Our eyes met and my knees buckled from beneath me. I caught my balance and forced myself to stand tall, there was no going back.
"You need to go."
"See! I told you! She doesn't want your sorry excuses. Now LEAVE!"
His eyes didn't break from mine but fury filled them. In a very cool, calm, matter-of-fact voice he let out slowly, "Who did this to you?"
He walked toward me, never leaving my eyes and I was practically lost in his. By the time he reached me I was ready to forget it all if he would just hold me. Until...
He reached his hand out to touch my face and I cringed. His hand paused in midair before it continued to move forward and landed on my cheek.
"Daisy, I am going to murder whoever did this to you. I am going to tear him to fucking pieces slowly. Tell me now, who did this?"
I opened my mouth to tell him everything and to beg him to make it all better but what came out wasn't that.
"I don't want you to fix this, Mike. I don't want you to do anything but leave me alone and never come back."
His hand pulled back like I slapped him across the face.
"What did I do?"
"You cheated on her, you fucking douche bag!"
Mike turned to Zoey and then back to me.
"I DID WHAT?"
"I saw you."
"You saw me what, Daisy? I haven't even looked at another girl since you. There is no fucking way you saw me do anything!"
"Just go, Mike. It's over."
"Hell no it's not over. Tell me what you think you saw! I deserve at least knowing what I did to lose you."
"I came to your room that night and she answered the door. I saw you naked, passed out in bed. Don't treat me like I'm stupid!"
His hands went to his head and if he had any hair he would have been pulling it out. Every vein was pulsing so strong you could actually see the blood pumping through it.
"I want to be so mad at you right now. I want to walk out of here and make you suffer for not believing in me, in us, but I can't. As much as I'm angry I just can't lose you again."
"You. Want. To. Be. Mad. At. Me?"
"Yes, you. Tell me, Daisy, did you turn on a light? Did you walk over to the bed and slap me across the face for hurting you? What did you do once you saw me?"
"I left."
"You left. And where did you go?"
This was it. I was so angry at him for even trying to spin this around on me that I wanted to scream the truth in his face and make him suffer, but I didn't.
"None of your business."
"Everything about you is my business!"
"Not anymore." I looked him square in the face and made sure I spoke clearly enough that my point would come across loud and clear, even if I didn't mean a word of it. "It's over. Go back to Illinois and move on. I don't love you."
He recoiled. His whole body came at me so fast I couldn’t think before his hands grabbed each side of my face and his lips came crashing down on mine.
The force behind his need for me had me kicking and fighting to get him off. The more I fought the harder he fought back, not wanting to let me go and yet not understanding what his hold on me was doing until finally I broke free.
"Don't! Don't touch me! Let me go PLEASE! I DON’T WANT THIS!"
"LET HER GO!”
Zoey had to practically pull me from his grasp and when she finally succeeded, Mike looked as broken as I was.
"You really don't want me."
My eyes filled with tears as my chest rose and fell. He knew. I watched as his eyes switched from pain to realization.
"Tell me what happened after you left that room, Daisy."
"I can't."
He watched me, waiting for his answer and when he didn't get it he turned and walked for the door. Once the knob was in his hand he turned back to me and said, "I stayed in Jason's room that night so that Chris could be alone with her. It wasn't me."
“That’s bullshit and you know it! Chris is gay!”
“Maybe you should get to know people a little better, Daisy. He swings. Always has, always will.”
And then he walked out, closing the door behind him.
Chapter 24
"Do you believe him?"
I stood there, staring at the door, hoping he would come back through it. But every second that passed I was grateful he didn't. I wasn't the same girl and I needed to let him go, whether he cheated or not.
"It doesn't matter either way."
"Well, did you actually see him or did you just think it was him?"
"Like I said, none of that matters anymore."
I started to walk back into the bedroom when Zoey yelled, "Not so fast!"
I turned to face her with my eyes filled with tears.
"What really happened, because that—" she pointed back at the door "—made no sense at all."
"I can't, Zoey."
"Yes you can. I saw the way he loves you and I know you love him that much and more. I also know that you never would be repulsed by his touch unless..."
As each word came out of her mouth I wanted her to stop. I begged and pleaded with my eyes as the tears escaped them but it did no good, as I watched her figure it out and the world came crashing down around me.
"Oh my God. NO!"
She flew across the room and wrapped me in her arms, the only arms that I apparently would let wrap around me and that's when I completely broke.
I told her everything that I could remember, where I woke up and how I got to New York.
"Marissa, why didn't you report that son-of-a-bitch?"
"Can you imagine what would have come from that? He may be a has-been but he still was once the heavyweight champion, Zoey. His lawyers would drag me through the mud. How could they prove I wasn't willing? I didn't fight back, he knocked me out before I could."
"That's no reason to not try and keep him from doing this to other girls. Mar, he probably thinks he's untouchable. You need to tell someone. "
"I just did."
"Someone who can do something about this. I can't."
"Maybe that's why I came here, so that it could all just go away."
"The only thing that went away is the one man who would do anything for you."
"He fell for the girl who didn't know anything. The girl who thought that a bad day consisted of falling and hurting her leg! He deserves better than what I am now. I know you may not believe me but I know that I am broken and it's not his job to fix me."
"You are so much more than what was stripped from you."
Tears were running down her face as she rubbed her thumbs back and forth over the tops of my hands.
"You are the most amazing person I have ever known and I won't let that piece of fucking shit rip that from you."
We both eventually decided to go back to sleep but I found myself lying next to her unable to do so. I went over and over walking into his room and seeing him. I was so sure at the time but after thinking about it, it wasn't him and I should have known that too. Sometimes you have to wonder if fate puts you to the test or if it's your own doing.
Zoey's alarm went off at eight o'clock. I could have told her I was awake but the time I had to myself made me realize I wasn't ready to deal with what came next. I kept my eyes closed and my breathing shallow as she got up to turn it off and then came to sit on my side of the bed.
Softly, I heard her whisper, "I wish I could take it all away for you."
“Sometimes wishes don't come true,” I thought as I fought the tears that wanted so badly to fall from my eyes.
She got up and jumped in the shower. By the time she got out I had thankfully fallen back to sleep and escaped the dreaded what are you going to do today conversation.
Hours later I forced myself out of bed and made a pot of coffee. It was a cool day so sitting next to an open window allowed my body to welcome the warmth of the cup in my hand.
I heard a knock on the door and immediately went stiff. Who could be here? Mike wouldn't
come back, not after the way I left him hours ago. I know he thought I cheated on him to get him back. I could tell by the way he looked at me. Whatever it was going to take to keep him away was worth it.
"I know you're in there, Marissa."
I walked over to the door and opened it, relieved to see Adon on the other side.
"Good morning."
"If you say so."
"Yeah, I figured as much. Damn you all were loud earlier."
"I'm sorry if we woke you."
"No worries. I was just listening at my door, scared I was going to have to go all ninja badass on that guy if he was the one that hurt you to begin with. Damn, he was huge."
I laughed for the first time in days just picturing Adon jumping on Mike's back.
"What's so funny?"
"I'm sorry. It's not really funny but picturing you trying to fight off Mike would be insane."
"I could take him if I really tried. You haven't seen me in action."
He flexed his sad little muscles in demonstration. I laughed even harder when he interrupted me. "Nothing like killing someone's ego."
"No... I'm sorry... it's just... he's Mike Harrison."
His face contorted into the funniest scared shitless expression I have ever seen.
"Your joking around with me right? That wasn't THE Mike Harrison?"
"The one and only."
"Oh, girl, you are so screwed."
"Nothing I didn't already know but thanks for telling me."
"I didn't mean it like—"
"I know you didn't. So, what can I do for you?"
"Honestly, I just wanted to check in on you and see if you needed anything."
"No, but thanks for asking."
"All right then, I have to get going but if you do need anything, I'm just across the hall."
"I appreciate that."
The next few weeks went about the same. Zoey would ask me to go out with her and her friends and I would refuse. Adon came by every day and each time I thanked him and then closed the door. The only thing that changed was me as the few things I tried to hold together fell apart when parts of my past showed up.
No one could get ahold of me after I trashed my phone and never bothered to replace it, but leave it to Sadie to find a loop hole and tear me to shreds.
Like I had said, weeks had gone by and nothing right? Well, all that changed when Zoey brought a package into her bedroom and threw it on the bed.
"This came for you."
As much as it piqued my interest, nothing should have been coming for me, at least nothing good.
"You open it."
"Marissa! You have to stop doing this to yourself! It's been seven weeks and all you do is lie around. Get up! Life is passing you by."
She picked the package back up and threw it again, this time hitting me in the head.
"Open it your damn self."
And to make her point more clear, she turned and walked back out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Minutes went by before I let myself even turn it over to see who it was from.
I had no idea what Sadie could have wanted me to have. I was positive that everyone hated me for leaving them without a goodbye.
Tearing the package open I found a DVD. Not from a movie we watched together or even one I mentioned I liked. This was an unmarked case with a DVD inside.
I walked out into the family room and put the movie in, nervous as to what it was she wanted me to see so badly.
The first thing I saw were the closest thing to children I ever had. Kaden and Kendal were playing in the backyard of their house without a care in the world. You could tell by their expression that they were untouched. Everything was perfect for them and I envied that more than I can explain.
Sadie opened the back door and panned the camera to the side of the house where Ash stood. He glanced over at her but his smile didn't reach his eyes.
The camera went back to the kids when Kaden noticed he was being filmed.
"Momma, why are you taking a movie?"
"I am making it for Marissa. She hasn't gotten to see you guys in a while and I thought maybe we could send it to her."
"Where is she?"
"Far away, baby."
Kendal came barreling over at the sound of my name and boy was she not happy.
"She promised us a picnic!"
Sadie took in a breath. I could hear it through the microphone and I am pretty sure it was at the same time I sucked one in myself. I had forgotten all about that. Those poor kids. My thoughts were cut off when Ash interrupted and said, "She just had to go take care of some things that were unexpected, guys. She will be back and I know one of the first things she will want to do is come see you."
"Ash, don’t get their hopes up, it’s not fair."
"I'm not giving up on her, Sadie."
Sadie must have hit stop because now I was watching a different day. It looked like Heather and Jason's house and then the camera found a baby.
"Oh my God!"
Zoey came into the room and looked at the TV.
"Who is that?"
"That is the most beautiful baby in the world."
I went back to watching as Sadie zoomed in to her face and said, "Marissa, meet Faith Morgan Harrison."
For the first time she turned the camera around to face her.
"Isn't she precious?"
She turned it back to the baby and I watched as she smiled.
"What are you two doing in here?"
Heather walked in and picked the baby up from her crib. Just seeing her hold her own child had me wiping away tears I hadn't realized were falling.
"I'm making this for Marissa."
Heather's face lit up but then she turned and closed the door to the bedroom.
"I don't want him to hear."
"He could do something about all of this you know."
"She broke his heart Sadie."
"Is that a reason to give up? You never hurt Jason? Because I know I did with Ash. Hell, look at what Tony did to Kate!"
They obviously forgot the camera was on. It was filming the floor but I could still hear everything they were saying.
"When you love someone you don’t give up."
"That's the thing, she doesn't love him anymore."
"You really believe that? Come on!"
The door opened and I saw shoes I would never forget walk into the room. I held my breath, praying Sadie wouldn't move her arm. I couldn't bear seeing his face. Hell, I begged God for the video to stop before I ever heard his voice, but apparently that wasn't a wish he wanted to grant.
"What are you guys yelling about in here? Give me Faith. She doesn't need to hear you two fighting."
"We aren't fighting."
"If you say so, just give her to me."
Heather must have handed over the baby because he said, "That's my pretty girl. Who loves her Uncle Mike? Yes, yes you do."
I reached for the remote and turned it off.
"Why did you do that?"
"I can't hear him. I can't..."
I got up, grabbed my purse and ran out the door. I needed fresh air and to get as far away from the place that video brought me back to as I could.
I found a bar down the street, opened the door and walked in. I hadn't been out of Zoey's apartment at all since the day I got to New York and as soon as the few men sitting at the bar turned to look at me, all I wanted to do was turn around and go back.
"Come have a seat."
Had any one of the guys sitting said it, I would have walked out. But the bartender was a girl about my age and the smile she was wearing gave me the confidence to do as she asked.
I made sure I sat as far away from the other people as possible. By this time my face had completely healed. Well, as good as it was going to get. My left brow bone had to have been crushed like I thought because it literally droops down over my eye, keeping it from being able to open fully. Something I accepted as a scar to remind me of what h
appened and never let me forget.
"What can I get for you, sweetheart?"
I hadn't had a drop of alcohol since that night and I wasn't sure it was a good idea, but something in me wanted to make me forget it all. The fact that as Zoey said, life is going on without me, hurt. The twins looked like they had grown a few inches and just the way they even pronounced their words was better. Heather and Jason were parents. It all just seemed to keep going and I hated myself for missing it.
"Patron, please."
"Have your ID on you?"
I reached down into my purse and pulled out my wallet. I slid my license out and found Mike's room key underneath it. Somehow I forgot I had put it there. I slid the card across the counter and the bartender picked it up and looked at it.
"Wow. You sure do clean up well."
I didn't even care that what she said stung. I'm sure she meant it as a compliment but I only saw it as a reminder of what I used to be.
"Thank you."
I took it and slid it back in my wallet covering the room card once again. I don't know why I didn't just ask her to throw it away. It would have made more sense if what I was trying to do was let him go.
The shot glass was set down in front of me, but only for a second before I threw my head back and slammed it. The disgust I felt after drinking it never stopped me from ordering another. And then another. In fact, I sat there collecting the glasses, not letting the bartender take them from me until there were five. My vision was blurry and I strongly felt the need to vomit when I placed sixty dollars on the counter and walked out without a word.
I did hear "Come again!" from one of the men being a smartass as the door closed behind me, which caused me to break out in a cold sweat. All I wanted was to get back to Zoey's where I felt safe. The street was packed with people, something I didn't take notice of before. I tried my best to walk a straight line and stand tall but I was officially drunk which made it next to impossible. Luckily I didn't have far to go before I was back in the building and climbing the stairs again.
It took forever to get to her floor and when I finally did, I was completely out of breath. I opened the door from the stair well and rounded the corner, only to come face to face with my worst nightmare.
Fighting Fate Page 27
