Dear Lord, she had criticised her mother for leaping into unsuitable relationships with no thought of the consequences, yet here she was, unbearably tempted to do the same thing. She licked her dry lips and forced herself to speak. ‘I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.’
She would have to think about it? Something kicked in Diego’s chest and for a moment he felt faintly incredulous. Never in his life had a woman told him she would have to think about agreeing to continue an affair with him. The situation rarely arose. He had a low boredom threshold and usually tired of his lovers after a few weeks. Rachel was different although, to his intense irritation, he could not work out why she continued to intrigue him. But he had no intention of letting her know that her answer mattered to him. Instead, he closed the gap between them and slid his hand beneath her chin, satisfaction surging through him when he saw the mixture of confusion and undisguised hunger in her cornflower-blue eyes.
‘Perhaps this will help you decide,’ he murmured as he lowered his head and crushed her soft mouth beneath his. He ignored the fact that he never kissed his lovers in public, intent on bending her to his will in the one way he was certain of victory. She was as stubborn as a mule, and if he was honest he admired her fierce independence. She was a challenge, and perhaps that was why he had not bored of her. All he knew was that he wanted her with him in New York, and from her unguarded response to him he was confident she would agree to come.
When he finally lifted his mouth from hers, Rachel could only stare at him dazedly. Her heart was racing, her face felt hot and she knew her lips must be swollen. So much for wanting to avoid drawing attention to herself, she thought numbly.
‘Diego, when you’ve got a minute, old man, I’d like your tips for the next race,’ a voice sounded from behind them.
Diego cast a brief glance at the guest who had interrupted them. ‘I’ll be right with you, Archie.’ He looked down at Rachel’s flushed face and smiled. ‘Give me your answer tonight,’ he murmured. But the triumphant gleam in his eyes when he stepped away from her told her that he was confident of her reply.
With an effort she tore her eyes away from him as he strolled over to a group of his friends, and her heart sank when she saw that Jasper Hardwick had stepped out onto the balcony and was staring at her. Something in his sneering expression made her blood run cold and when a waiter materialised at her side, offering champagne, she took a glass and quickly walked to the far end of the balcony, determined to concentrate on the racing for the remainder of the afternoon.
‘What do you think of Ascot, Rachel? I understand this is your first visit.’
She had been standing alone for several minutes when the cultured voice disturbed her solitude. She lowered her binoculars and smiled hesitantly at Guy Chetwin. ‘It is. And it’s …’ she gave a faint shrug, her glance encompassing the view of the crowds in the public enclosure below, the velvet green lawns and the racing track that sliced through the grounds like an emerald river ‘… spectacular.’
‘I’m glad you are enjoying the day.’ Guy moved until he was standing a little too close for Rachel’s liking. His thin mouth curved into a smile, but the eyes that trailed slowly over her were coolly assessing. ‘You look charming, my dear. Diego has always had exceptionally good taste.’
Guy made her sound like an object rather than a person. Something in his tone caused Rachel to stiffen and her hand moved unconsciously to the diamond choker around her neck.
His eyes followed her movement. ‘A pretty trinket,’ he commented. ‘Cartier, if I’m not mistaken?’
‘I believe so,’ she murmured. ‘Diego gave it to me.’ She was going to add that she had only reluctantly agreed to wear the necklace to Ascot after intense persuasion from Diego, but Guy spoke first.
‘I’m sure you deserve it.’ He uttered the curious statement in a pleasant enough tone, but Rachel detected a nuance in his voice that made her skin crawl. ‘I hear you’re accompanying Diego to New York.’
‘How do you know…?’ She struggled to hide her shock that Diego must have discussed her with his friend. ‘Actually, I haven’t decided whether to go yet.’
‘Ah …’ Guy laughed. ‘Well, I don’t blame you for trying to up the stakes. But a word of advice, my dear. Don’t keep him dangling for too long. There are plenty of other pretty penniless young women who attend events such as Ascot with the sole intention of bagging themselves a rich lover.’
This time the edge of contempt in his voice was unmistakable and Rachel flushed. ‘I’m not with Diego because he’s wealthy,’ she said tightly.
‘Of course you are,’ Guy drawled in a coldly amused tone. ‘I can spot a common little gold-digger a mile off.’ He lifted his hand to her throat and traced his finger over the diamond choker. ‘I see that you have expensive tastes, but you are quite clearly not one of us. Diego might have dressed you in haute couture, but I’m afraid nothing can disguise your lack of breeding,’ he added bluntly.
Humiliation engulfed Rachel, robbing her of a reply to Guy’s outrageous comments. A cheer went up as the leading horse on the track swept past the finishing post. The sun was blazing in the cloudless sky but she felt icy cold and she gripped the balcony rail as Guy moved away from her and melted into the crowd who had spilled out of the box to watch the race. Part of her wanted to follow him and demand an apology for his disgusting suggestion that she was a gold-digger but, as she stared down at her designer dress and her hand strayed once more to the diamonds around her neck, her stomach lurched with the realisation that, by accepting Diego’s gifts of clothes and jewellery, she had sold herself to him.
Last night’s sex had been amazing but she had been aware of a subtle change in his attitude towards her—a new boldness in his demands and an expectation for her to fulfil his every fantasy. She had felt flattered that he was so turned on by her wearing her new sexy underwear, but now she wondered sickly if he believed he had paid for her to please him.
What had happened to her fiercely guarded independence? she wondered, fighting the nausea that swept through her. How could she have sacrificed it for a sexual liaison that she had known from the outset would never mean anything to Diego? The trials for the British showjumping team were coming up and she should be spending all her free time practising on Piran, but instead she had been on the brink of agreeing to take off to New York with a man who had never given any indication that she meant anything to him outside the bedroom.
Rachel bit her lip and forced herself to face the truth. The reason she had been contemplating going with him was because she had hoped that their affair would develop into something deeper—that Diego would fall for her as she had fallen for him. Ever since he had invited her to Ascot she had been kidding herself that there must be a reason why he wanted to introduce her to his friends. And when he had asked her to accompany him to New York she had taken it as proof that he was starting to feel something for her and regarded her as more than a casual sex partner.
Guy Chetwin’s scathing comment that she was ‘not one of us’ made her realise what a fool she had been. Diego would never want more than a brief affair with her. The social divide between them was enormous, but it was not just that—it was Diego himself. At this moment he was chatting and laughing with the other guests, drawing people to him with his effortless charm. But she recognised that he was essentially a loner who guarded his emotions and never allowed anyone too close. In all the time they had spent together, he had never spoken of his family and had steered their conversation firmly away from his personal life. She did not really know him at all, she realised miserably.
Lost in a sea of dark thoughts, she was unaware that he had joined her until his deep-timbred voice sent the familiar quiver down her spine.
‘You are cold, querida,’ he murmured, running his hand lightly over her arm and noting the tiny goose bumps on her skin. ‘Shall we go inside? Jasper Hardwick has gone down to the Royal Enclosure, by the way.’ He frowned when Rachel made no acknowled
gement of his presence. ‘You seemed to be getting on well with Guy,’ he said lightly, irritated with himself for the ridiculous spurt of jealousy he’d felt when he had watched them standing close together. ‘What were you talking about?’
Rachel gave a brittle laugh. ‘Your friend Guy accused me of being a gold-digger,’ she said tightly. ‘He believes I’m only with you because I want to get my grubby hands on your money.’
Diego’s eyes narrowed on her angry face. ‘I’m sure you must have been mistaken …’ he began slowly.
‘I wasn’t,’ Rachel interrupted him fiercely. ‘According to Lord Chetwin, Ascot is a popular hunting ground for pretty penniless women who are looking for a rich stud. He thinks I sold myself to you. And that’s what you think too, isn’t it, Diego?’ she demanded shrilly, hurt and humiliation threatening to shatter her tenuous grip on her self-control. ‘The clothes and the necklace—they were payment for my “services”.’
‘I do not regard them as payment for anything,’ he growled. ‘You needed something to wear today …’
‘So that I would be socially acceptable to your wealthy friends,’ Rachel said bitterly. ‘But apparently the posh frock and the diamonds don’t disguise my lack of breeding.’
Her voice had risen once again. Diego frowned when heads turned in their direction. ‘This is ridiculous,’ he snapped. ‘There has clearly been a misunderstanding. I’ll find Guy and explain that you are my …’
He hesitated, and in the tense silence that quivered between them Rachel’s stomach churned. ‘Your what, Diego?’ she asked huskily. ‘Perhaps this is a good time to clarify our relationship … and discuss our future.’
Diego stiffened. The conversation was sounding ominously like the ones he’d had with previous lovers, when the word commitment reared its ugly head. His dark brows winged upwards. ‘Our future, querida?’ he said in a dangerously soft tone. ‘I’m afraid there is little to discuss.’
‘Then why did you ask me to go to New York with you?’ In her heart she knew the answer, but she needed to have it spelled out. ‘Was it really just for sex?’
Yes, damn it, he thought furiously. He wasn’t prepared to admit to himself, let alone to Rachel, that he had been looking forward to showing her around one of his favourite cities.
‘Don’t knock it, Rachel,’ he said coldly. ‘I haven’t heard you complaining. You’ve enjoyed our affair as much as I have. I thought we could continue to enjoy each other for another month while I’m in the States, but to be frank, I never considered that it would lead to any kind of permanent arrangement.’
Rachel tried to ignore the tearing pain in her chest. ‘I see,’ she said quietly.
‘Dios!’ he growled harshly, infuriated by the note of hurt in her voice, and by the unexpected feeling of guilt that tugged at his insides. ‘I made it clear from the start that I’m not in the market for any kind of committed relationship.’ If it was emotion she was looking for, she had come to the wrong man—because his had died with Eduardo. He was cold and empty inside, but in a strange way he welcomed the aching loneliness. It was what he deserved—a punishment and a pain that would last a lifetime.
‘I thought you were happy with a no-strings affair,’ he said tersely. His frustration bubbled over. ‘What were you expecting, Rachel—a marriage proposal?’
‘Of course not,’ she snapped, stung by his scathing tone. ‘But, to go to New York with you, I would have to give up my job, my financial security, and probably my dreams of winning a place in the British Equestrian team. That’s a lot to ask of me, Diego, when all you’re offering in return is a month in your bed.’
Honesty forced Diego to acknowledge the truth of her words, but he was furious that she had backed him into a corner. Rachel’s message was clear—commit to some sort of relationship or I won’t come to the States with you. Fine, he thought grimly. He’d never been dictated to by a woman in his life, and he wasn’t going to start now.
‘But that’s all I am offering, querida,’ he said coldly. ‘Take it or leave it.’
Rachel was unprepared for the surge of pain that swept through her. This was it. It was over—the ending of their affair as sudden and unexpected as its beginning. It didn’t have to be the end, a voice whispered urgently in her head. She could smile and shake back her hair—look him boldly in the eyes and agree to his terms. Fantastic sex with no emotions involved for another month. But emotions were involved, she acknowledged heavily. Her emotions. She was falling in love with him—and she had to end it now, before her heart suffered serious damage. She was not like her mother. She would not sacrifice everything for a man. Not even this man.
Tears burned the back of her throat but she would rather die than cry in front of him. ‘I’ll leave it,’ she told him, proud that she sounded strong and in control when she felt anything but. ‘And I think it would be best if I leave immediately—before any of your other friends accuse me of being a gold-digger,’ she added bitterly.
‘I’ll speak to Guy,’ Diego said tersely. ‘I have no doubt he’ll be anxious to apologise for his mistake.’
‘Forget it,’ Rachel said dully, suddenly bone weary. ‘I don’t care what he thinks of me. I just want to go.’
Diego stiffened. If she thought he would beg and plead, she was mistaken. His eyes narrowed on her delicate face and he remembered how she had writhed beneath him last night, her cheeks flushed and her mouth reddened and swollen from his kisses. She was beautiful, and he could not deny that he desired her. But beautiful women were ten-a-penny, he reminded himself grimly, and desire was transitory.
‘Very well. I intend to enjoy the rest of the day’s racing, but I’ll arrange for a chauffeur to take you back to London.’ Perhaps a couple of hours on her own would bring her to her senses, he brooded sardonically. After a cooling off period he was confident she would change her mind. The sexual alchemy between them was too intense for either of them to walk away until it had burned itself out. ‘We’ll spend tonight at the flat and I’ll drive you back to Gloucestershire tomorrow.’ He swung on his heel and strode off, but then paused and glanced back at her motionless figure. ‘Come with me now,’ he ordered impatiently. ‘I’ll escort you to the car.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘I’LL see you later,’ Diego told Rachel brusquely as he shut the car door. When the limousine pulled away she turned her head and stared back at him, desperate to imprint his face on her mind one last time—because she had no intention of being at the flat when he returned.
Back in London, it took her less than twenty minutes to change into her jeans, hang up her Ascot outfit in the wardrobe with the other clothes Diego had bought her, and place the diamond choker back in its velvet box. By the time he walked into the penthouse and discovered it empty, she was at Paddington Station, boarding a train to Gloucester.
Rachel spent the following few days on tenterhooks, waiting for Diego to return to Hardwick, certain that he would be furious with her for running out on him. She had made it clear that she was ending their affair, but could she trust herself to resist him if he tried to persuade her back into his bed?
In the event her sleepless nights were for nothing. Diego was due to spend one more week at Hardwick Polo Club, but on Monday morning, when she arrived at the stables, she learned from the other stable-hands that he wasn’t coming back and had already flown to his polo school in the States.
‘How was your trip to Cornwall?’Alex asked her.
‘Cornwall…?’ She stared at him blankly, her insides churning at the knowledge that Diego had gone and that she would never see him again.
‘To see your dad—Diego told us you’d gone to visit him for a few days,’ Alex said cheerfully.
‘Oh … yes … it was fine,’ she mumbled, shaken that Diego had lied on her behalf. He had known she hadn’t wanted anyone at Hardwick to find out about their affair and the realisation that he had taken steps to protect her from being the subject of gossip caused her heart to splinter.
; She had done the right thing in refusing to go to New York with him, she reassured herself that night as she tossed restlessly beneath the sheet, unable to sleep in her airless caravan. In a few weeks’ time Diego would return to his native Argentina—and she would have had to come back to England and start all over again, looking for a job and somewhere to live. Another month in his bed was all he had ever offered, and she would never forget the hard expression in his eyes when he’d challenged her to ‘take it or leave it’.
The days after she had ended her affair with Diego stretched slowly into weeks, and eventually the whole summer dragged by, but the curious lethargy that had settled over Rachel grew steadily worse. Life seemed to have lost its sparkle, and the aching loneliness inside her was not eased by spending time with her friends, or even riding Piran. She seemed to be running on autopilot and even though she threw herself into work and socialising, and competing in various showjumping events, nothing could alter the fact that she missed Diego desperately.
In early September she won a place with the British Show Jumping Team to compete in the European championships. Peter Irving was delighted and she forced herself to act as though she was excited. Competing at a national level had been her lifelong ambition, but instead of feeling euphoric she felt flat and tired, and angry with herself that she was still pining for a man who had probably forgotten all about her.
Diego had been busy for the past weeks. Rachel had read in various riding magazines of his success in polo matches in Barbados, Singapore, and most recently at the US Open Polo Championships in Palm Beach, Florida, and she had felt sick with misery when she’d stared at the photo of him surrounded by gorgeous glamour models. The nauseous feeling continued to plague her. She’d probably picked up one of the many viruses that seemed to be around in the autumn, but decided to mention it to her doctor when she went to collect a new supply of her contraceptive pill.
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