skin of my belly and moving north slowly.
Yes. Yes.
I silently urged him on, wanting nothing in between us anymore, physical or otherwise.
As his hands moved up, so did my shirt, slowly revealing more and more of myself to him. The only light in the room came from the moon, and there wasn’t much at that, but I still felt exposed. Still felt more naked than maybe I ever had before. Raw and open.
He pushed the shirt over my breasts and pulled away, urging it over my head. When I was finally topless, my eyes found his in the darkness and he whispered, “Perfect.”
No man had ever had anything bad to say about my naked body. In fact, quite the opposite. Men were men, and a naked woman was a naked woman. But hearing Justin’s words, feeling the truth ring in his voice, I’d never felt more beautiful than in that moment.
His mouth descended to my breast and I took in a sharp breath. At first it was just his tongue, swirling and licking, but then his lips took hold and he sucked in the tip, causing a pang of arousal to shoot directly from my nipple to my core, and every muscle along the way contracted.
He must have felt my body tense at his mouth because he hummed his satisfaction around my breast.
I was torn between wanting to savor the moment, to relish the encounter, or listening to my body screaming for a connection. Luckily for me, I realized I wasn’t in charge of that particular encounter.
Justin’s mouth left my breast and I felt fluttering kisses move down my torso.
Yes.
His mouth stopped at the waistband of my shorts and his fingers curled into the elastic as though he were going to pull them down and off me, but he stopped.
No. No, no, no.
“Please,” I breathed. “Please, don’t stop.” My words were raspy as I begged him.
He made a frustrated noise and his fingers tightened around the fabric of my shorts, but he made no other movement.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, threading my fingers through his hair, hoping he’d tell me.
His face tipped up and I caught his gaze.
“I can’t do this again. I can’t be with you, get a taste of you, feel you under me, and then have you disappear on me again. I want this—you, us—but not for just one night.” He dropped his head until his forehead rested against my belly. “I can’t do this if you’re going to run again.”
“Hey,” I said, my voice just a whisper. I cupped his face in my hands and brought his gaze up to meet mine. “I’m not going to run. Not anymore.”
His eyebrows furrowed and he looked even more worried than before.
“What’s changed?”
“Nothing. Everything. I’m not sure.” It might not have been the answer he was looking for, but it was the best I could do at the time. “I’ve always wanted you. It’s just been a matter of letting myself be open to getting hurt.” I was never good at being vulnerable, but that statement was the most open I’d ever been with anyone.
He held my gaze for a moment and neither one of us moved or spoke. Finally, he crawled back up my body until his eyes were level with mine, my hands still framing his face.
“You know I’d never intentionally hurt you, right?” he asked as his worried gaze danced back and forth between mine.
“No,” I said honestly. “I don’t know that. All I can do is trust that the man you’ve shown me the last few months—the one who cares about me and wants to be with me—is the man you’ll always be. And trust myself enough to know that if it doesn’t work between us, I can be fine on my own.”
“I want this to work,” he said.
“Me too.” I couldn’t help the smile that crept over my face. It felt good to finally admit that I wanted to be with him. I’d been denying it and pushing it away for months.
“Yeah?” His smile mirrored my own.
“Mmm hmm.” I drew my bottom lip between my teeth as I nodded.
His eyes immediately dropped to my mouth and I watched as his pupils dilated at the sight. After a few moments, his lips finally dropped to mine and he kissed me hungrily, letting out a ravenous growl at the contact.
His body pressed against mine and the skin-to-skin contact made my heart rate trip. I could feel the dusting of his chest hair against my nipples and it was stupidly hot. He must have agreed because he growled again, this time as his tongue swept through my mouth wildly.
Suddenly, he broke away and moved down my body again, his mouth leaving wet, hot kisses in its wake. That time, when he got to my shorts, he pulled them down, panties too, and tossed them on the floor. In the moonlight I could see him push his boxer briefs down his thighs, stepping out of them while his gaze was trained on me.
I was hot everywhere, pulsing, waiting for some part of him to touch me. I’d never needed to be touched more than I did just then.
His fingers started at my ankles, slowly gliding up the back of my calves, then with a startled yelp from me, he hooked his hands behind my knees and pulled me down the bed until my ass was at the edge.
He sank down before me and pressed against the inside of my thighs, splaying me open wide. I held my breath, waiting for I didn’t know what, but all the air left my lungs as his mouth descended upon me.
He was gentle at first, just a tentative swipe of his tongue, but after a few seconds he grew more intentional, more eager. Soon his hands were grasped around my thighs and his lips were kissing me, sucking me, and licking me.
My fingers found his hair and I threaded them through, holding on to him, praying his mouth continued its blissful torture for just a few more moments, because that was all it would take.
His tongue pushed inside me as he moved his nose around my clit and my entire world lit up. Simply exploded.
There was never a moment where a woman was more vulnerable than when a man’s face was between her legs, but with Justin I felt anything but exposed. I was cherished and worshiped. Loved even. Needed.
“Yesyesyes,” I chanted, both hands in his hair, eyes trained on him, watching as he devoured me.
His gaze darted up and caught mine and I couldn’t have even imagined what I must have looked like to him, but he must have appreciated the view. His hands pulled me closer and his tongue pushed in farther.
Without a warning, I came. The orgasm poured through me like melted chocolate, coating me everywhere and taking its time, slowly spreading over me from head to toe and back again. It was decadent and I wanted seconds and thirds.
His mouth moved away from me, but I couldn’t vocalize my displeasure, still reeling from the wave of heat.
He kissed his way back up my body, wrapping a strong arm around my waist and lifting me back to the middle of the bed as if I weighed nothing at all.
When his lips met mine again, it seemed as though a tether inside of me had been snapped. My legs wound around him, my arms caging in around his shoulders, and my center lifted, begging for contact.
He let the weight of his pelvis rest against mine, his long, thick erection pressing right against my folds, making me whine and grind against him. His mouth ravaged mine, kissing me like he’d been waiting to do it right his whole life, as though kiss
ing me were his purpose.
“I need to be inside you,” he murmured against my lips.
I nodded and gasped, so fucking ready to be full and connected. “Yes,” I managed to rasp out.
He lifted away and for a moment I was confused, but when he reached for his bedside table I let out a sigh of relief.
If I were being honest, he could have pushed inside of me bare and I wouldn’t have cared one tiny bit. I should care, I should be careful, but there was also something sad about that tiny barrier between us. I knew it was necessary, but I didn’t have to like it. I was also grateful one of us was prepared and thinking straight. Clearly, the orgasm he’d just given me had shaken some brain cells loose.
He tore the condom package open and I watched as best as I could with the moonlight filtering the room as he rolled it down his cock. He looked impressively hard and for the first time in the history of sex, I wanted to have him in my mouth.
He finished putting the condom on and covered me with his body once more.
“Last chance to back out,” he said, looking me right in the eye. “You let me in right now, and you’re mine.”
He was making demands, but he was also asking permission. It was domineering and sexy, and sort of silly because I was already his anyway.
I reached between us and wrapped my hand around him, lining him up with my opening, not even trying to hold back the audible gasp I let out at the feeling of his tip against my folds. I was overwhelmed and hyper-sensitive. One touch felt like a thousand. With my other hand I grabbed his ass, pulling him into me. It didn’t take much encouraging before he took over, sinking into me slowly, his gaze never leaving mine.
His mouth parted as he filled me, eyes falling closed for just a second before they snapped open again. He stilled when he was fully seated and I arched up toward him, begging him for movement, for friction.
“You can’t hide from me anymore,” he rasped as he pulled out slowly. “I let you have your space before, but now it’s different. I don’t care where we go from here, but we’re going together.”
He didn’t give me a chance to respond before his mouth crashed down on mine. His tongue parted my lips and thrust in time with his hips, fucking every part of me.
Had Enough Page 9
