Fair is fair even if love or Finn Wilder aren’t.
CHAPTER 20
We ended up winning 3-1. Not bad for our virgin game. Rod hit two home runs over the back fence. He definitely is our best hitter. I would know. Though, I don’t think the other team liked it much when he did some lewd dance moves over home plate. Everyone thought it was a bit much, but I thought it was typical Rod. Finn even mumbled, “Good job,” to him once, but that’s all he had said.
When I got home, I called Morgan. She said she couldn’t make dinner with me that night since she still wasn’t feeling well. I asked her if she should go to the hospital, but she said she just was tired and nauseous. Sunday, she said she still wasn’t any better. I guess morning sickness is different for everyone, but she’s having a particularly hard time, it seems.
“Yo, Hadders! How was the rest of your weekend?” Rod asks, scampering over to my window.
I return to my paperwork. “It was okay.”
“Did you talk to Wilder last night?”
“Yeah. I called him and we talked for a few minutes.”
“Phone sex?”
I glance up at him, confused. “No. Why do you ask?” I don’t think I could ever do that. Finn has never asked anyway.
Rod impishly grins. “Well, you did say a few minutes. So, I was right about him being a minute man?” I unwillingly laugh, shaking my head as I finish signing a report. He observes, “I see they’re putting in a new sign over at the boneyard.”
I organize my papers and giggle. “Oh? Did they run it by you first?”
“No they did not. Assholes.” He turns from the window. “How did things go last night?”
I open my drawer for a folder and answer, “It was fine.”
“Is he still mad?”
I nod. “At himself, mostly.”
“He should be mad at himself. He was an idiot.”
“Pretty much, but I did ruin his surprise.”
“He’s a big boy now. He’ll get over it. By the way, where’d you go? I couldn’t get ahold of you yesterday on the phone. That fucker. Where’d you go during the game? We came in to bat, but you and Wilder weren’t there.”
“Well, I told him I was leaving and he followed me. We ended up having a huge blow out at the tennis court. I can’t believe you didn’t hear us from there.”
“Fuck. What did he say?”
“He did assume you and I were…you know.” I can’t even believe Sparks thought I was cheating on him with Rod, of all people.
“Did you set him straight?”
“Yeah, I guess. He did say things I never expected him to ever say, but I eventually got him calmed down and rational.”
“Do you still love him?”
I look back up at Rod. With all my heart. “I’ve never stopped. I’m just hurt and upset with him.”
“Do you think you’ll forgive him?”
“Yeah. I just need some time to deal with it. I know it’s not major to other people, but the point is that he said he wouldn’t do it anymore. He then decided to do it and kept it from me. He even lied about having to go away for work and camping with Ricky. That hurts. A lot.”
“You two will be okay. Then you’ll get to make up and fuck like jack rabbits again.” I glance at the door to see if anyone heard Rod’s mouth. He asks, “So, Finnigan Wilder won’t be accompanying you to Morticia’s bloodletting. I suppose that means I’ll be sharing your suite then?”
“If you sleep in the bathtub.”
“Amos called me a drain on society before, so okay.”
I search for my stapler and disjointedly grumble when I can’t find it. Reaching over my desk, Rod digs through a pile of papers and presents the stapler in front of my face. I huffily snatch it and he says, “Is he going to be okay with me as your date still? He seemed to be okay at the church when I mentioned it.”
I shrug as I align papers. “I don’t care if he is or isn’t. He already knows you’re my backup. It’s not a secret like the ones he keeps.”
His voice falls as he grouses, “Gee, thanks, Hadders. I feel so fucking used.” I giggle and he says, “You just made me feel like scum. Are you going to now give me a happy ending? You know, since you’re such a shitty friend and are only using me for your own dirty deeds?”
Stapling papers like I’m on crack, I indifferently reply, “Not a chance.”
“Damn it!”
I laugh at his pout. “Is Morgan here?”
Folding his arms petulantly, he still pretends to sulk. “Yeah. I saw her car, but her office door is closed.”
Pushing the stapler aside, I stand and walk around my desk. “I’m going to go see how she’s doing.”
Rod follows me annoyingly close down the hall to Morgan’s office, pulling my ponytail and telling me to “giddy-up.” I swat at him repeatedly, but nothing deters him.
He lets go of my hair when I knock on Morgan’s door. When she answers, I pop my head in. “Hey.”
She looks up, but only briefly. “Hey.”
“You okay?” I walk in and Rod saunters over to her window. I roll my eyes and turn back to Morgan.
She flips through some papers and keeps her head down. “I’m better. Thanks.”
“Are you busy tonight? We can grab dinner.”
“Uh, I can’t. Ivan and I are baby-furniture shopping.”
“Oh. We can do it sometime this week before Friday. Just let me know when you’re free.”
She mumbles, “Okay.” She’s definitely not acting like herself. She hasn’t even mentioned Finn’s on-Air antics since our phone conversation.
“Is there something wrong?”
Morgan looks up at me, but then quickly down at her papers. “Just tired. I have so much to do this week.”
“Well, I’m here to help for anything wedding-related. Do you need me to handle anything?”
She says to the desk, “No. Your dress?”
“I’m picking it up tomorrow at the tailor’s. Anything else?”
“Nope. Not that I can think of.”
I nod, though she doesn’t see me. “Well, I’m always here.”
She inhales and fleetingly glances up. “Hadley, I… I just want you to know you’ve been such a big help. Thank you so much for being such an awesome friend. I hope I can return the favor someday.”
I brightly grin. “No problem. I’m happy to do it. It’s been fun.” Some parts, not so much.
She nods at my stomach. “How’s your bruise?”
My hand automatically goes there. “Better. There’s one area of nagging pain, but it seems to be going away. I already warned Rod I’ll be working his butt off when we dance at your reception.”
“Work it, girl!” Rod shouts and spanks the air. Morgan looks to the window and I cover my mouth with my fist, snorting.
“Gross,” she mutters as she turns back to her computer. She then shakes her head in perplexity and asks, “Wait. Finn isn’t going?”
I peer out the window so my disappointment isn’t that obvious. “He said he’ll be out of town and he’ll probably miss it.” Catching Rod’s knowing gaze, I widen my eyes at him over Morgan’s head, silently begging him not to say anything about my argument with Finn in front of her. That’s all I need is for Morgan to shoot out of here like a bat out of hell and straight to Finn’s office. She has enough stress.
She scoffs, “He can’t take the day off?”
I look back to her with a shrug. “I guess not.”
“He’s seriously pushing his luck,” she huffs, slamming down the pen she was holding.
“We talked, but I told him I can’t be around him this week. It still hurts.”
“I know he hurt you, more than you even realize.”
“I know. We…talked.”
She quickly looks up at me. “What did he say?”
I glance over at Rod who is still people watching. “Um, a lot.”
Morgan heatedly nods, waiting for me to elaborate. “Did he reveal anything else?”
/>
“Some. We’re going to talk again Sunday when I get back.”
“You should. He needs to talk to you.”
“We will talk.” I make my way to the door and say, “I’m going to let you get back to work.”
“Wait! Don’t leave this jackass here!”
I giggle as I leave her office. “There’s a no-return policy. Sorry!”
I hear her mutter, “Bitch,” making me laugh.
Monday at the gym, Shane accused me of losing two more pounds. He told me that he didn’t want me to continue working out until I see my doctor. Well, I see my doctor in two weeks; therefore, Shane will have to wait until then.
Tuesday, I picked up my dress. When I tried it on, it felt looser than what I thought it would. Fucking Shane.
Wednesday evening after work, I call Finn and he answers on the first ring, “Hey.”
I smile at the sound of his always-sexy voice. “Hi. What are you doing?”
“Arranging a dare. What about you?”
My smile grows wider. “Talking to you.”
“You want to have dinner?” He sounds tense asking me that. Why?
“Um, I don’t know.” Morgan was busy tonight, so that date’s out.
He hastily adds, “Just dinner. I promise.” I did tell him I wouldn’t stay away from him again, so I can’t totally shut him out. No matter what.
“Okay. Where?”
“I can pick you up.”
“It’ll be faster if I meet you there.”
He agrees and after we hang up, I speedily get ready. I let down my hair and fluff it up some, but I hate it. Maybe I should just put it back up in a ponytail. I undo another button of my white blouse to loosen up a bit and my key peeks out from my shirt. Picking it up, I run my fingers over it. I miss my Sparks so much. I don’t want to be mad at him anymore. Have I moved past his lying already? Am I being naïve to think he won’t do it again? Nobody’s perfect. I know he’ll make more mistakes and so will I. I just want things back on track with him. I want to move forward, but I still don’t want him to think he can keep doing shit like that to me.
Sighing, I give up on my appearance and put on my shoes.
I meet Finn in the restaurant’s parking lot. He’s wearing a short-sleeved, brown V-neck shirt that shows off his key necklace, his muscular chest and barbed-wired biceps. Damn him. His hair is a light brown and is close to my hair’s shade in the early evening’s setting sun.
Finn walks over to my car, but keeps a slight distance from me, and when he smiles, I melt. He says, “You look beautiful.”
I try a small smile in return. “So do you.” His grin amplifies and I glance away before I’m sucked right back in.
“Shall we?” he asks and I look at him, puzzled by what he means. When I continue to gape, he nods to the restaurant to clarify.
I laugh. “Oh. Yeah.” We walk up to the entrance and Sparks jumps in front of me to open the door. I give him a bright smile and his gaze instantly drops to my lips before he swiftly looks past me. What did I do now?
We are given the option of eating inside or al fresco. I shrug and Sparks tells our hostess al fresco. So, we’re led out to the outdoor covered patio, overlooking the James River and downtown Richmond. Once we’re seated at a table next to the railing, he asks, “How are you?”
“Okay, I guess.” The waitress takes our drink orders. I ask for a lemonade and Finn orders an ice tea. What no alcohol? He’s really trying to score points with me.
When we’re left alone, his solemn, brown eyes scrutinize me, which makes me self-conscious, so I look out over the river and watch a clump of trees in the middle of the water fluttering in the breeze. Without averting my attention from them, I offhandedly ask, “Can you tell me something?”
His tone is guarded and he hesitates. “What do you want to know?”
“Did you really have to go to Pennsylvania for work?”
“Yes. I really did.” He sounds honest, yet he did all the other times before when he was lying.
When I look at him, his eyes are worried. So are mine, though. I ask, “Really? Can I trust you?”
He nods. “Yes. I did go there for work.”
“Did your friend offer you a job up there again?”
Clearing his throat, Finn shifts in his seat and glances away from me. “Yes and no.”
“What do you mean?”
“He did point me to a job, but it’s not at his station. He said there’s an affiliate in Baltimore that wants me since their lead sports anchor retired. They want to go in a different direction to draw more viewers.”
“What did you tell him?”
He absently rolls his bundle of silverware side-to-side beneath his palm. “I told him I’d think about it. When I got back to my office here, they had left me a message saying they want to meet with me.”
“What are you going to do?”
Sparks warily replies, “I don’t know. I wanted to talk to you about it.”
“I want you to be happy.” I really do.
The waitress brings our drinks and I’m so glad for the distraction.
As I take a long sip of my lemonade, he stops playing with his silverware and leans forward. “Wherever you are, I’m happy, but I wouldn’t want to go and you not be.”
I shake my head, exploring his somber face. “I’d understand. It’d be hard, but we’d work something out, hopefully.” Shit. If he thinks it’s hard for us now, how are we going to do that kind of long distance?
The waitress stops to take our dinner orders, but I’m not hungry anymore. I don’t even hear what he orders. I pick the first thing I see, which is chicken alfredo. I’ll be eating it for the next couple days.
When she leaves, Finn asks, “Why do you think we’d have to work something out? You’d be with me. That’s the only way I’d go.”
I anxiously bite my lip. “You’d really want me to go with you?”
Incredulously, he asks, “You’d really think about not going with me?”
“I’d want to be wherever you are.”
He edgily snaps, “Do you mean that?”
Feeling the sting from his question, I sigh heavily and peer over to the river again as an escape. The train and car bridges in the distance look like latticework traversing it. I wonder if my boyfriend has jumped off any of those. Probably not. They’re probably rookie shit like Fenwick Lighthouse.
I hear him sigh, as well. “How was work?”
I shrug and play with my straw. “Same as usual. Morgan’s been acting weird, though.”
An eyebrow shoots up. “How so?”
“She seems like she has something on her mind. I know her wedding, but she doesn’t seem to want to be around me. I know that sounds crazy since I’m in her wedding and all, but she hasn’t had lunch with me for a few days and she says she’s too busy to have dinner with me before Friday.”
He glances down at the table. “Maybe she is busy.”
“There’s something else bothering her, though. I don’t know what it is. I asked her if there’s anything I can do, but she shut me down. I know she’s nervous about getting married. Who wouldn’t be?”
“That’s probably it.”
“Do you think?”
His eyes slide up to mine. “Yeah. Like you said, who wouldn’t be nervous?”
“You. You’re unflappable.”
He scowls. “No, I’m not. I told you I was nervous about asking you out for the first time and then at the chocolate festival when I asked you to be my girlfriend.” I coyly smile and he easily smiles back.
Involuntarily, I blurt out, “Do you get nervous before you skydive?”
His smile falls and his eyes expand at my question. “No. It’s an exhilarating rush. I don’t get nervous doing it.”
“Oh. Do you ever think about anything up there?”
Sitting back in his chair, he pensively gazes at the river. I watch the sunlight reflected from the water catching some blonde in his hair as it dances above his f
orehead in the breeze. “At first, my mind goes blank. The feel and the sound of the wind shake my mind clear of everything. That doesn’t last long because I soon think of the same thing.” He tilts his head away from the scenery and his ruminating eyes are on me as he answers my unasked question. “You, Becks.”
Locked again in his brooding stare, I ask, “About how mad I’d be?”
“Yes. I wanted to tell you. I wanted to stop, too.”
“Why didn’t you?”
His expression is sheepish as he shrugs. “It’s like an addiction.”
“Oh.” I glance down at the table, feeling quite inadequate.
“But then, so are you.”
Lifting my gaze, our eyes meet again and he says, “I need my ecstasy from each one, and the highs are so different from the other, yet I know which one I can quit.”
Trying not to appear panicked, I ask, “Which one can you quit?” I hold my breath and hope he’s not breaking up with me, especially here in a public place. I might have to fling myself over this railing. That would be awkward for the wait staff, but probably more so for the people below on the sidewalk.
He slowly shakes his head and his eyes pierce my soul. “Not you.”
Rubbing my arms from the sudden goosebumps, I quietly sigh in relief, but grudgingly say, “I’m not going to make you quit skydiving. Even though you lied about it, you did go to great lengths and took the risk of me ending us.” I indecisively study his reaction. “I can’t decide if your especially daring or exceptionally stupid.”
He dismally smiles. “It’s not daring. I took that risk and I’m an absolute dick for it. If you truly don’t want me to do it, I won’t.”
“Not true. You knew I didn’t want you to do it, yet you did it anyway.”
“Becks.” He sighs and again toys with his silverware. “I won’t.”
“I’ve done some research. BASE jumping is actually more dangerous than skydiving.”
He takes a drink of his tea and gradually nods. “Yeah. It is, but I’ve done it a lot at the festivals. I know what I’m doing. Yes, accidents happen, I know.”
Igniting the Wild Sparks Page 36
