On Saturday, a little bit before he’d arrive, she kissed her boys, told them to be good for Daddy and went upstairs to her office. Bridgette would handle that exchange for her. Thank God. At night, Mia would have to see him and she had the rest of the day to prepare for that.
Every night, she replayed that entire morning, from her arrival to her departure, still not believing any of it was true. Her husband had cheated on her. He had sex with another woman. How was she supposed to get over that? Could she get over it? The only thing she knew was what would happen if she couldn’t—a divorce.
The thought of doing that didn’t sit right with her. At least not now. They needed to talk but she wasn’t ready for that. She wasn’t even ready to see him, the reason she was hiding in her office.
Sitting at her desk, the one designed and crafted by Tom Myers many years ago, she stared at her laptop, not able to concentrate on the work she’d wanted to get done. She heard Ethan arrive and the boys’ enthusiastic greetings and was still staring at the same page when Bridgette came up to announce that the boys were gone.
“He said he’d return late this evening,” Bridgette informed her.
Mia nodded, feeling a little apprehensive about the upcoming evening and seeing Ethan for the first time since she found out about his affair. She looked up at her nanny and put on a smile. “And I’ll see you on Monday morning. Go enjoy your weekend. Thank you for your help this morning, Bridge, and for cutting short your vacation. You are a life saver.”
“Seriously. It wasn’t a problem,” she replied and with that, she left the room.
“Now what do I do?” she asked herself. She could relax. Yeah, right. That so wasn’t going to happen. After a little internal debate, she decided to go shopping. The boys still needed clothes as did she. She already felt the difference in her pants.
“Stupid hips,” she laughed.
Despite everything going on, she was genuinely happy that she was pregnant again. After being disappointed time and again after the miscarriage. All the trying … it was all she thought about until the night of the one year anniversary of the miscarriage. Then she forgot about trying. Life went on. And now here she was three years later, pregnant without a plan. She was past the nine week mark—the same week as the miscarriage—but she’d feel a whole lot better once she got to twelve. She needed this baby. This really was her last chance. She knew it was physically possible but she didn’t want to be forty-five and pregnant.
She was high-risk enough as is. The doctor hadn’t been happy with her that visit—her weight and then the bruises. She told him she had things under control. He hadn’t believe her. Hell, she didn’t believe it either. Her entire world was crumbling down around her and she had no clue how to fix it. And worst of all, the person she would normally go to for help was the very person who caused all of this to happen.
Grabbing her purse, she walked out to the garage and got in the car, determined to put a huge dent in his bank account today.
Retail therapy.
More like retail revenge.
When she returned home later that evening, Mia was exhausted and had a car full of shopping bags. She’d also bought fried chicken with all the fixings for dinner.
In a food coma, she sat down on the family room sofa and turned on the television. After checking her phone for the hundredth time and seeing no message from Ethan, she put it on the coffee table and then laid out to watch some TV. For the next couple hours, she let the TV distract her—numb her.
Around nine, she heard a noise out back and muted the TV and got up to sneak a peek out the window. That’s when she saw Ethan walking across the patio with a passed out Pierce in his arms. She smiled as he came into the house and brought the sleeping boy up to his room. It had been a long time since she’d been able to carry them like that. The boys were tall like their father and heavy too.
Ethan didn’t look at her when he came back down to get Rory. A man on a mission. A few moments later, he came back through, Rory asleep against his shoulder. Ethan dropped their bag on the kitchen floor as he headed back up the stairs. She watched the doorway, waiting for him to come back down the stairs. Putting a hand to her tummy, she willed the butterflies in there to calm the fuck down.
Her eyes followed him as he walked into the kitchen and picked up the bag he’d dropped. He emptied their cups and put them in the dishwasher then grabbed his phone and wallet from the bag. Running a hand through his hair, he finally made his way down the few steps to the family room and her. He stood behind the chair facing her, gripping and ungripping the back. He seemed as nervous as she felt. It didn’t suit him. She liked his confidence. What did suit him was the couple days of growth on his jaw. He looked hot.
“So, I’ll be out of town for a few days next week,” he spoke and she heard the hesitancy in his beautiful voice.
“Where are you going?”
“Down to South Carolina to visit with Reid.”
“Okay,” she said, curious as to why he was going to visit with the owner of the team during the off-season.
“When are you going to California?” he asked.
“On the twenty-fourth until the twenty-eighth. I’ll have Bree send you the info later this week.”
“When would you prefer I see the boys—before or after you return?”
She grabbed her phone from the coffee table and checked her calendar. She would have to be in Indy the week after she was in L.A. for her twelve week visit. Whoa. Almost out of the first trimester.
“Uh, well, I have to be in Indianapolis the week after I return so if you want, you can see them whenever that week. We are flying into Indy on the twenty-ninth, early morning.”
“Red-eye?”
“Yes. Should be fun with two three-year-olds.”
He chuckled and his laughter sounded beautiful, but at the same time, it hurt. She had missed his laugh, his face, his presence for so long now. “I would like to see them that week. I’ll be starting training camp a couple weeks after the Fourth.”
“Okay. That shouldn’t be a problem.”
He sighed which drew her attention to his face. His normally expressive face looked exhausted.
“Looks like the boys tired you out.”
Ethan lit up with the mention of the boys, his smile wide. “They did. I had such a great time with them today.”
When she saw his exhaustion, her first instinct was to go to him and kiss the tired away. Maybe bring him to the sofa and put his head in her lap and watch TV together, her fingers absently running through his hair. He wasn’t supposed to leave. It surprised her that she wanted him to stay, at least for a little bit.
“Would you like a cup of coffee?”
After a moment of indecision, he smiled gratefully. “That would be great actually.”
Lifting herself off the sofa, she walked past him to the kitchen, breathing in his scent along the way, a scent she’d never forget—strong, clean with just a hint of sweat. If she’d lick him right now, she’d taste that sweat. She’d always liked the saltiness of his skin.
She closed her eyes and swallowed. Down, girl. She quickened her steps as she walked up the few stairs to the kitchen and set about preparing the coffee. He followed her, sitting at the island like he always did when she was in the kitchen, observing, keeping out of her way, but being there with her.
After she was done, she hopped up on the counter by the coffee pot while they waited. His eyes didn’t leave her. A change from earlier when he wouldn’t look at her. She leaned forward a little, relaxing her elbows on her knees, her shirt billowing at the top. When she glanced up, she saw that his expression looked troubled.
Rising from his chair, he walked over to her and didn’t stop until his stomach touched her knees. She closed her eyes as his fingers lightly touched her chest, hovering over the fading bruises.
“Do they hurt?” he asked quietly. She opened her eyes and found his eyes on her face. She could only shake her head because her voice had go
ne missing. They stared into each other’s eyes and she saw up close how his eyes spoke volumes about how he felt—tired, miserable, defeated … regret.
“I’m so sorry, Mia,” he said, his eyes falling from her and closing. His voice strong yet low. Her eyes didn’t leave his face and she felt a mixture of longing and anger at him. She wanted to share the news of her pregnancy—tell him he was going to be a father again. See his joy—a joy she had tried to give him for years. She was mad at him for not letting her tell him—for making a choice that could wreck their family forever. But then she noticed the tears that escaped his beautiful eyes. She lifted her hand but stopped, fighting with herself. She wanted to help him, yet she still was hurt herself. She was mad that she couldn’t comfort him, mad that she questioned every instinct that she’d ever had about him. She was mad at everything, but not the fact that he was there with her. That didn’t make her mad at all.
The coffee machine beeped, announcing it was ready, interrupting her thoughts. She tried to get down to make his coffee but he stopped her by lightly holding her arm. Yet did nothing else. Even so, her body missed his touch. She saw his battle—he didn’t know what to do. Eventually, he leaned his head against hers and she let out a shaky breath.
“I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t know … I didn’t know that I was hurting you. It makes me sick knowing I did that to your body. It makes me sick that I have caused you so much pain. You were right. That was not me.” He kept his head on hers for a few moments before letting her go and backing away. Grabbing a to-go coffee mug from the cabinet, he poured the coffee into it then sealed the cup before he paused. He scratched his forehead and took a deep breath. “Tell the boys I’ll call them tomorrow.”
“Ethan?”
She jumped off the counter and hurried towards him. As if he was afraid, he quickly grabbed his coffee and walked away.
“Thanks for the coffee,” he said and was out the door.
“Ethan!” she called out.
What just happened?
She’d never seen him run from something. What had him in a place that he thought she’d actually sleep with Todd? What was going on with her husband? Where was the insecurity and suspicion coming from? Mia needed to find out.
Mia
Bridgette had gone to bed after putting the exhausted boys to bed. A long day at the zoo would do that to anyone. Mia was bone-tired but she’d take that over morning sickness any day.
Closing the door to her bedroom, she stood there and regarded the empty room. She missed Ethan so much. She missed the comfort he provided, the warmth of cuddling with him in bed, the charming way he used to get her to laugh or smile. She just missed him—missed the way they interacted as a family, the family meals, the never-ending laughter. She hadn’t realized how little she and the boys had laughed lately. Things had been way too quiet.
Even though she missed him, she hated what he’d done. He caused this mess, made her miss all those things. She couldn’t get it out of her head and that infuriated her. Her mind was constantly flooded with questions like where did he and Kristen have sex? Mia needed to know. Did he fuck her at their home?
That pissed her off so much.
Stalking over to the bathroom, she got ready for bed and vowed not to think about this anymore so she could clear her mind and actually attempt sleep. It had been awhile since she got a full night’s rest.
She was hot all the time now and flipped on the fan then curled up in bed. As her head hit the plush pillow, her phone buzzed. She debated not looking at it, but she knew that if she didn’t get it she’d think about it until she couldn’t think of anything else and how would that actually help her sleep? So she picked it up and saw that it was from Ethan and the phone fell and smacked her in the face.
“Fuck!” she exclaimed, rubbing her nose with one hand and with the other, picking her phone back up.
Opening the text, she was surprised to see a picture of her. She knew this picture, her smiling face, head covered in a Chicago Inferno beanie, her cheeks rosy from the frosty temperatures. Wanting to test out his new compact camera, Luke had taken her picture at a football game he’d dragged her to. Just a few months before she first met Ethan. Mia had a feeling that the game may have actually been a Flash game.
How did he have this picture and why did he send it to her? She stared at it for a while before reading the text.
This was the first time I ever saw you. Luke sent me this picture the day before I met you. I was mesmerized by your smile right away.
I still am.
She tried to read the text as detached as she could but she felt the tears come at his words, I still am.
He still had that picture after nine years. Hell, she didn’t have that picture any more. She saved the picture and took a screen shot of the text, but she didn’t respond.
The next night as she sat in bed reading a new history book she’d picked up at the bookstore earlier that day, she received an email from Ethan. She thought about ignoring it but the fact that it could be about the boys made her open it.
From: Ethan
To: Mia
Re: A Memory
June 16, 2015, 11:37 PM
Hi. I can’t sleep. I was staring at where you should be, beside me, wanting nothing more than to hold you in my arms, but you’re not here. And I know that’s my fault. Knowing that doesn’t make it better, just worse.
Anyway, enough of that pity party. I decided to come down to the office and have been looking through past photos and I came across this—the first picture I ever took of you. Look at you. So confident. So beautiful. So damn sexy. Before that show, I was determined to still take things slow. For some stupid reason. Then I saw you perform on stage and I was a goner. Your lyrics, your soul, your heart. I needed you in my life. I needed to remember this moment where you stole my heart. I’m still so amazed how one week, one person could change my life forever. I remember thinking ‘how does this tiny woman have such a strong hold on my heart?’ I still haven’t been able to answer that question. But you do. And you always will.
Love,
Ethan
[1 attachment]
Opening the attachment, she smiled at the picture that popped up. It was from the show in Indy that had changed her life. The week she met Ethan, the week she and her band got discovered. She felt the same way as Ethan—one person, one week changed her life forever.
Mia stared at the picture. Another photo she’d never seen before. She was on stage, playing her acoustic guitar, sitting beside Marty. The picture was mostly of her. Poor Marty was cut off. She wondered what song she was singing. She tried to think back. She could think of at least five possibilities. She wondered if Ethan remembered and then it came to her—“Slow but Sweetly.” It had to be. He loved that song.
With a quick tap, she switched over to her message app and sent him a text. She needed to know for sure.
Ethan
June 17, 2015, 12:10 AM
Slow but Sweetly?
Yes :)
I knew it!
Then why did you ask? ;)
Had to be sure.
I didn’t know you had a picture from that show…I’ve never seen a picture from that night. My only memories of that night are the record deal and you.
Well, now you have one.
What else?
What do you mean?
What else do you have that I don’t know of?
Don’t you have mementos? Things you’ve kept because of the special moment, something you wanted to remember?
I guess.
The things I wanted to remember may be much different than what you wanted.
I wanted to remember that time because it was at that moment I realized my life was forever changed.
Mine too. Thanks for sharing that picture with me.
You’re welcome. :)
She stared at the phone, seeing him still typing and waited. When his text finally hit her screen, the tears hit her eyes and wouldn’t s
top. He’d typed the chorus to “Slow but Sweetly.”
I’m working on me … slow but sweetly.
I will find my way … slow but sweetly.
Baby, I’ll love you … slow but sweetly.
I’ll love you, my dear … endlessly.
Baby, please don’t turn away from me.
Remember I’ll love you … slow but sweetly.
Ethan …
You wrote them. I just used them. ;)
Good night, Mia.
Good night, Ethan.
After reading the email as well as the text conversation a few times, she placed her phone on the nightstand and turned off the light. Two days, two items she didn’t know. She never thought he was one to keep mementos like that. On the flip side, she also didn’t think he’d be the kind of guy to cheat on his wife either. Guess she really didn’t know her husband as well as she thought she did.
A couple mornings later while Mia was relaxing at the table, watching the boys eat their breakfast, another text from Ethan came her way. She glanced at it and frowned a little—no picture. She really had enjoyed those.
Ethan
June 18, 2015 9:35 AM
I know I can’t say “Happy Anniversary.” It’s anything but. I am deeply sorry for that. Our wedding day 4 years ago is still one of the happiest days of my life. You became my wife. I became your husband. I’m sorry I’m doing such a shitty job of that. I had a much different plan that day. It was simple: to make you happy. I want to get back to that plan. I need to. I hope next year I can say “Happy Anniversary” and see you smile because you’re happy.
<3
As she read his text, he sent another message. A picture. She knew this picture. It sat on his desk these past four years. It was from their wedding reception and they were dancing to “At Last.” He had bent down to rest his head upon hers and told her she had just made him the happiest man on the face of the Earth. She couldn’t help but smile back at him. His own smile—so contagious. There was so much happiness and love then. They were so damn happy.
Never Over You Page 27
