by Alice Raine
Savannah seemed flustered and rushed when I arrived at the set an hour later. She plonked me in a corner and disappeared almost immediately to prepare for filming, promising that we would get a coffee together afterwards. That was fine by me, I’d much rather sit on my own and watch Sean in action than make small talk with a woman I didn’t particularly like.
Pulling out my phone, I was about to send Sean a text telling him I was here when I paused. Would that put him off his game? If he knew I was somewhere behind the scenes, it might well make him nervous. I knew it would affect me if things were the other way around, so I switched my phone off and stashed it back in my bag instead.
Tucking my stool back into the corner so I could lean on the wall, I relaxed back and absorbed the action going on around me. Filming hadn’t started yet and I couldn’t see Sean or Savannah anywhere, but the studio was busy with people rushing to and fro, cameras being shifted along tracks, and a general feeling of anticipation hung in the air.
I’d done a behind the scenes tour of a local television studio in the UK with my class when I was a teacher, but this was different. It was live and real, and the excitement was tangible and thrilling to the point where the hairs on my arms were standing up in expectation.
I felt a subtle shift in the air around me and I got a familiar warm sensation on my skin. Sean. The reaction in my body told me he was somewhere nearby, but it was still a second or so until I could locate where he was.
As my eyes searched the space I suddenly saw him across the stage talking to another man, their eyes intently focused on a clipboard before them. As was always the case, my heart gave a little kick of joy at the sight of Sean and I felt a familiar tightening of desire in my belly. Dressed in navy trousers, a matching polo shirt with a police logo on the chest, and chunky boots, he was already in his uniform for the show, and boy, did he look hot.
Really flipping hot. And all mine.
A smirk curled my lips as I secretly ogled him, absorbing every little detail into my memory banks. Yep, that outfit was gorgeous. And so was my man. He could arrest me any day of the week. In fact, seeing as our recent midnight intruder role play had gone so well, maybe I’d ask him to bring that outfit home so we could play an X-rated version of cops and robbers.
It felt strange watching him. Illicit and oddly arousing, especially because nobody else in the room was aware that we were together. Apart from Savannah, of course, but I dismissed that thought with a grunt – I was attempting not to think about her at all.
Yeah, this secret relationship with Sean was actually quite exhilarating when I thought about it. The sensation of illegality added an exciting edge to it. There was nothing quite like an element of sneaking something forbidden to ramp up the lust levels, that was for sure.
Suddenly, things got going. A director called the actors to the set and I watched as the lighting subtly altered and cameras turned on. As Sean, Savannah, and two other men took their positions on the set, a hush of anticipation fell over the room, and then somebody snapped a black and white clapper board which said scene 5, take 1. Huh, I’d thought those things were just a joke.
Sean had such stage presence that he dominated the scene with ease. Even when he wasn’t the one speaking I found my eyes were glued to him. Mind you, I supposed I might have been just a tiny bit biased. I was so engrossed in the action that I found myself often holding my breath and having to quickly suck in a gasp of air when the tension on set eased.
Obviously, I hadn’t seen what had led up to this scene, so I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but the actors seemed to be involved in an argument about some evidence which had been lost, and to my glee, the focus of their ire was Savannah. Ha! Sean got to yell at her, and best of all, I could watch. It was ridiculous quite how much that pleased me, even though it was fake.
The two other detectives shouted one final curse and then stormed off the stage, leaving just Sean and Savannah on the stage. Sean was bristling with annoyance, pacing back and forth like a prowling tiger, and gosh, did he act it well. He really did look furious, so much so in fact that it had made the hairs on my arms stand on end. Mind you, so did Savannah. I might not be her number one fan, but it was clear she was a very good actress.
Stalking towards her, the argument continued until suddenly, to my utter horror, the two of them came together in a clashing of lips and limbs as their argumentative anger turned to a sudden explosion of heated lust.
Oh. My. God.
They were kissing the hell out of each other and it was like all of my nightmares coming true. Their hands were all over each other, her red, glossy nails digging into his shoulders as moans of pleasure left her lips.
The worst thing was they actually looked good together. There was obvious chemistry between them, plus, they were both stunningly good-looking, tanned, and perfectly preened. Ugh. She was literally everything I wasn’t.
Annoyingly, Sean seemed just as into it as she was, but was apparently using his character’s anger to drive his lust, as he regularly cursed or muttered heated things to her that I couldn’t hear. Or perhaps I was just blocking them out, who knew?
Suddenly, I was reminded of the night Sean and I had argued at the art gallery and then made up over a round of spectacular angry sex. When I arrived back at the hotel that night I’d found Sean in my bed, furious and horny and hell bent on sexing me silly until I apologised. The more I watched, the more I realised that this scene was just like that night. Angry, hot, lusty sex, and I was suddenly so filled with jealousy that I very nearly launched myself from my seat to attack Savannah. Or perhaps Sean. I couldn’t decide who most deserved a slap.
Breathe. Breathe.
This is just his job. It’s fake. It. Is. Fake.
But no matter how many times I repeated those three words, nothing could distract me from the very real evidence in front of me that said otherwise. Sean and Savannah were still almost violently lip-locked and her fingers were now attempting to pull his shirt from his trousers. Clinging to the edge of my chair to stop myself moving, I swallowed down the hot bile that rose up my throat and only just managed to hold back from throwing up there and then.
I felt trapped and utterly helpless. I’d been told I couldn’t leave the stage during live filming, and that I had to stay still and quiet until someone shouted ‘cut’, but literally all I wanted to do was run away. Far, far away from this claustrophobic room.
Sucking in several breaths, I tried to calm myself before I did something stupid like wail out my misery and cause everyone to turn and look at me, but it was difficult. So fucking difficult. Jesus. I thought I would actually puke if they carried on for much longer. Or faint. Although, actually, being unconscious was far more preferable to having to sit here and witness all of this.
Suddenly, I heard the word I had been praying for. ‘Cut.’
Immediately, I watched as Savannah leant back from Sean marginally, her eyes seeking mine instantly as she flashed me a devious smirk and proceeded to trail her fingers down his arms until they rested on his arse.
As I sat in shock watching her it suddenly all became clear.
The fucking bitch had done this on purpose! Her phone calls, flowers, and text messages had been to lull me into a false sense of security so she could lure me down here today. She must have been planning this for ages, the fucking bitch. She must have learnt that they were filming this scene today and she’d wanted me to witness it so she’d invited me under the pretence of an apology. She’d never had any intention of making up with me. She just wanted to rub this in my face.
And boy had she succeeded. Even if Sean wasn’t sleeping with Savannah, she had made it perfectly clear that she would still regularly get to kiss him and put her skinny hands all over him.
My head was in such a mess, I couldn’t process which emotion to feel first, jealousy was ripping my chest apart, anger surging through me towards Savannah and her childish trickery, betrayal at Sean for not telling me he was going to be
doing this, and irritation at myself for not realising that kissing her would be part of his bloody annoying job. Ugh, it was enough to make me dizzy.
Savannah briefly rested her chin on Sean’s shoulder, her eyes linked with mine while her hands continued to grip him purposefully. The fact that he shoved her off a second later didn’t matter to me; Savannah’s intent was clear in her stare – ‘I don’t lose.’
Rather abruptly, my complete normalness hit me like a sucker punch as I stared at Savannah and watched her strut away, her hips swaying seductively. How could I compete with that? Apart from her puffy lips, Savannah definitely fell in the category of ‘sex on legs’ and could surely bag any man she wanted … but could she bag Sean again? More to the point, did I want to be the poor sap stuck in the middle while she tried?
I was standing in a fairly quiet spot now, the crew had moved away for a break and Sean turned, spotted me, did a double take, and then a broad grin split on his face as he walked my way. ‘Well, I certainly didn’t expect to see you today. What a nice surprise,’ he said, grabbing a bottle of water.
I was still stunned from the depths that Savannah had sunk to and watched him frown as he got closer and took in my pale-faced expression. ‘What’s up, my gorgeous girl?’ he asked, and I noticed bitterly how he was careful to lower his voice so those nearby didn’t hear his affectionate term.
I finally found my voice, albeit falteringly. ‘I … uh, that was horrible, watching you … kiss her and grab her … I feel sick.’ To my amazement, my words seemed to fall completely on deaf ears. Sean just shrugged it off and swigged his water, seemingly oblivious of how it might be from the other side of the camera, and clearly didn’t understand my annoyance at all, which only served to wind me up further.
‘It's my job, it doesn't mean anything,’ he said dismissively with a casual shrug and a playful grin, but his attempt to lighten the mood merely acted to rub me the wrong way and I felt my eyes flare indignantly.
‘Don't you dare laugh at me! It’s not a matter of comedy, I'm serious, Sean.’ I ran a hand through my hair in agitation, hating how much I was trembling, and shook my head. ‘I think I was right at the beginning, I'm not sure I can deal with all this.’ Staring at the ground, I fidgeted nervously, unable to clear the image of him and Savannah from my mind as it burrowed into my brain like a poisonous worm.
‘All what?’ Sean said, exasperated by the drama that was appearing from nowhere.
‘It was like watching you cheat on me.’ My gaze drifted across his face and I saw his expression change as my concerns finally seemed to hit home. ‘It made me feel physically sick. I hated it … I can’t believe you have to kiss her like that.’
‘You must have known that kissing was involved in the show though,’ Sean pointed out in an increasingly panicked tone.
‘No!’ Huffing out a sharp breath, I shook my head. ‘I told you I’d never seen the series, Sean. I thought you were in a police drama, not some steamy X-rated show.’ How I wished I had seen LA Blue now, at least I would have been a bit more prepared. God, I felt so naïve it was untrue. Not to mention let down. He should have told me.
‘Do you have to do that often? Kiss her? Touch her?’
Swallowing hard, Sean shoved his hands in his pockets then nodded slowly and in response my eyes squeezed shut at the flurry of images invading my brain. So when he came to see me straight from filming and kissed me, there was a high chance he’d recently been kissing her? ‘Fuck, Sean. I feel really betrayed. This is nuts. You should have told me.’
‘I see that now. I’m so sorry …’
Sorry wasn’t going to erase the images from my head. ‘I’m not sure I’m cut out to date a famous person,’ I murmured. ‘This is your job, I get that, and maybe you didn’t realise how much it would upset me, but it really has. The differences between us are just so clear now …’ I finished in a whisper.
‘Sean, we need you back on set now,’ someone called from behind him, but Sean ignored him, his gaze locked on mine now.
‘Just give me five minutes,’ Sean tossed back over his shoulder without even giving the director a glance. Having finally registered my distressed expression it seemed I well and truly had his attention now.
‘Look, you're needed back on set and I need a little time to have a think, Sean. I'll speak to you later,’ I mumbled as I turned for the exit and started to leave without even glancing at him.
‘Sean, now, please?’ This time a man I recognised was calling for Sean, Finlay James, the director and all-round Hollywood hotshot, obviously agitated by Sean’s continuing absence.
I was nearly at the exit, but behind me I heard Sean yelling, ‘I said I need five minutes. You'll have to wait.’ The next second my ears filled with the distinct sound of shoes hitting the concrete floor at a fast pace.
He was coming after me.
THIRTY-ONE
Allie
With tears now burning at the back of my eyes, I reached out and hastily shoved down on the exit door bar. I could hear Sean calling after me, but had no intention of stopping, not with Savannah around to watch my misery and soak it up like a sick, pity-loving sponge.
Making my break for freedom, the studio door swung open under my hand but I staggered backwards as the bright midday sun hit my eyes like the scorch of a laser, temporarily blinding me.
‘Bloody hell!’ I exclaimed, clutching at my eyes. Desperately shielding them, I trudged on sightlessly, determined not to give Sean chance to catch up.
Unfortunately, years of working on television sets seemed to have trained Sean in the art of successfully leaving a dark studio without causing permanent eye damage, because I caught a glimpse of him as he came charging through the door with his hand already raised to shield his eyes. With five large strides he was level with me and caught hold of my hand.
‘Allie, wait, please,’ he begged.
‘Sean, please …’ I wasn’t entirely sure what I was pleading for as I rubbed my eyes with my free hand, trying to simultaneously regain my sight and wipe away the spilling tears. At my plea, Sean's hand dropped and when I could finally see through the sun blindness I watched as his shoulders slumped in defeat. ‘At least let’s talk about this,’ he begged.
‘We will talk, Sean, but later, somewhere private. If you want to talk to anyone right now, I suggest you have a word with your jealous ex and tell her to sort herself out,’ I muttered, crossing my arms and trying to calm my thundering pulse.
‘What? Who?’
I hissed her name like a curse. ‘Savannah.’
‘Savannah? What on earth are you talking about?’ he said with a further frown.
‘She phoned me this morning, all nice and friendly and persuaded me to come to the set and watch you filming. She said you desperately wanted me here to watch what you do.’ I paused to drag in a breath and run a swipe of my knuckles across my wet cheeks. ‘But do you know what? She knew you were doing a kissing scene and she knew it would drive me bonkers. I bet she was secretly hoping it would bring me to my senses so I'd finish with you so she could make her move again.’ I huffed out an agitated breath and slammed my hands on my hips. ‘I told you she wasn’t over you, Sean.’
‘Savannah did that?’ he whispered, anger bubbling just below the surface of his voice, and I jerkily nodded my response.
Then, right on cue, the studio door flew open again and the subject of our conversation appeared in the sunlight. My eyes narrowed as I watched her overly seductive walk coming toward us. Savannah fucking Hilton. I hated her more than I could ever have thought possible.
‘Sean, darrrrling, we need you back inside to carry on our love scene,’ she purred, acting as if butter wouldn’t melt. Her gaze slid across to me and she put on a very decent impression of mock concern. ‘Allie, you look upset, whatever is the matter? Aren’t you enjoying the filming?’
In reply, I spluttered. Yep, spluttered. I was so shocked by the lengths she would go to that I was struck speechless.
; ‘Savannah, what the fuck have you been playing at this time?’ Sean growled, crossing his arms and turning a glare on his co-star.
‘Me? I haven’t done anything. I just thought Allie might enjoy coming down to watch us filming together. I didn’t know we’d be kissing. We’re so good together on set, don’t you think?’
Thankfully I was saved from answering her ridiculous question by Sean’s erupting anger. ‘Enough, Savannah. We’ve had the scripts for weeks. Apologise to Allie right now, then stay the fuck away from her.’
In the blink of an eye, her mock concern was gone and replaced with a look that could only be described as bitter hatred. Her previous prettiness vanished, contorting into ugly bared teeth and squinty eyes as she flung her hair back and sniffed disdainfully.
‘I’m not apologising for anything,’ she replied with a scoff. ‘It’s not my fault if she’s jealous about what a great couple you and I make.’ As she finished speaking Savannah slid one arm around Sean’s back and rubbed the other lovingly across his chest in a gesture far too intimate for mere friends.
Sean was tutting his annoyance and pushing her away, but something inside me snapped. Perhaps it was finally my sanity giving way, I wasn’t sure, but her overly familiar gesture was the final trigger I needed to launch myself forwards with a shriek.
‘Get your fucking hands off him!’ I had lost all dignity, but I didn’t care, and before I had even processed what I was doing, I found my right hand rearing back and then delivering a heavy slap across her perfect, cosmetically-enhanced face. Fuck me that had been incredibly hard.
Not to mention incredibly satisfying.
Savannah’s head snapped sideways, causing her to stagger away from Sean on her high heels, clutching at her cheek and letting out a high, whiny sob like a dog that had been accidentally kicked.
Sucking in a long, shocked breath, I glanced down at my stinging palm to find it almost as red as Savannah’s glowing cheek and the sight caused reality to slowly sink back in. I’d hit her. Oops. I’d never been prone to violence before, but Savannah had brought out my inner fighter.
