“I’ve always thought of you as a son, Xander. When I try to picture what Kody would’ve grown up to be if he were still here, I picture you. When you started fighting in those underground rings I was a little disappointed,” he pauses, and I frown not liking where this is going. “But you seemed to thrive in your life, so I learned to be okay with it. I mean, I wasn’t your father so I couldn’t tell you what to do. But I also hoped that you knew I was always here for you.”
“How’d you know?” I made sure nobody in my family found out about the fighting. That included Annika and her parents.
“I have my ways, Son.”
That one word has the potential to rip me open.
He places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “You boys were always so protective over her. You more than Jackson.” He studies me closely then. “And I can see how much you want to protect Annika now, even from your brother.”
“No man should ever place his hands on a woman,” I grit out, balling my hands into fists.
“I agree,” he says. “And if I didn’t have to go back to the hospital, I’d be right there with you.”
I’m ready to tell him that I’m going back over to the house no matter what he thinks but then his words register, and all the fight drains out of me momentarily.
“What?”
He pats me on the back then drops his hand and steps away.
“Go do what you need to do. Call me if you need me to come get you.”
I nod then turn to head back to the hospital parking lot where I left Annika’s car.
“Xander?”
I pause, looking over my shoulder at Annika’s father.
“Leave him breathing. I may know of someone else who may want a turn when he finds out.”
I give him another clipped nod before continuing in my haste to get back to Annika’s house and my brother.
* * *
Annika
“Where’s Xander?” I ask my dad when he steps back into my hospital room without my brother-in-law.
“He had something to take care of. He’ll be back to check on you later,” he says, moving closer. But the way he avoids making direct eye contact makes me feel like he’s hiding something from me.
“What aren’t you telling me, Dad?” I ask, placing my hands behind me and trying to lift myself up. The reminder of my broken ribs comes screaming back when pain so deep it sucks the breath out of me, radiates from my side.
“Are you okay, honey?” Mom asks from my one side and I nod to try and reassure her, but I’m still having a hard time catching my breath, and the ones I am managing hurt like hell.
“He’ll be okay, Peanut,” my dad says from my other side and somehow with just those few words, I know.
For the first time in a very long time I close my eyes and pray. I pray that Xander doesn’t get killed.
Chapter 25
It turns out that prayer really does work.
Xander didn’t make it out without his fair share of cuts and bruises. In fact, he was brought into the same room as me several hours later with what I’m assuming is a knife wound, with what I’m able to piece together from various whispers when the curtain is pulled between our beds. When I try asking, Xander says that he is okay and to not worry any longer. That Jack won’t be bothering me anymore. I assume from the lack of police presence outside our hospital room or breaking news of a murder, he left him alive.
I’m released a few days before Xander when the doctor is convinced that I’m not going to develop a lung disease or something, but I’m once again relegated to the care of one of my parents since I’m going to need some help during my recovery. Since I stayed with my dad with my broken collarbone, Mom insists that I move in with her until I’ve recovered, and they’ve helped me figure out my next move with Jack. The doctor says that Xander is going to need just as much, if not more, care once he’s released. Mom already sets out a plan to move him out of his hotel room and into her house. I think this whole situation has sent her info full mother hen mode. It’s kinda cute right now, but I have no doubt that her hovering is going to get old fast. Especially because I’ve been so used to being independent since Jack and I got married.
* * *
“Really, Rebekah, I’m okay,” Xander says to Mom as she fluffs the pillow beneath his leg again and asks if she can get him anything from the kitchen; water, a cool drink, a snack.
He’s been out of the hospital for a couple of days and she’s still hovering just as bad as she was the first day we were allowed to bring him home.
The two of us have been spending our days camped out on the couch, watching movies and playing video games. My cousin, Clint, brought over his PlayStation 4 for us to use as well as a couple of games including NHL 19. Xander squealed like a little girl – as much as he could with a knife wound in his side – and has been coaxing me into playing with him every day.
My dad has also come over a couple of times to check on us. At first, things between he and my mom were so intense it made everyone in the room with them uncomfortable, but it seems like the more he comes over, the easier it’s getting between the two of them.
Just before Xander got released from the hospital, my dad sat me down and talked to me about him and Dave officially being in a relationship. He apparently had wanted to have this conversation when he came over that day and discovered my black eye but since then, other things have taken precedence over this conversation.
It’s taken me longer than I care to admit to accept that the picture I had of my dad wasn’t who he really is, but he’s even better. I’ve always been wary of anyone who doesn’t appear to have secrets. That one thing that makes them less than perfect. For the longest time, I couldn’t find any flaws in my father. He was always just my hero. The one man in my life who I looked up to. The person who could do no wrong in my eyes. Knowing that he kept this secret from my mom and me makes him seem more human now. The act of keeping the secret not the actual secret itself. I couldn’t care less if he was straight or gay, I still love him the same. If it’s at all possible I think I look up to him more now.
It’s not easy coming out anywhere in the world, but especially in countries like South Africa where acceptance isn’t at the level it should be. Sure, things may be tolerated, but tolerance isn’t acceptance. It’s not loving someone despite their differences or flaws. It’s like that friend you can’t stand to be around, but you put up with them because you have to.
“What’d you do that for?” I gently nudge Xander in his non-wounded side, careful not to jostle him too much though. He may be healing nicely and acting like he’s not in pain anymore but I’m not buying it. Plus, the bandage still wrapped around his side says he’s far from being healed.
“You were sleeping on the game,” he says just as his video game character takes a slap shot on the net.
“Fucker,” I mumble when the puck goes in and Xander hoots and hollers. Well, as much as he can.
By the way he’s acting you’d think we were playing an actual hockey game and not the PlayStation. Xander’s team takes the lead and he eventually wins the game. His grin is wide when he sets the controller down on the coffee table and leans back against the couch, still favouring his right side.
“You cheated,” I pout, setting my matching controller down beside his.
Xander chuckles. “I did not cheat. I don’t even think that’s possible with this game. I beat you fair and square.”
I stick my tongue out at him which makes him laugh harder but then he winces and curses, his hand going to his side and I immediately flinch in guilt and move farther away into my side of the couch.
“Stop that,” he grits out between harsh breaths.
“Stop what?”
“Annika,” he warns, “we agreed you’d stop feeling so damn guilty about things you can’t control.”
I slump back against the arm of the couch and lift my legs, gently placing them on his lap. “I know. I know. It’s just going to take some
more getting used to.”
Xander sighs, taking one foot in his large hands and massaging the underside. I groan, leaning back to get comfortable.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Nika?”
“What about?” I moan when his thumb presses into the heel of my foot.
“About the baby.”
I still. Trying to keep my breathing even, which has slowly gotten easier as the days go on.
“I was scared,” I finally say. Xander lets go of my foot and I sit up, folding one leg up on the couch while I turn to face him. “Jack and I were already having problems and I was afraid that if I told him or anyone about the pregnancy, that it would make things worse. He wasn’t exactly in his right mind.”
Xander grunts, folding his arms cross his chest. “You could’ve told me what was happening. Maybe I could’ve… been here sooner.” His Adam’s apple bobs with each harsh swallow but his eyes are trained on the far wall.
I shuffle closer to him slowly so as not to jostle my side too much and rest my head on his shoulder.
“You’re here now,” I whisper.
“What are you going to do now? I’m not letting you go back to that house,” he says before I have a chance to answer his question.
“Londyn’s already looking into lawyers back in Miami since we were married there and it’s likely to go through faster there than it is here.”
“Even though you technically live here now?”
I shrug. “Apparently Jack was only here on a temporary visitor’s visa. His six months are up next week which means he’ll have to leave and go back to the States, unless he’s already applied for an extension.”
“It’s only been six months since he’s been back?” Xander lets out a harsh breath like he can’t figure out where the time has gone.
“A lot has happened in six months,” I agree.
“I put in my resignation at work,” Xander says suddenly, shocking me.
“You what?” I ask, moving away from him so I can see his face better.
“I put in my resignation,” he says again like it’s no big deal that he just left a company he helped build from the ground up. K&K Construction wouldn’t be where it is today if it weren’t for Xander Carter.
“W-why would you do that?” I squeak.
Now it’s Xander’s turn to shrug. “Got nothing waiting for me back home. Our parents disowned me long before Jack.” He turns to face me, a small tentative smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “Figured I would move here and give the Cape Town way of life a try.”
“You’re serious?”
His face falls and I immediately throw myself at him, forgetting about the knife wound in his side and my broken rib.
“Ow, fuck, shit!” he exclaims and I scramble back in time to see Xander turn a shade of white I’ve never seen before.
“Are you okay?”
He nods slowly, taking deep breaths through his nose and letting them out through his parted lips. When he no longer looks like he’s going to get sick all over Mom’s couch, he reaches for me. Gingerly, this time, I fold myself in his arms.
“I’m serious, Nika. There’s nothing left for me in the States. I mean, that’s if you still consider me part of your family.” He says the last part so quietly that if I wasn’t curled up in his arms I would’ve missed it.
“You’ll always be my family, X. No matter what happens between Jack and I, I’ll always consider you my big brother.”
We sit in companionable silence for a little bit and it’s only when I hear him take in a shuddering breath do I realize that Xander’s crying. I tighten my arms around him a little more, careful to avoid the wound in his side this time.
“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” I joke and feel some of the tension in my body melt away when Xander chuckles.
Later that night when everyone is settled in for bed, with Xander on the couch and Mom down the hall in her room, I put in a quick FaceTime call to Londyn since it’s a little before six there and she should be home from work by now.
“How are you doing?” Londyn says as soon as the call connects, and her face fills the screen.
“Better today.” Which is the truth. It was way easier to move around today without feeling like I had to take a breathing break. I was even able to help Mom with dinner this evening.
“Good. I’m glad. How are things over there?”
“Things are… I don’t know. I still haven’t decided how to go about this whole divorce thing with Jack. Do I give him a heads-up and tell him it’s coming, or do I just blindside him?”
The camera jostles and moves as Londyn walks down the hallway of her apartment and into what I’m assuming is the kitchen when I hear the sound of a coffee maker grinding the beans.
“Do you feel like you owe it to him to warn him after everything?”
“God, I don’t know Londyn. I feel like I owe it to our history, but I don’t really want to see him again.”
She’s quiet for a few beats and I can see her worrying her lip. Trying to figure out the best way to say what she’s thinking without upsetting me.
“Just say it, L.”
“Okay, but you can’t get mad at me.”
“I won’t. Just say whatever it is you’re thinking.”
Her shoulders deflate a little as she looks into the camera nervously. “I don’t think you owe him anything anymore, Annika. I think you’ve already given him enough years of your life. Hell, until recently you were still ready to walk into hell to defend him. I feel like it would be so easy for him to blame his PTSD for what he did to you, if you do go see him, just so that he can get you back. But he could’ve gotten help, for PTSD, for the nightmares… for the drinking, but he chose not to.”
“Are you done?” I ask my best friend when she pauses to take a breath.
“Not quite. He doesn’t deserve you, Annika. Not anymore.”
“I feel like I should’ve done more for him, L. Like, maybe I should’ve forced him to look into support groups here or begged him to quit drinking. Maybe I should’ve told him about the baby.”
Londyn’s brows pull together and her eyes narrow at me through the camera. The lighting is already dark so her bright eyes don’t stand out as much but with them narrowing at me like they are now, they appear almost black.
“You had an impossible decision. To choose between your love for your husband and your love for your unborn child. You did what any other mother would and chose your child. You made the right choice, Annika. You can’t possibly know if Jack would’ve changed for the better when he found out or for the worse.”
“It wasn’t enough,” I say, wiping at the tears beginning to fall. “I didn’t do enough.”
“Oh, honey. I wish I was there to give you a big hug. I’ll just have to give you extra big ones when I see you at Christmas.”
“What do you mean?”
“My boss is sending me to London to help set up the office there,” she grins.
“London? London, England?!”
She laughs. “That’s the one.”
“Shit, L! You’ll be able to fly out whenever you want.”
“Well, not quite that often. It might be less expensive than flying from the States but it’s still an eight-hour flight.”
I wave her off. My tears forgotten. “But you’ll be so close.” I pause, the rest of her statement sinking in. “Wait, did you say Christmas?”
“I did.” Her grin is back. “I had to beg, plead, and promise my first-born child but I was able to get a week off at Christmas. So, I’ll be flying over on the twentieth and leaving the day after Christmas.”
That’s like three months away. I can’t hold back a fresh wave of tears anymore. Just knowing that I’ll have my two best friends close again is making me overly emotional.
“Woah, you okay?”
I nod and try to smile through the tears, but it only aids in make me look even more a mess.
“I’m okay. I’m just really happy that you a
nd Xander will be close again.”
Her phone pings from somewhere behind her MacBook and Londyn disappears out of camera view for a couple of seconds before re-appearing in her seat with Kingston.
“I have to take this call from work, Annika, but I’ll give you a shout tomorrow.”
“Okay. Sounds good. Love you.”
“Kingston and I love you too,” she says and then the video chat cuts off.
Chapter 26
“You sure you’re going to be okay going over there by yourself?” My mom asks, standing between me and the front door of her house.
“I’m sure. Dad is at a meeting with a client right now but then he’s going to drive by the house to make sure everything’s okay and fetch me,” I say, giving her a reassuring smile.
She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “I still don’t like this at all.”
“Me neither,” Xander chimes in, shuffling down the hall from the bathroom.
“I’m not a fan of this either, but I need to at least go and get my clothes. And you’re not in any shape to start driving again,” I say turning to Xander and indicating his still bandaged side.
He grumbles something about taking the damn stitches out himself sooner as he shuffles back to the couch and plonks himself down. As much as he’s trying to tune Mom and I out, I know he’s still listening to every word we say. Some days I wonder if he shouldn’t have enlisted instead of Jack. Or at least become a police officer. He has all the protective instincts.
“I’ll be back.” I pull my mom in for a brief hug and kiss her cheek before grabbing the keys off the hook by the door and making my way out to the Opal in the driveway.
I shouldn’t be driving either, but my ribs feel a lot better as long as I don’t overreach for something or do anything to jostle my side too much. Plus, my dad switched cars with me again today so I can have the power steering and if it gets to be too much, I’ll leave my car at the house and jump in with Dad. He said he doesn’t mind taking Dave to go fetch the car later on if need be.
It takes me just over an hour to get to the house on the R310 freeway and when I pull into the driveway, the bukkie Jack was borrowing from dad is parked in front. I really hope he’s not attempting to keep the damn thing. That’s not something we need to add on the pile of shit we’re dealing with right now.
Then There Was You (Twist of Fate) Page 18
