She shook her head repeatedly. The thought turned into a visual implanted in her mind’s eye. It wouldn’t leave. Mia visualized Kristen’s long, blonde hair, fanned out on the bed, Ethan hovering above her. She saw him move inside of her, saw Kristen’s hands roaming his back, grasping his ass as he fucked her.
“Oh God! I need to get out of here.”
“Mia! Don’t go!” he yelled from the bed. She bolted down the stairs to the mudroom and searched for the keys to the BMW. She hardly drove it now since she had the kids most of the time and the soft top convertible was extremely impractical when carting the twins around. But Ethan would have the kids this week, so she transferred her bags to the trunk and hurried to get in the car. She’d text him the details of when she was leaving when she got to Luke’s.
She pulled down the long driveway, maybe just a little too recklessly, and sped the short distance to Luke’s. He stood in the garage when she arrived, looking like he just got home from work with his loosened tie and dress shirt. She parked the car behind him and got out. He silently beckoned her to follow him and led her into the kitchen where she caught her fuzzy reflection in the glass cabinets. Her hair was a fright from Ethan’s hands in it, kissing her mouth, making her feel so damn wonderful.
She tried to smooth it down but it didn’t work.
“Welcome back,” Luke said, hugging her. She returned the embrace, squeezing him tight, thankful to be in his supportive arms until he pushed her back, his eyes raking her over. “Oh my God! You had sex!”
“How the hell do you do that?” she asked in lieu of an answer.
“We had a lot of it?” he quipped back.
“Ages ago!”
“Has it been that long?” he asked, momentarily sidetracked.
“Ten years.”
“That’s sad.”
“I’ve known you close to fifteen years. Now that’s sad,” she joked, but reached out and held onto him.
“So you had some face time with him, huh?” he asked with a wink.
She couldn’t help it. She laughed—and hard. It felt good. Her body missed it.
“Yes. I did.”
“And?”
“It was wonderful. Beautiful. Everything it has always been until the end when I let my mind think of where Ethan had sex with Kristen. I was outta there so fast. You’d be proud of me. I did hit him. Dainty fists to his chest, but whatever,” she said, staring off as the tears pooled in her eyes. “It’s been almost a month. It still hurts like the day I found out. I want my husband, Luke, but how can I be with him when I still hurt so much?”
“If you want him, you will figure out a way, Mia. You have to. And you need to talk to him about it. It’s driving you nuts not knowing what happened. Get that from him.”
“That’s gonna hurt to hear.”
“It is,” he agreed. “You’re here until?”
“Sunday.”
“Seven days. Find out.”
Luke was right as he often was. It was time for husband and wife to sit and talk, but not just now.
“First I’m going to take a nap. What time is it anyway?”
“Almost three.”
“Wake me at dinner time.”
“Wait! You’re not cooking?”
“Uh, no. But I will buy.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “That’s cool, too.”
She kissed his cheek and headed up to her room. Maybe sleep would help her sort out her thoughts because right now, her mind was a jumbled mess.
Mia
Mia woke up feeling refreshed, and after pulling her curly mess of hair into an equally messy ponytail, she headed downstairs without a care about changing the clothes she’d slept in.
Mindful to hold the railing, she bounded down the stairs, and headed toward the voices of Luke and Allie. She spied Luke standing behind his wife, who sat on one of the island stools.
“Yeah, she arrived looking quite fucked,” Luke spoke to his wife while he massaged her shoulders. “Literally.”
Allie laughed at that. “So … they had sex?”
Mia took that opportunity to interrupt, wanting them to know she realized they were talking about her. “Yes, we did,” she announced and held in a chuckle as both their heads shot up and their gazes landed on her.
Allie recovered first. “Nice. And?”
Mia shook her head at Allie and smiled. “It was better than nice. At least the sex was. The rest … I’m here not there. That should explain the rest.”
“Mia …”
She closed her eyes and cocked her head to the side. “No. I don’t want to talk about it again. What I want is dinner.”
“Already taken care of,” Luke stated.
“But I was buying.”
“Oh, you did,” Luke said, his eyes landing on his wife. “She hooked me up.”
Mia headed to the fridge to grab something to drink. As she opened the door, she glanced back at Luke. “Just don’t buy any porn with that info.”
Allie barked out a laugh before reining it in.
“I don’t need any more porn. I have the Blu-ray of Burn for You,” he added with a smirk.
Even though she’d appeared naked in that movie, she remained proud of her work in it. Plus she’d looked hot as fuck.
At that, Allie bust out laughing. Mia glared at her and flipped him off. “That’s not porn,” she growled.
“Close enough.”
She grabbed the lemonade and poured herself a glass before she turned to look at her best friend who definitely needed to be put in his place. “You don’t watch that to … you know?” she innocently asked, looking pointedly at his crotch.
Luke huffed in outrage. Allie held up her arms. “Stop it, you two. I swear it’s like having a couple of bickering teenagers here!”
Mia laughed and hopped up on the counter, sipping the lemony drink at the same moment that the doorbell rang.
“Pizza’s here!” Luke announced, leaving to go answer the door. Mia’s stomach grumbled at the thought of having some of that cheesy goodness. She hadn’t eaten all day and hoped Luke ordered more than one pizza because she planned on eating a lot.
While they ate dinner, Allie discussed work, mostly the upcoming shows in Chicago. She wanted the setlist finalized by the end of the week. Mia pulled out her phone, found the note with the songs on it then sent it to Allie.
“There. That’s my setlist,” she spoke to her manager. Then she opened the music app and found the playlist to accompany the setlist and pressed play.
Luke looked over Allie’s shoulder, reading the list on her ever-present iPad. “Trying to send a message, are we?”
“Maybe,” she replied. It hadn’t been her intent, but as she started putting it together, listening to it, she really enjoyed it, knowing it would be a good show. Great even. And if it sent a message, that was even better. She knew that some may see it as a message to Ethan, but actually it was a message to herself. Words to bolster her confidence. That she would be all right.
As she listened to her music, her body automatically moved to it. After performing the songs so often, the moves became second nature to her. Each song had its own dance. Some more than others.
When she returned to Chicago, she and the rest of the band needed to start rehearsing. “I need to get to the studio this week. I have a few new songs that I need to lay down tracks for. Will you be my producer, Allie?”
“Of course,” Allie said, her eyes returning to Mia’s phone. “Three new songs?”
“Yeah … maybe.”
“‘Dyin’ Over You,’ ‘Crumbling,’ and ‘Untitled’?” Allie rattled off the names of the new songs.
“Why ‘Untitled?’” Luke asked.
“It’s an angry song and I haven’t been able to come up with a title yet,” Mia responded.
“How angry?”
“Maybe I should call it ‘Infidelity’?”
Mia wasn’t entirely sure about whether she wanted to perform all of these new songs. But �
��Crumbling” would definitely be in the shows. She needed Ethan to hear it and she needed to tell him.
“This is pushing over two hours … in the middle of July. You’re going to exhaust yourself,” Allie piped up.
“I’ll be fine. I’ll dress appropriately. Drink lots of water. Schedule a pee break … or two,” Mia said with a laugh. Not wanting to talk about the songs anymore, she changed the playlist and went with one of her running lists, full of energetic songs. Her body took a second to warm up, but quickly found the beat to the music.
Allie had her feet up, but Luke danced with her. When the two of them had been younger and sleeping together, they’d danced quite often, the moves sexual. Now the moves were anything but. They were goofing off and laughing the entire time.
“Ugh, how do you even feel like dancing in our condition?” Allie bellowed. “You’re tiring me out.”
“This is a piece of cake compared to the twins,” Mia answered with a final ass bump to Luke.
“Speaking of the twins,” Luke started, sitting down by his wife. “I went to lunch with Ethan last week.”
“What?” Mia asked, shaking her head. “How is that anywhere related to Ethan?”
“He’s their father.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Anyway.”
“Yes, well. It took a bit but I finally decided it was time to try and make up with him.”
“Oh …” She’d told him to do it … yet it made her anxious and she didn’t know why.
“Yeah and we talked.”
Talked? Did she want to know?
Yes, she did. Hearing it from Luke would be so much easier than her husband. Maybe having some little clue would make this upcoming conversation with her husband easier because holy hell, it would be hard.
“About?”
The ringing doorbell interrupted him. “Hold that thought,” he said and excused himself to answer the door. Mia turned the music up a little and danced, needing the beat to distract her from wondering what Luke would have to say.
“I still can’t believe you have all that energy,” Allie commented.
She turned to her friend and smiled. “I also slept most of the day. I’ll be a mess tomorrow for my appointment,” she added, closing her eyes and swaying to the hypnotic beat. At Allie’s loud intake of breath, Mia whipped around to see her husband. Her heart stopped.
“Ethan!” she exclaimed, shocked that he was there, standing in front of her. He took her breath away. Gone was the earlier facial hair, his skin now clean-shaven and he wore a crisp pair of green shorts and a white polo.
“He asked nicely,” Luke said, heading towards his wife.
Ethan took a few steps toward her and stopped. “Can we talk?”
Mia looked at her husband and then at Luke who raised his eyebrows and nodded his head towards the door. Luke was right once again. She needed to hash things out with Ethan, needed answers from him. She had to face some unpleasant truths. That she knew. Might as well just get it done.
Taking a deep breath, she then nodded at her estranged husband. “Yeah.”
From the surprised look on his face, he hadn’t expected her easy acceptance. “Uh, you want to go for a drive?”
“Sure. Just let me run up and get my sweater.”
On her way back down, she paused to take a quick look at herself in the mirror. Whereas he looked fucking hot, Mia was pretty much in her pajamas. For a second, she considered changing her clothes, but he’d seen her at her worst and still loved her. What she wore would make no difference to their talk.
She left her room and galloped down the stairs, hearing their mumbled voices and found Ethan waiting at the bottom of the stairs for her, a small grin upon his face. She felt like a girl coming down the stairs for her prom date, not going to talk to her husband about the future of their relationship.
She said good night to Luke and Allie.
“Be back by curfew,” Luke called out.
She laughed and shook her head in amusement. She started forward and then turned back. “Oh, Allie … can you send the setlist to Marty and get his thoughts?”
“Consider it done,” she said with a happy smirk.
Mia smiled her appreciation and then turned to Ethan. He took her arm and guided her out of the house to their car. That innocent touch had her mind instantly going back to their earlier lovemaking. His touch seriously scrambled her brain.
He got in the car, but didn’t start it, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel, indecision taking away his smile. “I don’t know where to go.”
“I could use some dessert. A shake sounds really good,” her unborn child said speaking for her.
“A shake it is!” he said, starting the car and leaving Luke’s.
The ride was silent as Ethan drove down the dark roads. She didn’t know what to talk about. Small talk didn’t seem appropriate.
“Ethan?”
“Not right now … let me get you that shake first.”
Okay … she’d let that happen. Then she decided to ask about the boys because the silence was killing her. “How were the boys today?”
“They woke up right after you left, but were still pretty tired. They played quietly in the playroom most of the day and it was a piece of cake putting them to bed.”
“Maybe we should tire them out like that more often,” she laughed. Bedtime was always a challenge with those energetic boys.
Out of topics already … so her mind went to the man next to her. Right now, she didn’t hate her husband and that thought made her happy. She may be feeling a little awkward at the moment, may still feel angry, hurt, and scared. Very scared. But what she needed was answers to her questions. Did he not want her? Was she not enough? Is that why he turned to Kristen? What had Mia done? How did their marriage get to a point where cheating happened?
But hate … she didn’t have that.
She felt the car slow down and raised her eyes from the dash that she’d been so focused on.
“What flavor do you want?” Ethan asked, pulling into the drive-thru lane.
“Chocolate banana,” she said automatically. Shit, she thought, wondering if he would put one plus one together. She had him get this exact flavor of shake throughout her last pregnancy—at least once a week, some weeks required two.
“That’s what I thought you’d say,” he said as he pulled up to the speaker to order.
Oooh, he got strawberry. She hoped he’d share some of that. After paying, he got their shakes but held on to hers.
“Uh, my shake …”
“I’ll give this to you only if you promise to, one, listen to me, and two, not get out of the car.”
Damn it! Bribery. She held out her hand for the shake.
“You promise?” he urged again.
“Yes! Give me the shake, please!”
After poking the straw in the hole, she took her first sip and moaned. Chocolate-banana goodness.
Ethan pulled into a parking space and turned the vehicle off. She kept the straw in her mouth, not drinking but not wanting to talk either, nerves keeping her voice captive. She knew she’d get her answers tonight, but would she like them? Would she find out that he didn’t want her? And if she did, how would she take it? Is that why he made her promise not to get out of the car?
That thought scared her. But they’d made love this morning so he obviously wanted her. Physically, but the rest?
When he put his shake down, she knew it was time. She looked out the side mirror, focusing on all the cars going through the drive-thru, trying to calm herself. Even that distraction didn’t stop her heart from pounding in her chest. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. Now that the time was here, she was afraid. This was going to hurt and her body was reacting to that, preparing her to run.
She didn’t want to hurt anymore.
“Mia, can you look at me, please?”
“It’s hard to do that,” she admitted.
“I know, but it’s just me. Focus on th
at … or my hair, my nose. Hell, even my shirt. But I need to see your face.”
She could do this. She could focus on his shirt. Easy. Turning her body to face him, her eyes fixated on the white polo shirt and the perfect way it fit snuggly over his broad chest. She knew what the shirt hid—so did her mind and it decided to show her his strong pecs and his abs, those muscles that always caused her brain to malfunction. Fuck! This is not working, she thought. This was why she needed to stay away until they made a decision about their marriage. All she wanted was to jump him. Not helpful—fun—but totally not what they needed to save their marriage.
“We need to talk about what has happened.”
“We do.”
He nodded his head a few times before stopping, then took up fidgeting with his hands in his lap, toying with his wedding band. That sight hurt. The band that she shakily put on his finger the day they married. The band that had “Always and forever” etched on the inside. The symbol of their forever.
Forever … would that even be possible anymore?
“A couple weeks after you left for Europe, Kristen called me, asking about an interview. After I sat on it for a week, I decided to go ahead with it.”
“Ethan, why did you decide to do the interview?
“Do you remember that Skype conversation we had when Todd walked in on us?”
She nodded. That was one of the hottest Skype sessions they’d ever had—until Todd showed up. Oh shit!
“Yes,” she said quietly.
“You left abruptly when Lang came to get you. You forgot to close down Skype, as did I. I was so pissed off that you had been in his room, pissed off that he interrupted us, and pissed off that he seemed to have a key to your room. Anyway, after spending the afternoon with the boys, I put them to bed and went to my office. I heard your voice come through the speakers and that’s when I realized that Skype was still connected …” he said, letting his sentence hang there, letting her brain start putting the pieces together … Todd, again.
Fuck.
“Todd showed up,” she said quietly, glancing out towards the parking lot.
“Yeah and you were half-dressed.”
Never Over You Page 29
