“I didn’t even know if I would make it past the initial tests. I signed up for BUD/s in hopes of eventually becoming a SEAL. I didn’t want to make a big deal about it until I knew for sure, babe.”
“That’s the thing, though, Jackson,” I say, taking my cup from Londyn and making sure to not make eye contact with anyone because if I do, if I look up and see genuine remorse in Jack’s eyes then I know I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to him tonight. “Just deciding to try and enlist is a big deal. We had plans, Jack. Plans that involve both of us and you just…” I wave a hand in front of me not sure how to describe how hurt I am by his actions. “Shat on it.”
“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispers into my neck. His lips brush the sensitive skin there and I shiver. The scent of his cologne wafting up to embrace me in its comforting smell.
“Don’t,” I choke out, grab my drink, and head for the stairs to the second floor where it’s a bit quieter.
I gingerly poke my head into Jack’s room, half expecting a couple having sex but praying there’s no one. When I push open the door and see no one naked, I breathe a relieved sigh and close the door behind me, momentarily debating on whether to lock it or not.
“If this is the last time for the two of you to be together then you should be making the most of it.” My best friend’s words echo through my head, so I leave it unlocked.
I place my drink on Jack’s nightstand before taking a seat on his bed. Swinging my legs up on the bed, I lay back and stare up at the darkened ceiling, but something pokes me in the back of the head from under the pillow.
Curious, I sit up again and reach under it, my hand pats back and forth until it comes into contact with something hard. I pull it out and turn on the bedside lamp. My hand freezes midway back from under the lampshade when I get my first good look at the object that poked me.
It couldn’t be.
“I was planning on giving that to you this weekend.” Jackson’s voice startles me so much, I jump and drop the box on the floor, watching as it rolls to a stop by his feet.
“Wh-what is it?” I ask, as Jack bends down to retrieve the small box from the floor.
“I guess since you’ve seen it, there’s no point in trying to make it more romantic.”
He runs a hand through his shaggy hair. Suddenly, he looks around the room, holding a finger up to tell me to wait a second while he plugs in the white Christmas lights we strung around his room several years ago and never took down, then switches off the bedside lamp.
A soft glow is cast over Jack’s bedroom. He clears his throat, taking both my hands in his and turns me until I’m fully seated on the edge of the bed. Jack then proceeds to get down on one knee in front of me, never letting go of my left hand.
“I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am for keeping my enlistment from you. I never want you to feel like you don’t have a say in our future because you do. I meant it when I said I would always be the only one who you lay down next to at night and wake up beside in the morning. I want you on this journey with me, baby.”
Jack fingers the box open revealing a beautiful but simple square cut diamond in a white gold band.
“Annika Michelle Holt, will you marry me?”
My eyes bounce between Jack and the ring and back again. My brain unable to compute what’s happening.
“But what will people think? We’re only eighteen, Jack.”
He grins. “When has that ever stopped us?”
He has a point. We’ve practically been together since we were fourteen, but only officially since we were fifteen. Everyone in our lives has told us our relationship could never work past high school. We have an opportunity to prove them wrong. Jack is my one, my only. I can’t imagine feeling towards another what I feel towards him.
“Okay,” I whisper, still in shock.
“Is that a yes?” Jack asks, trying to hide the smile threatening to split his face.
“Yes.”
He whoops, swinging me up in his arms and twirling me around his room.
“I love you so much, Annika.”
“And I you, Jackson.”
The thought of my late husband sends a jolt through my heart. Londyn must notice the tiny flinch I try to cover up because her eyes turn worried.
“You okay, Sweetie?”
“Yeah,” I croak out, massaging the area just above my heart. “Just some heartburn is all.” I paste on a smile and hope that she doesn’t call my bullshit this time.
Just as I’m about to respond there’s a knock at the front door. Saved by the door. Londyn’s eyes light up at the sound and I wonder how sensitive my microphone is for her to have heard it.
“That’s him, isn’t it?” She bounces in her chair.
I roll my eyes. “I have no idea until I answer it.”
“Well, go answer it.” She shoos me. “And don’t end the call just yet,” she manages to get out before I hit the end button.
I raise my eyebrow and would’ve said more but there’s a second knock. Londyn motions me to go again. I reluctantly leave the connection open but pull up a different window so that he won’t see Londyn on the webcam when he comes in, and hurry to the door before he can knock a third time.
I flip the lock and pull the door open. My eyes land on a pair of tan work boots before travelling up the long expanse of denim covered legs, a t-shirt that’s tucked into a narrow waist and seems to pull across a wide chest that’ll make a football player envious, then up further to a square jaw I saw a hint of in the picture Londyn showed me on Instagram earlier. I bite my lip, my gaze travelling higher to full lips that pull into a lopsided grin and higher into a pair of whisky eyes.
“Howzit, are you Annika Carter?”
Here’s the thing about the South African accent, to anyone who hasn’t heard it before, it may sound like a weird mix of the British, New Zealand and Australian accents. People most often confuse those from South Africa with being from Australia, New Zealand or England and I admit, to those who grew up here and around the accent, it’s not the most… sexiest sound. I have to disagree with them. It might be because I haven’t lived here in several years, and no longer have the accent myself, but as soon as he opened his mouth and I heard him say that first word, I think I may have sighed dreamily a little.
“Uh, yeah. Come on in,” I say, taking a step back and opening the door wider so he can step through.
“You must be Nathaniel.”
“Please call me Nathan.” He offers a gentle smile as he steps inside and takes a quick glance around the living room.
“The built-ins are in the back bedroom.” I motion for him to walk ahead of me mostly so that Londyn can get a good look at him as he walks by my computer sitting on the dining room table. Also, because I can’t help but look to see how his ass fills out those jeans.
As Nathan and I pass by the dining room table, I shoot a warning look at my open computer. I can’t see my best friend, but I know she can see us. The last thing I need is for Nathan to hear her giggle or the puppy to bark. I inwardly cringe and wonder why I let her talk me into keeping the video connection open while he’s here.
I follow Nathan into the back bedroom where he doesn’t hesitate to begin checking out the already existing built-in wardrobe. He opens one of the doors, examines the inside and the hinges before he closes it and moves on to the next. I try not to remember the time when I was eight and found a snake curled up in the corner. A cold shiver runs over my skin at the memory of running to the kitchen telling my mom, who didn’t believe me, and then to my parents’ bedroom where my dad was on the phone. I practically had to drag him because he didn’t believe me either. But sure enough, when I opened the door to the built-in, the snake was still curled up in the corner.
“It’s not in too rough shape considering how long ago it was built. The handles and some of the hinges could use replacing, but if you want to completely gut it, I could make you something new. Something more updated?” He asks, closing the
last door on the far side and turning back to me.
“That would be great actually. I was thinking of turning this into more of an office, so maybe something smaller that doesn’t take up that whole far wall?”
Nathan nods along as I explain what I want for the room, his gaze roaming over the existing wood again as if he’s already picturing what he’ll build. We move on to the master bedroom after that, but I have a hard time giving the go-ahead to replace the built-in armoire in here since it holds so many memories. We agree that for now it will stay the way it is but Nathan will polish it up a bit and bring it back to its former glory.
“Is it possible for you to build a headboard that would match it?” I ask.
He steps up to the carved wood and runs his fingers over the intricate designs. For a moment, I wonder how those fingers would feel tracing lines over my body. I shiver and push the thought away.
“Shouldn’t be a problem.”
The last bedroom we enter is the hardest. A part of me wants to keep the door closed permanently, but I know that isn’t fair to Kody or to his memory even if he hadn’t ever seen the inside of it. I swallow hard, straighten my shoulders, and lead Nathan into the center of the room.
“As you can see there’s not much going on in here so it’s pretty much a blank slate. I would like to make it into a guest room, though.”
He doesn’t say anything as he strolls around the room. “If you hardly plan on using this space then you probably don’t want something as built-in as the ones in the other bedrooms?”
I nod my agreement.
“I can build a tall dresser or something a bit smaller if you prefer that. Maybe a couple of matching side tables?”
I beam up at him. It’s like he can see exactly what I have planned in my head. “Sounds great.”
I leave Nathan to do his thing and take measurements of the three rooms, reminding myself to ask him about building a new dining room table and maybe a bench that opens up against the wall for maximizing space.
When I sit back down in front of my laptop and pull up the window again, Londyn’s grinning at me. I roll my eyes and begin typing out a message, not sure how good Nathan’s hearing is but not wanting him to accidentally overhear our conversation either. Londyn gives me a weird look through the webcam and opens her mouth to say something but shuts it again when I send the message I was typing.
Me: Let’s switch to chat only. Don’t want him to accidentally hear anything.
I see her smirk and then the three dots appear indicating she’s typing but then stops. I watch as she shakes her head, another grin pulling up a corner of her lips.
L: I could make a dirty joke right now but I’m choosing not to. Fine, chat only it is.
My face flames as I read her message. Londyn has always had the dirtiest mind between the two of us but sometimes I think she makes apples out of oranges. I click out of the video chat just as another message comes through.
L: He’s so fine! Tell me you’re going to hit that.
Me: I just met the man! Plus, he kinda works for me.
L: *eye roll* When are you going to learn to let loose and have a little fun? This seems like the perfect opportunity to me. The two of you fool around while he’s working there then call a quits once he’s done.
Me: Absolutely not.
L: Fine. Can I have him? I bet those arms of his could do some damage!
Me: He’s not a toy, Londyn!
“Okay, I think I have everything I need. I’ll draw up some designs and come by tomorrow and see what you think? Maybe get started on some of the bigger pieces.”
Nathan’s deep voice startles me so much I jump and automatically reach out to snap the lid of the laptop shut.
“Oh, er… sounds good.”
I swallow hard then glance up, hoping my face doesn’t look as red as it feels. That in itself is a mistake because as soon as I lift my gaze, my eyes land on his arms.
I bet those arms of his could do some damage!
I’m going to kill my best friend. Not that she’s wrong. Far from it actually. But because I now have images of my legs wrapped around Nathan’s waist as he slams my back into the wall. His one hand pinning both of my wrists above my head as he trails the other up the inside of my thighs…
“Is there anything else you’d like me to take a look at?”
“Um…” I clear my throat and drop my gaze from his arms. “Yeah. I was wondering if you’d be able to build another dining table and bench to replace this one.” I wave my hand indicating the table I was currently still sitting at. “I was thinking of maybe a bench where the top opens up and doubles as a storage area.”
Nathan eyes up the set then nods, pulling out a small notebook from his back pocket. “I’ll see what I can do. The built-in shelving will be my first priority though, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Sounds good,” I say, walking him to the door.
“I’ll be back tomorrow morning,” he says and then jogs down the driveway to his car.
Chapter 4
Jack parks the car at the pier. The light from the moon casts a glow over the ocean, making it sparkle. Some people love the ocean in the morning when the sun is just rising over the horizon, some love it in the evening when the sun is setting and casting beautiful shades of pinks and purples, while some just love it when the beach isn’t packed full of people. Me… I love it just like this. When the water matches the colour of the dark sky while the moon casts its glow from above.
It’s a bit menacing, but it’s peaceful the way you can see the gentle ripples of the water in the moonlight, hear the sound of the waves rushing the shore.
I still miss Cape Town, my birth city, something fierce, but Florida makes up for it with things like this. I think it made the move a little easier knowing I didn’t have to give up everything. I still have the ocean and the comfort it provides me.
As soon as I round the front of the car, Jack takes my hand in his and begins walking down the sandy path to the shore. The sound of the crashing waves gets louder and louder as we near the water’s edge.
When I’m close, I slip out of my ballet flats and walk farther until my toes touch the water as it slowly rolls in. I sigh in contentment, my hands in the pockets of my shorts, and tip my head back to look up at the stars.
“You really do love the ocean at night,” he comments, sliding his arms around me from behind, his feet planted firmly on each side of my own. I notice he too has kicked his shoes off and slid off his socks.
“You can’t tell me this isn’t the most peaceful time to enjoy the sounds and smells of the ocean,” I say, leaning my head against his solid chest.
“You’re right,” he murmurs, his lips brushing the skin of my temple. “I can’t.”
“You really think we can make it, Jack?” I ask after the silence has stretched on for a while.
“What do you mean?”
I blow out a fast breath, turning in his arms to lay my cheek against his chest. “Everyone thinks that when we graduate we’ll both move on. I mean, you have your heart set on NYU and following your parents’ dream of wanting you to become a doctor. And I have no idea if I’m staying here or going to UCLA. It really all depends on where I get accepted.”
“We have two more years before we graduate high school, Nika,” he says with a small smile.
“I know that, but they’ll want us to apply to schools after next year which means we need to start really thinking about our futures soon.”
“My little planner,” he smirks, brushing a few loose strands of hair out of my face.
It’s true. I am a planner, especially when it comes down to big decisions like my future. I already know what I want to study in university and what I’ll be declaring as my major. Plus, what I want to eventually get my master’s degree in. Oh, and also what career I have hopes of achieving after I complete my degree. It gives me anxiety and solicits attacks to not have a plan for something so big. Something that can determine h
ow the rest of my life will turn out.
“They don’t know what they’re talking about, babe. They don’t know us. I think we can make it.” He runs his thumb along my jaw, stopping at my chin to tip my face up. “The question is, do you?”
“I do,” I reply, already knowing that Jack is it for me. There’ll never be another man who makes me feel what he does.
Jack grins, his eyes dancing in the moonlight and taking on a teasing quality. “I like the sound of that.”
I roll my eyes and turn back to the water, taking in a deep breath of the salty ocean air. This was always my anchor, but now so is Jackson. I’m afraid without one or the other I’d drown.
“Do you want to walk some more? Or are you ready to head home?” He asks, bending down to retrieve the shoes we left in the sand.
The decision I made earlier flashes in my mind and I bite my lip, wondering if tonight is the night. There’s only one way to find out.
“No,” I say, my voice pitched low, taking on a breathy quality. “I’m not ready to go home yet.”
Jack swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing just barely visible in the darkened light, and I wonder if he can see the desire in my eyes. “Up for a drive then?”
I nod and slip my palm in his when he reaches out his hand for me to take.
It’s closer to midnight by the time he drops me off at home and I’m not sorry in the least that I’m an hour late for my curfew and am grounded for the next week.
Later as I lay on my back in bed, I replay everything that happened on my date with Jackson and can’t help but smile.
No. I am not sorry at all.
* * *
The hard knocking at the front door jolts me out of my dream of Jack and my first official date when we were sixteen. It’s been two years of the same recurring dreams. Our first date, our high school graduation and the night he asked me to marry him, our wedding day, me moving to San Diego halfway through his BUD/s training, and then the day I found out he had been killed while on a mission. I never know which dream it’ll be until I close my eyes at night.
Then There Was You (Twist of Fate) Page 3
