by Kiki Swinson
“Okay, so we’ll talk more then,” I replied, then pulled off.
“You are wasting your time if you think she’s going to listen to you. She doesn’t take anyone’s advice, especially when it comes to that boyfriend of hers. That guy has got her wrapped around his finger. He can do whatever it is he wants to do and she won’t do anything about it.”
“It’s her life. All you can do is let her make her own mistakes so she can learn from them.”
Carmen sighed. “I know.”
When we exited the Huntersville neighborhood and made a left turn onto Church Street, Carmen suggested that we get a bite to eat at this local eatery called Kincaid’s. She said a lot of guys hung out there. And even though I wasn’t in the mood to catch the eyes of any of the cats in the area, I said okay.
After we pulled up to the front of the restaurant, which was located on the bottom floor of the MacArthur mall, we hopped out of the car for the valet service.
Carmen chuckled. “I like this shit here!” she commented.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, after the valet attendant handed me my ticket.
“I’m talking about this valet shit! I’ve never been with somebody and they let somebody else park their car. Everybody I hang out with drives up in the garage and parks their own shit, so they can save some money.”
I raised my eyebrows and said, “You have got to be kidding.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Well, you need to change your circle of friends.”
“Grandma Hattie tells me the same thing all the time,” she replied as we entered the mall. She led the way and I followed as she made a left turn to enter the restaurant. The hostess greeted us at the entrance, then she led us to our table. While we were taking our seats, the hostess placed two menus in front of us and said, “Your waitress will be with you shortly.” The moment she walked off, Carmen started blabbing out the mouth about how this place was the hot spot. I glanced at the menu and then I looked around the entire restaurant and wondered if she was making a joke. Don’t get me wrong, the place was nice and cozy, but it wasn’t a five-star like I was used to. But I figured I had to make the best of it.
Finally, our waitress joined us and took our order. Carmen ordered crab cakes and fried shrimp. I decided to try a bowl of she-crab soup along with a side order of fried shrimp. While we waited for our order, I got the waitress to bring us both a glass of sangria. Carmen gulped her glass down in three swallows. I looked at her ass like she was losing her damn mind. “Carmen, we’re in a restaurant, and that is not a glass of fucking Kool-Aid. You’re acting like a pure slush.” I paused as Carmen let out a disgusting belch and gestured to our waitress to bring her another glass. “Carmen, did you hear me? We are in a restaurant, not a redneck sports bar.”
“I know that,” she interjected.
“I don’t think you do, because women are not supposed to belch out loud like you just did. That type of behavior is repulsive, and whether you know it or not, you just embarrassed the hell out of me.”
Looking dumbfounded as hell, Carmen apologized as her face turned red. “Oh, my God! I am so sorry. Please forgive me, Yoshi. I never want to embarrass you. Oh, my God! Was I that bad?”
I sat back in my chair. “Yes, you were. Please don’t let that happen again.”
“Oh, I won’t. And like I said, I am sorry. I mean, me and my girlfriends do that all the time and no one ever said anything to us about it.”
“Well, like I said before, you need to get yourself a new set of friends because those type people aren’t going to get you anywhere.”
“It’s funny that you say that, because my girl Foxy is ghetto as all outdoors. She and I be fussing all the time about how trifling she is and about all the stupid-ass niggas she be fucking with. She got two kids by two different niggas and they be treating her like shit. They don’t take care of her kids and then on top of that, she’s fucking around with this cat named J.R., who just whipped her ass after she confronted him for giving her a damn STD. Now tell me that ain’t some sick shit?”
“Is she still with him?”
“Yep.”
“Well yes, that is some sick shit!”
Carmen burst into laughter, but I was serious as hell. She went on to say that she had more friends like Foxy, but I made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t interested in hearing any more of that foolishness. We started talking about the family. Her mother, Sandra, was the main topic I wanted to jump on and I made it known.
“How long has your mother been on drugs?” I asked.
Carmen sighed heavily and said, “It’s been so long, I done lost track of time. Let’s just say I remember being in junior high and she came up to my school to have a conference with my principal and after the meeting, she asked the man if she could borrow five dollars. Girl, my mouth fell wide open. I was so fucking embarrassed.”
“What did you do?”
“All I could do was hang my head down.”
“Oh, my God! What did your principal say?”
“He looked at her like she was crazy and told her he couldn’t do it. So, she sat there with this stupid-looking expression, until he told her she had to go because he had to meet with another parent.”
“Wow! That’s crazy! I know you wanted to just disappear into thin air, huh?”
“I sure did. I’m just glad he shut her ass down and sent her flying out of his office, because I was so angry with her. She never did that bullshit again.” Carmen took a sip of the second glass of wine.
After she swallowed what beverage she had in her mouth, she cleared her throat. And turned her attention to the entrance of the restaurant. I turned around, too.
“It seems like every time I see that nigga he’s got a new chick.”
“Who is that?” I asked, looking directly at this six-foot-three Black guy who had to be knocking on the door of three hundred pounds. He put me in the mind of Suge Knight, but he was darker in complexion. He wore his hair in a perfectly cut ceasar with long sideburns and a goatee. He was somewhat handsome and I must admit that he dressed the part as well. Sporting a brown leather jacket, a black Burberry polo shirt, black denim jeans, and a pair of brown ACG boots, he took the lead and followed the hostess while his date followed him. She, on the other hand, was an average-looking chick. A little over five-foot-five, she had brown skin and a ton of blond and auburn deep waved hair extensions attached to her head. She wore a short black leather jacket and a black fitted sweater dress that came down two inches above her knees, but it clung to her body like it was spandex. She also wore black spandex leggings and topped the whole ensemble off with a pair of black thigh-high boots with a three-inch heel. If you’d asked me, I’d tell you that she was a hooker because that’s how she carried herself.
While Carmen and I gawked at these two temporary lovebirds, Carmen ran down the history of this cat. She gave me an earful and she definitely had my undivided attention. “That’s the infamous Sean Barnes. He’s got everybody around the way calling him Maceo. He runs all the blocks in my neighborhood. Everybody you saw hustling out there on them corners works for him. And when I tell you that niggas don’t fuck around with him or his money, believe me.”
“How old is he?”
“About thirty-one or thirty-two.”
“So you mean to tell me that a thirty-something-year-old man put the fear of God in those young guys like that?”
“Yep, he sure did. And not only that, somebody told me that he’s got a couple of police from this city on his payroll, which is why he can’t be touched.”
“That ain’t hard to do,” I muttered underneath my breath.
“Whatcha say?”
“Let’s just say I had a lot of people on my payroll. Everyone had a position to play and a purpose to serve. If they couldn’t make me any guarantees, they weren’t getting paid. It was just that simple,” I explained, taking a sip of my wine.
Carmen kept going on and on about how powerful this guy
was and that he had an older brother who wasn’t as mean as he was. She even mapped out all the locations of his stash houses and drug spots. She emphasized that no one dared try to rob him because there would be heavy consequences due to the fact that he was a fucking mental case. I just sat and listened to the nonsense. I was not at all impressed by that wannabe. I was not fazed by his three-hundred-dollar leather jacket and the many women he’d been seen with or the fact that he had a couple of local cops on his payroll. He was a peon in my eyes; he had absolutely no clue what real money and power was, like I did. All the men I’d ever dealt with were millionaires and they knew how to carry themselves. He had a lot to learn.
“Girl, look at him. Ain’t he fine?” she continued, lust pouring from her eyes.
“He’s okay,” I replied nonchalantly.
“Come on now, Yoshi. Look at him. That nigga is fine!”
“I just looked at him,” I assured her, turning my attention back to her. “And to me he looks okay.”
“Well, I think he’s sexy and fly as hell!”
“Well, if you think he’s all that, then why don’t you try and slide him your number?”
“Been there, done that already.”
I burst into laughter. “You mean to tell me you’ve already been out with that guy?”
Carmen smiled. “Yes, I have. And I had the pleasure of fucking him, too.”
“How long ago was this?”
“About a year ago.”
“Well, damn! That was a quick courtship!”
“Girl, please! What courtship? That nigga took me out to dinner one night and then we ended up at the fucking Extended Stay out Virginia Beach off Independence Boulevard and that was the end of it.”
“So you’re saying it was basically a one-night stand?”
“Exactly! The motherfucker played me!”
“Well, if you feel like that, then why are you praising his ass like he’s God or something? You should be throwing dots at his ass right now.”
Carmen smiled. “I should, shouldn’t I?”
“Yeah, you should.”
Carmen continued to smile and gave every excuse in the world why that Maceo character was still cool with her. I listened to her until I couldn’t bear the conversation anymore and then I got up from the table. I told her I was going to the ladies room to tinkle, but truth be told, I had to get the hell away from her ass. She was wracking my brains with that bullshit. I hated hearing women make excuses for men. That shit drove me crazy! And sooner than later, I’d have to let it be known.
When I returned to our table, our food was there, so I dug into it immediately. Carmen sunk her teeth into her entrée as well. We both devoured our food in record-breaking time. Afterward, I paid our tab and tipped our waitress and then we headed for the door. On our way out, Carmen broke her neck to speak to homeboy. I was so upset with her for doing that. But what made me even madder was that he refused to speak back. Instead, he looked at her ass like she was crazy. I started to say something to him, but I held my tongue and snatched her by her left arm and told her to bring her ass on. “It was going to kill you not to speak to him, huh?”
“I just wanted him to see me,” she answered.
“But for what? He’s a loser. Can’t you see that?”
“He may be a loser to you because you’re so used to dating those rich guys from Miami, but Maceo and his brother are like the cream of the crop around here. And every chick around here would die to be in his company.”
I sighed in disgust. “I am truly sorry to hear that,” I replied, then walked out of the restaurant and headed straight to the valet service area. I figured it was pointless to continue talking to Carmen about that fake-ass baller back in the restaurant. It was clear that she wasn’t used to anything better, so why pound it in her head that she could do better? Bearing the thought that I had some silly-ass relatives began to bring on a headache, so I knew it was time to head back to my hotel room and retire for the night.
As soon as we got into the truck, Carmen asked, “Why are you so hard on men?”
“I’m not hard. I just don’t like the ones who got a lot of shit with them.”
“But you don’t know Maceo, so how can you say he’s full of shit?”
“Wait a minute, are you sticking up for that loser back there?”
“No. All I am saying is that you don’t know him to be saying that. He is really a cool person once you get to know him.”
“Look, Carmen, I hate to be the one to rain down on your parade, but I don’t have to know that guy back there to say he’s a loser. Remember, you are the one who told me that he played you into having a one-night stand with him. And then on top of that, he just saw you in public and didn’t even acknowledge you. Now you want to tell me that he’s a cool person. Are you that in denial about who this guy really is?”
“No, I’m just saying that right before we had sex, he was really nice to me. He took me out to eat and we laughed the whole entire night.”
“Yeah, you just didn’t know he was setting you up the whole time.”
“That may be true. But I did have a nice time with him. So, I wished things could’ve been a little different.”
“But they were’t. So snap out of it. There are more men out there who will appreciate and treat you right. Now get off that low self-esteem trip and get with it.”
Carmen smiled. “How come you don’t have a man?”
“Because they are draining.”
“Draining how?”
“It’s kind of complicated. But I will say that relationships take a lot of hard work and sometimes the person you are with doesn’t want to work as hard as you to keep it alive. So, I’d just rather be by myself. That way I can eliminate all the drama.”
“Have you ever been married?”
“No.”
“What’s the longest you’ve been in a relationship?”
“Umm, I think it was two years.”
“Why did y’all break up?”
“Because he was an alcoholic and he cheated on me twice.”
“Were y’all living together?”
“No.”
“Did he ever try to get back with you?”
“Several times, but when he finally saw me out with another man, he knew that there was no coming back.”
“How long ago was this?”
“About seven years ago.”
“Have you been in a relationship since then?”
“Well, sort of. See, after my two-year relationship with Carlos, I laid low and did a few dates here and there, since I really didn’t want a commitment with the long hours of being an attorney and all. But not too long ago I dated one of my old clients and I must admit that I fell in love. It didn’t last long, though. But it was fun while it lasted.”
“What, he cheated on you, too?”
“No, he got killed.”
Carmen placed her hand over her mouth. “Oh, I am so sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. Lance was a good man. And he definitely knew how to treat me.”
“Would you have married him?”
“I’m not sure. But I would have seriously considered it if he’d asked.”
“Do you still think about him?”
“Of course I do. Every day.”
“How long has it been since that happened?”
“It’s been about a month now,” I lied. I couldn’t tell her that Lance was killed last week and that I was on the run.
Carmen looked at me really weird, as if a thought popped into her head. “Wait a minute . . . Is that the real reason why you came here? You wanted to get away to get over what happened to him?”
I hesitated for a second. What she had said made sense. I didn’t want to let on why I was really there, so I latched on to what she said and ran with it. It definitely sounded better than the truth.
We talked the rest of the way back to her house. I was glad I got to spend time with Carmen, even though some of the things she said anno
yed me. Before she got out of the truck, she leaned over and gave me a great big hug. “I love you, girl!” she said, smiling.
“I love you, too, Carmen,” I replied. And after I told her that I loved her, I sat back and thought about it. Did I truly love her? Or was I saying it because she told me first? My heart was fighting with my emotions because of what I’d been through trying to love people. How could I love a cousin I hadn’t seen in more than a dozen years? Was it because she always had my back when we were children? Or was it because that was just the right thing to do?
Damaged Goods
I sped off from Grandma Hattie’s house because I was more than ready to get back to my hotel room. I was exhausted. But my plans went out the window when I heard a loud scream from behind me. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw Carmen running down the block behind my truck, flagging me down with wild arm motions. I hit the brakes, put the truck in reverse, and backed up. When Carmen ran up to the passenger side window, I rolled it down and when I did so, I realized she was pretty upset.
“Yoshi, I need you,” she said, out of breath.
My heart raced. “What’s the matter?” I asked.
“Rachael is in the house beating the shit out of my mother and I need you to help me break them up,” she panted.
I backed the truck all the way to the front of Grandma Hattie’s house. I put the truck in park and hopped out. Carmen ran ahead of me, but before she went inside the house, I yelled, “Where is Grandma Hattie?”
“She locked herself in her room,” she yelled back.
“Oh, my God! What the hell did Aunt Sandra do now to be getting her ass kicked again?” I questioned as I ran behind Carmen.
The moment I entered into the house, I heard a loud commotion upstairs. I assumed it was coming from Rachael’s bedroom, so I ran upstairs and down the hall. The closer I got to all the chaos, the more troubled I felt.
“I am so sick of you! I wish you wasn’t my fucking mother!” I heard Rachael scream. And right when I was about to step over the threshold into the bedroom, I witnessed her hammering down at her mother’s face with her bare hands. She was straddling Aunt Sandra, sitting on her stomach and punching her in her face with all the force she could muster up. Aunt Sandra was trying to block every blow Rachael threw her way. Carmen was trying to pull Rachael off her mother, but she was having a hard time doing so. Carmen yelled for me to help her. I quickly snapped out of it and ran to her side to assist her.
