by Tammy Knight
“Oh, yeah, sure. I’m the pathetic one. Go screw some of the scum that frequents your bar. I’m sure they won’t give you any trouble,” Jamie hissed out. Tom barked out a laugh, patting Jamie on the head before turning towards the door.
“Please, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re not the number one scumbag. Be realistic. At least the other wolves that frequent my bar have actual jobs. Not that you would understand the concept of providing for yourself. You know what? I’m feeling generous. Why don’t you keep that bottle of wine, so you can drown your sorrows in style? After all, you’re in for the shock of your life when you see your little omega next. Enjoy the high life while you can,” Tom called over his shoulder as he made his way to the door. Jamie stared after him until he was out the door, closing it behind him with a slam. Though the younger alpha had no idea what was going on in Craig’s life, if Tom was to be trusted, he wasn’t going to like it. He gritted his teeth, flipping the one finger salute to the door that the bartender had just exited from.
“I don’t need him. I don’t need anyone. Especially not Craig,” Jamie tried to reassure himself, though it fell somewhat flat as he made his way into his room and stared at the bed where he and Craig had made love. He wanted to dismiss it as simple sex, but things were hardly ever that easy. He crept towards his bed, staring at his unwashed sheets. It was filthy, disgusting even, but he couldn’t bear to wash away the scent of the other man. He couldn’t stand to lose what little piece of Craig Lee that remained in his life. He was vaguely grateful that Tom had decided to leave the bottle of wine as he slipped between the sheets of his bed. He buried his face in his pillow, trying desperately to ignore the tears that trailed down his cheeks. He could do this. He didn’t need Tom or Craig or anyone else to get through his life. He had spent so much time alone, he should have been more than used to solitude at that point. He wasn’t going to be a sissy. He would never cry over some omega who he had… just happened to spill his load inside.
He inhaled deeply through his nose, savoring the scent of the omega he loved--the one person in his life that proved to be irreplaceable. Craig’s scent was as sweet as it had always been, and it was almost as if he could picture the omega’s form lying beside him in bed--or better yet, lying underneath him. Perhaps he was as pathetic as everyone seemed to think. Maybe he truly was the worst of the worst. He was no better than the scum on the bottom of Craig’s shoe, and he had been foolish to ever entertain the thought that he could be something more. He was a fool. A useless, worthless fool.
It was his burden to carry, but it wasn’t a burden he would carry for long. He no longer had a beautiful omega male to talk sense into him. He no longer had anything beyond his callous lifestyle, taking care of himself first and no one else…he wasn’t going to go down in history as the worst thing to happen to Craig Lee. He wouldn’t go down as some fool who had loved and lost--he would never be reminded of his silly infatuation ever again. This was the beginning of a new era, and Jamie Briggs was going to be a new man. Or, moreover, he was going to be the man he had always wanted to be. Fire blazed in his heart and mind from the back of his eyeballs as he realized what he had to do. Craig might have been able to talk about it, but the Craig he knew was dead--as much as that thought pained him to consider. No one in this town needed him, just like his parents had never needed him, like none of the foster families had ever needed him. He wasn’t going to go down in mediocrity like everyone seemed to expect.
Rolling over in his bed, he stared at the wall where he had taped up the map of the city. His eyes fell upon the post office, and his mind went to the insidious thoughts he’d entertained regarding that very building. No, he wouldn’t go down as some meaningless scum. He wouldn’t live his life as the scourge of his love’s life. He had bigger plans, much bigger and better plans. He was going to go through with his plot, whether Craig was going to be with him throughout it or not. He was going to burn down the post office, and no one was going to stop him.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Craig made a face as he tightened his jacket around himself, trying to obscure the bit of pudge that had grown on his gut. He ignored the eyes upon him as he shuffled through the general store where he planned to buy the test that would seal his fate--one way or another. He didn’t want to consider what his father would say if he was truly carrying, didn’t want to consider what he would do with the rest of his life if he ended up homeless with a pup that he couldn’t even take care of. He had almost come to terms with the fact that he would be slaying the life inside of him, though the thought still sent an ache deep through his core. He wanted, more than anything, not to spend the time he was spending imagining his child--what it would like to be a father. He could never raise a child alone. He couldn’t even entertain the thought. His father wouldn’t help him, and as far as Jamie was concerned, he no longer existed. It was a bit of a struggle to come to terms with: the idea that the alpha male he adored would no longer give him the time of day. He truly wasn’t sure what he had done wrong.
Perhaps his fatal flaw had been falling for the young alpha in the first place. He had truly felt alive in Jamie’s presence, but now he felt nothing but emptiness broiling inside of him-- emptiness and the unfortunate fulfilment of carrying a deadbeat alpha’s pup. It was supposed to be an omega’s dream to carry a litter, whether it be one pup or a half dozen. Though he was relatively certain he was carrying, especially if the extra meat he carried on his gut was any indication, he could still only entertain the thought that he had some semblance of hope left in his life. It was only a matter of time before he was kicked out of his father’s home--the place he had called home since he was little more than a pup himself.
Shaking off the thought of his seemingly fruitless future, Craig sighed as he glanced over the selection of pregnancy tests he had to choose from. If he were honest with himself, he should have purchased one ages ago. Past his first missed cycle, hell, a few scarce weeks after the cycle when he’d been properly mated---he should have thought to check. He was too afraid, unfortunately. He should have dealt with this whole thing months ago, but he had wanted to be sure. He had prayed for the gods to give him a sign that he wasn’t truly carrying. He had wished and longed for any hope of carrying on a normal life beyond this pregnancy test: the one he gripped in his palm as he contemplated his future. He couldn’t shoulder his burden on anyone else. It was the last thing he wanted to ever do. He just wanted to be a normal omega--with a normal mate, and a normal life. It didn’t seem so much to ask, but apparently, he didn’t realize how much he was pleading for.
He’d never expected things to work out with Jamie. He’d never deluded himself quite to that extent. He knew Jamie wasn’t the type to settle down with anyone, let alone his best pal. He had just hoped it would be enough to be in Jamie’s life. He’d prayed that it would be enough to walk alongside the alpha in all his ridiculous plans. He hadn’t planned to follow through with the idea of burning down the post office. He hadn’t planned to follow through with any of Jamie’s ideas. He had just hoped it would be enough to hear the other male out.
He had been wrong, but it had been a nice thought to entertain. For the time being, he had to focus on his own life. If nothing else, he had to buy this pregnancy test and find out where he was going from here. If he was carrying, he would need to find an apartment--make enough money to get by while he was on leave. He had no one else to help support him. It was just himself, alone in the big, sad world. He wasn’t one to feel sorry for himself by any means, but it was hard to avoid in the moment. Gritting his teeth, he reached out and grabbed the most promising-looking test--not that any of them looked particularly promising. He would just have to deal with what he had. Taking a moment to read the instructions, he wondered if his senses were deceiving him as he caught the trail of a familiar scent. Surely Jamie wouldn’t happen to be in the same general store, especially considering how hard the alpha seemed to be trying to avoid him. Just the same, despite everything tellin
g Craig to do just the opposite, he followed his nose to the end of the store where the scent led him. His eyes widened marginally upon taking in the sight of the very alpha who had been so dutifully avoiding his path, but he couldn’t help rolling his eyes as he realized what Jamie was doing. If the ski mask he was purchasing, along with the accelerant and matches, was any indication, it was quite clear that he still planned to follow through with his stupid plan. Craig wanted to storm up to him and make it clear what an idiot he was, but he knew he shouldn’t interfere. It was no longer his place to take care of Jamie. It was no longer his place to be the responsible one--calling the alpha male down when he got too out of hand. He had too much in his personal life to deal with.
Just the same, he edged closer, watching Jamie like a hawk as he took in each product the other male tossed into his shopping cart. The alpha couldn’t have been more incriminating if he tried, and Craig realized that Jamie planned to do every bit to make himself seem guilty as he approached the cash register. He truly, honestly, intended to check out with the few items he held in his cart--the items that simply screamed arson. Craig inhaled a shuddering breath, knowing he should turn his back on the situation and simply move on with his life. Could he truly let Jamie throw his life away so carelessly, however? It was one thing to commit a crime, but it was another thing altogether to incriminate himself so completely.
“You really are more of any idiot than even I could have expected,” Craig piped up, making his way across the short distance to the man he longed to embrace. Holding Jamie was the last thing he could fathom doing in that moment, however. Jamie jolted upright upon hearing the familiar voice, narrowing his eyes in Craig’s direction. The omega could only smile bitterly as he continued to close the distance, grabbing the ski mask out of the other man’s shopping cart, scrutinizing it closely. Jamie seemed to be looking at him a bit strangely, and he could only imagine it was due to his distended stomach. He ignored the stare, meeting Jamie’s gaze as he tossed the mask back into the alpha’s shopping cart. “Way to incriminate yourself, dummy. You couldn’t be more obvious if you tried,” the omega male pointed out, resting a hand on his hip. Jamie hesitated a moment, meeting Craig’s expression with a gaze that almost seemed pained. Craig recognized that look of anguish; it was one he had become so familiar with in his time knowing Jamie.
“Yeah… yeah, well,” Jamie muttered, snatching the pregnancy test out of Craig’s hand. “Who have you been crawling around with, then? It wasn’t enough to lay your best friend and then break his heart; you had to go on and find the next person whose life you could ruin,” Jamie said coolly, eyes narrowed upon Craig’s slight chubbiness. The omega scoffed, grabbing the pregnancy test back out of Jamie’s hand and looking at the alpha with a glare that would have obliterated him, could looks kill.
“That’s not really any of your business, is it? I’m trying to look out for you, because from what you’re buying, you’re every bit the idiot you always were,” Craig said a bit dismissively, yanking the shopping cart from Jamie’s hands and making his way down the aisles of the store. Jamie trailed behind him, sputtering angrily at the omega’s casual attitude. Craig paid him little mind, grabbing a few additional items of winter wear and tossing it in the cart.
“What are you doing?” Jamie demanded in a hiss, and Craig laughed humorlessly, tossing his pregnancy test in the cart before making his way to the register.
“I’ve already effectively ruined my life; I’m not going to let you ruin yours so easily,” the omega said coolly, steering the shopping cart towards the front of the store. Jamie jogged after him, struggling to keep pace with the older male in spite of the hefty weight he carried. Jamie stopped short as Craig began unloading the items at the register, and the omega smiled a saccharine sweet smile at the young woman behind the counter.
“Good afternoon. Looks like you’re getting ready for a long winter,” the omega female said lightly, scanning the items without giving them a second thought. Jamie stammered for a moment, but a look from Craig effectively silenced him.
“Oh, yes. I’ve been unable to pay my energy bill, so my heat has been cut off. My friend Jamie here can’t afford to pay the bill, but he offered to buy me a few things, so I could keep cozy… isn’t that nice?” Craig smiled sweetly, his voice almost too sweet to bear. The female gasped, reaching out to touch Craig’s arm with all the tenderness in the world.
“My, that’s so generous! Especially considering your condition--,” she paused, scanning the pregnancy test, “Or, your potential condition, it seems like,” she added apologetically. Craig chuckled softly, continuing to place items on the conveyor belt for the cashier to scan.
“He’s even buying me a few loads of wood for my fireplace. I didn’t consider buying the accelerant, but I’m a bit of a dunce when it comes to lighting a fire,” Craig laughed airily, and he could feel Jamie’s eyes on him as he interacted with the sales associate. Jamie had never been particularly subtle, so the art of deception was lost on him. Craig didn’t like to value himself the manipulative sort, but he could do it in a pinch if it meant keeping the man he loved from being arrested. Even if the alpha male had turned his back on Craig, it didn’t mean that the omega had to forsake him entirely.
“That’s smart! The accelerant will really help, just don’t use too much! The fumes can get crazy in a small space,” the cashier continued, glancing towards Craig with a faint smile. “I’m sorry, but I have to ask. What are you hoping the test will say? I know it’s not professional, but I’ve wanted a pup of my own for so long…,” she murmured hesitantly. Craig gave pause, well aware that Jamie was listening in to the answer as well.
“Truthfully…I’d love to have a child. I couldn’t imagine anything more fulfilling to do with my life. Unfortunately, the father’s not going to be in the picture, and my own dad will probably kick me out of the house if it turns out I’m carrying. I have an idea of how the test is going to come out but…I hope it’s not what I think,” Craig said quietly, helping the cashier bag the items. She waved him off, her expression sympathetic as she filled the bags.
“Well, it may be a bit easier with a friend like this in your life. Forgive me if I’m out of line, but I happen to think the two of you would make a really cute couple,” the cashier giggled, taking the cash out of Jamie’s hand and counting it out before giving him the change. Jamie stared at the cashier for a long moment, and though his expression wasn’t nearly as disgusted as Craig might have expected, he still looked troubled to an extent.
“Thanks,” Jamie said quietly, and Craig smiled at him for show.
“Oh, Jamie here isn’t the type to get tied down. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had, though. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it won’t be so bad,” the omega male said amicably, mostly to avoid making the female cashier uncomfortable. She seemed satisfied with his answer, handing over the receipt to Jamie.
“Well, Jamie, was it? Maybe you should reconsider your perspective on getting tied down. This seems like one hell of a guy, and like I said…you’d be a really cute couple,” the female grinned, waving at Craig before turning her attention to the next customer. Jamie made to part his lips and sputter out of some words of thanks to the omega male, but Craig shushed him and pushed the bags into his hands.
“Think nothing of it. Just taking care of my friend,” Craig said with a weak smile. He grabbed the single bag with the pregnancy test, gesturing for Jamie to follow him. It wouldn’t do to blow their cover immediately after checking out, so he would have to at least pretend to be taking the items home. The story about his heat being cut off had been a spur of the moment thing, but he was just happy it had worked as well as it had. He knew he should likely engage in some sort of conversation with the alpha as they made their way to Jamie’s car, but Craig steadfastly remained silent until they got to the car itself. He paused for a moment to allow Jamie to stuff the bags in the back of his truck, nodding approvingly before turning his back on the alpha male and making his wa
y to his own car. His feet hurt, his legs ached, and his stomach was cramping something painful, and he wanted nothing more than to go home and see if he had truly been condemned to a death sentence. He only managed to make it a short distance away, however, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to face Jamie, his expression bitter as he stared at the alpha who had done the deed. He couldn’t really blame Jamie for not knowing, but there was still an angry piece of him, deep down inside.
“Come to my place. You won’t have to deal with your dad as soon as you get the results,” Jamie offered, his expression weary. As much as Craig wanted to argue, the idea of being on good terms with the alpha once more was too appealing to deny. It also helped that he wouldn’t have to deal with immediately being kicked out of his childhood home.
“Alright.”
