Once the applause for the third song had died down Nick placed the mic back in its stand and peered out at the faceless people, shielding his eyes so he could at least make out some features.
“Okay, so we’re going to slow things down a little right now. Anybody here ever been in love?”
Someone shouted, “We love Sonic Idols!” and was followed by multiples calls of the same.
“Aww thanks, guys. We love you too.” He glanced around the rest of the band who were grinning like idiots. “Well, this next song is our upcoming single. It’s about falling in love with someone you know you simply can’t have. But you can’t get them out of your head or your heart.” His voice broke as he remembered the emotional experience of writing the song on the ride over to Germany only weeks before. He cleared his throat. “This one is called ... ‘The Worst of Me’.”
Nick collected his acoustic guitar from the rack beside the drums and looped the strap over his head as Si beat out a heartbeat on his kit. Trying to compose himself, Nick peered down at the front row just in case she was there. He hoped she was. Then she would know exactly how he felt.
Taking a deep, calming breath he opened his heart and let his emotions flow through his words ...
You came into my life
at the wrong time
in the wrong place
but all I know is
you made my heart pound
my pulse race
You drove me crazy from the start
But now I wish you’d take my heart
And keep it safe as only you know how
And I know you saw it all
you watched me rise, you saw the fall.
You touched my heart and now you see
the truth inside
in spite of seeing
the worst of me
Never meant to be
it was so clear
And I knew it
but all I know is
trying to stay away
well I blew it
You drove me crazy from the start
But now I know you stole my heart
And held it tight as only you know how
And I know you saw it all
you watched me rise, you saw the fall.
You touched my heart and now you see
the truth inside
in spite of seeing
the worst of me
And I wonder if
you’re thinking
about me
You’re always in my
heart you own it
Completely
You drove me crazy from the start
But now I know you own my heart
And hold it tight as only you know how
And I know you saw it all
you watched me rise, you saw the fall.
You touched my heart and now you own
the truth inside
you even love
the worst of me
Chapter Thirty Eight
Catriona
Lorna kept her arm firmly around Cat’s waist as they made their way through the crowd. “Are you sure you’re okay? I still think we should have gone to A and E. What if you have a concussion. You really went with a bang.”
Cat glanced around distractedly. “Stop fussing, Lor. I’m absolutely fine, honestly. If I pass out you can grab a paramedic. There are plenty hanging around.”
“Cat, you shouldn’t joke. Concussion is serious.”
“Yes, and like I said ... paramedics.” She gestured over to a group of people wearing high-viz jackets who were scanning the crowd. “Anyway, my head’s stopped bleeding and my elbow’s only a bit sore but it’ll heal.”
Lorna huffed. “I still think you should have had stitches. There’s blood seeping through that dressing, you know?”
“That’s because it’s right on my elbow and I keep moving it.”
Poor Lorna was still quite shaken too. “That poor driver. I hope he’s okay. He was so apologetic.”
“Yeah. Poor guy. His car was a mess where he hit the bollard.”
“I don’t think he cared about the car. I think he was traumatised about hitting you.”
“He didn’t hit me, Lor. He braked, thankfully. It was the gravel on the road that caused my injuries. And it was my fault. I’ll watch where I’m going next time my boyfriend announces to his mate that not only has he cheated on me but he caused the break-up of the only relationship that’s actually felt right for me.” Realising she was rambling she stopped and turned to face her worried best friend. “Seriously, Lorna. I’m totally fine. And thank you. Thank you so much.”
Lorna raised her arms and then dropped them by her sides. “For what? Having a total knob-head for a brother? Being related to a complete and utter selfish sociopath?”
Cat smiled and pulled her friend into a hug. “No, silly. For using your connections to get us tickets to come here. After what that bastard—sorry, no offence—did, I really needed this chance.”
“None taken. He is a bastard. He’s certainly no brother of mine after the way he’s acted and what he’s done to you. I’m genuinely ashamed of him, Cat.” Her voice wavered and it was clear to Cat that she was wracked with guilt about her brother’s actions. “And it’s fine about the tickets. It’s the least I could do after ... well, you know. The guy at the wholesalers was supposed to bring his girlfriend but she dumped him so ... ” She shrugged.
“Jeez, there must be something in the air. And stop blaming yourself. I don’t blame you.” She heard the DJ over at the main stage announce Sonic Idols and she gripped Lorna’s hand and pulled her. “This way, quick.”
They passed brightly lit stalls covered in all manner of trinkets and dream catchers and made their way in the direction of the cheers and whistles. They fought through the crowds of brightly dressed people, some with painted faces, others painted only with happy grins and they eventually reached the top of a banking that sloped down to the main stage.
Cat watched with baited breath as Nick walked out into the spotlight and she gasped as she realised his hair was tied up how she had taught him. He was only a small figure in the distance but he was absolutely unmistakable and her heart leapt at seeing him; the urge to run toward the stage screaming his name was almost overpowering.
“Oh God, Lor, he’s here. He’s really here.” She covered her mouth with both hands as her eyes began to sting.
“Oh great, another bloody boy band groupie,” a man standing close by interjected.
She snapped her face to meet him eye to eye. “They’re no boy band. They’re Sonic Idols,” she informed him before grabbing Lorna’s hand once more and leading her through the throng.
They found a little clearing where a group of people had just moved on to get closer to the stage and they stood, watching the band. Nick was amazing and Cat was mesmerised. She could see him closer now and he was beaming as he strutted around the stage. He looked absolutely gorgeous in his black jeans and tight black T-shirt. This was him in his element. His natural place. This was where he was meant to be; on a stage performing to cheering crowds and receiving the adulation he so readily deserved.
What the hell was she hoping to achieve by being here? This was crazy. She was a normal girl from a small Scottish village and he was a multi-platinum selling rock star with millions of adoring fans. It could never work.
Never.
The realisation knotted her stomach and she bowed her head. Lorna’s arms came around her and she dropped her head onto her best friend’s shoulder.
Up on stage and completely oblivious to her presence Nick began to talk to the crowd about falling in love with someone he couldn’t have and she immediately knew what he was saying. She loved him too but they were from two completely different worlds. And then the letter he had left for her sprang to her mind. “Think of me and smile sometimes.” The line that had broken her heart. It really was over, wasn’t it? The words he sang on TV too, about the fact that he couldn’t turn
back time.
She had been fooling herself.
A rhythm that sounded just like a heartbeat played and Nick began to sing again. It was a slow, emotion filled song that cracked her already fragile heart and a lump lodged firmly in her throat as her lip began to tremble. She hadn’t seen the worst of him. Far from it. All she had seen was a man who wanted to be loved and accepted but she had accused him of the one thing he promised not to do—bringing the newspapers and their drama to Gairloch. But it wasn’t even him. It was the one person she would never have suspected. Although knowing what she knew now she would never trust Camden again. Oh yes, hindsight is 20/20. Here in the lyrics of his song, Nick was pretty much taking the blame for breaking her heart when it was she who was to blame. It was she who had shown the worst of herself. And it was she who was the undeserving one.
“Cat, what’s wrong, honey?” Lorna’s voice spoken close to her ear pulled her from her pool of self-pity and disdain.
“I don’t deserve him, Lorna. I shouldn’t have come.” Before Lorna could respond she turned to walk away but a man with a distinctly orange face—even in the dim lighting—stopped her in her tracks.
He held up one hand in a halting gesture and one that contained a pen torch which he shone in her face, making her squint as he tilted his head to one side. “Well, hello there. I don’t bloody believe this. I know your face so bloody well it’s unmistakable. And the fact that you have the most gorgeous red hair and tears streaming down your cheeks tells me one thing.”
Cat scrunched her nose in disgust. “What’s that? That you’re a pervy old stalker type who should keep on walking?”
He chuckled. “Haha! Yep, I like you already. And less of the old, thank you very much. But on a serious note, darling, it tells me that you’re Cat McCreadie. Come on, you need to follow me right now. I’m Den, Sonic Idols’ manager.”
Chapter Thirty Nine
Catriona
Cat glanced at Lorna who stood open-mouthed, and then back to the man whom Nick had talked about many times. She couldn’t quite believe he was here in front of her considering the hundreds ... no thousands of people attending the festival.
Seriously. What are the chances?
She opened her mouth to speak but Den placed a finger on her lips. “Before you tell me you don’t want to see him, just come with me to the tour bus and let’s talk.”
She turned to Lorna again who nodded an emphatic encouragement.
“I think you will want to hear what I have to say,” he insisted.
Cat nodded and Den gestured in the direction he wanted her to walk. Lorna gripped Cat’s hand tight and squeezed it as they followed on behind.
They arrived at the huge, rather extravagant looking, sleek black vehicle. Cat was reminded once again that Nick was from an entirely different lifestyle than her rural idyll. Just one more reason they could never work. Her heart sank.
Den invited them aboard and once they had climbed the stairs Cat stood open mouthed in the entrance way to the living area that was as big as hers at home. Except this place was the epitome of luxury. Fixed black leather arm chairs were positioned in front of a huge flat screen TV and she glanced around trying to figure out where the driver fit in all of this.
“Can I get either of you ladies a drink?”
Cat shook her head. “Lorna’s pregnant and I’m too shell-shocked at the moment. I think I need my wits about me.”
Den nodded and gestured to a dining table area. “Come on, let’s sit.”
Cat gestured for Lorna to slide in to the bench seats first and followed her in. “Okay, what was so important?” She was aware her tone was less than cordial but didn’t actually care.
“He’s miserable. He’s a pain in the arse. All he can talk about is you. All he writes songs about is you. If you don’t come back to him I think he will actually disappear up his own sorry arse. So whatever the hell you think he did wrong can you forgive him and kiss and make up please?”
Cat twisted her fingers in her lap. “It turns out he did nothing wrong. But that doesn’t change anything. He and I could never work. There’s no point me kidding myself.”
Den leaned forward on the table. “What makes you think things won’t work?”
She gestured around herself. “All this. And ... the women ... the time he would be away. I just ... I can’t see how it would work.”
“Do you love the ugly git?”
She smiled. “Unfortunately I do.”
He shrugged and smirked. “Well there’s no accounting for taste I suppose. But anyway. If you love the bastard you’ll make it work. You’ll figure it out, surely?”
She glanced at Lorna who nodded enthusiastically.
“I just don’t think it will work. I don’t know how—”
“Okay, I have a suggestion. I’ve booked a room at the Kingsland Hotel. Room 245. Just go and wait for him, okay? Talk. See if you can’t come up with something like an agreement for the way forward. Please.”
Cat gasped. “I’m not some hooker who needs a room for the hour. Shit, do you think I’m going to just sleep with him and make sure he gets me out of his system?”
Den rolled his eyes and growled. “Bloody Norah, Catriona, I said talk to the man, not fuck him. I think you two need some time to just be alone together and remember why you fell for each other in the first place.”
Lorna chipped in, “Come on, Cat. Just go and talk to him. You know how miserable you’ve been. Just give the man a chance, eh?”
Cat took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She called to mind the way she had felt when she was with Nick. The adoration in his eyes. The way he made love to her, holding her close and making her the centre of attention, her pleasure his sole focus. The way he admitted he loved her at the music night before the whole sorry mess had blown up and the joy in his eyes when she had said it too. Could this work? Could she trust him?
She opened her eyes and swallowed hard. “I’ll go meet him.”
Den clapped his hands together. “Fantastic! Okay, there’s a cab waiting for you. Go to the hotel and wait for him in the room. And take a mental picture of his face when he sees you because I want a vivid description. He will be so bloody overjoyed. And Lorna, there is a room for you at the same hotel but on a lower floor. Just so you can be close by if these two idiots can’t sort themselves out. Okay?”
Cat nodded and glanced at Lorna who was grinning like an idiot.
The chauffeur pulled into the sweeping driveway of the plush hotel and climbed out to open the door for Cat and Lorna. They stepped out and made their way into the foyer.
A very smartly dressed young man behind the reception desk greeted them with a smile. “Good evening, ladies. Welcome to the Kingsland. How may I help you?”
“Oh ... erm ... hi. We apparently have two rooms booked. A guy called Den ... he erm ... ” Cat cringed and glanced at Lorna.
“Ah, Catriona McCreadie and Lorna Douglas with the Blue Demon Records party?”
Cat saw Lorna nodding in her periphery and followed suit.
“Okay, here are your key cards. Miss McCreadie, you are in room 245, and Miss Douglas is room 150. Do you have any bags?”
Cat shook her head. “Oh, no ... no bags ... thank you.”
“Okay, well please go along the corridor and through the double doors where you will find the elevator at your disposal.” Following the very well-spoken man’s instructions Cat began to walk in the direction of the lifts, closely followed by Lorna.
Once inside the lift Cat turned to face her friend. “Shit, what am I doing, Lor? Am I mental?”
Lorna giggled. “Yeah, but that’s why I love you. Seriously, you owe it to yourself to give this a try.”
The lift stopped at the floor for Lorna’s room. “Okay, I’m in 150 if you need me. I’ll just wait to hear from you.”
Cat nodded and exhaled a shaking breath. “Wish me luck.”
Lorna leaned in to kiss her cheek. “You don’t need luck, honey. He adores yo
u.”
Cat opened the door to her room only to discover that it was in fact a huge, sprawling suite. At one end was a king sized bed with gold coloured bedding of the highest quality. Sumptuous gold tapestry curtains hung at the window, held back by ornate gold bars. A chocolate brown leather sofa was placed facing the window that provided a stunning view of the Kessock bridge with its twinkling white lights casting dancing white reflections on the Beauly Firth beneath.
An array of magazines lay on the coffee table and two crystal flutes stood on a small silver tray. Alongside this was a stand which held an ice bucket and a bottle of champagne. Den had pulled out all the stops.
She wandered through the room and discovered a luxurious bathroom complete with a huge roll top bath deep enough to cover Cat up to her chin. Various bath oils and thick fluffy towels had been placed on a vanity unit beside this.
So much for talking. It was clear what Den’s intention had been by sending her here. Perhaps he thought that the sheer luxury of the place would blind her into falling into bed with the sulking rock star. Well, she would try her best not to be so damned predictable.
Material things meant little to Cat. Not like integrity and trust. If you didn’t have trust you had nothing. No foundation on which to build something strong and lasting. She should have realised that when Camden cheated on her the first time.
Walking back through the room she debated pouring a glass of the champagne but decided she may need that as a distraction when Nick arrived.
She sank into the soft leather of the couch and picked up the first magazine that caught her eye. Rock Maestro Magazine was filled with photos and articles about people she’d never heard of and guitars that looked more like implements of torture than musical instruments. She placed it down again and picked up a copy of the Inverness Evening Standard.
The Worst of Me Page 25
