At that moment a waitress appeared and placed two steaming mugs of Camp Coffee in front of them. Adina smiled her thanks before turning her attention back to Ariel.
‘So, out with it then,’ she ordered bossily, as she spooned sugar into her drink.
‘Well, the thing is . . . I’ve missed a period,’ Adina mumbled, keeping her eyes downcast.
Adina gasped as the implications of what Ariel had just told her sunk in. Surely Ariel couldn’t be pregnant too? It seemed like only two minutes since Beryl had found herself in the same predicament.
‘It’s probably just worry,’ she gabbled. ‘You know, about Brian and whatnot. You’re probably just late.’
‘I’m usually very regular,’ Ariel reminded her miserably.
‘Even so, you’ve been through a difficult time.’ Adina refused to let herself believe that Ariel could be pregnant. ‘There’s no point fretting about it just yet.’
‘But what if you are wrong? What if I am having a baby? Do you think Papa will let me marry Brian then?’
Adina sighed. All she knew was that he would really disown Ariel for good if she was pregnant. Up until now, Adina had prayed that he would have a change of heart – but she knew him well enough to know that he would see this as his youngest daughter’s final betrayal. A Jewish girl pregnant outside of marriage was something that he would never countenance. She deliberately turned the conversation to other matters, hoping to distract Ariel, and eventually they wandered back through the marketplace to Woolworth’s where they hugged and parted after promising to meet up again the following week.
As Adina made her way home she felt as if she had the worries of the whole world on her shoulders. She missed Beryl and Ariel every single day, and the fact that she was seeing Karl behind her father’s back was weighing on her mind. Her father had always been a kind, if somewhat strict parent, and Adina loved both him and the rest of the family unconditionally. But they were living in changing times and she knew that if she was to have any sort of life at all with Karl, she would soon have to say goodbye to all of them. The war was finally going in the Allies’ favour. In fact, some people were saying that it could all be over soon. When that happened, she would return to Germany with Karl and she would probably never see her family again.
Adina could scarcely begin to imagine what sort of an effect this would have on her mother. Both of her daughters would be lost to her for ever, and now they were also slowly having to accept that Dovi might never be the same again. He had taken to roaming the streets at the most ungodly hours, and for most of the time seemed oblivious to them. The only time he seemed to be truly happy was when he was in the company of the little cockney evacuee next door.
Lately, Adina had got the impression that Mrs Haynes wasn’t too happy about the amount of time Sarah and Dovi spent together. She could understand it. Many of the people hereabouts gave Dovi a wide berth, and she knew that it was whispered that he wasn’t quite right in the head since he had returned from the war. But then after what he had gone through, how could he be? War was a truly terrible thing.
Chapter Twenty-One
When Ariel had missed three periods, Adina finally persuaded her to go to the doctor’s with her. She had now confided her fears to Brian’s parents and they had promised to stand by her no matter what, although they were not pleased with her father’s attitude, and considered he was being unreasonable. And so on a frosty February morning in 1945 Ariel and Adina both took a morning off work and set off for the surgery in Riversley Road.
‘What am I going to do if I am pregnant?’ Ariel wailed as she clung to her sister’s arm.
‘If you are, then Papa must allow you to get married,’ Adina replied matter-of-factly. ‘But let us cross that bridge when we come to it, eh? You don’t even know that you are pregnant yet.’
They were finally shown in to see an harassed grey-haired doctor after sitting on hard wooden seats in the waiting room for over half an hour, by which time Ariel had almost chewed her fingernails down to the quick.
He peered at Ariel over the top of horn-rimmed glasses before asking, ‘So what seems to be the trouble, Miss Schwartz?’
Ariel bowed her head in shame as she mumbled, ‘I think I might be having a baby, sir.’
‘Hm, do you now? Well, jump up on the couch and we’ll have a little look at you, shall we?’
To her surprise there was no reproach in his voice. He had seen so much during the years of the war that another unplanned pregnancy was nothing to him.
‘Do your breasts feel tender?’ he asked as he examined her.
Ariel nodded, blinking back tears.
His fingers gently probed her stomach and then he told her, ‘You can do your blouse and skirt up now. I’m fairly sure that you’re about three months or so.’
‘Oh!’ A whirl of emotions were sweeping through her as she fiddled with the buttons on her blouse. Half of her was thrilled to think that Brian’s child was growing inside her. The other half was terrified of how her parents would react to the news.
‘What am I going to do?’ she asked later, as she and Adina strolled through Riversley Park.
Adina had been very quiet but now she told her, ‘I think we ought to just go and tell our parents and get it over with.’
‘I can’t!’ Panic laced Ariel’s voice. ‘I am too frightened.’
‘Well, they will have to find out sooner or later,’ Adina sensibly pointed out. ‘And far better that they hear it from you, than from someone else. I shall be there to speak up for you, so what do you say?’
Ariel gulped. ‘All right then. I suppose you’re right but . . . would you tell them for me?’
‘If you think it will help,’ Adina said bravely, already fearing what lay ahead. ‘Come on then. Let’s go and get it over and done with, eh?’
Ariel gripped her sister’s hand, much as she had used to do when she was a little girl, and they turned in the direction of home.
The closer they got to the shop, the more nervous Ariel became. This would be the first time she had seen her parents since the day she had left home, and although she had missed them far more than she had thought possible, she dreaded this encounter.
It was a dark overcast day and as they approached, the light from the shop window spilled out onto the pavement.
‘Best go in through the back way,’ Adina advised as she saw her father serving a customer.
Ariel nodded in silent agreement and they scurried towards the entry. They had just started up it when the gate opened and Mrs Haynes appeared, wrapped up in a warm coat and scarf.
‘Why, bless my soul!’ she exclaimed as she looked towards the two girls. ‘Ariel, it’s lovely to see you again, luv. Are you coming home?’
When Ariel gazed back at her tongue-tied, the woman squeezed past them and continued down the entry. It seemed that the cat had got the girl’s tongue but then she supposed it was none of her business why Ariel had suddenly turned up like a bad penny again. No doubt she would get to hear of the visit in due course anyway. She and Freyde had become quite close now and she knew how much her neighbour had missed her daughter.
‘I’ll see you later then, girls,’ she trilled with a cheery smile. ‘If I don’t get a shufty on, all the best pork will be gone from the butcher’s an’ we’ll be havin’ scrag end fer tea again.’
The girls waited until she had disappeared from sight and then Adina asked, ‘Are you ready?’
‘As I’ll ever be,’ Ariel murmured as her heart began to pound. She followed her sister through the gate and across the yard, and then they were entering the kitchen – and as Freyde looked up from the pastry she was rolling on the kitchen table, her mouth dropped open.
‘Ariel!’ she gasped as she slammed the rolling pin down. ‘Whatever are you doing here, bubbeleh?’
When Ariel burst into tears, Freyde quickly wiped her floury hands on her apron and wrapped her daughter in her arms. Ariel sobbed on her mother’s shoulder until the shop door sudd
enly opened and her father appeared in the doorway.
‘What’s this then?’ he asked sternly. ‘I thought I had made it clear that you were never to darken our door again.’
‘Ezra, stop it! Can’t you see that she is distressed?’ Freyde pleaded, then turning her attention back to Ariel she asked gently, ‘What is wrong? Has Brian hurt you?’
‘No, it’s nothing like that.’ Ariel looked helplessly at her sister, and as their parents’ eyes turned towards her, Adina took a deep breath.
‘The thing is, Ariel is in trouble.’
‘What sort of trouble?’ Her father’s eyebrows had almost disappeared into his hairline, so she hastily went on, ‘We just came from the doctor’s, who informed us that Ariel is going to have a baby.’
The silence in the room was deafening, and Adina could have bitten her tongue out. Surely I could have put it more gently to them? she thought, but it was too late for whipping herself now. It was said and there was no going back.
Her father became so red in the face that for a moment, Adina was scared that he was going to burst a blood vessel. He seemed to have swelled to twice his size too but then suddenly he raised a trembling finger and pointing it at Ariel, he growled, ‘Get out now and let this be the last time I ever have to set eyes on you. You have brought shame onto our family.’
For the first time in her life Adina stretched to her full height and confronted her father.
‘She can’t just go like that!’ she exploded. ‘She’s made a mistake but she wants to put it right and marry the child’s father. For her to do that, she will need your permission and I think that’s the least you could give if you’re not prepared to stand by her, Papa!’
Shock registered on her father’s face. Adina had never given him a day’s worry in her whole life, but now here she was squaring up to him as if they were facing each other in a boxing ring.
‘How dare you,’ he ground out, his voice quivering with rage. ‘This is between your sister and me. You just keep out of it.’
‘But it isn’t,’ Adina defied him, as angry as he was now. ‘This concerns all of us. You say she has brought shame on the family, but how much more shameful will it be if she gives birth to a child out of wedlock? Brian is away fighting for his country – doesn’t that count for anything?’
Ezra hesitated as his wife stared at him from teary eyes. He was a fair man and had always done the best for his family, but old habits were hard to break and his religion was still important to him. Had Ariel fallen in love with a Jewish boy it would have been a different matter entirely, but the way he saw it, she had betrayed everything that he stood for.
‘Could you not consider it?’ Freyde now implored him. ‘We cannot choose who we fall in love with, Ezra, and had we been able to stay in our own country, no doubt this situation would never have arisen. But it has, and now we must do what we can to make the best of it. We are living in difficult times.’
Just for a moment it appeared that Ezra was weakening, but then with his hands clenched into fists he strode back into the shop, slamming the door behind him.
‘So now what shall I do?’ Ariel sobbed.
Dovi had witnessed all this from the depths of the armchair at the side of the fire, and now Ariel noticed him for the first time. She took a step towards him with her hands outstretched and her face full of love, but he simply stared through her as if she was a stranger.
Her hands dropped limply to her side as her mother gently turned her towards the door. ‘Go now, bubbeleh,’ she implored her. ‘At least he hasn’t definitely said no yet. He may come round and grant permission for you to marry. I shall send word of his decision with Adina and meantime we shall work on him.’
Once she had gone, Freyde ran a hand wearily across her forehead. ‘Where is all this going to end?’ she groaned. ‘Not so very long ago we were a united family, and now look at us.’
Adina patted her arm sympathetically. ‘It isn’t the end of the world,’ she said wisely, ‘and as Bubba always used to tell us, “there is always light at the end of the tunnel”.’
Freyde nodded but her heart was heavy, for she knew that whatever Ezra decided, her youngest daughter was lost to her for ever.
Their conversation was stopped from going any further when Dovi suddenly rose from his seat and shuffled over to put on his coat.
‘Where are you going?’ Freyde asked. She hated Dovi to go off on his own but was powerless to stop him.
‘Out,’ he mumbled, and seconds later he was gone. Freyde sighed before returning to her baking. Adina headed for the stairs door, glad of a chance to escape the gloomy atmosphere when her mother said, ‘Oh, I forgot to tell you with everything going on. A letter came for you this morning. It’s behind the clock on the mantelpiece.’
Curious, Adina went and lifted the letter, and as she saw the foreign stamps, her face lit up. ‘I think it’s from Beryl,’ she told her mother excitedly. ‘I’ll just go up to my room and read it and then I’ll come down and help you with the baking.’
Freyde smiled indulgently. At least Adina never let her down. Little did she know.
Once upstairs in the privacy of her room, Adina eagerly tore the letter open and began to read, but the further she went down the page the faster her smile disappeared. Beryl didn’t sound her normal bubbly self at all. Oh, she told her that she was settled with Tyrone’s parents and that they were kind to her, but other than that it was very uninformative. Adina frowned. She had been expecting Beryl’s first letter to be full of praise about her new life in America, but it might have been written by a stranger and was very formal.
Deeply disappointed, she pushed it back into the envelope and stared off into space. Perhaps Beryl was finding it difficult to adapt to her new life? After all, she was far away from friends and family. Feeling slightly better, Adina nodded to herself. Yes, that must be it. The next letter would probably be more forthcoming, once she had had time to get used to everything.
Humming softly to herself, she slipped back downstairs to help her mother, her head full of Karl, whom she would be meeting that evening.
He was waiting for her in the tunnel that led into Riversley Park, which had now reopened, and Adina’s heart raced at the sight of him. She had been glad to escape from the tense atmosphere back at home and had told her mother that she was going to meet one of the young teachers from the school where she still worked. She hated lying to her but knew that she had no option. Her mother and father had barely spoken to each other since Ariel had left, and when Dovi had returned from his walk he too had seemed nervy and tense.
‘Adina.’ Karl hurried to meet her and she wrapped her arms about him as she snuggled her head into his broad chest. She could hear his heartbeat and wished that they could just stay that way for ever.
‘Come, let us walk,’ he said. He was very aware that they might be seen, and that was the last thing they needed at present.
Walking a safe distance apart they emerged from the tunnel and began to cross the fields towards the brook, glad of the darkness that hid them from prying eyes.
She began to tell him of Ariel’s predicament and he listened sympathetically. He knew how much she loved her family and hated what their relationship might do to them, but it had gone too far for them to stop it now.
‘I had a letter from Beryl today,’ she told him and he smiled.
‘Is she well and happy?’
‘Well . . .’ Adina chewed thoughtfully on her lip. ‘It was very brief, to be honest. I expected it to be full of Tyrone’s parents’ ranch, but she didn’t even mention it. She just said that all was well with the baby and that she was fine.’
He shrugged. ‘Perhaps it is taking her some time to adjust to being away from home.’
‘That’s what I am hoping,’ she agreed and they wandered on, their breath flowing out in front of them like fine lace in the light of the moon that was filtering through the leafless trees.
‘I have a feeling that the war will soon b
e over now,’ he told her as stroked her hand tenderly.
‘Yes, Papa has said the same,’ Adina replied. ‘We were listening to the wireless tonight and it said that Winston Churchill, Joseph Stalin and Franklin Roosevelt are meeting in Yalta to redraw the map of postwar Europe as the Red Army advances into Germany. Papa has said that Adolf Hitler is running scared now.’
‘And so he should be,’ Karl spat bitterly. ‘The British troops have been sickened by what they discovered at the Belsen camp. It is a crime against humanity to treat people so. And many hundreds of thousands have been sent to the gas chambers at Auschwitz and elsewhere. The man is a monster and must die for his sins! He has made me ashamed to be German!’
Adina could not reply. The scale of the atrocities committed by the Nazis against the Jews was something that would take a lifetime to comprehend; an eternity to forgive.
Karl cleared his throat, then ploughed on: ‘What I told you before still stands. I must return to Germany alone, but as soon as it is possible I will return for you and then we will never have to be apart again.’
Adina longed to ask him why, but refrained from doing so. She knew Karl well enough to know that he would not leave her if it was not absolutely necessary, and he was worth waiting for. And then he laid his coat down on the frozen earth, and she forgot all her worries as she gave herself up to the sheer joy of his kisses.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Two days later, Adina arrived home after lunch one day to find her mother comforting Mrs Haynes in their kitchen.
‘What’s wrong?’ she asked at once.
Their neighbour blew her nose noisily on a huge cotton handkerchief as she waved a letter in the air.
‘It’s our little Sarah,’ she gulped.
Adina’s forehead creased with concern. ‘What about her?’
‘Well, it ain’t her exactly.’ Mrs Haynes dabbed at her streaming eyes. ‘It’s her mother, God rest her soul. I got word that she’s gone. Poof, just like that, took out by one o’ them bleedin’ doodlebugs. Poor bugger – poor Sarah an’ all. I can’t pretend I ever had much time fer that mother o’ hers, but she didn’t deserve to go like that. An’ what am I supposed to tell the little mite, eh?’
A Band of Steel Page 17
