by P. J. Post
Jem
I’m not gonna cry.
Only little girls cry.
So I’m not gonna cry.
Even if it hurts.
They’re all over my skin like ants, and inside too. I can feel them. I feel them on my shoulder, where they bit me. Momma called it knitting.
Oh, Momma…why?
My head is like when I stub my toes, and like when the guy at the school got me.
Both.
In my head.
It hurts so much.
But I’m not gonna cry.
I have to be brave, for Lane and for Sam…and for Em, and for Casey and for Hawk. I don’t want them to worry.
Sam puts her arm around me and gets on the ground. It’s rocking.
I’ve never been on a boat before.
Sam is shaking, screaming for Lane to run.
The boat wiggles, and then the lights go out.
I can’t see Lane anymore; I can’t see Casey or Holly.
The new guy, Cam…jumps down with us.
Sam puts her arm around Em too, holding us tight.
I see a flashlight up on the bridge, and I hear Lane scream, “Sam…Sam, go south, stay close to the river. I’ll find a way, I will find you!”
“Lane!” Sam screams. “No…Lane!”
But she never lets go of us.
The flashlight goes out up on the bridge, and it’s all dark again.
We watch Lane float away. And Holly and Casey. Freemont is going with them.
We’re way out on the water now. It’s quiet.
We’re at the very end of the boat, behind a metal fence.
“We’re going to be okay, we’ll find them or they’ll find us…we’ll be okay.” It’s Sam.
The lights come on.
She’s lying.
It’s okay, she doesn’t know she’s lying, not really.
Em looks at me. She’s sad. She knows Sam’s lying too.
“We’re going to be just fine,” she says again.
Pixie pouts, and I run my fingers through her fur.
She says the pain will be gone soon.
She says to be brave.
I bite inside my mouth. I can taste the blood. It keeps me from thinking of the other, of Momma.
I can’t see Lane or Casey now, but before, the street was full of Button Eyes, everywhere, Button Eyes.
“They got away. Lane’s a badass. He’ll take care of the girls, he’s a bad…” Sam stops.
She squeezes me. She’s crying a lot now. Her face is snotty.
She’s not a little girl.
Pixie, I can’t…please, stop.
I want to make it better. I can’t. I can’t feel Lane anymore.
I miss him so much. I want to hear him, see his smiling eyes. I don’t want to be without him.
I promised.
“I wanted to be brave,” I shout. “I tried, I tried, I’m sorry…I’m so sorry!”
I’m crying.
I’m shaking too.
“Lane!” I grab the fence and squeeze. “Lane! You promised!”
Sam is crying more too.
I can see our warehouse, something’s on fire. It’s small.
The wind is colder on the water.
I sniff.
It’s so quiet out here.
And then Freemont turns into the brightest orange flower, a giant fireball spills out over everything, a gianter boom chases us out onto the water. The warehouse is gone. The dock where we got on the boat is gone.
Fire is everywhere.
It’s not dark anymore.
Sam screams and grabs the fence with both hands. And then she screams some more.
Lane’s gone.
Casey’s gone.
So is Holly Hawk.
Freemont and all of the Button Eyes, they’re gone too. I can see some of them falling into the water near the boat. Other stuff is splashing around us too.
Em is crying. She’s holding Sam.
I am too.
Lane can’t be gone.
He just can’t.
“Lane!” I scream again.
I scream it over and over.
My throat hurts.
The fire isn’t so bright now. I can’t feel it on my face anymore.
And then I’m on the ground, my head…I feel Pixie…it hurts so bad…so bad…please, Pixie, make it stop…stop it!
My arms are bunching up, twisting…I can’t move them…please...
I’m still crying, and Sam is holding me.
She’s worried.
Afraid.
For me.
She loves me too.
I feel it.
And Em.
I feel myself jerking, my hands are slapping the ground, my feet kicking, I can’t stop it…but Sam keeps my head from hitting the ground.
I taste blood, lots in my mouth.
Please…someone…make it stop.
And then I feel thunder in the ground…
The stars spin above Sam’s terrified face…and then I see something else…a round cave, it’s wet…my feet are so cold…I hear splashing…I hear ringing in my ears, like I’m underwater…and I hear crying.
All at once…
I see silver-white pigtails….I see Casey’s face, like I’m looking down at her…she’s afraid like Sam, but she’s tough like me…she’s trying to be brave…she’s trying to grin.
I hear Holly. “That was close.”
I hear Lane. “Too close. We’ll get out of here…we’ll find them.”
“I hear you’re good at that kind of thing,” Holly says, and she smiles.
“Pretty good, pretty good.”
That’s Lane talking.
Sam holds my face and stares into my eyes. Her tears drop onto my cheeks and then the pain is gone, I’m free. I feel like I’m floating…I feel nothing.
“He’s okay…they’re okay,” I whisper.
“Did you…how, how can you know?” Sam asks.
“He’s the Ghost of Freemont.”
And I hug Sam, and she hugs me. I curl up into her lap and close my eyes.
“Jem, what’s wrong?” Sam asks. She’s loud.
“I don’t know…” Emily starts to say something, she sounds scared.
It’s Sam again; her hands are on my face, she’s gentle. “Have you seen this before? Jem, honey, wake up, wake up, don’t go, please God…Jem! Cam, get a doctor…hurry!”
The boat is rocking…my eyes…so tired…
“Jem! Please, God, don’t take her, don’t you dare take her, not now…”
I hope I don’t dream this time.
I hate the Del Ray Motor Inn.
♠♥♣♦
PALIMPSEST
FERAL
OF ONE SKEIN
COINS FOR CHARON
YOUNG PARISIANS*
CARNIVAL OF SIGHS*
COMING OF A WITCH*
120BPM
PIRATE RADIO*
* Coming soon.
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, bands, clubs, events and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
