Return to Sender

by Ashlyn Kane

  “Any other boy and I’d be worried, but not with him.”

  He felt his blush return. He hoped she attributed it to general embarrassment at the topic of conversation and not that he was recalling how he and Jonah hadn’t exactly been careful. He knew condoms weren’t needed for hand-jobs, but Jonah hadn’t used one when he sucked him off. “Good, I guess?” Emerson finally managed to choke out.

  His mother simply laughed at him. “Though I do feel I should express my concern over your alternative lifestyle choice.”

  Emerson stared at her, uncomprehending. She already knew that he was gay, and she had just told him that she wasn’t upset about that.

  “Well, you are dating a vampire, or so it would seem.” She was smirking at him.

  “Oh my God!” Emerson covered his face. “That’s it. I’m never letting Jonah near me again. I already had to listen to Zack’s comments.”

  His mother laughed again. “I knew there was a reason I liked him.”

  §

  EMERSON grabbed his wallet and keys and headed out the door. Though he missed seeing Kierstyn and his mom more frequently than once a week, he really liked not having to leave the house an hour before an event in Austin now that he was living with Zack and Greg. Being able to walk to class and Hang Out was pretty satisfying.

  When it had come time to pack up and move into the townhouse, Emerson had tried to tell his mother he had changed his mind. After all, since Greg’s father was loaded (so much so that Greg was now in his fifth year and getting an additional degree in Geography), the two of them had been able to handle the rent for the three-bedroom just fine, so it wasn’t like they needed Emerson’s help. His mother had refused to let him stay with her and Kierstyn, though. With only Kierstyn to care for, his mom was more than capable of taking care of the store. Besides, she argued, Dad would never forgive her if she let Emerson put his life on hold once again. Walking to Hang Out, Emerson was very grateful she’d kicked him out.

  When Emerson walked into the café, he grinned at the sight of so many familiar faces. He had been so happy to get back to regular meetings and had been surprised at how pleased he was to see Alex the first meeting back. He’d been so happy to hear Alex’s delighted, “Emerson!” and to share stories about their summers.

  After Emerson grabbed his coffee, he sat down next to Alex, who was talking to a cute Asian girl. “Em, this is Surya, she’s a second-year English student.”

  Emerson smiled welcomingly, pleased to meet her. “I’m Emerson.”

  “Em’s an artist,” Alex said.

  “Nice to meet you, Emerson. Alex was just telling me about the last club night you guys had.”

  Emerson grinned. Every few weeks, Hang Out did group nights out to some of the under–twenty-one or eighteen-plus clubs in Austin. Despite being dry, the nights often ended in crazy, outlandish stories.

  He was so caught up in the reminiscing that he was caught off guard when Alex smirked and filled a lull by saying, “So, Emerson, Ben told me last week that he was really disappointed you were taken.”

  Really, he was surprised when he felt himself blushing.

  “So it’s true? You’ve got a new boyfriend?”

  “We got together over the summer.”

  “Well…?” Alex waved a hand, signaling for Emerson to tell more.

  “It’s my friend Jonah.”

  “The infamous pen pal? Congrats, Em,” Alex said with a grin.

  Emerson felt his blush deepen as he realized that the nearby members had turned to look.

  It wasn’t long before they were all listening in and demanding to know everything about the new boyfriend. What was his name? Where did he live? What did he look like? What was he studying? How had he got together with Emerson? And most importantly: when would they get to meet him?

  “Since he’s not going to be in Austin until Christmas: Christmas,” Emerson replied. This was greeted with disappointed moans.

  It was about then that Emerson realized how very much he was enjoying bragging about Jonah, his boyfriend.

  By the time most of the members of Hang Out had trickled out of the cafe, Emerson and Surya were bonding over The Princess Bride.

  “Have you read the book?” Surya asked as they stepped from the coffee shop.

  “Yeah, I read it when I was eleven and didn’t understand half of it, so I had to reread it senior year. Was so glad I did when I realized how much of it I was getting for the first time.”

  Surya nodded. “Oh yeah, I read it last year and was a good fifty pages in before I realized that the abridgements were ironic.”

  Emerson grinned. Oh yeah, it was good to be back in Austin.

  §

  EMERSON picked up on the third ring, and Jonah didn’t bother fighting the tingling rush that went through him at the sound of his voice. God, okay, he should have got over his thing about calling Emerson ages ago. “Hello?”

  “Hey, gorgeous,” he said cheerfully to his ceiling. “Did you miss me?”

  “Jonah!” Jonah smiled. Emerson could never fake that kind of enthusiasm. “You have a phone?”

  Of course Jonah had a phone, now that he didn’t have to worry about falling in love with Emerson every time they spoke. “All I ever needed was the proper motivation,” he teased. He was totally planning on talking Emerson into trying phone sex.

  Naturally, Emerson missed the innuendo entirely. “Oh,” he said, a little shyly but not nearly embarrassedly enough for him to have caught on to Jonah’s train of thought. “So how are you?”

  Well, never mind. Jonah could postpone that part of his agenda. Right now he was happy just to talk to his boyfriend. “Lonely. Tired,” he admitted, realizing as he said it how true it was. “Book signings suck.”

  That, at least, was only partially true. Though Jonah had perhaps had unreasonably high expectations of what a book signing for a first-time author might be like. Mostly, people hadn’t had any idea what his book was about or that he even existed, though a few had stuck around for a reading and some more had browsed around the book store and come around later for a signature and some small talk. Still, it hadn’t exactly lived up to what Jonah had built it up to in his mind, despite his best attempts not to get his hopes up.

  Emerson wasn’t having any of it. “Aw, my poor, successful baby. Just remember, each signature is another person reading your book.”

  True. And just holding a physical copy of the finished product was kind of its own reward. But Jonah was still disappointed and not above pouting until Emerson made him feel better. “It’s not like it was that busy.” He paused and seriously thought about it. “Mostly it was really awkward.” Trying to talk to a bunch of strangers about a book he’d sweated over for months that they’d never heard of—yeah, Jonah was good with people, but not that good.

  “Still, you wrote a book and had a book signing. That’s… incredible, Jonah.”

  Okay, that was enough ego stroking for one day. “It’s pretty cool,” Jonah admitted. Hell, he was only twenty. There was lots of time for fortune and fame yet. “So… you want to celebrate with me?”

  Clearly he and Emerson were going to have to have a talk if Emerson couldn’t even figure out when Jonah was using a line on him. “Sure,” he said, sounding confused, “but won’t it be kind of difficult when I’m 1700 miles away?”

  “Not that hard,” Jonah said with an audible leer. “You just have to use your imagination.”

  “Um. What?”

  Damn, that must have been too subtle. “Did I mention that I miss you?” Jonah tried.

  Emerson’s voice softened. Maybe he was finally getting it. “I miss you, too, you know.”

  “Great!” Jonah exclaimed. He was frankly amazed that it had been that easy, come to think of it. “So you’ll do it?”

  “Do what?” Damn it! “Jonah…?”

  Oh well, might as well just go for it. Jonah let some of the sexual tension he was feeling seep into his voice. “Unzip your fly, Emerson.”


  “What!?” Emerson yelped. “Jonah! You can’t be serious!”

  “I am dead serious, Emerson.” And also really fucking horny. “Come on. It’ll be hot!” Emerson’s little outburst had reminded him of the kinds of noises Emerson had made when Jonah had had his dick in his mouth—not that Jonah was likely to forget that any time soon.

  “I am not going to—do… that.”

  God, he couldn’t even say it. Things were not looking good for Jonah’s phone sex plan. Jonah pouted a little, though if he were honest with himself, he hadn’t actually expected Emerson to give in on the first try. He had the not-so-sneaking suspicion that Emerson might not be as experienced as his drunken correspondence might have implied. “Why not?”

  “Because… because… I’m not!”

  That was illuminating. Jonah quirked his lips. Well, if Emerson wasn’t going to give him any new jerk-off material, Jonah would just have to amuse himself another way. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he teased, his voice as serious as he could make it given the circumstances. “I have seen you naked, you know.”

  “Oh, Jesus,” Emerson said in a mortified whisper. “Jonah, I’m not—it’s different when you’re actually there.”

  Okay, this was getting borderline cruel. Guiltily, Jonah said, “Alright, Em, relax. I shouldn’t have sprung that on you. Sorry.” Not sorry enough not to do it again at some later date, but at least Emerson would probably see that coming.

  “Just… can we talk about something that doesn’t have to do with sex?”

  That reminded him—they were overdue for some serious conversations. “We’re going to have to talk about it eventually, you know. But yeah, we can talk about something else for now. How are things in the townhouse? Settling in okay?”

  Emerson had been torn on the issue of moving in with Zack and Greg even before his father had died, Jonah knew, but his mother had insisted that she could do fine without him, that he needed to experience living on his own.

  “Good,” Emerson answered. “It’s nice having my own bed here now, since I pretty much lived here last year. Zack has a tendency to kick in his sleep.”

  And just like that, Jonah’s brain was back to sex again. “Emerson, if you’re trying to keep my mind out of the gutter, mentioning your bed is not the way to go.” He paused, considering. “Also, if you ever find yourself sharing a bed with Zack again, please feel free not to let me know.”

  Spluttering, Emerson defended, “Zack has a queen! And it’s not as lumpy as the couch!” Jonah could almost see the blushing pout. “Also, you’re impossible. I talk about sleeping and you… infer things.”

  Jonah rolled his eyes. “If I told you I was in bed right now, what would you think about?”

  “That you were tired?” Emerson offered stubbornly.

  The kicker of it all was that it probably wasn’t even a lie. “I can see that I have my work cut out for me,” Jonah teased. “But never mind. Anxious for classes to start up again?”

  “Yeah, I just got my studio assignment. Eve’s pretty excited. We’re right next to each other.”

  Jonah grinned. “I bet you can’t wait to critique the inevitable vagina triptych.”

  Emerson’s groan filtered down the line. “I’m more worried about the effect she’ll have on my productivity. She’s very… distracting.”

  “I’m sure you’ll manage fine.”

  “I suppose. How about you? Excited?”

  “Yeah, and nervous, I guess,” Jonah admitted. “I feel like that kid who got held back a couple of times, you know?”

  “Why?” Emerson asked. “Because you’ll be older? You’re not going to be the only older student, you know. Also, bet you most of them don’t have a book published.”

  “Yeah, but that just gives me more to worry about,” Jonah said. “What if it sucks?”

  “Jonah,” Emerson said patiently. “It doesn’t suck. In fact, it’s the opposite of suck. I read it in two days, and not because you wrote it.

  Well, that was true, but…. “You threatened not to talk to me for a week when you finished it!”

  “Because you made me cry!” Emerson exclaimed. “That’s a good thing, Jonah. It means I cared about the characters. That doesn’t happen when it sucks.”

  Jonah blushed, which surprised him. He hated feeling like he was fishing for compliments. On the other hand, well. Sometimes it felt like Emerson’s opinion was the only one that mattered. To cover his embarrassment, he improvised, “I dunno, the first couple pages of Twilight made me want to cry.”

  Emerson snorted. “Crying because it’s bad and crying because the characters move you are two different things.”

  “Okay, okay,” Jonah conceded hastily. He was having a hard enough time not Googling himself as it was. “Let’s talk about you again before my ego explodes.”

  “Point,” Emerson said with a huff of a laugh. “I really should be more cautious about feeding your ego.”

  “At least until my first B minus.”

  Emerson laughed again. “Well, I really don’t think—”

  “Emma?” Jonah heard Zack’s voice in the background. “Where the hell are you? It’s time to go.”

  “Damn,” Emerson muttered. “Zack is bellowing. They’ve got a show tonight, and I promised I’d go, and they’ve got to leave soon….”

  It was easy not to be hurt, less so not to be disappointed. “It’s alright, Em. It’s not like we had an appointment or anything. I just wanted to hear your voice. I’ll e-mail you my new number, okay? And you can call me whenever you want.”

  “Okay,” Emerson said reluctantly. “Just… you know I’d rather stay and talk. I really do miss you.”

  “I miss you too,” Jonah said lowly. “Hey, only four more months ’til Christmas, right? Now go have fun. I love you.”

  “Right. Four months,” Emerson echoed. “And I—I know.”

  Perhaps surprisingly, it was easier not to be disappointed by that response. Emerson had been in love with him for years, if Jonah was any judge, and Jonah had been kind of a horrible person to have a crush on until very recently. If Emerson wanted to make him wait, well, Jonah had nothing but time. “Good!” he said. “Now get going before Zack leaves without you.”

  §

  “EVER wonder what’s actually in beef jerky?”

  Jonah plucked a stick of beef jerky off the rack on the counter and brandished it at Emerson playfully before giving it a few experimental shakes. Emerson watched the show with amusement.

  “Um, no?”

  Jonah flipped the package over and started to read out the ingredients. “Beef—okay, that’s not surprising. Worchester sauce, salt, again, not very surprising. Soy sauce. You know, this isn’t nearly as bad as I thought. I mean, it’s not high in food value, but—well, there is a whole lot of salt. Twenty percent of your daily intake? Sheesh.”

  Emerson stared at his boyfriend. “Why are you worrying about the nutritional value of beef jerky? You never eat the stuff,” Emerson pointed out. Jonah hadn’t touched beef jerky since he ate four sticks before he got the flu when he was ten.

  “I am concerned for the well-being of your patrons!” Jonah said, looking indignant.

  Emerson quelled the urge to quirk his lips as he attempted to give Jonah a look that was both serious and dubious. “Right. The well-being of my patrons. And it has nothing to do with you just being bored?”

  “Me? Bored?” Jonah arched his eyebrows. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He tossed the beef jerky in the air a few times and then dropped it back into the bucket.

  “You know, you might find something more entertaining somewhere else,” Emerson pointed out kindly. “You don’t have to stay here.”

  “But what if I want to stay here?” Jonah smiled. He had his elbows on the counter and was leaning across the space. “See, I could go somewhere else, but nowhere else comes with a boyfriend.”

  “Oh?” Emerson asked, leaning over the counter himself. Jonah’s
eyes were dancing; Emerson wanted to kiss him.

  “Yeah. See, right here comes complete with eye candy.” His tone was somber. “Here I get to watch a cute guy serve customers, or even better, get to see his really hot ass every time he goes to find something on a shelf.”

  Emerson felt his face heat up. “Oh you do, do you?”

  “Oh, yeah. My boyfriend is super hot and very sexy.”

  Suddenly, Emerson realized that their faces were very close. He had slowly been drifting forward as Jonah spoke, responding in kind to the way that Jonah’s face had been tilting up. A few more inches, and they’d be able to kiss. “You ever going to tell him that?”

  “Hm, maybe. Probably shouldn’t, though. His ego is huge, and it would all go to his head.”

  Emerson tried to play along, attempting a glare, but he was smiling a bit too much. “That’s not very nice.”

  “No?” Jonah murmured. “Maybe I should tell him anyway, then. About how gorgeous he is and how he’s been driving me crazy all day.”

  Their lips were almost touching at this point. And when Jonah finished that last sentence, Emerson tipped his face forward to place a loving kiss on Jonah’s mouth. “Lunatic,” he muttered against Jonah’s lips.

  “Lunatic? Is that a nice thing to call your boyfriend?” Jonah demanded, pulling back, his face once again filled with mock outrage.

  Emerson didn’t even try to stifle the grin. “Only if it’s appropriate.”

  “Are you suggesting that I’m not sane? I’ll have you know, I’m so sane that I make sane people jealous of my saneness.”

  He blinked at that. “Your saneness? You mean ‘sanity’, Mr. Big Shot Author? And speaking as someone who’s sane, I’m not feeling jealous.”

  “Ha! You’re not jealous because you’re not sane!”

  Emerson forced his lips into a pout. “Am too!”

  “Are not!” Jonah let out a delighted cackle. “You are crazy! Crazy about me!”

  “Oh my God, that was terrible. Absolutely terrible. I can’t believe you made such a terrible pun,” Emerson said, his voice filled with uncontrolled laughter.