by Stevie Barry
Gerald wished he could reassure her, but there was no way to do so without flat-out lying. "We'll see," he said. "I promise we'll take good care of you. I want to get you in for a proper ultrasound, too." He squeezed Lorna's hand. "Do you want me to tell Ratiri?"
"No," she said, swallowing again. "No, I'll do it."
"I'll send a nurse in with more pain medication," he promised. "It won't be as effective as morphine, but it won't harm the fetus."
He felt like a coward, leaving her alone with that bombshell, but he was afraid she'd lose it on him if he stayed, and he frankly couldn't blame her. At two months, there was still a chance she'd lose it -- though if she hadn't done so by now, she probably wouldn't. He wasn't kidding when he said the fetus had to be as tough as its mother.
He made an appointment for an ultrasound, and dispatched a nurse with the appropriate medications. Honestly, he needed a drink -- and Ratiri would, too, more than likely. Obviously he loved Lorna, but this was a hell of a way to start a family.
----
Lorna was even more terrified than she'd let on. It hadn't occurred to her at all, to wonder why she'd never got her period while she was prisoner after the escape -- she'd been too drugged and angry to spare it a thought. And drugged was exactly the problem. She'd seen a few babies that had been delivered from addict mothers -- she knew how bad it could be.
And that was entirely beside having been shot, having spent weeks living off meat and water, and then that battle at the end with Von Ratched. Von fucking Ratched, who'd pumped her full of so many drugs…shit, she might miscarry soon anyway.
Two months isn't that far along, she thought. And the kid's got to be stunted, or I'd be starting to show by now, right? Her knowledge of pregnancy was pretty hazy, because she'd miscarried her first kid so early on.
And then there was Ratiri. They were very attached to each other, sure; there was caring and infatuation, but they didn't actually love one another. They hadn’t known each other nearly enough time for that, so what the hell would this do to them? There barely even was a them. Shit, there was no guarantee there would ever even be a ‘them’, now that they were away from the Institute and no longer locked up together. He might panic as much as she was doing -- especially since he was a doctor, and would know just how much damage the last two months could have done.
Speak of the devil, he and the wolf chose that moment to return. He was carrying a bowl of what smelled like chicken broth, but Lorna had no appetite at all.
"What's wrong?" he asked, setting the bowl on her bed-tray.
There was really no way to break this to him gently. "I'm pregnant," she said bluntly. "And I'm scared shitless."
To her surprise, Ratiri didn't look surprised. Stricken, yes; surprised, no. "Geezer told me that would happen eventually," he said, collapsing into the chair beside her bed. "I didn't think he meant right now, though."
Lorna blinked, totally thrown off-guard. "Wish he'd warned me," she said.
"I don't think he knew, before we'd escaped," Ratiri sighed.
She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. "I feel like a right idiot," she said. "I didn't think anything of it, when I didn't get my period. I was too busy thinking up ways to kill Von Ratched. Be honest with me, allanah: after all the morphine I was on, how much damage could we be looking at here?"
He looked like he wanted to lie, but he had to know how pointless that would be. "Maybe a lot," he admitted. "Possible mental deficiency, physical birth defects, or both. I'm sure you've heard the term 'crack baby'."
Lorna winced. "I've seen a few." She paused. "D'you…d'you think I should get rid'v it?"
"Do you want to?" he asked.
"No." She'd never thought she'd be able to have children, and if she aborted this one, she might not have another. She wasn't getting any younger. "But I'm scared."
It was an enormous admission for her, even to Ratiri. It would turn to anger eventually, as her fear always did, but right now she was too stunned to be properly pissed at Von Ratched and his drugs.
Ratiri reached out and started pulling at her aura. "It will be all right," he said. "We'll make this work. We make everything work."
The surety in his voice calmed her even more than his work on her aura. When not in the grip of whatever alien thing Von Ratched had saddled him with, Ratiri was easily the most sensible person Lorna had ever known.
"Miranda wants to talk to you, as soon as you're up to it," he said, easing away from the subject. "She runs this circus, more or less. She'll probably ask all sorts of terribly invasive questions."
"Bring it. I could use a distraction."
"I'm sure Gerald told you we have to take you off the painkillers," he added. "I'll keep your aura clean, to dull the pain. Hopefully your ribs will heal before the sprog gets too big."
She arched an eyebrow, a little amused in spite of everything. "Sprog?"
"Blame my father. He called me a sprog until I was ten."
Lorna smiled a little. She was so exhausted she thought she could sleep again, in spite of her worry. Maybe when she woke, things wouldn't seem so terrible.
----
Ratiri could only put Miranda off for a week, until she got too exasperating to deal with.
"I know she's been through hell, but we need answers," Miranda said. "Katje goes before the U.N. in a week. We need to know what, if anything, Lorna knows about what happened to Von Ratched."
"Just don't make her angry," Ratiri warned. "If she doesn't tear you apart, her wolf will."
"What does she do, turn into the Hulk?" Julifer asked.
"She doesn't need to," he said grimly. "She doesn't have the best control over her telekinesis. Piss her off too badly and she could destroy the whole hospital."
Julifer gave him a startled look. "Really?"
"She went toe to toe with Von Ratched and came out alive. That should tell you all you need to know right there. Add in pregnancy hormones…."
Even Miranda looked a little disturbed. Powerful Gifted were one thing, but when you added in the cranky pregnancy factor, it could be exponentially worse.
And Lorna was cranky. Morning sickness had set in with a vengeance now that she was eating proper food, and though they’d given her some kind of anti-nausea medicine, she still felt like shit.
It didn't help that she was still stuck in the hospital. Gerald had vetoed her move, and had to dodge a flying dinner-tray when he did. They'd decorated her room as best they could, but it was still a hospital room. This improved Lorna's mood not a whit.
"I'll be tactful," Miranda promised. "As tactful as I can be, anyway."
Right. Miranda trying to use tact was like a fish trying to breathe without water. By now, Ratiri knew she just wasn't capable of it, no matter how pure her intentions. The idea of watching her with Lorna would have been entertaining if it wasn't so terrifying. In some ways, the two women were far too alike for their own good.
Fortunately, Lorna was calm enough when they reached her room. There was no tinge of green in her complexion, so she probably wasn't nauseated. She just looked tired. The wolf had to be just as tired, for it was asleep on the floor beside her bed.
Julifer hesitated at the sight of it, but Miranda didn't so much as blink. Somehow, Ratiri wasn't surprised she'd take even that in stride.
"Hi," Miranda said, pulling up the chair beside the bed. "Your boyfriend didn't want me in here, but I have to ask you a few questions."
Lorna surveyed her keenly, so intensely it made even Ratiri a little uncomfortable. "Shoot," she said.
"I need to know what you know about what happened to Von Ratched," Miranda said. "If you have any idea where he is."
"Dead in the forest, probably," Lorna said. "He was alive when I left him, but I doubt he could've stayed that way for long."
The flatness in her tone made even Miranda pause. "Explain."
"He caught up with me, out there," Loran said, and gestured to her bruised throat, her lacerated face. "We knocked se
ven different kinds'v shit out'v each other, leveled a good bit'v forest, and probably burnt down some'v it. I'd been warned away from outright killing him myself, so I broke both his legs and left him for the wolves."
Even Ratiri stared at her. She'd fought Von Ratched several times, yes, but she'd never actually won. He'd always stopped it before they could kill each other. She'd drawn blood, but she'd never broken any of his bones, never hurt him in any way that slowed him down for any significant amount of time. In the Institute, she never could have walked away if he hadn't let her.
There was a long pause, and Miranda looked at her with actual respect. Julifer, still hovering in the doorway, was nervous as hell, but Miranda hardly seemed fazed. "What made you spare him?" she asked.
"The Lady," Lorna said. "She was the one who helped me escape so far from the Institute, and she told me, in a roundabout way, that if I outright killed him I'd become something like him. So I gave him a chance, even if it was a small one."
Now Miranda froze. Ratiri had privately wondered just how many of the Gifted had spoken to the Lady, how many of them even knew about her. It seemed he had his answer.
"She helped you escape?" Julifer asked softly. "She never interferes, not directly."
"I'm sure she has her reasons," Lorna said, and paused. "She told me…she told me I had it in me to be as strong as Von Ratched, and that whatever I did with that strength would decide what I'd turn into. No matter how much Von Ratched deserved to die, I didn't think murdering him was a good way to start."
That managed to unnerve even Ratiri. Lorna had been strong, yes, but nowhere near Von Ratched's level. However much Ratiri loved Lorna, he knew what her temper was like -- holding that much power in her hands might be a bad, bad thing.
At least it seemed she was aware of it, too. Leaving Von Ratched alive, even badly injured, might not be smart from a tactical standpoint, but she was right -- killing him would not be a good first use of whatever strength she had gained.
"How did you get so much power?" he asked.
"Honestly, I don't know," she said, and she looked troubled. "The Lady didn't say. Von Ratched and I almost killed each other before I escaped -- that might've…unlocked it, or something."
Her aura told Ratiri she was telling the truth, but he knew her well enough to know she was leaving something out. Whatever else Lorna might be, she was an abysmal liar; if anyone had ever truly lacked a brain-to-mouth barrier, it was her. He was hardly going to ask her about it in front of Miranda and Julifer, though.
"Whatever the reason, I appreciate the info," Miranda said. "I'll send some people out, to see if we can find his corpse."
"Let us know if you do," Lorna said dryly. "There's a lot'v people who'd like to spit on it. Myself included."
Miranda actually smiled at her. "Duly noted. We'll let you get some rest."
She practically dragged Ratiri out after her, and he could almost see the wheels in her head turning. She didn't actually say anything until they reached her office, though.
"The fuck's up with your girlfriend?" she asked, pulling a bottle of whiskey from a drawer in her desk. "You didn't tell me she was that strong."
"I didn't know," he said, taking the glass she handed him. "She wasn't, before. Could it be because she's pregnant? Could she be drawing off the fetus's power somehow?"
"Doubt it," Julifer said, knocking back her own drink in a long swallow that left her sputtering. "We've never seen anything like that before."
"We've also never dealt with anyone not born with their gifts," Miranda pointed out. "For all I know you may be right, Ratiri. Keep an eye on her. If she's as volatile as you say, she could be really bloody dangerous."
"Trust me, I know," he sighed. "I love Lorna dearly, but aside from Von Ratched, she's probably the last person in the world who should have that kind of power."
"I won't ask her to submit to any tests yet. Not until your kid's born. When the hell did you find time to knock her up?"
Ratiri tried not to wince. That was a thing that ought to be between himself and Lorna, dammit. "The night before all of us but her escaped. Terrible timing, I know, but we were both afraid we might die the next day."
"We'll make sure she gets good care," Julifer promised. "I just wish we knew how long her…pet…planned on staying. I don't care how docile it seems -- it's freaking the medical personnel out."
"If it really is the Lady's wolf, I doubt we need to worry." Personally, he was glad she had the creature to keep her company, especially now. In her prickly state, Lorna might chase away most humans, but she wasn't likely to try to send the wolf off somewhere else. He'd never seen the like of it before -- an animal so protective of its person.
"I hope you're right. Katje really, really wants her to testify before the U.N., but I'm going to try to squash that idea. Something tells me Lorna's not in any fit mental state to do that, let alone physical," Julifer said. "Though I gotta admit, the mental image of her and her wolf glaring at everyone is pretty priceless."
"If she'd stop glaring, it would be fine. Unfortunately, half the time she doesn't know when to stop until it's far too late."
"Kinda figured that. You stick around with her when we're gone. Your Gift's so rare you're better in the hospital anyway."
Ratiri was glad enough to stay put. Even now, he sometimes had nightmares of Von Ratched hunting him -- it was comforting to be able to wake up and know there was literally no way he'd be found. He wasn't going to believe the bastard was dead until they found a body. Even then, he'd probably have dreams about Von Ratched as a zombie.
He got into our heads even when he wasn't trying. It was a nasty thought, but it was the truth. Moving on was not going to be an easy process.
----
Geezer insisted on going with the group that went to search for Von Ratched's corpse. Why he was so insistent, even he didn't know. It just felt like something he had to do.
It wasn't a simple task. Lorna wasn't sure how long she'd been unconscious afterward, so she couldn't know how far she'd gone. Fresh snowfall had obscured her tracks -- and if Von Ratched really was dead, it would make his body even harder to find.
Lorna had been headed south, so the group made their way north, stomping through powdery whiteness with snowshoes. So far as Geezer could remember, he'd never been snowshoeing, and it was surprisingly difficult for a beginner. Thank God he'd been working out, or he would have flagged after the first dozen yards. Lorna must have ridden that wolf like a damn pony, or she never would have made it.
At least it was beautiful out here, the sky a clear and flawless blue. He'd rarely been outside since their escape, and neither time for very long -- there wasn't much chance to see London when they went for their interviews. Being out in the open was even nicer than he'd expected, even if it was so cold he had to pull his scarf up over his mouth.
It took almost an entire day to find the clearing Lorna had spoken of. It was impossible to miss, and even Geezer paused. He'd seen the bodily aftermath of her fights with Von Ratched, but this was insane -- he must have lost his temper on a scale Geezer wouldn't have thought him capable of. There was no way Lorna could have done all this damage by herself.
"Jesus," one of the soldiers muttered. "She wasn't kidding, was she?"
"Lorna's good at understatement," Geezer said dryly. "I'd rather not camp here tonight."
"I hear ya. Let's get to poking." They'd all brought ski poles, and not just to help themselves walk. Chances were they'd only find Von Ratched if somebody speared him.
It was a tense, arduous process. Nobody said anything as they stabbed the snow, and Geezer was pretty sure he knew why. Hearing about Von Ratched and seeing firsthand what he could do were two very different things. It looked like someone had hit this place with a missile. This hadn't been a fight -- it was a two-person war. No wonder Lorna had been so beat up when they found her. Hell, she was lucky to be alive.
When they reached Ground Zero, they didn't find Von Ratched, but th
ey did find a lot of blood. A huge tangle of branches had kept the snow from piling up, so the steps and marks of the fight were still relatively clear. Even Geezer, who knew both parties involved, was a little creeped out. Rarely had he seen such obvious evidence of two people doing their damndest to kill one another.
"This can't all be Donovan's," a soldier said, poking at the frozen blood, "but it can't all be Von Ratched's, either, or he'd be here with it."
"Maybe he dragged himself off and died somewhere else," another soldier suggested. "Or something else did it for him. I'd bet there are other wolves out here."
"We can hope," Geezer said, but there was a sinking feeling in his gut. Lorna had said Von Ratched was hunting her by helicopter. If he'd landed near enough, he could conceivably have crawled his way back to it. It would have hurt like a bitch, but Von Ratched was a stubborn bastard. If anyone could pull that off, it was him.
But they stabbed at the snow anyway, heading toward the old Forest Service road. It was the only place a helicopter could have conceivably landed, and even then it would have taken out a lot of branches.
And it looked like it had. There was no chopper, but there were a lot of downed limbs. Hard to believe though it was, it looked like Von Ratched really had taken off. And it was probably too much to hope he'd passed out and crashed somewhere. Shit.
The little group was silent. It would have taken an almost superhuman strength of will and body to pull that off. Lorna had her wolf to aid her, but Von Ratched would have been on his own, with two broken legs and a stab wound to the side.
"The fuck did he pull that off?" someone asked. "What is he?"
"A monster," Geezer said. "I knew he was tough, but I'd never have thought he could do something like this. We might be fucked."
A long, sober silence followed that. Then, "How did Donovan survive this?"
Geezer snorted. "Woman's too stubborn to die. If Death come for her, she'd probably sock it in the face. Unfortunately, it looks like Von Ratched did, too."
There was nothing to do but make camp, and take the bad news back tomorrow. Miranda was not going to be happy.
