“You’ve got to get over that,” Barry said. “We have a long way to go with Hannah. She’s going to have people stare sometimes. You can’t shelter her from that.”
“But I don’t want her hurt. I don’t want her to know she’s being talked about, made fun of…” She hiccuped a sob and wiped her face.
“We’ll teach her to forgive. But you have to learn to relax and enjoy her. No baby wants to grow up in a laboratory. I say throw the mat out, and get rid of that schedule, and just try to get our family back to normal. The therapists are still coming, the classes still go on, but you don’t have to be Hannah’s constant teacher/therapist/speech pathologist/doctor. All you have to do is be her mother. And that, I know you can do.”
His words brought a healing balm that Tory desperately needed. She leaned into him, and he pulled her into his arms and held her.
Maybe it wasn’t all up to her, she thought as she wept against him. Maybe she could relax a little, after all.
CHAPTER
Sixty
Tuesday afternoon, Mark scored big at mail call. He got letters from Rick, Annie, Tracy, Steve, and his mother. When he got to Steve’s letter, he saw that it was a Bible study from a passage in Luke. He rolled his eyes and folded the envelope back up, crammed it into his pocket, and turned, instead, to the letters from his sister and brother.
When he got back to his bunk, he shoved Steve’s letter into the Bible in his locker without reading it. He was bored, but he wasn’t that bored. Grabbing his textbooks, he headed to the classroom for another hour of cruel and unusual punishment, in the form of a math class.
Steve joined Cathy, Rick, and Annie Wednesday night on their visit to Mark. On the way to River Ranch he told them of the Bible study he planned to provide for Mark.
“He probably got the first one yesterday,” he said. “Don’t expect any overnight changes, but you can be praying that something I wrote will reach him.”
Cathy gave him a skeptical look. “It wasn’t anything theological, was it? Nothing real complicated?”
“No. I knew better than that. I just started with the Prodigal Son. I thought he could sink his teeth into that.”
“He won’t read it,” Annie said, leaning to see into the rearview mirror. She twisted her hair and clipped it. “He probably threw it away. You’re wasting your time, Steve.”
He glanced at Annie in the mirror. “Well, maybe he’ll surprise you. Don’t forget how bored and lonely he is.”
“Pretty cool that you’d do that,” Rick threw in.
Cathy smiled and took Steve’s hand. “Yeah, pretty cool,” she said. “With work and Tracy and church and everything, I don’t know how you found time.”
“I’m taking time,” Steve said. “Mark’s too important to let fall through the cracks.”
The kids got quiet in the backseat as he drove, and Steve figured they didn’t buy a word of it. Once before, he’d been accused of using the kids to score points with Cathy. Rick and Annie were so young to be so cynical.
Then he told himself that Annie had come a long way in the past few months. She had chosen to go to the mission field, and had done a valiant job of raising money. Maybe she had stopped jumping to the wrong conclusions. And Rick was growing up, too.
Maybe they saw that he was honestly concerned about Mark.
Since he couldn’t stand the heavy silence, he changed the subject.
“I was thinking about a swimming pool.”
Cathy shot him a look. “What?”
“A swimming pool, in the backyard. I mean while they’re building and everything. What do you guys think about putting in a pool?”
“All right, Steve!” Annie shouted. “We need a pool, Mom. We’ve always needed a pool!”
Cathy looked like he’d just suggested getting a pet elephant. “Steve, we can’t put a pool in. It’s too expensive.”
“Sure it is, but it’s worth it. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice to come home from a hard day’s work at the clinic and take a nice cool swim?”
“Sure, it would be nice,” Cathy said, “but I have enough things to take care of without having to complicate my life with keeping a pool clean.”
“I’ll take care of the pool,” Steve said. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Yeah, Mom,” Annie cried. “We’ll take care of it!”
“What are you talking about?” Rick said, laughing. “You’re not even going to be here. You’re about to hit some third-world country for a year.”
“But when I come back I’ll want to swim.”
Rick shook his head. “She’s insane, Mom, but no kidding. We could use a pool. I could invite my friends over.”
“Yeah, maybe he’d finally get a girl,” Annie said.
“And how do you guys think Mark would feel about that?” Cathy asked. “It’s bad enough that he knows the house is changing and he’s not there to see it, and that the family may change before he gets out, that his sister’s going off to another country and his brother is moving into the dorms. How do you think he’d feel if he knew we were building a pool?”
“He’d probably be anxious to get out so he could swim,” Annie said.
“No,” Cathy said. “We’re not building a pool. I don’t want to hear any more about it.”
Steve shrugged. “Oh, well, it was worth a try.”
“Don’t give up that easy,” Annie said. “You’re the man. You’ve got to stand up for yourself.”
“Well, since I don’t own your mother’s house, I’m thinking I’d better defer to her on this.”
“Hey, you are going to own it,” Rick said. “When you get married, what’s hers is yours and what’s yours is hers, right?”
Cathy couldn’t believe they were switching sides just for the sake of a pool. “You guys are priceless, you know that? Not once have you encouraged us to go ahead and get married. In fact, you both seem pretty content with the status quo. But the minute there’s something in it for you…”
“Well, sure, Mom,” Rick said. “That’s human nature. There’s something in it for you, too. Think about it. A cool swim after a hard day’s work…”
“It’s only you we’re thinking of, you know,” Annie added.
“Yeah, right.” Cathy smiled at her kids in the backseat. “Sorry, no enchilada. We’re not getting a pool.”
“Man!” Annie slapped her hand on the seat. “I should have known it was too good to be true.”
“Sorry I brought it up,” Steve said.
They reached River Ranch and pulled into the usual parking lot. The visitation room was crowded tonight, full of mothers and sisters and brothers, and several children fathered by the teenaged boys.
When Mark stepped into the room, he looked around and quickly found them at the table. His face lit up.
He looked pale and had dark circles under his eyes. Steve wondered if he’d been sleeping.
Mark greeted them all with hugs for the women and handshakes for Steve and Rick, then sat down and bantered with his sister and brother for a while.
Finally, Steve saw an opening. “So did you get my Bible study?”
Mark frowned. “Your what?”
“You know, the letter I sent you with the Scripture verses to look up?”
Mark looked down at his hands. “Oh, that. Yeah, I got it.”
“Well, did you read it or did you make paper airplanes out of it?” Rick asked.
Steve wished Rick hadn’t said that. It might have given Mark a new idea.
“I skimmed it,” he said. “It’s in my locker.”
Cathy looked embarrassed. “Mark, Steve went to a lot of—”
“I’m doing it, too, you know,” Rick cut in, propping his chin.
“Doing what?” Mark asked.
“The Bible study.”
Steve gave him a confused look. What was he talking about?
“Steve’s about to start working with me on it, too,” Rick said. “I’d hate to get so far ahead of you that we had to stop an
d wait for you to catch up.”
Steve saw the interest pique in Mark’s face. “No way,” Mark said. “You’re doing a Bible study with Steve?”
“Yeah. It might be over your head, though.”
Mark was insulted. “It’s not over my head.”
Steve decided to seize the moment and hold Rick to his word. “Yeah, we’re going to start with the Prodigal Son, which is what I sent you. Then we’ll go back to some of the more exciting events in the Old Testament.”
“Yeah, that Jericho’s pretty cool,” Rick said.
Cathy looked shocked, but she rallied well. “Yeah, it’s one of my favorites.”
“Those walls falling down and all,” Rick said. “And God telling them to march around the city and blow the trumpet. And they never had to fire a shot.”
“Mark, you remember,” Cathy said. “Didn’t Brenda talk about the walls of Jericho with you?”
“Yeah, I remember,” Mark said. “I know all about Jericho. But the trumpets are a little fuzzy.”
“Look it up,” Rick said. “I’m not doing your work for you.”
“It’ll be in the next installment of letters,” Steve promised. “I’ll mail it tonight.”
“Then I’ll get it tomorrow?” Mark asked.
“Or the next day,” Steve said.
Mark considered his brother, and Steve could almost see the spirit of competition coloring his face.
“So what kind of schedule are you and Rick on?” Mark asked him.
“We’ll work together twice a week,” Steve said, and Rick turned and gave him a surprised look. Steve only grinned.
“But if that’s too fast for you…,” Rick said.
“No, it’s fine,” Mark said. “I can do that.”
Steve sat back in his chair and decided he owed Rick a big one. Who would have thought a challenge from his brother would have piqued Mark’s interest this way?
As the bantering went on, Steve’s mind reeled with possibilities. He would have to make it something that Mark could discover on his own. He’d give him Scripture to look up, ask him hard questions, get him thinking. This could work even better than he’d expected. And even if it didn’t, the time he’d get to spend with Rick, bonding and mentoring him, would be well worth it.
It gave him hope for the first time in a long time that this group of separate individuals might some day actually blend into a family.
On the way home from the jail everyone was quiet until Annie erupted with her latest idea. “Mom, I’ve got an idea to raise a lot of money for my mission work.”
“Does it have anything to do with a pool?” Cathy asked with a grin.
“No, for real. I was thinking of having a party, maybe renting the church’s family life center or something, have music and food and let it go all night like one of those junior high lock-ins.”
“Well, how’s that going to raise money?”
“I could charge everybody twenty bucks. If I invited twenty people, that would be $400 right there. Forty people would be $800. Fifty people would be $1000. I’d have the money I needed before the party was over.”
Cathy twisted to look at her daughter in the backseat. “Back in my day we used to work for our money.”
“Well, I’m in a hurry, okay?” Annie said. “I want to get there before August so I don’t have to go to school.”
Cathy shook her head. “And here we were, thinking you were anxious to get there and help the children.”
“Well, that, too,” Annie said. “But, come on, Mom. If I don’t go by August, you know you’re going to make me enroll. I really want to do this. Will you help me with it?”
“I’ll help,” Cathy said, “but I’m not planning it, Annie. I’m not doing this for you. If you want to do it, you can call the church and ask them if the room is available. You find out what the rental is. You invite everybody and you buy the food and line up the music and all that. I’ll be there as a chaperone. I don’t mind that, even though going without sleep is definitely not on my list of fun things to do.”
“It’s for a good cause, Mom.”
“I know,” Cathy said, “but I’m telling you, I’m not planning this for you. This is part of your money-raising efforts, and if the Lord wants you to go, he’ll help you with it.”
“That’s fine,” Annie said. “I can do it.”
“All right, but don’t be surprised if people don’t want to come. Twenty dollars is a lot of money for a kid to pay.”
“Watch,” Annie said with a satisfied grin. “You’ll see. They’ll come.”
CHAPTER
Sixty-One
Days later, Mark heard about the party his sister had planned in record time, and a letter from Daniel suggested that everybody in the world was going to be there. It was turning out to be the party of the year. Annie had all sorts of things planned, and she was calling it the “Help Me Help the Children” party. Mark figured his household was abuzz with activity right now as they made the final arrangements. He was missing it all. He wondered how many more events like this he would miss before he got out of jail.
He had trouble sleeping that night and lay on his back on the thin, lumpy mattress. Around him, the other guys slept, and through their glass booth, he could see the guards watching TV as they kept their eyes on the room.
He wondered what was on.
He stared up at the ceiling, wishing he could fall asleep so he wouldn’t be dog tired the next day, but dreary thoughts of his life passing him by kept him awake.
A tear rolled down his face. He wiped it away quickly, hoping no one would see. Others cried, sometimes, at night. He could hear sniffles from across the room, but never could identify exactly whose they were. If anyone ever did, they made fun of the guy mercilessly. A lot of the guys in here were too hardcore to shed a tear.
Another tear came, and he wiped it away.
He wished he could sit up, turn on the light, and get those letters from Steve out of the locker. He’d already read them each once, but they were the kind of things you had to think about a while. Steve had asked him questions and challenged him to find answers through his own search of the Bible. He just hadn’t done it, even though he knew Rick was getting ahead of him.
But he couldn’t sit up now and work on it, because the guards wouldn’t allow it. Everyone had to go to bed at the same time. They had to get up together and work together and study together, and there was never a moment’s privacy, none at all. He didn’t look forward to the thought of paging through a Bible in front of those guys.
No, the only time he could do that was in Bible study or chapel where others were doing it at the same time. Then, it was understood that they all did it to get out of the building.
He turned to his side and tried to get comfortable, closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, but the thoughts just kept circulating through his mind like a repeating tape on a reel.
He was a coward, he admitted. If not, he wouldn’t have cared what the others thought. He would have searched the Bible as much as he wanted to. Maybe it could really offer him help. Maybe God did care.
Loneliness wrapped him in its cold cocoon, making him more miserable than he’d been before. In the bunk next to him, Lazzo snored. Beef, across the room, mumbled curse words in his sleep. J.B. wheezed and coughed. So many around him, yet he was so alone.
Finally, he reached out to the only person who could hear him at the moment.
“Help me get out of here,” he whispered to the Lord. He didn’t know if God heard, if he cared, or if he listened, but Mark said it nonetheless. It was the first time he’d prayed in a long time. He wasn’t sure he’d ever prayed from his heart. It had always been mechanical before, the “Now I lay me down to sleep” kind of prayer, or “God is great, God is good.” None of it ever really sank in, but now his plea came from his heart. He hoped God was listening. He hoped he had the power to answer.
CHAPTER
Sixty-Two
Somehow, Annie had conned T
ory and Brenda into helping with the food for the “Help Me Help the Children” party. Annie had set up a screen as part of the decoration so she could flash pictures of the children on it all night, so that everyone could see the ones she would be helping.
At first, she told Cathy that fifty kids were coming, mostly from their youth group and school, but when Friday night arrived and they opened the doors, dozens more came. Friends had brought friends, and they had brought cousins and acquaintances and people they’d met at the mall. Word had gotten out all over Breezewood that this was the party of the year.
The church had agreed to let Annie pay for the family life center from the proceeds. They had also given her the condition that there would be no alcohol and no secular music on the premises, so she’d spent the whole week trying to find good Christian contemporary songs that could be played. One of Rick’s friends from college played disc jockey and kept the music going.
Cathy thought the music selection was a God thing in itself, for Annie had discovered some Christian groups that she might never have noticed otherwise. Cathy couldn’t have been prouder of Annie as the night wore on.
By two A.M., she and Steve were exhausted, and they left the gym and went into the game room where it was cooler and quieter. They plopped onto the couch there and dropped their heads back on the cushions.
“It’s going well,” Steve said.
“Yeah, I’m really proud of her,” Cathy said. “But you know what this means, don’t you?”
“It means she’s going to be leaving soon.”
“Yes. Soon. Like in the next week or two, maybe. A month, tops.”
“That’s right,” Steve said. “How are you going to handle it?”
She looked at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I guess I never really thought it would happen. I mean, Annie raising her own support? No way. But then she came up with this ingenious plan, and look at her. She’s made money hand over fist tonight.”
“She’s let a few people in free.”
“Yeah, but most of them have brought the money. And some of the parents even wrote bigger checks. It’s kind of unbelievable.”
Times and Seasons Page 24
