by Anna Sugden
“Excuse me?” He couldn’t have heard that right.
“If I want the Ice Cats contract, I’m not allowed to date anyone in the organization.”
The logical side of his brain said it wasn’t unreasonable. A lot of businesses frowned on in-office relationships. Unfortunately, logic wasn’t ruling his emotions.
The uncertainty that had been nagging at him crystallized. He knew why he was afraid. Compromising on the smaller issues didn’t mean a damn thing when it came to the security of their future. His internal laugh was bitter and mocking. What future?
Why hadn’t he brought up the dreaded R word? Man, was that ever coming back to bite him on the ass. Now it was too late.
Because one thing Ike knew for sure—when it came to choosing between her business and him, there would only be one winner. And it wouldn’t be him.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“SO YOU TURNED him down.” Ike tried to keep the sarcasm from his voice, but didn’t quite manage it.
Tracy looked surprised and a touch offended by his tone. “Of course I did.”
She’d chosen him over getting her Ice Cats contract back? No way. “You’re kidding.”
“I never kid about my business,” she said crisply. “I won’t let anyone dictate my personal life, least of all a client. Besides, I resented his implication that I can’t be professional. Who I date would never affect how I do my job. So, yes, I told him his terms were unacceptable. He’s stuck with Lois—he gets what he bloody deserves.”
Tracy was serious. She’d said no. Ike had wanted proof that Tracy was ready for a commitment and holy cow—she’d just handed it to him, gift wrapped with a big bow. Happiness exploded in him.
“I’m... I don’t know what to say.” He’d been an idiot to doubt her. “How did Hardshaw take that?”
“He upped the ante, naturally.” Her lip curled. “An introduction to the major sports teams in the area and his strong, personal endorsement for Making Your Move.”
Ike’s happiness dimmed. He should have expected that Hardshaw wouldn’t let such an important contract go so easily. “That’s some deal.”
“It’s amazing. Apparently it’s one of those rare perfect storms—the Nets, the Mets and the Jets are all looking to outsource services and have been talking to the other teams in the area about who they would recommend.”
Damn it. Ike had to hand it to his GM. That was a shrewd move. Hardshaw had given Tracy an offer she couldn’t refuse.
Ike couldn’t blame her. He understood that it wasn’t just being number one, but what that success represented for Tracy that meant so much to her. Turning down Hardshaw’s first offer had been an amazing gesture, but he couldn’t expect her to reject a deal that would give her what she’d worked so hard for. Even if it meant ending their relationship.
“So you changed your mind,” he said quietly, trying not to show his disappointment.
She frowned at him as if he were nuts. “No, I did not. I told him, politely, to stick his offer where the sun didn’t shine.”
Her retort should have pleased him, and it did in a small, selfish way. It also made him feel terrible—she was giving up so much for their relationship. For him. Too much. “If it worked out, you’d be the largest relocation services company in the area.”
Tracy looked confused. “True, but at what cost? I told you—no one dictates how I run my life or my business.”
“I appreciate that and I’m sure Hardshaw will think twice about trying anything like that again. But you can’t turn down such an incredible offer.”
“I can and I have.” She softened her tone. “Our relationship is too important. I care too much about you to throw it away for a business deal. No matter how fantastic.”
She was saying all the right words. Exactly what Ike had wanted to hear. Only instead of making him feel better, it made things worse. He cared too much to let her throw away such a huge opportunity. To pay such a high price.
He had to put this right. But what could he do? Callum Hardshaw had put them in an impossible situation.
Though it killed Ike to admit, there was only one solution. The problem was convincing Tracy to accept that. He had to take a leaf out of his GM’s book—be ruthless and give her no choice. “I can’t let you do this.”
Tracy arched a haughty eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
“I can’t let you make this mistake.”
Anger flashed in her eyes. “You can’t let me?”
“What I’m trying to say is it’s unnecessary.”
Her gaze narrowed. “And why is that?”
Crap, this was even harder than he’d thought it would be. When he said what he had to, there would be no going back. The line would have been crossed. For a moment, he was tempted to take the easy route. But only a moment. He had to be firm and do it right.
For Tracy’s sake.
“I’ve been having second thoughts about us. I don’t think it’s working.”
* * *
THIS COULDN’T BE HAPPENING.
“But...but that’s not what you said this morning,” Tracy stammered. “You were talking about celebrating two wonderful weeks together.”
She’d actually thought he was on the verge of telling her he loved her. Oh, she’d told herself it was too soon for anything like that, but everything had pointed in that direction. Even the fact that he was making dinner for her. She’d even thought about admitting that she was falling in love with him, too.
What’s more, she’d been planning to tell him that she finally felt ready to make a commitment to him. That she was no longer scared of taking their relationship to the next level. She’d imagined them talking about taking things steadily, but she’d been prepared to discuss a serious future together.
Ironically, the meeting with Callum Hardshaw had only strengthened her belief that she was about to do the right thing. Tracy had been furious that the GM had felt the need to lay down such a harsh condition. She’d never been anything but professional in her dealings with him, or any other client. Once she’d put him in his place, she’d actually felt pretty good.
She’d come here expecting that Ike would be pleased with the decision she’d made. That he’d see how important he was to her. Instead... Well, she wasn’t sure what this was.
She searched his face for a glimmer of hope, some sign that she’d misunderstood, but his expression was stony and cold.
“I’m sorry,” Ike said. “I’ve had my doubts this past week, but I hoped I was wrong. I thought I could let things ride a little longer, just to be sure. That maybe with a bit more time and if I tried harder, it would make things right.” He shook his head sadly. “Obviously, under the circumstances, that wouldn’t be fair to you.”
Tracy was stunned. “That’s it? You’re telling me we’re over?”
“I think it’s the best solution. The thing is, I really need to be focusing on my fitness. You know how important it is for me to get back on the ice. So I wouldn’t have the time to work on a relationship, even if I wanted to.”
The unspoken message being that he didn’t.
It was truly over.
Tracy’s temples started to throb. She felt sick. She reached blindly behind her to grab hold of the banister as she struggled to keep standing. What a naive fool she’d been, thinking that there might be a happy ending for her and Ike. That inner voice had been right all along.
Pride lit one final spark of rebellion within her. Pulling on every ounce of strength in her body, Tracy straightened. “You’re right. This is the best way. Callum Hardshaw’s deal is too good to turn down and I would have ended up regretting it. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to hear I’ve changed my mind. He was frantic at the thought of being stuck with poor Lois for the rest of the season.”
She lifted her chin. �
��This was fun while it lasted. At least we know for sure we can’t make this work and can move on with our lives.”
For a moment, she thought Ike’s emotionless facade would crack. There was a flicker of something in his eyes that she couldn’t quite decipher.
But then it was gone.
She had to get out of there. Now.
She forced her legs to move. “Don’t bother to see me out.”
Even as she willed Ike not to follow her, she hoped desperately that he would. Hoped the sight of her leaving for good would change his mind.
Instead, he stood, solid and silent, as immovable and impenetrable as if he were in net.
As Tracy pulled the door closed behind her, the snick of the lock catching put a full stop on it all. White-hot pain seared through her body like a flash of forked lightning.
But in its wake came a numbness that dulled her senses. As if those same nerve endings had been cauterized. Tracy didn’t know how she made it to her car, or how she managed the drive home. She got out of the car, went into the house and upstairs to her bedroom on autopilot. Then she began to shiver, as though she’d caught a chill. Tracy toed off her shoes before slipping under the covers fully dressed.
Almost immediately, Moppet and Poppet leaped up onto the bed and snuggled in close to her. As she stroked their fur, the numbness vanished and she gave in to her misery.
* * *
SHELL-SHOCKED, IKE stood in the hall long after the door had shut behind Tracy.
It had all happened so quickly. Now it felt like that stunned moment in overtime, when the opposition scored. Motion slowed. Sound was muffled, as if it were traveling through water. And that terrible sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that there were no more chances to put it right.
Just like that agonizingly miserable moment of defeat, his brain filled with if-onlys, even though he knew without doubt it had been the right thing to do.
That didn’t make losing her hurt any less.
For a moment—one glorious moment—he’d known that he and Tracy could have a future. To have that snatched away was as hard to take as someone telling him he’d never play hockey again. It was a cruel irony that the team that was his career had shattered that hope.
Ike drew in a shuddering breath. Another mistake. Tracy’s scent lingered, sending a spike of pain through him.
He had to get out of this damn hallway.
Slowly, he began to move. One foot in front of the other. Each step was labored, painful. He felt battered and bruised, inside and out. Yet he forced himself to keep going. He made it as far as the living room before his knees gave out and he crumpled to the floor.
Ike buried his head in his hands. A heaving sob escaped him. Then, as if a dam had cracked, tears burned their way down his cheeks. Instead of easing his pain, they amplified it. A dark cloud of misery descended.
He didn’t know how long he stayed like that. He was barely aware of the lengthening shadows and graying light. Finally, a cramp in his leg forced Ike to move. He got to his feet slowly, his limbs aching.
Ike wandered through to the kitchen. He wasn’t hungry, but he could use a beer or two. Or ten. He opened the refrigerator. The sight of the lasagna stopped him dead, reminding him of how he’d planned to spend the evening. He wanted to throw the damn dish across the kitchen. Instead, he emptied the salad into the trash, then grabbed the beer, wrenched off the top and tossed that at the wall. Not nearly as satisfying but better than nothing. And avoided having to explain the mess to Marlene in the morning.
He pulled out a chair and straddled it, taking a long drink of the beer. Unfortunately, his mind went stubbornly back to what he should have been doing with Tracy this evening. He’d sure as hell never expected it to end this way. Damn it—he’d never even gotten the chance to tell Tracy he loved her.
He drained his beer and got another one. Tracy didn’t know—would never know—why he’d done what he had. That it was all because he loved her. He wished there had been another way, but no matter how many times he went back over it, he couldn’t find one.
It was impossible. Ike or the contract, the endorsement and everything that went with it. What had possessed Hardshaw to make that condition? He had to have known that it might backfire. And if it hadn’t, that he’d piss off his starting goaltender.
Had that been the point? He’d been worried about Hardshaw wanting to get rid of him. Had this been a way of getting him to waive his no-trade clause?
Ike laughed at the crazy thought. Paranoid, much? Knowing his GM, the bastard would just come out and ask. No need for dumb games.
He lifted his beer to his lips, then put the bottle down again as a thought occurred to him. Had he been looking at this all wrong? He’d been assuming that this had all been about Tracy and what she had to decide. But what if it wasn’t? What if he turned the whole damn situation on its head? What if he took himself out of the equation?
What if he went to Callum Hardshaw and asked to leave the Ice Cats?
He drank his beer and went over his idea, looking at it from every angle.
The more he thought about it, the more Ike realized he had found the solution he was looking for—a way for Tracy to have what she needed and for him to have Tracy. He’d have to run it past his agent first. Andy might have an idea about the best approach to take.
Of course, it meant doing the one thing Ike had never thought he’d do. He’d hoped to retire as a Cat, but playing for another team wasn’t the end of the world, as Tru had proved.
Maybe it wouldn’t get that far. Ike couldn’t help hoping that it wouldn’t. That Hardshaw would change his mind and drop the condition.
But if he didn’t, Ike was okay with that. As long as he had Tracy.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“CARLA’S RIGHT—YOU look terrible.”
As Maggie strode into the office, Tracy raised bleary eyes from the document she’d been staring at. The truth was she’d been shuffling papers all morning.
She’d hardly slept last night. Normally, insomnia would drive her downstairs into her office. There was always work to catch up on and even when there wasn’t, it never hurt to be ahead of the game. But for the first time, she’d been unable to summon up the energy to get out of bed. The mere thought of her business had turned her stomach.
She’d never thought the day would come when she’d curse Making Your Move. The company that had been her salvation, the proof of how far she’d come and what she’d achieved, had become the instrument of her misery.
Once it was light, Tracy had forced herself to get up and get on with her day as if nothing had happened. If only she could keep her brain from reliving every moment of that awful scene in Ike’s hallway.
“What’s wrong?” Maggie dropped into the chair in front of Tracy’s desk. “Are you ill?”
Tracy forced herself to straighten. “I’m fine. Got a lot on my mind.” She tapped the file on her desk. “Business issues.”
“Rubbish. Whatever’s going on is more than just ‘business issues.’” Her sister gave her a searching look. “Is there a problem with Ike?”
Trust Maggie to zero in on the problem.
“You could say that. We...uh... He...” Tracy cleared her throat to ease the tightness. “It’s finished.”
“What? Why? I thought it was going so well.”
“You and me both.” Tracy’s eyes burned. “Apparently, we were mistaken, because Ike didn’t think so.”
Maggie swore, then jumped up and went around the desk to hug Tracy. “Okay, we’re getting out of this office and going somewhere more comfortable so you can tell me all about it. And I can decide how painful I need to make Ike’s demise.”
Tracy gave a watery laugh, but allowed her sister to shepherd her down to the living room. She sank onto the sofa, thinking she
might never move again, while Maggie made tea.
Her sister allowed her to drink most of the cup before asking, “What happened?”
“I don’t know where to begin.”
“You were fine yesterday morning,” Maggie prompted.
It seemed so long ago that Tracy had been to see the Ice Cats, even though it had only been twenty-four hours. She hadn’t even told Maggie about Hardshaw’s call or their meeting. Since that had been the beginning of the end, it probably was the place to start.
“Callum Hardshaw rang me, asking if we could meet urgently. I’d heard things weren’t going so well with Lois, so I went to see him.”
“About time. Jake said the business was struggling to cope without us.”
Tracy went on to explain the offer the GM had made and his conditions.
“What a jackass!” Maggie erupted. “I hope you told him what to do with his offer. As nice as it would be to have their business back, we’re not playing by those ridiculous rules.”
Tracy had known her sister would support her decision, but it made her feel better to hear it anyway. “I did. I also turned down his counteroffer.”
Maggie’s eyes widened when she heard what that had been. “Wow. He must be desperate. Serves him bloody right.”
“It would have been a hell of a boost to our business.”
“I know. And I know what that would have meant to you.” Maggie’s voice was full of understanding. “But I also know that giving into Hardshaw’s conditions would have been a huge mistake. No success is worth that.”
Tracy’s laugh was bitter. “Turns out I should have accepted.”
“Why?”
“Because the point about my having a relationship with Ike was moot.” Tracy replayed the conversation with Ike for her sister. By the time she’d finished, the tears she’d tried so hard to hold back were falling.
“What nonsense. Ike’s a bigger jackass than his GM.”
Tracy swiped her damp cheeks with the back of her hand. “I don’t follow.”
